Cockney Accents and Motherly Advice

“Khaat, calm down.” Rob murmured, pulling her close to him. “You were never nuts, just a little bit confused.” He looked around and did notice that there was quite a bit of furniture missing. He smirked, knowing exactly where it was. He’d deal with them all later and hopefully have some sort of discussion as to why they should leave Khaat alone. On the plus side, living furniture meant that Abbey would have the perfect babysitters. “The furniture is actually waiting to see you but I told them that I have rights seeing as I married you and that stupid leather armchair didn’t. It’s quite possessive of you, y’know.” Rob really wasn’t interested in the armchair’s human preferences but he just hoped that Abbey would be able to command respect from the furniture. If she did then Rob would definitely buy her something big and expensive. Maybe he’d just buy lots of teddy bears or a foam pit for her. That would definitely be interesting. “You didn’t make an ass of yourself, alright? Your magic is on the fritz but it does work. Your magic is the cause of the furniture getting up and walking around. Abbey seems to favour her toys dancing all over the show.”

"Oh, nice," Khaat said sarcastically. "I've somehow animated our furniture. And the rest of me is a squib. How lovely! Any clue when life will get back to it's normal chaos? And I do still have Abbey? I'm sorry, but part of me is really still pretty foggy and numb. Is there any good coffee? I sooo need some french roast. Oh, and so you know, I did see you took that potion from me. But I don't seem to have the need for it now. I truly didn't know it would get this far. They told me it was harmless. And I was desperate enough to fall for it. Daddy really did teach me better than that. I promise. I'd have been better at the pub or at the bottom of a bottle of firewhiskey, really. I have a sudden urge to go back there and blow their shop all to hell."

“You’re not a squib.” Rob scowled. “It’s definitely not my magic out of whack and making the furniture chase me. I’m not a self-loathing person and being killed by furniture wouldn’t be the best way to go. As fun as it sounds, there is nowhere to hide. We need a room where there is no furniture, and then we can be safe. Although I agree that it is time you get some food inside of you, you are staying off of coffee and French toast until you put some of that weight back on. I vote for a full English breakfast.”

"Okay on the food, but you've got to let me have a bit of coffee. Can we compromise? Half a cup?" she was willing to try to meet pretty much anything he wanted. But taking her french roast was going a bit too far for her. "Look--I fully expect that you've decided tings have to be different. So, if you would be kind enough to fill in the blanks and then maybe let me know what all your new ground rules are, I really will try to do whatever you ask. But I'm not sure I trust myself on the steps by myself, and I don't know where I'd end up if I apparated. S0--a little help please?"

Rob smirked and took Khaat downstairs. He’d lay down the ground rules but he’d get her fed first. He knew that Abbey was pretty sick of all of the coffee now. He would be too if he was in her position so Rob wondered if he could get hooked on some kind of Muggle energy drink. It would be Khaat’s coffee substitute.

Once Rob had gotten Khaat downstairs he helped her into the kitchen and sat her down in a chair at the table.
Immediately he began cooking up some breakfast for the two of them but kept an eye on Khaat in case she decided to go for the coffee pot. “Abbey has had enough of coffee for now, Khaat.” Rob laughed. “Trust me; I think she’ll hate the stuff when she gets older. But I am more than willing to fill in the blanks. Apart from nearly flooding the kitchen and setting furniture on me then there isn’t much that I can tell you. You should, however, not let strange animals come home with you.”

Rob finished cooking and set the plates on the table. He sent some cutlery over to Khaat and set about getting some pumpkin juice. Once he’d found the carton he poured two glasses out and moved to sit down beside his wife. He put the other glass down and smiled at her. “What ground rules do you expect then, love?” he chuckled.

"Well, first of all, I told you WAY too much while you were that dumb dog. I know better than to talk to strange wizards, much less take them home. And just how do you know so much about Abbey anyway? And how does she have so much power when she's barely 3 months? I feel like a walking incubator for YOUR child. I know nothing about her whatsoever except that I provide her that little room she has for now. Now I know exactly how my parents felt when it came to my attachment to Remus and my choices to ignore them almost altogether.

