Marriage is Murder

Jim watched them all and sat close to the fire he took out his pipe feeling he needed it this time and took a slow puff on it and sighed deeply he chuckled as Khaat said for Brian to ask her after a bottle or two of wine. But he could see in her eyes the pain she felt and tried to hide from them . He saw Brian draw it from her and was glad even if she did look heavy against Brian, He took his coffee from Alette and smiled as he drank it " good coffee Alette" he said and smiled now relaxing again but he knew he wouldn't fully until Khaat and Brian were back in their room sleeping safely.

Brian felt her shiver against him even with the beach towel. Alette spoke to Enzo in Italian, and the dog ran into the house and came back a moment later, dragging a white and light brown plaid wool blanket.

"Try something warmer," she told Brian. "The sea makes the night air a bit damp."

"Thank you," Brian said, taking the towel from Khaat and wrapping the blanket around her instead. He drew her back against him and wrapped his arm around her. "You want to go back, Khaat?" he asked.

"Not yet," she said, yawning. "I..dont want to go back into that again. Not yet."

"Honey," he kissed her temple. "I'm not talking about going into battle. Just the hotel." As soon as he spoke he felt one of her tears hit his neck. "What's the matter?" he asked softly.

"Everywhere we go its a battle! I'm tired," she said. "I'm tired." As hard as the words were for Brian to hear, the larger part of him was more deeply relieved than she knew. She'd carried this pressure for months and months, and she had tried to behave just like her father did--with his stic emotionless expression and resiliency. And now she was letting it go. Release. And for Brian, he was relieved to see it. Michael was equally relieved. It had been much too long in coming. She did not have to be her father. She did not have to measure up to the wizarding world's expectations of her. It was alright for her to be herself.

Jim watched Brian and Khaat he sighed hearing Khaat speaking to Brian softly he caught the glint of a tear on her cheek and looked to Michael with a silent " about time on his face " as he smiled at him. Sitting there he drink his coffee feeling it keep him warm in the now chilly night even the warm fire was losing its heat from the spray off the sea. " I'll make hot french roast when we get back and I suggest we all take hot showers to warm up" he said softly.

Michael just nodded back at Jim, pleased. As far as Michael was concerned, this was part of what they'd come there for.

"We should go soon," Michael said. Alette just smiled and snapped her fingers. All the gear they brought put itself away.

"Honey," Brian said to Khaat softly. "Its getting chilly. Let's go back to our room. It'll be alright." She nodded silently. He got her to her feet, and Enzo pressed tight against her, ready to work. Khaat went to remove the blanket.

"Keep it, Mon Petit," Alette smiled. "It is just a blanket. It will give Michael an excuse to come back before years and years go by again."

"Was I away that long? he smiled, laughing gently.

"You know you were," she said as they got up. He brushed Alette's cheek with his thumb. "I wont' stay away quite so long next time."

"You owe me a mountain climbing date anyway," she reminded him.

"So I do," he said. She kissed him on the cheek and they embraced warmly.

"Travel safe," she said softly.

"You stay out of trouble," he laughed. "Let's go," he told the others. When they had gathered around him, he apparated them back to the hotel room.

Jim stood and moved to Michael smiling as he embraced Alette and spoke fondly to her Jim could not help in notice some affection between the two of them and smiled as Michael aperated them back to the hotel room . He moved to the kitchen possibly knowing Khaat would be asleep soon with Brian but he still set the kettle on and made a fresh batch of coffee for them. Bringing a tray out he set it down on the table " ok Coffees ready if you want some " he said and looked at Michael. " I'm going to take a shower " he said and moved to the room he had there.

"Thank you," Michael said. He set Enzo off his harness and then went to clean up the beach gear.

"I'll help you with that," Brian said.

"No," Michael said. "thank you, but I'd much rather you took care of my goddaughter." He saw a couple of tears of fatigue on her face. Brian nodded and took her into the bedroom. When he got her in private, she broke down and hid her face in his chest and sobbed. He simply held her for a long moment. He finally gave in and quietly helped her into her nightgown and into bed. He laid on top of the bed for a long time, holding her until she fell asleep. He took a step he knew Robert would not approve of. He cast a spell to bind away her seers powers and her dreams so she could sleep. He made sure she was safely tucked in bed, kissed her lovingly and then came back out.

