Sarah Apartment (( MATURE CONTENT))

After a half a hour. She got out and got dressed. Her hair fell around her face, and she felt better. She walked into the bedroom. " Jasper?" She said looking around for him. She sat herself down onto their bed. She laid down. She started to cry. She couldn't cuddle with Jasper, or hugg him right or anything. She buried her head into her pillow. She punched her pillow. She was crying so hard her body was shaking. She hate not being able to love him. She hated it. She stopped crying after 20 minutes. She snuggled into her pillow. She closed her eyes and touched her belly. She started to talk to the baby. " I love you Baby. I hate not being able to love your father, like hug him or anything. you will be excited to met him. he is wonderful. He sure is handsome. You are the best thing in the world, well second best thing. Your father is still the first. " She said lightly, rubbing her belly and she smiled. She loved their baby so much. She didn't know what she was going to name it. She felt overly happy. She continued to rub her belly. The baby kicked her stomach, lightly, happily. She was so happy. It was the best thing that every happened to them.

Jasper got up from the table and walked to the bedroom door. Not wanting Sarah to see him he stood to one side listening. He hated to hear her cry. This tore a piece of him out. Then he listened as she started to talk to their baby. He listened to the things she said to it. This made him sad on one hand but very happy on another. Slowly he walked around to stand in the doorway. Standing watching Sarah on the bed. Hands on her beautfiul belly. Talking to their unborn child. It was such a private moment that he hated to intrupt. nBut he stood watching.

Sarah continued to talk to her unborn baby, not noticing Jasper was near. She smiled down at her belly. " Baby, I don't think your father loves me anymore. He never shows it anymore. Maybe I am a burden to him. Maybe I am ugly to him now." She said still talking to him. She sighed and hugged her belly and rested her head on it. " Baby, i hope your father still loves me, but I am not sure anymore. I have gotten fat, and I waddle every where. I can't kiss him or hug him or relax to him. I just want to be loved, but I seem to be a burden to him. I love it when he rubs my back and takes care of me, but I can't tell him that. " She said rubbing her belly. She started to cry again. She calmed herself down after a few minutes. She rubbed her belly lightly. She looked at the door for jasper,but didn't seem him. " baby. Maybe he couldn't take it anymore and left me, but as long as he is happy. Baby, You will so get to know. I don't care about myself. I would rather be in pain to cause other people pain." She said gently. She sighed and put the blanket over her belly. She look out the window. As long as he was happy. That was all that mattered.

Jasper listened to Sarah. How on earth could she think that? His life was here in the room. Where would he go? He watched and listened to her. She was so sad. He had no idea. Knowing that he had withdrawn hisself from her. Knowing that he didn't act like he use to around her. He now felt horrible. Even worst then he did before. Jasper loved Sarah with everything he had. Slowly he walked into the room. And to Sarah's side of the bed. He knealt down. Not wanting to hurt her. He kept off the bed. He reached out to brush her hair away from her face. "Sarah. Angel. How in the world could you think I don't love you? You are my world. My eveything."

Sarah looked at Jasper, then looked down. She felt bad. " How the heck was I suppose to know Jasper!??!?! You never show it anymore, so I just thought..." She said trailing off then looked at the her belly. She felt bad. She hugged it. She wanted to cry. She looked at his face with her sad, painful eyes. She quickly looked away. she felt unhappy. " You never show like you care, Jasper. You never show it. I try to show you. I don't tell you I am in pain or not feeling good, because i don't want to be a burden to you. Jasper, I don't care if I am in pain, as long as your happy, that all that matter. It would kill be to see you with someone else, but if it makes you happy... Thats all that matter." She said gently. She looked away. She moved away from him and touched her belly. She felt like her heart was being ripped into two.

