Checking out

Chase listened to Angus speak, and could feel something she hadn't expected stirring in her stomach. Anger. And not towards Grindelwald, on the contrary, she was angry at the Lupins for the first time in her life. She had gone from absolutely fawning over Khaat Lupin, wanting to get to know her, to meet her, to being part of their family, and spending months in their care as she got pregnant, and then she had run away from the family, gone with Calvin, ran away from Calvin, got kidnapped, tortured, nearly killed, found on the streets by Jack, saved by Calvin, then lost her mind at the site of Khaat and her family. It was THEIR fault she was messed up now. And Chase could feel herself feeling more and more sure of it as she sat there, listening to Angus speak.

"So it's your fault.." She whispered, and suddenly her eyes were on Angus's anger pouring out of her in her speech. "If it wasn't for your family... I wouldn't be here right now! I'd be beautiful, and sane! Me and Calvin would live happily ever after.. but no.. you're family has to go and upset the regime.. so they concentrate on ME, because you can't bring yourself to saving me before it's to late! I got kidnapped because of Khaat, I got abused because of your family! When will it stop! I just. want. to. be. normal." She glared at Angus, and found herself moving from the table, and standing up shakily, Albus tucked under her chin.

"Why do you have to make everything harder for yourselves?! Turn yourself in! Stop torturing people who are innocent! It's because of YOU that the world isn't happy right now, not Grindelwald, not anyone else, in case you haven't noticed, things are going FINE with him in charge, I read the newspapers, I know what's going on! I've heard stories from friends who came and visited me! The only reason people are getting hurt is because they are standing up for YOU... if you weren't in the way, no one would get hurt, and I could go back to living my life! I could pretend to be happy, knowing that your family caused me to be Abused in St. Mungos, caused me to be kidnapped by Felix Barker. I didn't want any of it! I tried to get away! And you follow me around.. Just.. leave me alone all right?" She grabbed her bags and glared at him. "I don't want any protection spells, I don't want your help, Calvin will be here soon to pick me up, and then I'll be fine, I'll stay out of your life, you stay out of mine!" Chase stood there angrily, Albus caught on to her distress and realized it was because of Angus, and hissed loudly at Angus, glaring at him as much as Chase was. Chase hugged Albus closer to her and turned on her heel.

"I don't need your help, I don't need anyone's help.. if you just forgot I existed, it would make ME as a person happier! Okay?" She said with her back still turned as she picked up her stuff. "I'm going now.. don't follow me... or I'll call the guards, and have them take you to Grindelwald for questioning..." She said shooting him a dirty glare before she pulled her bags out of the room and went back to the waiting area to wait for Calvin.

Angus stepped out into the hallway, his own anger now bristled. "Then I'll tell Khaat she was all wrong about you. I'll tell her you really arent' woman enough after all. Sad, because she thought you were. So did I. But you really are still a child, aren't you? Go right back and live in Wonderland if that's what you want, Alice. Do be good enough, though to surrender your portkey to me right now," Angus held out his hand for the coin that gave Chase passage to Khaat's home. If Chase was done, then so be it. Chase was done, giving them notice. He had no responsibilities to her anymore then. And he didn't want to care either. He flicked his wand at the cat to silence it. It would wear off in minutes.

"You knew exactly who the Lupins were when you got involved," he said bitterly. "Wake up and smell the coffee. You knew the risks, and you chose them. What happened to you was entirely Barker's f***ing fault. Not Khaat's, Robert's, Brian's or mine. Khaat has never done anything but treat you well--except perhaps shelter you from a lot of horseshit you were too fragile to face. She did it because she loved you. She believed you were strong enough to take it, but she didn't want any more on your plate than necessary. Its the same thing as you did with Eli. You knew exactly what you were getting into with him too, but you didn't use your head there, did you? Own some responsibility for your own choices, Child. That's what adulthood is all about. THAT"S when you'll be normal. And not one moment before. Now--give me that portkey. This instant."

