Marriage is Murder

"Its very early for this," Robert said quietly. "I didn't expect this for days yet. Its not unheard of, just not likely. But, it is very common that when someone begins to remember that they will remember some of their most powerful memories first. Khaat," he redirected his words back to her. "No one comes through this life without having difficulty or hurtful things. Nobody. And you've had some hard ties, just like everyone else. But it does not mean you ever gave up."

"Khaat," Brian said softly."Do you remember the photo album?" She nodded. "There were an awful lot of smiles in there. It hasn't all been bad. Its been wonderful. Don't be afraid of what you'll remember. Its far too important that you remember all the fabulous things that we've had and the incredible plans we've made for the future. You're not alone. We have no secrets. None of us." She glanced up at him, looking to find that he didn't find her worthless in his eyes. He looked at her full of strength and almost defiance of the past hurts. "I'm here because I choose to be. Not because I have to be. If I thought you were what you think you are, I wouldnt' be here. I am the evidence that you are not what you feel like you are. Got that?" She thought a moment and nodded.

Jess smiled and nodded to Khaat " we had all those days on the beach in Tuscany" she said and Jack stepped forward and spoke smiling at her as he held Jess around her waist lightly.

"All the boat trips we had and fishing tips," he said and Steven chuckled behind him as he drank his tea " ok, almost had" he said now grinning at the moment he almost caught a fish" Steven stood up and walked over to him placing his hand gently in Jack's shoulder as he spoke again.

" you mean when you almost caught a fish the rest of us did catch one" he said and chucked as Jess laughed a little and nodded her head lightly to agree but she stayed in Jacks arms.

"Stevens right, Jack was the only one on that trip that didn't catch a fish, he said it was because the could smell him, even under water" she now could not hold back and laughed as did they all.

Khaat listened to what they said about pleasant times in Italy. Brian had had her in Italy a day or so ago, but that was all she remembered. Brian had showed her photos of a place that he claimed they owned in Italy, but it meant little to her. Some of the photos looked like her, but it meant little when she had no memories to go with it.

"You can't be afraid to remember painful things," her father said. "Those things are in the past. They can't hurt you now. And, if you try to shut out the painful things, you'll also shut down the happy ones. Don't go rooting around in your head trying to find your memories, but when things come up, don't hide from them either. And if its confusing, let us know."

Steven stepped forward and sat facing her on his knees " hes right, I know you don't remember but for a while I was in a coma and like you when I came to my memories were scrambled for a time, I didn't know where my son John was, but it was when I didn't think about it that they came through, trust me if you stop trying to force them they will come back and any bad ones, we'll deal with them together." He said softly as he gave her a warm friendly smile. " Beside I owe you it, your the one who got me out of the coma and made me who I am today, a father with a family again and not the broken man I was when I first woke" he gave a sigh as he continued to explain "My first wife was killed in a dragon attack on our ranch and my son was kidnapped by the men who had set it all up, he was brain washed, but hes fine now thanks to you and Robert here, Hes actually doing well in Hogwarts school, along with Andrew, Roberts adopted son." He told her as he stood back up and moved to Cassidy who gently took his hand in her own.

She understood what he was trying to say to her. It felt a little like an overload of information with all he'd said about his past, but she focused on the overall point of it instead. Her father touched the side of her head and took away the pain that the flash of memory had brought to her.

"Better?" he asked. She nodded. "Enough worrying about what we think of you," he said. "We've told you the truth. There really is nothing that you can remember that we don't already know. We have no secrets. None of us. Just because it feels, right now, like news to you does not mean it is a surprise to us."

Michael brought her a mug and handed it to her. "Here. Try this. It really will help." She thought it smelled just a wee bit different. It looked like coffee and cream but it smelled like it had a tiny bit of some sort of alcohol.

"If you're going to make those, you'd better bring me one," Brian said, smelling the expensive brandy in the coffee. "Try it, Khaat. That ought to be perfectly lovely."

"Coming right up," Michael said. She tried it. It was delicious, and she realized Michael was considering her slightly rattled nerves. At the moment, she wasn't opposed to something to settle them a bit

Steven looked at Khaat and sighed "Sorry didn't mean to overload you" he said softly as he saw her touch her temples. He slowly moved back to sit beside the fire, watching Michael hand Khaat a cup of what looked like coffee and cream, but he smiled smelling the alcohol in the drink. He sat back as he saw Jess smile a little knowing he had only tried to help her a little with understanding what was happening to her. He also understood that Robert had helped him and she was in the best hands that ever could be in the wizarding world.

"She understands, Steven," Brian said. "And she appreciates it. I know it helps for her not to feel entirely alone."

Khaat wanted to know who the man was that she had seen. The man in her flashbacks. She didn't recall seeing him in any of the photos in their album. Maybe she needed to look again. She flipped through the book of sign language until she found the word for photo. She signed it.

"Photo?" Robert asked. "What photo?" he asked. She pointed to the sign language book. "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't get it." She was frustrated. There was no word in the book for album.

Steven nodded and smiled relived he had helped even a little for her. He noticed her gestures and picked up the album " is this what you want?" he asked placing it down on her knees and looked to Robert. as he backed away from them to stay stood not far from her. Cassidy brought him a cup of Irish coffee which he smiled and took gently from her. He could feel the heat of its contents warming his fingers a little and he placed it down on a table next to him. " you don't think she remembers Rob do you?" he asked worried as to how she would take the news.

"She knows about Rob," Brian said. "I haven't kept anything from her." He looked at Khaat. "Are you looking for a person or a place?" She pointed to him. "Me?" She shook her head. "A person then. A man?" She nodded. "What does he look like? Hair color? Anything?" She looked around and pointed to her father's dark jacket. "Dark hair?" She nodded. "That helps. We'll look."

They flipped through the album, page by page. But she didn't find the man's face in her photos. She shut the book, frustrated.

"Khaat," her father said. "There is one other way to do this. With your permission, I can take that memory, and your mother can look at it in her pensieve. I'm sure we can identify him." She looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. How could anyone take a memory? And if that were the case, could he put her lost ones back? Her mother went upstairs and came back with a large bowl of water.

"Its not painful," Brian said to her. "And it might help. We should try." Reluctantly she nodded. Robert drew out a very small blue memory thread from her. There wasn' much to it. It was tiny and fragile. He was protective over it as it dangled from the end of his wand. Kate knew that flashback would only last perhaps a second, if that. She let Robert drop the thread in the water, and she looked into the pensieve. When she looked up at them all again, her anger had been raised at what she had seen.

"No wonder he's not in the album," Kate said quietly. "He has no place in the memories we want to remember."

"Who is it?" Robert asked.

"Felix Barker," Kate said. Brian and Robert sighed heavily. Of all things for her to remember first she would have to remember his horrible crimes against her.

Steven looked wide eyed " since when does he come into this that.." he curbed his tongue wanting to call him very bad name under the sun but chose not to, mostly because of the sharp look Jess gave him and he chose not to say anything more.

" why would he be in her memories?" Jess asked 2 could he have hurt her?" she balled her fists at that thought but then chose to calm having no evidence that it was him only the thread to go by. " if he did do this so help me he will not need a healer he'll need an undertaker" Jack looked surprised at Jess and then at Kate.

" can you tell anything , I mean if he was involved in anyway?" he asked her.