Jasper stayed where he was for a very long time. Letting Sarah's words sink in. His actions were not coming across like he had meant for them to. He sat back on the floor, streching his long legs out in front of him. They ended under the bed. He could feel the tears starting up in his eyes. But he wanted to hold them off, for Sarah's sake. "Sarah, I only gave you room because I felt that was what you wanted. Everytime I get close to you, you seem to be in pain. It hurts to see you like that. Cuts like a knife here." Jasper said placing his hand over his heart. Jasper looked up but not directly at Sarah. "This has been hard on me. I know its worse for you. So much change. So much pain. But its my fault. I did this to you. To see you there in pain and discomfort. Its my fault." He looked back to the floor. "I love you both more than life itself. I want you two more than I have wanted anything in my entire life. But I can't sit here and act like it doesn't bother me. Seeing you in pain day in and day out." Looking back to Sarah, Jasper asked, laying his hands on the side of the bed. "What can I do to prove to you I love you?"

Sarah looked at him and was to shocked to speeck. She was about to cry. then she did. " Jasper." She said grabbing his hand and putting it on her belly. '' But it is worth it Jasper, It is worth it!!" She said holding his hand there. " Who cares about me??!?!' She said starting to get angry. She sighed a heavy sigh. She looked into his eyes. " The little things matter Jasper. You can show you love me by just saying it, hugging me from behind, helping me. Little things jasper!! Little Things. I know this is to much for you. jasper, Please get your things and more back to Zoes. it is the best for you. Please Leave. " She said trying not to cry. She looked away. She looked at him and shook her head. She put her hands on his face. " If you really love me, please, please find someone else, and move back to Zoe." She said gently.

Jasper looked at Sarah. He didn't know what to say. The knife in his heart was digging deeper. "Sarah. I'm sorry I wont go back. Not to Zoe's. Not ever. I won't put her through my problems again. I can't. I love you and I love this baby. But how can I hold you or hug you when you push me away. You keep me at a distance, when all I want is to be beside you. I want you in my arms. To smell you hair and breath on me. I don't care how big you get. You are never ugly. That kills me to hear you say that." Jasper stood and sat on the side of the bed. Like he had many times before he reached out to pull her into his lap. He wanted her to see how he felt. "Sarah. Please. I beg you. Don't shut me out. You are my everything. You and our little one. I can't go on without you. If I loose you both I loose my will to live. Please." He pleaded with her. Hopeing she would change her mind and not kick him out. Jasper was so empty before he met Sarah. But ever since she came into his life, he was whole. If she did this to him. He would be the empty shell from before and he knew that he couldn't do that. "I love you. More than you can ever imgaine." He told her pleading with his eyes for her to forgive him. "From this moment on. I will be the man I was before. I will be better. Just don't do this to me."

Sarah broke down and started to babble. " Jasper.." she said in between crying. " I jsut ruined your life. I love you more than anything. I want you to be happy. You need to be happy. I am just hurting you. Jasper, you are my world, my everything. If you want when the baby is born you can have the baby. " She said crying. She would have no input in the babies life. She moved away from Jasper. She put her hand on his belly. She looked down at her belly. She rubbed it. " Jasper, It is not you. Its me. I need you to be happy. You told me i a ripping your heart. Please Jasper, just walk out forget about me and start over. Please. Let me get through this pregnancy and after the baby, just let me die here in my bed, alone. Like my vision said i would. Please walk out. I told you to leave, but you would not do it. Just leave me and leave me now." She said gently, looking into his eyes. She was slowly dieing inside. Her body was shaking. She got up and walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror.

Jasper felt his hands fall to the bed. His stupid actions had cost him the most important person in his entire life. He also knew that there was no way in hell he could take their baby away from its mother. No matter what Sarah said. After a few minutes, the tears started. He didn't know what to do. But he knew that Sarah wanted him gone. That much she had made very very clear. Quietly he went to the closet and packed a small bag. If the time came to retrieve the rest he would. But Jasper knew that that time would never come. Finally after a while his bag was packed except for his things in the bathroom. He hated to bother Sarah but he had to get his things. "Excuse me." He said not looking at her. He didn't want the last images Sarah to remember would be the tears and pain in his eyes and face. Walking back to the bedroom he place the small bag inside the bigger one. Finally turning back to Sarah. He tried to compose his face. "Sarah." He said but she was ignoring him. "Sarah please. At least look at me." He waited till she turned. "I love you. Know that I'm only doing this because you want me too. I don't want to go and it is going to kill me to be without you. But this isn't about me. Its about you. and what you want." Saying this took a lot out of his. He fell to the bed sitting. Jasper's hug his head and weaped.