The Splintered Dreams

"Put them away for now, Cordell," Khaat said gently about the pictures. "Someday you'll want them. I spent a lot of years not being able to look at any picture of my uncle. Now those pictures are the most priceless thing I have. Come on. Deal. I bet I can take you at Gin."

"Its a deal," she said softly. "I'm not sure you're as big of a mess as I feel, though," she finally admitted. "Do you know how many times I thought about sneaking off to one of those muggle back alley places to get rid of my baby before she was born? It would nave not taken a lot of time, and would have eliminated a lot of stress between him and me. Except what I think I'm seeing is that he wants her--on his conditions--and not me. And I have let myself just be desperate enough to want to give him whatever he wants in order to try to keep him. How incredibly pitiful is that? My Uncle Remus would have boxed my ears for even thinking that way. Not that he ever boxed my ears even one time, but he surely threatened to more than once when he didn't like my choices. You have absolutely no idea what I wouldn't give to have him back one more time to be able to just make the world go away for awhile. Sometimes I think coming out of exile was a huge mistake. I wanted to make his death count for something. To make sure Remus Lupin didn't die in vain. And all Iv'e done is open myself up to a lot more pain and heartache than I bargained for."

"Thanks, " Khaat smiled. She shuffled and dealt the cards quickly. "I haven't played gin in a long time. Its not exactly one of my games anymore, I don't think. You'll have a sharp advantage this time. So, did your mom pack everything you think you'll need? Or do you have some other things that you might want? If so, we can send for them fairly soon if you like."

Khaat looked at her cards. two nines, a five, a four and a queen, and nothing seemed to work, except maybe the nines. Well, if that wasn't just a mess! She didn't like dealing crap. Maybe Walker had better. She waited for Walker to play his first card on the discard stack. "Hmm," she frowned, "This really might not be my game after all." She laughed.

"I can hear your thoughts spinning a mile a minute," Khaat said, drawing a card. A stinking four. Well, that was useless. She cast it off. "What's eating at you? Too much of your past in that trunk? I do know what that feels like. These used to be Remus's rooms, and I came in here the morning I learned he had been murdered. It seemed like he was everywhere. It was all too much to take in. It took a lot of time. Most of Remus's stuff is still here in the house, because I wouldn't let Daddy get rid of it. But I only have some things of his in here now. I've learned to not need everything. But it did take time."