MARRIAGE IS MURDER
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As each day goes by more and more witches and wizards are partnered in law, for some marriage has arrived, others are planning a wedding or even taking regular visits to St Mungo's for fertility potions and check ups. It is a force shaking the entire wizarding nation but is it achieving anything? No doubt a Ministry Official would provide positive reviews but is it really reaching its goals?
Article 203, Matrimonium Legem stated: 'Too many squibs are being born and the birth rate is at an all time low.'
Whether this is the true reason behind the law remains unclear, the Ministry has provided no statistical evidence to support this reasoning. Many have questioned how forced marriage will increase the birth rate. With newly weds bickering over life and death choices, making decisions for each other without a say and avoiding each other at all costs will these marriages result in a rise in births? Unlikely.
Fortunately I, Pansy Parkinson-Nott, managed to speak with a recently married victim to this law who I shall refer to as 'Mrs X' for they wish to remain anonymous out of fear that the Ministry will give them a life sentence in Azkaban for speaking out and telling the true tales of the laws failures. This fear is understandable, after all the Ministry did threaten Azkaban sentences for those who oppose the law. Azkaban, the dwelling of the dementors and home of homicidal half breeds.
Upon receiving her letter Mrs X claimed that she was 'angry' and 'shocked that the idiots thought it was legal.' Idiots. That is the common nickname for Ana Levski and Elijah Krum who are behind the law. Idiots. A term used to describe an unintelligent person. Should we really, as a nation, have to take orders for unintelligent people making unintelligent decisions? Enforcing laws that they perhaps wont follow themselves, especially Ana Levski who is happily married and already has children of her own. Perhaps if she were to be partnered with someone she barely knew.
When asked on a scale of one to ten where they would rate their match, Mrs X replied: 'My original match was a one. Nice guy, but I knew **** about him.' I will leave the readers to use their imagination for the word choice Mr X used. For all Mrs X knew her partner could have been a convict, someone with more than just skeletons in their closet.
This law isn't just affecting the individuals. Families are been torn apart, parents are outraged that their children - still in Hogwarts - are being partnered with Professors or someone they never expected their daughter to marry.
Mrs X, it seems, didn't obey the law. Her match was so far from who she would have partnered herself with that she 'eloped with a friend', to use her words. A loophole in 'married bliss', words Mrs X would not describe as the outcome of her arrangement.
To conclude our interview I asked Mrs X if she had any last thoughts to give, a warning for future couples or advice to the general public. Her words:
'People need to realize that this law is not legal. The orchestrators of this law are going to find themselves walking through fire once the Ministry finds itself in the right hands again. I can't wait to see them behind bars. And I'm calling people out right here, right now. Do not trust Ana Levski nor Elijah Krum. Do not trust your Ministry right now.'
This marriage law is ruining the wizarding population, a civil unrest is beginning to spark as innocent widows, daughters and homosexuals are forced to live a life they loathe.
Remember to write your thoughts about the law to the Daily.
Daily Prophet Reporter
Pansy Parkinson-Nott