Chase froze on the spot when he started to talk to her as she left. She could feel her body shaking hard now that he was angry at her. She had always liked Angus, a lot, he was the nicest person ever, and being on the other end of his hate, it sucked. A lot.. Chase could feel tears pooling in her eyes. She wasn't well enough for this.. she just wasn't, she had just been discharged, and now she was being yelled at, called a child, and being told to give back the portkey. Chase stood with her back to him for a long moment, and then slowly turned to face him, suddenly he silenced her cat, and she glared at him. "What did you... how dare you!" She whispered, and then felt the tears in her eyes spill over onto her cheeks.

"Don't you understand Angus?" She asked, leaving her stuff in the hallway and going back to him, standing inches from him, anger, sadness, and fear on her face. It was true, she was afraid of Angus now, she was obviously suffering now from something besides Felix Barker being inside her head, no.. she was suffering from brainwash that had happened while her defenses were done while she was getting well. "I just want what's best for my baby... and right now.. The Lupins aren't it! Grindelwald took over, and it's your family right now that is my threat... I love Khaat, I love your family.. and you were the best friend I've ever had.. but right now.. you aren't what's best for me." Chase wiped her eyes and moved back to her bags, digging out the portkey and handing it over to him. "Take it... I'm.. I'm sorry." She whispered, and turned around away from him, picking her stuff back up.

"I just want to be happy Angus.. I want... I want to just.. go on with my life, and not deal with the bigger picture... Yes, I am still a child Angus.. I'm only 18 years old... I had a child at 17, and no family at all when I was 16... I have a lot of growing up to do.. and I wish you would see that as I do.. I just want to grow up.. and it's hard to do that when no one is there to help..." Chase stared at her bags, and then glanced back at Angus. "I'm sorry." She whispered, her voice cracking as she spun around and walked as fast as her body would allow her too down the hallway.

He took the portkey and apparated right in front of her.

"Let's get one thing straight," he said quieter, trying to reel in his anger. And he was trying hard. A part of him was as suckered into always wanting to be there for Chase, just like Khaat and Brian and Robert were suckered into that feeling. He hated caring when someone had stopped caring about him and the family he so loved with all he had. And he loved Chase. He felt like he was her big brother and right now it hurt when she was dishing out such venom. And at her words that she still loved them all, it made his wound from her feel even bigger and deeper, like she was twisting the knife she'd thrust into his spirit.

"You weren't alone when you had your daughter any more than you chose to be. I would have been there. So would Khaat. She's done nothing to you except to try to be a family to you. She is a damned good stepmother and guardian to you and you know it. You still arent' thinking. Why do you think Khaat didn't take you off to the safehouse with her? Because it uproots you from Calvin and the other people that you love. She didn't want that for you. If she had known for even the slightest thought that you were in trouble, she'd have come. She'd have walked into Hell itself for you. So would Robert and Brian. And so would I. So don't say you don't have family. You have a family that loves you more than you can possibly imagine. You're choosing to walk away from us right now, and there isn't a damned thing I can do about it because I know how Khaat thinks. When Eli got his brain all buggered up and wandered back to Viktor and broke her heart, she let him go. Fortunately for both of them, they worked it out. She wont' force one person to be involved with her who doesn't want to be there. She won't force you either.

"If you do this, if this is really what you want, she wont' intrude into your life again except if, by law, she has to be there for some function as your guardian. Or, to keep the peace and to keep you both from stabbing each other in the heart--I'll make her give your guardianship to me.

