Marriage is Murder

"If Khaat and Brian join us, she won't be strong enough to be at the table. I would imagine Brian will make her comfortable on the sofa. And he probably will sit with her. I don't know if she's that strong to hold a cup for very long yet. She's working on it, though," Kate said. "Robert didnt' expect her to do nearly this well yet. If she were muggle, she might well have died by now. She is fortunate she has the constitution of the wizarding people."

"She's fortunate she has her father," Michael said quietly. "Or the wizarding constitution wouldn't mean a damn, Kate. And you know it."

"I know," Kate said, as Angus set breakfast on the table for everyone. But Kate had a darker thought on her mind. If the others were in too much of a hurry to bring the kids home, then there was a chance they would bring them home before Khaat was hidden in her room again. If they were brought home before Khaat were hidden again, there was an excellent chance that the kids would be horrified, and no one wanted that.

And right now, it was good for Khaat to be out of her room. It was good for her to get used to faces and people that she knew before. But she and Robert and Brian all knew that before the kids could possibly come home, Khaat had to be shut away from everyone in her room again to avoid frightening the children--especially her own children who were accustomed to the mother they knew. Kate did not want her grandchildren frightened by the ghastly looking woman their mother had become. On the other hand, she deeply hated how Khaat had to be shut away from the people she needed the most to avoid terrorizing her own children, either because of how badly she looked or because she didn't remember them in the slightest.

Kate had thought that perhaps it might be better for Brian to take Khaat away for a few days in order to let her at least get on her feet without having to exist in her bedroom. She hadn't had a chance to discuss it with Brian or Robert yet, but she was sure it had already crossed their minds.

Brian came down by himself. "Good morning," he told them. "You're free to bring the children back any time," he said.

"And Khaat? What of her?" Kate asked.

"I've been showing her photographs in our picture album. She has seen photos of the children. She's also seen herself in the mirror this morning when I helped her wash up. She hadn't seen herself before. She had a hard time believing that the woman in the mirror is the same woman in the photographs. It was pretty traumatizing for her," he sighed.

"Is she alright?" Michael asked.

"Honestly? Not really," Brian said. "She's upset. She made her own choice not to come downstairs. I think she feels humiliated and embarressed by how she looks, and she asked me if the children had seen her looking like this. I had to be honest with her. When I told her no, she made her own choice to stay out of sight. But, I feel the same way you do, Kate. The last thing she needs to do is to feel like she has to be a prisoner in her own home. She's not going to feel normal again unless she gets that unconditional acceptance from us that makes her feel like she belongs here. She certainly doesn't remember belonging here. And if she's shut away from us, she's not going to ever feel at home again. I don't know if I know the right answer. We've decorated the place for Christmas, to look warm and welcoming, and yet, in reality, she can't begin to feel warmed or welcomed because she has to not let her own children see her. " He sighed heavily. "She asked me if I knew how to
cast any sort of spell to keep the children away from her. So, I put an age spell on the door to keep the children from being able to open it. I don't want her to have to be shut way like a prisoner in a cell."

"I have no idea," Kate said. "With Dakota, who knows? Sometimes she can be an angel, and then she can really be a itle troublemaker when the mood suits her. But my best guess is that there are lots and lots of Donohues to give them lots of individual attention, and the probably enjoyed it."

Brian met his kids with hugs and smiles and kisses. He was glad to see them, even though there was some emotinal pain in it for him. It felt to him as if she definitely more shut away now.

"Angus," Brian said, "I think I'll take my tray upstairs and some more tea for Khaat," Brian said.

"Robert decided she could try some of the recipes from the book Michael brought," Angus said. "So I actually have a tray for her.I can just enlarge the tray and put your breakfast on it if you like."

"Yes, please," Brian said. "You'll all excuse me, I'm sure. You know where to find me." Angus fixed the tray, and Brian floated the tray upstairs. Kate decided to talk to Robert when he woke. For the moment, she set about the task of putting the kids into their seats for breakfast. They were delighted to see their grandmother and the rest of the faces they were used to at home. And they were definitely hungry.

"That's because thats where the kids all gather when i'm in charge. They know I'm in the kitchen a good part of my day, and they've learned to be in here with me," Angus said. "They're learning to bring their own toys in now to keep them occupied if they intend to stay here for any length of time. I've made an age line around the ovens and things where they could get hurt, so its a pretty safe place for them--unlike muggle kitchens. Muggle parents must have to have eyes all over their heads when it comes to the kitchen."

Khaat had noticed Brian's stress this morning. And it had only increased when she had made her decision not to come out of her room when the staff had rushed to get the kids home far sooner than Brian had wanted. She wrote a note to him telling him to go to work.

"No," he told her firmly. "I'm not. I belong right here. You've barely been home 24 hours. Your father has given me time off to be with you. Did you try to eat?" She nodded slightly. The cereal was a bit of a touchy thing. She'd had a few sips of it and then had set it aside. He didn't pressure her. He could tell she was thinking but she wasn't in the mood to tell him what she was thinking about, so he decided to leave it alone for awhile.

"She's stressed," Kate said. "She doesn't want Brian to know what she's thinking or feeling, but its normal under the circumstances. She's feeling like an intrusion, and she's feeling like she doesn't belong and has to stay out of the way. And I can't say that I wouldn't feel the same if I were in a home with total strangers. If I were her, I would only be staying because I had no actual alternative but the streets in the snow. Her urge to run is huge, and I daresay I don't know that most of us wouldn't feel the same way. If I know Brian at all, its deliberately why he hasn't left her. He seems to understand that right now she doesn't feel like she belongs anywhere. I wasn't planning on waking Robert before he was ready to be awakened, but if the restlessness doesnt' settle for her, I might wake him. He would want to know."