The Splintered Dreams

Cordell nodded in agreement "yea I know what you mean" he said then Robert apeared he watched the interction between Khaat and him he could not help smirk at her comment. When he touched his head he felt light headedness and knew he had cut to the chase feeling just how he truly felt, but when he said he would sign him out at the end of the day he smiled " Thank you sir " he looked at Khaat "seems our deal is still in place, Khaat" he said but it wa sthen he realised he had no clothes "erm Sir one problem Unless ya all want to see me butt nacked i need some clothes, seems they didn't bring any of mine when i was brought here" he said loking at the empty closet.

"Well, at least we know you won't go far til Daddy comes to get you, then," Khaat laughed.

"I will assure you that I won't let you leave here naked," Robert laughed. "I'll arrange something and then take to a muggle mens' wear shop down the street that you might like. I think you'll find everything you need there. If not, I know a few more. We are not going to spend hours on this, but at least you can find some changes of clothes. In the meantime. Rest. Khaat, here, is another story. She is probably going to work--but at my pace and not hers."

Cordel nodded "yes sir" he said sitting back on his bed happier he was getting out of the hospital that evening as he rested he pictured shadow the brown and white feathers of his wings and the slope of his back , Cordel had alway wanted to ride him but never go the chance as he was transphered as soon as he graduated the acadamy. "Khaat whats jet like?" he asked "Shadow was too young for me to ride though we ahd horses witch i did regulrly" he lay his head on the pillow turning so he could see her "not the same i guess"

"Its like riding the wind," she said, smiling. "If you could just ride the wind itself. That's what its like. When you get well enough, I know you're going to like riding him. And he loves to fly. And you will have to try riding the unicorns. It does feel different than riding a muggle horse. Lighter, magical. just different. There is a lot of new things for you to try. I think you'll find there really is a lot of England to like. The shop Daddy was talking about is one he uses to get his clothes for at home. A lot of the blue jeans and cotton shirts that he needs for farm work and less formal wizarding wear. They are a lot bigger on the inside than they are on the outside. I can't imagine there would be a lot that they would not have."

cordell listened to her talk of riding the hyppogriff and unicorns "sounds great" he said smiling "maybe before ya get too big ya can come with " he asked "just so I don't make any mistakes " he added having no rode in along time , she chuckled tohimself as he thought of him falling flat on his backside the frist time he rides one but he knew he was in safe hands " don';t want to be a burden on any one Khaat, first time I am please tell me and i'll find somthing else to do" now he wished that evening would come soon enouph.

That evening came fast for him he sat on the bed waiting for Robert t come colect him he done the pacing and the lookng out the window now he sat meditating on the bed tying to sooth his mind and body.

"I'm glad you're here, really. Gets my mind off Rob. We just got married on Valentines Day, and now he decides he doesn't know whether he can get past his fear of commitment. Well, between the marriage and Abbey and an adopted 15 year old, he really is a day late and a dollar short on that. Having you around reminds me I might have to rethink whether I really need to stop being everything I am to try to fit into what he needs me to be. To become someone totally new for someone who just seems to want to be twelve. Sorry. You don't need to hear all my problems. I guess I just am glad for someone, besides my folks, who understands me."

Cordell looked at her and listened "why do you have to be what he wants be ya self" he said "ya all right doing that and yur kids need you more, if he can't see that hes not worth a dollar nor a dime" he said his eyes still closed as he meditated "if ya don't mind me saying this , why ya marry him?" he asked now opening his eyes to look at her " I don't mind take my thought away from my own problems " he said smiling " besides helps me forget im here in a hospirtal still, wish ya father would turn up" he sighed .

"The day is still early, Cordell," Khaat smiled, "They're still setting out breakfast trays. I guess I married Rob because I fell so deep in love with him right at first sight. I thought that was fairy tale stuff. But it sure hasn't been a fairy tale marriage. I keep asking him what he needs from me, what I did wrong, what I need to fix, and he never answers. I barely see him at all right now. He has no idea, apparently, how hurtful that is. How lonely that is. I had hoped he would want to be involved with Abbey during this time I carried her but it seems to just scare the hell out of him. No matter what I do, it seems to be wrong for Rob. So, I guess I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me that I am not woman enough for him. And I give him space. So I've been sleeping here most of the time. My parents keep a close eye on the houseful of teenagers I am the guardian for.

"See, here's the other problem. I spent all the money I had saved up when I fell in with the wrong folks and before I realized what the hell was happening, I was pretty addicted on a numbing potion designed to take away all the emotional pain. But my friends found me and rescued me from myself. My father and Rob forced me into detoxing from it, and I'm back to myself. But, that certainly lowers my self esteem too. Rob did stand by me with that. I was really surprised. So after that, I guess I felt I owed it to him to dump all my emotional junk and to try to become whatever it took to be the woman he wanted.

"So how's that for a long drawn out melodrama for you? They don't even make movies that bad anymore."

Cordell listened again when she said kept saying the woman he wanted, this made cordell slightly angery "Hey!! enouph, yur the woman you want to be for you, not for him , ya stronger than him, ya got over it all, ya here now arin't ya" he sighed "just stop beatin ya self up and look at what ya have not what ya don't have , a family a child in ya who needs a mother and one whos waitin, If he don't want ya hes stupid" he said "hes pulling ya down, Let it go" he said now sitting next to her "and thats from some one who dosn't know him only you, look at me , Lost my family but ya don't see me beating ma self up, Get over it and work it out " he folded his arms across his chest "If I hear you say you did it for him , I wear I'll put ya over ma knee" he said looking at her "father or no"

That made her laugh. She laid her head on his shoulder, her blond and chestnut hair falling softly on his chest. "You're good for me, Cordell. I want you in walking shape in the next week, so we can go on some long walks out at the farm. Then maybe some running. I could use an exercise buddy. And, we have a full gym here. Not only for physical therapy but also for staff's use too. I could talk to the director and get permission for you to check it out today if you like," she teased him. "I think I know her."