"Oh, and one more thing- why didn't you tell me you were a dog, and how the heck did you get stuck as a dog and couldn't get yourself back?" She looked at the pumpkin juice and scowled at him. This was not french roast, and he obviously had lost the Compromise gene somewhere. Freaking pumpkin juice? She was a warrior. Warriors didn't drink pumpkin juice. Ever. Well, hardly ever. She had an urge to sic the sofa on him--if she could figure out how to do it.

"I presume going back to work today is not on my schedule. Am I correct? And I presumed you let Daddy secure a leave of absence for me from St. Mungos for some time period. How long before my magic is unscrambled? You really do not have any idea how my questions I have, do you?"

He decided to just continue eating. Khaat wasn’t happy, that much was obvious but Rob was relaxed and didn’t even want to answer any of Khaat’s questions. Her father would in due time no doubt because he’d be back soon; he’d want to check on Khaat and Abbey. Rob picked up his glass of Pumpkin Juice and drank some of it. He did enjoy the drink but he preferred Fire Whisky. He, however, would be staying off of it for a while. “Are you finished?” Rob asked, putting the glass down when Khaat stopped talking. “You need to relax, Khaat. Seriously, I’m not going to tell you everything in one sitting. You need to rest otherwise the prick will have my head and he’ll mount it on the wall. So here’s my attempt at clearing your confusion. First of all, I’m not a dumb dog. I know so much about my daughter because we’re connected in some bizarre way. You’re her mother not some random surrogate alright? I didn’t tell you I was a dog because it never came up. I couldn’t change back because I used the last of my magic to get that way. You presume right, work is out of the question for a few weeks.”

"Okay, I won't call you a dumb dog, if you don't call Daddy a prick. Okay? I know he irks you, but he means well. You do have to, somehow, understand my frustration at finding out my husband is a labrador and that he knows more about my daughter than I do even though he's not the one that has to do this whole labor and delivery bit. And I am very, very sure I cannot convince you to take my place for that little task. The fear gene in the male DNA prohibits any such consideration whatsoever. Alway has.

"Besides that, you do realize Abbey could turn out to be some weird WereDog hybrid--something never seen before. I might be giving birth to a fur creature. That is a bit unsettling, to think I might have to shave my daughter

"And did you just say a few WEEKS?? Oh, God. Let the boredom commense," she sighed. "I presume then, too, that you have plans for my diet and all sorts of other things that either you or Daddy feel have been out of control." She scowled at him. "I know you, and I know my father. You're in this together, aren't you? In some very twisted fashion, you're actually teaming up here. Well, it should at least be interesting to watch," she sighed. "I knew you were going to make me learn how to knit. Crap!" Without thinking, she waved her hand, and thousands upon thousands of knitting needles appeared everywhere in the house with all sorts of color of yarn, knitting all sorts of scarves, sweaters, hats, baby booties, blankets, with a deafening "clicketty clack" that seemed to drown out every other sound for blocks around. It aggravated the furniture that started trying to snap aggresssively at the knitting needles that just kept making the aggravating, deafening clicketty clacking sound. Khaat sighed heavily.

“You’ve upset the furniture, Khaat.” Rob said, stealing a baby bootie from one of the sets of knitting needles. They promptly began to poke him and he threw the baby bootie across the room in an attempt to get rid of the needles. They poked him once more before zooming off to go and retrieve the fallen piece of clothing. Rob sighed and took his plate to the sink. He’d managed to dodge the needles but one could never be too sure. He walked back over and stood behind Khaat’s chair. He wrapped his arms around her and began to gently kiss her neck. “You don’t have to sit and knit y’know.” Rob said between kisses. “There are other things that can be done to keep you entertained I assure you.”

'You know," she said very softly, "You could have anything you wanted. However, we now have both snarfy knitting needles and snarfy furniture. A whole houseful of it. Can you get rid of it? Then you can have anything you want. And I do mean--anything."