"But do just one thing for youself. Refresh yourselff on your magical history about Gellert Grindlewald. If you have the same text I had, its around chapter 11, I think. And, no, the book wasn't written by anyone even remotely acquainted with the Lupins. The author was one of the most reputable wizard historians ever to grace our world. Even Grindlewald's closest friend, Albus Dumbledore, found out who and what he was. Why else do you think they could never have a serious relationship again? Read up again on who he really was and what he really did. Talk to Michael Tremaine. He's a professor at Hogwarts right now. I bet you didnt know that Barker works for Grindlewald, did you? Its amazing what a man like Michael can find out. Gellert Grindlewald could very well be endorsing the torture of other women just like you right this moment. If you were still a student there, he might be authorizing it. He's not the saint you think he is. And he might just very well authorize it because you work at the ministry and for no other reason. It wouldn't take your connection to the Lupins for him to want you. You work for the ministry, and that means right now you work for him.. He's a paranoid crackpot, and he's not above using torture to find out who will be loyal to him and who wont'. If you dont want my help, then that silly cat isn't going to protect you for one single second. I'd keep Calvin closer to you if you're going it alone.

"We know some of the faces that are aligned with Grindlewald right now, and you know what? They're the most heinous of the Death Eaters our world has ever known since Voldemort. You want me to give you the list that we know? Seriously? These aren't the saintly people you're putting your trust in. Barker brainwashed you. You arent' insane. You never were. You were brainwashed, plain and simple. If you do want a normal life again, then investigate it for yourself. Find out who is good and who is evil. Find out who they hang with. All this hatred you're carrying. That's not you. Thats not the real Chase. I know you. You're echoing the words and the thoughts and the feelings that you were programmed by someone else to respond with. You need to stop allowing those brainwashed thoughts and feelings and behaviors to dictate to you how you're going to live your life. If you don't, you might as well stil be with Barker because you're still as much a prisoner to him as you were when he really did have you.

"And just for the record, you aren't alone now except thats what you're saying you want. We want to be there for you. You're the one who hates us. Not the other way around. I still care every bit as much as I ever did. You're the one who said you wanted to be done with me. I never said I wanted to be done with you. Did I? Did I ever say that? Even one time? Did I?"

Chase didn't want to listen. She didn't want to hear the words he spoke to her, knowing it was true, and not wanting to believe it. She knew he loved her, and she knew that if she didn't get away from him, she'd be pulled back into their family, and then she would forever be chased by the people who wanted to hurt her the most. She was in danger of speaking to Elijah, in danger of being in the areas she just wanted to avoid, and now... now he was pulling her into it again, and she was struggling. It wasn't the same feeling as when she had wanted to kill Khaat, no, it was much worse then that, because then, she had at least been fighting it, here, she believed it whole heartedly, and it scared her to think he might make her think something which she had set her heart on.

He spoke reasonably though, the men that Grindelwald was with... they were bad people, Felix Barker, Zada Forbes, other people who were really bad, who did bad things, and didn't care that they were bad. Chase could feel tears building up in her eyes. "You didn't say it.. No.." She whispered, and stared up at him, wanting anything but to believe him right then. "Angus." She whispered, and then let her eyes meet his, and she let out a soft whimper. "I don't want to be hurt anymore..." She whispered staring up at him. "I just don't want it.. look at me Angus.. just LOOK at me for once, and not into my eyes, or at me like a brother... look at me and see me like everyone else on the street does. Do you know what I hear when I walk down the hallway? There's the girl who went insane, there's the girl who got kidnapped, look at her scars, I hate it!" She said backing away from Angus and nearly hitting her bag, before she turned around and picked up Albus, holding him to her chest. "Please.. I want to believe you! But I'm so confused.. in case you didn't notice, I got discharged today.. after going through a mental breakdown! I'm not thinking straight!"

"I know that's what it feels like," he said. "But the people who give you those looks arent' worth a fraction of second of your energy. You have better things and more important things to think about than what other people might think. You can't control what anybody else thinks anyway. Nobody can. The people who love you know the difference. And that's all you should be thinking about. Whoever you decide you want those people to be.

"You're not confused because you were here. You're confused because someone else wanted you to be, and was willing to do whatever it took to cause you to stop being so sure of what you've always known. To hurt you to the point where you could do nothing else but change your thoughts just to stay alive. Thats not what anyone does who truly cares about another human being.

