Rebel Without a Cause

"Not quite." she replied looking at him, "But you aren't far off." She took another sip of her drink. He wanted to make a game out of it. What he didn't know was Christy had seer abilities. Something that allowed her to witness what exactly had happened when her father was murdered. She wasn't there but upon seeing his body she was able to see exactly what had happened as if she had been there herself.

"I'll play your game." she said looking at him, "Lets see. I would say you were a pretty straight forward student in school, probably got pretty good grades. More than likely from a broken home. Father was abusive am I right?" she asked looking at him. This was something she hadn't done with someone in a while. This would have been the type of game her cousin Godric would have made her play if he were still around.

"You've seen a lot of pain in your life." she went on to say, "You can tell me at any point if I'm wrong. Lets see by your looks you look like you were rode hard and put out wet so I would say you've gotten out of Azkaban fairly recently. You've harmed several people but nothing truly evil in the minds of someone who's seen similar pain you've been through."

She looked at him waiting to see if exactly how much she had gotten correct. She took another sip of her drink and waited listening to more people come in and loud greetings coming from other witches and wizards throughout the bar.

Felix listened to her speak, and right off the bat he felt his stomach churning. She was better at this then he thought. The moment she mentioned his father, he turned away from her, sipping his drink while she went on. She was nailing it on the head, and he had to wonder if she knew who he was. He could feel fear creeping up into his bones. His stomach was churning and he almost felt sick when she finished.

"I have to say you're pretty good." He said in a carefree voice, trying not to betray his sweaty palms and racing heart as he took another drink of his firewhiskey. "So here's the real question then.." He said after a moment, his eyes closed as he gripped his cup, forcing his hands not to shake. "Do you know who I am... can you piece together that life and guess? I'll tell you one truth about myself... my name isn't Alex.." He said lightly, he could feel his throat burning, he didn't know what he was doing.

He had obviously gone insane.

She watched him. She could tell that he was getting nervous. She had to have been hitting the nail on the head with what she was saying. Too bad she had in a way cheated. She had gotten into fair control of her seer abilities after her father was murdered. Choosing when she could see something a lot of the time.

She could also tell that he was trouble...he was the kind of trouble her cousin reminded her of when he was around. She looked him in the eyes, "If your name isn't Alex then I honestly don't know who you are." she said in all honesty. She knew she had to be as honest as possible, because he if really was anything like her cousin, she could be in serious trouble. That wasn't something she wanted to see herself in without someone to back her up.

"You could fill me in and I'd know. Not like there's anyone around here for me to tell. You really can't be that bad." she went on to say. "Probably just misunderstood like a lot of people in this sorry world we live in."

Felix couldn't help but look at her when she said he was misunderstood. His forehead crunched together, and his frown deepened. He was thinking hard. Very, very hard, and he simply stared at her. His eyes fixed on hers as though trying to read into her very heart. Down to her soul, trying to figure her out. Trying to figure out what made her tick, what made her, her.

"You wouldn't think that if you knew of half the things I've done. I say my name and you run out of his bar screeching for an Auror to come save you.." He smirked and looked down into his glass, carefully raising it and letting the bartender fill it up for him, before taking a large swallow of it. "I have done bad Christabelle Whittle.. I used to think it was cause I was misunderstood, but I could have gotten out of the hole I was in.. instead I dug it in deeper.. and spent the last two miserable years feeling sorry for myself."

He glared at his drink, before shaking his head. "No.. I'm not misunderstood... I am a bad person, and I'm sorry to have bothered you." He suddenly stood up, nodded to her, and moved to a table in the corner, away from her and the away from the sinking feeling of loneliness he now felt, the stabbing pain he felt after the loss of Naomi, the incredible guilt over the words he had said to drive her away. He had driven the only bright thing in his life away.. and it was his fault, not the world's.

He was not misunderstood, he was a monster.

Christy got up and followed him over into the corner of the room. "I never said you were bothering me now I think I'm going to bother you." she replied sitting down in front of him. "Want to know what I've done or seen?" she was slightly mad at him for walking off to feel sorry for himself. She had learned in her own time that you couldn't sit there and feel sorry for yourself. It only lead to more trouble in the long run.

"My final year of school I got involved with someone who shared my belief that all vampires and werewolves shouldn't be allowed to live on the same world as us and together we created the Confederacy of the Light. And in that we worked hard and even had the backing of the British minister while having Aurors after us for the things we did. We kidnapped, tortured and murdered vampires and werewolves for doing nothing but being what they were." She sighed, "Think that's not bad, I had to rush home right after graduation to someone that had escaped from our tortures to find that they had murdered my father the German Minister as punishment for what my group did to them. If all you do is sit here and feel sorry for yourself then you will wither away and die. Slowly, part of your soul eats away at itself everyday until nothing is left. Is that truly what you want in life?"

Felix stared at his drink, and jumped when he realized she had followed him to his table. That was something he hadn't quite expected that's for sure. She came over and started to talk, and he found himself staring at her in disbelief. This girl was here, sharing this story with him, and he could feel his jaw dropping. She had killed people like his Naomi... apart of him felt a spark of anger and hatred towards this girl, but she kept talking, and he didn't have time to feel that for very long.

