The dark heart home

Jess fround "hay what am i, you can leave her here with me while your at work, Im sure these two woud love to be her play mates and they'd keep each other happy" she said hoping she would agree "and I'm closer to the ministry than St mongos." so far everything she had sujested Khaat had turned down and she was begining to run out of ideas , shopping had been shot down, coffee and tea she had turned down , she hoped she would see the sense in her offer as she was slowly running out of ideas "I know your father is at St. Mongos but do you honistly think he has the time to look after her while he works, while me Im out of work at the moment and have all the time in the world to give her what she needs" she sat back in the chair "Besides you have done so much for us i'd like to repay the favor some how"

"That might work," Khaat smiled. She took in a deep breath of fresh air, relaxing, and let it out slowly. "You know, there is something nice about not having to be someplace, doing something or fighting for something. Its a change I could like for awhile. I'm sure in a few months it will be boring as heck. But right now, I really am just enjoying being outside without being pressured to go anywhere or do anything. I bet that sounds weird. I'm sure you're all done with not going anywhere or doing anything. I'm just getting started at it. And it feels very weird to me."

jess smiled seeing her freind relaxed " you should try it ffrom my poit of view , three kids one nearly one, A house to keep and a husband to keep satisfied i think i got my hands full and im being kept busy , but it is good to just stop once in a while" she chuckled " like recharging your batterys " she said as she watched andrew kick his bal again , but then he yawned "ok time for some one's nap " she said taking Andrews hand "Khaat will you watch the twins for me" she asked mving inside to settle Andrew win his room in his new bed.

"Of course," Khaat said, watching Jess leave with Andrew. "Jack, answer me honestly. You've seen Jessica through two pregnancies now. Daddy is almost beside himself with how thin I have gotten. He's threatened me with all sorts of things, hoping to intimidate me into gaining weight. I think he knew it was all tied up with my problems with Rob. But he couldnt get me to move past how much I love Rob and how much I wanted him in my life.

"So, tell me the truth. Do I look that awful that it is really an embarressing sight? I know that in another week, I shoudl be just starting my fourth month, and my clothes are just starting to get a bit snug. I tried my maternity clothes on, and I'm drowning in them. Daddy called me his 'little war orphan' the other day. If I really do look that bad, I'm going straight to a muggle apothecary and buying all sorts of muggle makeup to hide it a bit, even if Rob does hate seeing me wear it. He believes it looks like I'm wearing cake frosting on my face. He much prefers a glamours charm instead. But I might have to do something. That's all I'm saying. So--be honest."

jack looked at her and sat down "you want the truth " he looeked worried "first both your wands please , i don't fancy being turned into a toad or a frog for that matter" he said chuckling but he knew if she'd asked then she was wanting the truth "ok i won't suger coat it , I thought you looekd better fefor all this , your too thin , you lookm like one of those anorecxic women to me, and ts no pretty to any man" he sat back in his chair "you should put back that weight and quit worrying what rob wants live for what you want" he added hoping he ahdn;'t just dropped himself into loseing a freind.

"Well, that's basically what Daddy's been saying," she replied, not surprised. "I did not intend on this happening. Really. I just...well, I had no appetite after Rob left. And I gjuess, if I think about it, I just gave up. The only way fo rme to cope with it wsa to either just keep working, or, well, I guess getting addicted to that numbing potion like I did only sped up the process of the weight loss. I just couldn't deal with feeling that grief anymore. I know it makes me sound like less than who I should be as Lupin, or whoever else it is people think I am. But sometimes I just don't want to always be a warrior and be strong and fight. Sometimes I want it to be okay that I"m not."

Jack chuckled then laughed "you relay think peple will think any less of you, ans al they will think , my god she's human after all" he said with a smile as he moved to hug her " come off it you've done a heck of a lot, time for you is aloud you know and well rob didn't help any but disapearing off like he did " Jack sat looking at her "takeing time for you self isn't aganst the law , well not yet, so stop doing the self pity thing and just put that weight back on " he moved to hold her in ahug "god Khaat , jess lost a stone in weight but shes still loved by me and Andrew " he pulled back to look at her "even if you come ehre and jessica cooks somehting you could eat here with us that way your not eating alone and Robert can't complaine as jessica makes all her own food she even has a small vegtable patch around the side" he grined "her veg soup it to die for"

"Sounds good. I just might take you up on that. I sometimes prefer soup to heavier dishes. It seems tosettle better in my stomach on days when I am maybe a bit off. I do know how that is normal sometimes for pregnant women, but I'm having trouble adjusting to that. I would think that should be wearing off soon. Well, it does for most women anyway. Probably ought to sometime talk with Daddy about that. I really do appreciate you guys. At least around you two, I don't ever have to be someone I"m really not. Don't have to live up to someone else's expectations of me. Thank you for that."

Jack looked at her "is that what your trying to do , live up to Rob and robverts expectaions ?" he asked sitting back shaking his head "don't , you'll only end up hurting your self and abby too and i know jessica would never forgive herself if you did that " he could not understand why she thought that about her self "Khaat your a wonder ful woman and soon to be mother , I THNK Abbys going to ove you just as she dose her dad , I know Andrew would be lost if it wasn't for you and Jessica she'd never have pulled her self out that depreshion she had when i found her, just enjoy having abby inside you be glad your pregnacys bnot like jessicas with the twins , I had almost excpercted to lose one or both of the twins. " he said folding his arms acros his chest..

"I hear you," she smiled. "You're right. I know. And I'm grateful for your friendship. It does make life easier when things get tough. I think sometimes this whole pregnancy thing makes me moody. I am sorry about that. I don't mean to be. I think that's part of why Daddy wanted me to have time off, so I can sort of catch up with myself. And I'm starting to like it. Right now, it wouldn't be a big deal for me to give up the Wizengamot. St Mungos would be harder, but I could do it."