"It sounds to me like what you want is some peace of mind again. So go find it. Go fix yourself up--not because anyone else expects it, but because it makes you feel more secure with yourself. Go find your home and your friends and your daughter. Get back into a normal life. And if what you really want is for your family to have nothing more to do with you, then so be it. But lets just keep the facts straight on that, shall we? You're the one who makes that choice. Not us. We wont' ever make that choice. And you know that. I know you do."

Chase wiped her eyes, and looked at Angus again, she didn't know what to think anymore, she didn't know who to believe, or what to believe. She just wanted to go home and sleep in her bed, and hug Calvin, and see her baby again. Chase stood there, lost and confused, her eyes darting around the hallway, her hand gripping her bag and her other holding Albus below her chin, who was furiously trying to hiss at Angus but the silencing charm was still in affect, and he couldn't make a noise. Chase hugged him, and could feel the panic starting to rise like bile in her throat, she wanted to run away, wanted to scream, to hide, to do something besides stand there and stare at Angus. "Please..." She whispered, her eyes darting around him, but never actually looking at him.

"I just wanna go home." She whispered, the choked sound of someone trying not to cry was what her voice came out as, and she hated herself for it. The fear, the anger, the confusion. It was to much for her, and she didn't know what to do anymore. "I want to believe you.. I just.. I just.. I mean..." She started to stammer, and that automatically raised a red flag in her own brain. "I'm sorry Angus.. you just. .startled me.. and I just.. I just want to.. go home.. and see my baby.. and... and.. Calvin.." She stammered and backed away again, pressing her back against the wall and taking in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. If the nurses saw her in breakdown mode again, it was a surefire way to end up in that little room again, chained to her bed as her mind and body spiraled out of control. "Stop it.. just.. stop it okay? I just need to rest.. It's to early for this." She looked up at him and wished he would understand. She was still fragile, fragile and in pain, and she felt trapped, which was a bad feeling to feel for someone who seriously just wanted out of the hospital, after actually being trapped for so long.

Angus saw a man dressed in healers' robes coming down the hallway, but he also clearly saw the Death Eater signet ring on his hand. The man was heading straight for Chase. Angus moved behind Chase and stood deliberately between her and the healer.

"Who allowed Ms. Moor from her room?" the healer demanded. "I told you I wasn't releasing her yet!" The man came towards Chase, and Angus reacted. He grabbed hold of the healer and slammed him into the wall, thrusting his wand right into the man's midsection.

"So you're the little weasel who caused all this damage!" Angus was furious. "You're the one who defied Robert's orders and..."

"Robert Lupin? You've got to be kidding," the man laughed bitterly. "He's nothing compared to Grindlewald! I'm good at my job, whoever you are."

"And what exactly is your job, Mate?" he demanded.

"I kill anyone who isn't sworn to the allegience of Gellert Grindlewald. And I kill them just one little piece at a time," he laughed. "At my own pace."

"Why her?" Angus demanded.

"Her? Why not her? The psych ward is full of young impressionables. Lupin was only interested in 'curing' them. But that isnt' in the interest of the greater good. Gellert Grindlewald needs their complete and total allegiance."

"You mean blind allegience. As in brainwashing," Angus said.

"You say tomato, and I say tomato," he shrugged carelessly.

"Here's your culprit, Chase," Angus said. "Here's the man who ordered your so called treatment here. Incarcerous!" He bound the man in magical chains. "Get it straight, Mate. Your little operation is over. And you will never, ever touch Chase Moor again. You got that?" The man laughed evilly.

"That's really of no consequence. I have plenty of others. Like Lupin's sainted daughter. I have a room all warmed up for her. Oh, and perhaps her mother? Or her fiance? Believe me, I can always create more rooms. Chase wont' mind, will you, darling? You hate the Lupins, don't you, Sweetheart? You know what's best for you and for Katie. Oh, and lets not forget Calvin. We wouldn't want anything to happen to sweet spineless Calvin, would we?"

