Pierre sighed. Something needed to be done. He didn’t want Rob’s marriage to fail like his had. Despite the fact that both Rob and Jen believed in the curse of Whitlock blood, Pierre wondered if that was just an excuse; something to keep them from being happy with their respective partners. Rob wasn’t the type to get married so perhaps he’d not thought things through but bonds weren’t made on whims. Something must have happened to really ignite the love between them. Pete was envious of course for a number of reasons. Khaat was lucky. Perhaps she wasn’t always but 40% of the time she was a very lucky woman. For the other 60%, however, she was stupid for even marrying Rob, the one that walked away from everything. Or maybe, this woman was crazy, clingy and not as perfect as her father made out. In which case Rob was doing the right thing. Pete doubted it though, he wouldn’t marry insane women like he did.
Wait, that was the angle to play it wasn’t it?
He got up off of the couch, forgetting about the food and tea, and ran into the bedroom as Rob got into bed. Pierre jumped onto the bed and bounced a few times before dropping down onto his front. He put his elbows. Rob glared at him and Pete looked back innocently. He pushed himself up and jumped onto Rob, sitting on his chest in a very Chris-like way. Rob continued sending him death glares and Pete sat there, leaning back against Rob’s legs. “Come on, Pete. Get off of me, I want to sleep.” Rob groaned. Pete shrugged and gave Rob a cigarette. The man relented and let Pete light the thing before taking long drags. “There’s clearly something wrong with her then.” Pete said thoughtfully, getting Rob’s attention. “Khaat I mean. She must be incredibly unattractive. No let me guess, she’s part giant. No? Okay, uneven breasts. One bigger than the other? Kind of disturbing and scary don’t you think? Tell her she needs a boob job, that’ll bring the passion
right back. Wait... two left feet? Falling all over the show. A crazy fetish for plants. Or she’s a kleptomaniac and is forever stealing your things? Pyro then? Fire ... whoosh! Was she not as good as guys then? Not as good as Chris or David ... or me?”
The last bit was overkill but it needed to be done although, it got a response out of Rob that Pete never set out to receive but he couldn’t complain. Pete leaned down and blew warm air across Rob’s face, causing him to shiver beneath him. “Or is she some slut you fell in love with? A whore that got herself knocked up by some other guy.” Pierre felt Rob stiffen under him and in the blink of an eye he was the one below. He heard the sound of the safety click off of a gun and he felt the cold metal against his jaw. Pete sucked in a breath, wondering if he’d gone too far. When did Rob ever carry a gun? He must of done but Pete didn’t remember him ever letting on. Pete sighed mentally. This was why Rob was far more dangerous than Jen. Even though she didn’t tell many about the locals of her guns and other weaponry they all knew that she had them. Rob was the innocent one, the one that appeared to be an adult one minute and nine the next.
“Say it again, Pete.” Rob hissed dangerously. “Go on. I
dare you. Say it again. Say the words again. Put whore, slut and knocked up in the same sentence with Khaat’s name in it. You’re talking utter bullshit you know what? There is nothing wrong with her. She’s beautiful. She’s a little on the short side but that’s fine. Her.... I’m not even going to discuss that. She’s not exactly clumsy and no she doesn’t have a F*** plant obsession. You’re.... you’re....” Rob blanched and sighed. “Don’t make me kill you Pete.”
“Mon amour, you’re crazy!” Pierre grinned, kissing Rob on each cheek. “You’re in love with her again.”
“I never stopped loving her you stupid prick.” Rob growled, flicking the safety off and rolling off of Pete. “It’s just... things are....complicated.”
“Nothing is ever simple, Rob.” Pete sighed. “If it was then life wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.”
Rob snorted. “Fun. Yeah right.”
“I’m serious, Rob. Everything, good or bad happens for a reason. I know its cliché but it does and it’s up to you to set things right.”
“What about you then? I mean, you’re married to the wicked witch of the west and I’ve got Dorothy minus those trashy shoes. What’re you gonna do?”
“This isn’t about me but if you could ask little Miss Dorothy to pour some water over her then I’m sure Chris will give her some better shoes.” Pete shrugged.
“Uh huh. You should really practice what you preach mate. What are you anyway, one of those flying monkeys?”
Pete chuckled. “Yeah, sounds ‘bout right. Do you reckon I’m ugly enough?”
“Nah, you’re far too pretty.” Rob smirked. “Fancy a bite to eat?”
Pete raised an eyebrow, wondering if everything he’d just done was a waste of time. Rob smirked and got up. He stretched and with a flick of his wand, changed into something that Chris would deem boring. Jeans and a white t-shirt – simplicity at its very best. Pete frowned and flicked his wand at himself, changing into some dark jeans and a red top. Rob grabbed his wrist and Apparated out of the flat. Pete landed in a chair and he looked around disorientated.
“ROBERT!” the scream from a cockney woman came and Pete looked up to see Rob trying to sweet talk her out of yelling at him. Pete smiled as she began to beat him with a breadstick and he got up out of the chair he had been sat in. “How. Dare. You. Bugger. Off. To. France. And. Not. Invite. Me. Do. You. Think. Of. No. One. But. Yourself!?”Ah... breadstick beatings. It reminded Pete of Rob’s grandmother when she’d beat him with anything she could get her hands on. She wouldn’t hurt him of course, otherwise she’d hit him around the back of the head if she wanted him hurt. She’d often do it to Chris. It would really explain the brain damage. Rob ducked under the woman’s arm and the two of them walked out into the main restaurant area. Rob closed the door behind them and Pete grabbed a stool. He stuck the back of it underneath the handle and the two of them grinned at each other.
“Another reason why women scare me.” Pierre grinned. “Londoners are absolutely nuts.”
“I don’t think
that counts as a Londoner. Angry sewer rat, yeah but not London
human.”
“Damn. Chris is gonna be so jealous when he finds out I got to come here first.” He smirked, looking around. “Then again, I’m sure he and David will come back with Jen to give the body of your father-in-law back to Miss Dorothy. Your sister looked as if she wanted to murder Robert.”
Rob groaned. “Why was I cursed with such a crazy sister... what have I done to piss Merlin off so bad eh?”
“Well.... you’re a bit of a twat.”
“Beside the point. I’m an attractive twat.” Rob grinned.
Pete exaggerated giving Rob the once over and shook his head. “Nah.... I bet Dorothy will agree with me too. You’re an unattractive bullshitter that does nothing but spout bullshit for the rest of us to listen to. Don’t say I’m wrong because I’m right and you’re wrong.”