Michael saw the stress on Brian's face. He poured a shot of firewhiskey into Brian's coffee and took it over and handed it to him.

"Alright?" Michael asked.

"She's asleep," Brian said softly.

"Okay. Good. Now--its time you let Jim and I take care of you."

"What do you mean?"

"Junior," Michael looked at him straight in the eyes. "When are you going to give it up?"

"Never. Not as long as I breathe."

"That's not what I mean. I mean, when are you going to give up feeling inadequate? Feeling like you were responsible for every damned bad thing that's happened to her. You're the one thing thats's kept her alive and sane. You're the one spark of happiness she knows won't ever let her go. You can't control what anybody else says or does. You do, however, matter. Your love has kept her alive beyond every odd she's faced. When are you going to let go of feeling guilty that her life has been tough? It was tough long before she met you. Let it go, Son. You aren't her curse. You're her blessing."

Jim felt better after his shower and walked out catching the tail end of Michael's words with Brian " he's right you know , even I see that" he said a towel rested across his shoulder as he too placed some fire whiskey into his coffee " to ward off any cold " he told Michael smirking as he moved to sit close to them. " you not inadequate if you were do you think Robert would have made you his second or let you marry his daughter I know he would not, you're stronger than you think. " he said softly s he sipped his coffee feeling the warmth of the fire whiskey warm his insides.

"I know where your head goes," Michael said. "I can see it on your face. Every time someone slips through, you blame yourself. You think if you had somehow mysteriously known or could have been in all places at once you could have been some sort of impregnible barrier between her and whatever came up agaiinst her. It doesn't work like that. It truly doesn't. You know that. I hear you tell your men that. You don't blame them for being human. You grew up on that house. You know you truly just married into it.

"You know what? Khaat blamed herself when Rob left so badly that it damned near killed her."

"I know," Brian said.

"But it wasn't her. It was him. It took having you in her life to get her to get Rob out of her head and to get refocused. It's alright to love her. But believing you can keep her safe every moment of her life? That just doesn't happen with a Lupin. Get over it. Get anchored back in what you took as just everyday life when you lived with them--when it mostly rolled off. As it is, she's not the only victim here. You are too. But you do have the ability to heal yourself just by going back to what Robert taught you was right."

Jim sighed and listened he could not disagree with Micheal and so left him to talk to Brian he knew every word was right and he had to get back on the proverbial horse if not for himself but for his kids. Walking in he stood listening then nodded " hes right half pint" he said " we all have to carry on and deal with things as we go in life" he moved to pore another coffee/fire whiskey for himself finding it relaxing. " some of us smoke to get ride of the tension others play chess and some paint" he said smirking " not sure what Robert does, not sure he does anything, he thrives on it." he turned to face Brian and drank his coffee.

"He works," Brian shrugged. "He works on the farm. Does things by hand. Goes and works out. Works out a lot. Reads. Studies. Plays chess with Kate. But, yes, to an extent he does thrive on it. He concentrates on the strategy of it all. That's how he stays focused. I've watched him do it. I spar with him. I work out with him. He's in better shape than almost any other man his age I know." He drank his coffee. "I really, really do miss working out. Swimming today was the closest I've gotten in awhile."

"Why don't you go use the gym for an hour or so?" Michael said. He caught the instant resistance in Brian's eyes.

"No, I won't leave her. And Jim's here. I don't think she's going anywhere. Go. It will do you good."

"Yes," Brian agreed. "It certainly would. Okay. If you're sure."

"We insist," Michael laughed. Brian took them up on it and went down to the gym and worked out. He had such a need to drive himself that he found himself pushing himself with a vengence, as hard as he knew how to push. He worked until he was so tired, so soaking wet with sweat that he wasn't sure he could mange the walk back upstairs. He managed, but just barely. He wasn't sure his own legs were going to hold him anymore.

"Come on," Michael said quietly, going over to him. He put his arm under Brian's shoulder and took him into the bathroom and filled the tub for him. He helped him into the tub and left him to soak. He sent him in a tall glass of ice water, and Brian took a drink and put the glass beside the tub.

"He might have overdone it," Michael said to Jim, laughing slightly. "But I do think it was good for him. We might not know whether it helped him much or not until he gets a little sleep. He's too tired right now to know. But I'm glad he did it."