"Shut up," Angus said. "Langlock!" he enchanted the man's tongue to stick to the roof of his mouth so that there would be no more words from.him. "Petrificuls Totalus," Angus said. The man fell like a stone to the floor, completely paralyzed. Angus looked up at Chase. "Believe me, he's not going to ever lay his hands on you ever again."

Chase saw the man who had given her her meals, and helped her to the bathroom, and talked to her lifeless form come down the hall, and her heart sped up a bit. But suddenly he was slammed against the wall, and Chase yelled out loudly. "No! No! Don't touch him!" She cried out, standing completely still and watching Angus hurt the man who had helped her. "No! He didn't hurt me! I don't know.. I don't know what you are saying.. leave him alone!" She cried out, tears now clinging to her cheeks, as she held Albus to her chest. "Stop it Angus, please!" Chase whispered, going to him and holding onto his arm, staring down at the immobile man. "Let him up! Now! He didn't do anything wrong! He's been kind to me! He spoke to me... He... he was nice to me! I don't know what you're talking about Angus please! Let him up!" Chase yelled out, staring up at him, tears on her face.

"He's a nice man! He hasn't hurt anyone! He didn't hurt me... he.. he.. he's playing with you, that's what he's doing... he likes to joke a lot.. and he... he.." Chase was stammering around again, and she crouched on the floor next to the man. "please.. let him up Angus.. please. "She whispered, staring up at him. "He didn't hurt me.. he didn't! He just told me how good I've been doing.. and.. and... complimented me when I brushed my hair, he's nice! He's not mean! He's not... he didn't do anything wrong. "Chase said glaring up at Angus, suddenly angry and ready to fight for it. "He didn't do anything! Let him go!" She demanded, fury making her hair stand up slightly.

"Sorry, Love," he said, realizing how totally confused and brainwashed she really was. "But I dont' work for you. I can't allow Dark Arts followers to take over this hospital. I really cant. Look. Really look." He showed her the Death Eater signet ring on the man's hand. "That symbol has been the symbol for the Death Eaters since Voldemort's days." He sighed and sat down on the floor leaning against the wall. He was still frustrated. She was so blind. So very blind. And there was nothing he could do. He changed the man into a bug, and in a fraction of a second the healer had become a black leech. Angus accio'd a specimen bottle and deposited the leech into the bottle and put on the cap and put the bottle in his bag.

"Go on," he said to her softly. "You've made up your mind, then. Perhaps choosing the Dark Arts over anyone who loves you might keep you safe for awhile. I wish you luck. Stay safe going home, won't you?" He didn't figure he would ever see Chase again now. She was just too far gone. There was no rhyme or reason with her. And Angus wasn't able to fight her against herself. It wasn't his battle. Whether she realized it or not, he knew he had just saved her life.

"Hell," he cursed. He had to push it out of his mind that she didn't know and therefore didn't care. He hoisted himself to his feet tiredly. He really wanted to stop bleeding all over the place. And he wanted a glass of firewhiskey. He looked back at her.

"Good luck with your life. I hope you get what you want out of it--whatever that is. I'll tell your family to stay away from you. You wont' have to worry about us again." He shouldered his bag of fresh supplies and started down the hallway. As he neared the nurses' station, Hannah came onto the floor, out of the elevators, and saw Angus there. She went to him quickly.

"Angus!" Hannah said, putting herself underneath him. "You can't expect me to let you go without patching you up. You're going to bleed out by the looks of it."

"You're a sweetheart," Angus said softly, kissing the top of her head. "But I can't stay here anymore. I have to go. I'll be alright to go home. I promise."

"Angus..." she began. Angus let her go. He cast one last glance at Chase, and turned away. He didnt' have it in him to hurt anymore because she chose to turn against him. He brushed Hannah's cheek as she protested and walked slowly down the hallway towards the exit.