He suddenly leaned towards her, grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him, so she could hear his whisper. "I kidnapped and tortured multiple people, two because I was working for a man who told me two, the others because I wanted to, because I was angry. I've killed countless Aurors, and drove a woman insane. I've tortured innocent children at Hogwarts while pretending it was Detention. My name is Felix Barker, and I made papers when I was sent to Azkaban, I made papers when I kidnapped Khaat Lupin from her office, Elijah Krum from a shopping trip, and Chase Moor from her very home."

"My name is Felix Barker, and I've been away for two years, living in a cave, becoming this." He gestured at himself and held fast to her arm, his hand gripping it hard, almost painfully. "My name is Felix Barker, and I am tired of the person I am... I am 23 years old, and I lost the love of my life because I couldn't admit she was right. I've been to Azkaban twice since I graduated Hogwarts... I've been tortured by the Minister of Magic himself. I was abused by my father as a child, and abandoned by my mother at age thirteen."

"My name is Felix Barker, and I need to leave now, because as far as I know, you're going to run to the Ministry now and I need to be as far away from here as possible."

"And what reason do I have to run to the ministry?" she asked looking at him with utter curiosity. She had heard of Felix Barker, but not to the extent that he had just admitted. She had already returned. "Like I said before, the British Ministry is a complete and utter joke in my opinion and you have done nothing wrong in my country that I am currently aware of and if you have, I have no physical proof that you did it."

She pulled her arm away from his grasp and stared him in the eyes, "You might of had your reasons for doing what you did, just as I had my own misguided reasons for my actions. Neither of us is in the right, but sitting here pitying yourself for it isn't going to make the fact that you did what you did." His stubbornness reminded her of her cousin more and more.

"You may feel remorse for what you've done and then again you may not." she was feeling really brave, the effects of the firewhiskey kicking in and helping her along, "But either way we both have to live with what we've done. Only thing is I was mislead into doing what I did by people that I trusted completely to protect me. Whats your excuse? Huh?"

Felix looked up at her when she spoke, his hand slowly loosening on her arm, before finally he half pushed her away and sat back in his seat, picking up his drink and taking a huge gulp of it, feeling it burn down his throat. She spoke, and her last question had his mind reeling. What was his excuse? She had an excuse.. what was his?

After a moment, he slowly looked up at her. "My whole life... I was treated like I was worth nothing, because of my father... he was a Death Eater, and he was sent to Azkaban where he died. Walking down Diagon Alley, I heard nothing but 'There goes Barker's son'. I was an enemy before I had reason to be an enemy. I did what I could to dispel those whispers. I got into Ravenclaw, I got good grades, I was charming and smart.. but the whispers continued."

Felix ran his hand over his forehead. "It was people like Her." he spit out the word 'her' like it was dirty. "People who had everything they wanted... didn't have to listen to those whispers that were so dirty and disgusting they made you feel the need to take a shower to wash off that hatred.. It was people like her who looked down at me."

"So when I was hired to torture her... I was happy to, and when I was chased away for doing it... I went back at her, for revenge, nothing more. She was the embodiment of years of hatred and anger towards me. That's why I did what I did, not because I was forced to, but because I was angry."

"Haven't you ever heard the saying the apple doesn't fall far from the tree love?" she asked looking at him, "People said those things to make it out to be like you would turn into the same thing that your father was." She took in a deep breath. She knew she really wasn't qualified to help him in any professional way. All she really had was the authority to speak to the ministry on his behalf, but even then she didn't know if she would do such a thing. Someone had to feel remorse for things like that and she wasn't sure if he even felt that.

She sat very still for a moment thinking of what she could say next. In the beginning he had been more open with her but this was almost on borderline hatred. He hated people who had everything they had ever wanted and that would include her if she wasn't careful of what she said. "You are blaming a small group of people for feeling the way you did, but it wasn't everyone that ever got everything they ever wanted. Most of us tend to mind our own business unless its to involve themselves in their children's lives. We don't like people to see that its no different behind our doors than it is theirs."

She relaxed a little but didn't fully let her guard down. Having lived with her cousin she knew better than to do that. "You made the choice to take that money and punish a small group of people for what another group put you through growing up. You had every chance and probably still do to redeem yourself. But taking after your father because you are simply a pissed off little boy is not the way to do it."

Felix felt anger burn inside of him. Who was this girl to tell him how to feel? Who was she to act like she knew better then him? His fists clenched and his gaze hardened as he looked up at her. "Says the girl who murdered other races cause you didn't like them.. least I had a reason that they had done something against me.." he growled, his fists clenched on the table and he tried hard not to stand up and make a scene.

"My fiancee was a Werewolf..." He said softly, his gaze pointed directly at the table before he suddenly looked up at her, his hand reaching out to grab her wrist again, hard. Though it was obvious he wasn't at full strength, his grip was tight and would probably hurt, if not bruise.

"I am not. Going to redeem myself." He growled, pulling her closer to him, his voice a whisper. "I am not going to stoop down to the level of the 'good guys' not on your behalf anyway." he hissed and let go of her again, grabbing his glass, he downed it and stood up, throwing a few coins on the table, her glared at her and started towards the door.