Sand and Snow

Khaat looked at Brian and suddenly exploded. "NO more women on my bodyguard team until you get them under control. You understand me? I am NOT going to go through this with every woman you hire. I'll go without a bodyguard at all if you ever hire a woman again. I'll fire the whole bloody lot!"

Robert walked downstairs as Khaat was blasting Brian. He raised an eyebrow at her. This sort of anger was rare for her. She just didnt' do it. Well, hardly ever, and never at Brian. "Khaat Karina," he called to her.

"You hire another woman for me, and I'll fire you too," she snapped at him.

"Okay, I hear you," he said. He walked over to her and laid his hand on her shoulder. He looked at everyone else. "We'll be back." He apparated her upstairs to give her time to cool off.

Brian sighed heavily. "Sorry about that, Steven. I think between Ronata and Jess, Khaat's had enough. And whatever that was with Cassidy is just more than she is willing to deal with. My apologies. I guess I'll have to talk to her."

Robert had taken Khaat upstairs and had accio'd coffee for her and tea for himself. He was trying to get her to come to terms with the fact that she really did feel guilty about Ronata and Jess both. Robert had asked Khaat why she had not even attempted to contact Jess, not to even so much as send an owl to her since she had been gone.

"You know the answer to that," she said.

"Do I?" he asked. "Answer the question."

"Because she's better off without me! That's why! Neither of them could stand up to what I live with everyday just trying to stay alive! Now they're both gone. And good for them! They deserve to be free of that!..." Her voice trailed off.

"And?" he asked. "Finish your thought."

"I was just wondering who else was going to go," she said. He sighed heavily and then kissed her forehead.

"Nobody knows that. Maybe nobody will go. Honey. You can't live your life wondering who else you're going to lose. Stop being so caught up in fear. People are alwasys going to make their own choices. And you're not responsible for anyone else's choices but your own. You know that. Okay?" She sighed heavily. "It'll be alright," he told her softly.

A few moments later, they had fallen silent, and they heard a knock on the door. "Come in," Khaat said,

Cassidy herd her say she could enter and she pushed open the door, seeing Robert she could not help the blush on her cheeks as she looked at him " ow sorry didn't know you had company" she said and looked at them but shook her head "No, I owe you an apology and explenation to why I snapped at Steven " she looked at them her face looking more like a school girl talking about boys for the first time her cheeks re flushed and her hands cupped in front of her not knowing how to exprece how she felt .

"I know your going to think me silly for this" she fou withelt her cheeks flush deeper as she looked at Robert but sat on the carpet in front of them, her shoulders dropped as she sighed "I see steven happy with Delilah, which is great, I see you with Brian and your father with your mother, erm..." she sighed " How do I get what you all have, I was the only one who came alone to the valentines thing and left lone?" she hung her head"its been deep in my mind since that day, sorry if I snapped Khaat, I guess I feel I'm missing out on something"

"I don't think there's any big secret," Khaat said. "Steven has looked for someone because he's been lonely for a long time. Brian and I grew up togther. When my own marriage fell apart, Brian was there when I wasn't able to take care of myself and my brand new baby. The night I delivered Abbey was the night Rob left me for good. I don't know why exactly but he did. I wasn't looking for anyone in my life when Brian took Abbey and me in. I certainly wasn't ready for love. It just happened. My best advice is to quit hunting, just be yourself, and let it happen all by itself.

"That's good advice," Robert said. "When I met Kate, she was dating Remus. I wasn't looking for love either. Kate and I didn't start to get close until she saw that it wasn't working for her and Remus because Remus wanted too much adventure in his life, and Kate wanted stability. It just sort of developed on its own."

Cassidy looked at them both still confused "thats whats confusing, you all weren't looking for it yet you some how found it " she sighed and shrugged "guess I'l l never know , I have been for years just not looking yet here I am still single , I did try but it felt like a brother sister thing" she said "don't worry i didn't let anything go any where , I couldn't....I...I wouldn't know what to do anyway " she looked down at her hands fiddling with an unseen piece of fluff held in them . She felt like she was confessing to her mother.

"I never worried about you and Steven. And its okay that you've not found anyone yet. You have to learn to be okay with yourself first, and you seem to have a lot of raw spots. I've always found that being happy has more to do with whether I was satisfied with myself first. When that happens, then the friends and the love comes. All by itself. You don't have to work at it, you don't have to earn it. It just comes. Maybe you're working just too hard at it. Trying just being yourself."

"Cassidy," Robert said, "You are a very likeable young woman. But as Khaat says, you're trying too hard to hide away all your rough edges. I don't know whether you just don't want people to see them or whether you don't want anyone using them against you, but try just co-existing with those rough spots peacefully. Don't fight with yourself so hard. You'll be a lot happier."

Cassidy looked at the two of them listening she sighed and ded "guess I hid myself away for so long it became natrual to do it , you know like locking myself in a box and just keeping my emotions safe , I have done so much and seen so much wrong, I guess a saw only that and nothing else " she said and smiled "Time i let the woman out of her box " she smiled " you know I always wanted to cook , you think Angus would get mad if i cooked a banana and walnut loaf?" she asked chuckaling "he's way posessive of his kitchen, thought he has cute buns" she looked at them " he has ....he makes good cakes " she realized what it had sounded like and blushed .

"Go ask him," Khaat said. "He has a massive job taking care of this estate and the house, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the babies, the animals, us...If he didn't have magic, he'd never accomplish it. I'm sure he would welcome the help and a companion. In the kitchen or for any of the other 1000 things he does in a days time. I dont' ever see him when he's not busy doing something. Just go ask him. If you want to bake, I'm sure he'd welcome it."

"He would. Certainly," Robert smiled. "Go see him. At lesat make him a friend. It'll be fun."