Sand and Snow

"I'll see you in the morning, then. Robert is coming back to stay to get us through this," Brian said. He went upstairs and went to bed. They didn't speak. Khaat's potions were keeping her from being able to shed any of the tears that he knew were locked inside. He brushed her hair and as he did, he cast a sleep spell on her, wanting her to rest before the fires of hell rained down on her.

His own sleep was spotty, restless. He was awake off and on, needing to keep a sharp eye on her. By sunrise, the fever had started. Before she woke. Her skin was flushed. She was hot. And so it began. He got up, showered, shaved, dressed, and went without his workout--the first in a very long time. He just didn't go. He couldn't be moved from her.

She was cold. She started to get restless in her sleep, and it woke her, shivering. "Its just the fever," Brian reassured her gently. He didn't ask. He got out another lightweight blanket and added it to the bed for ehr. He wasn't going to add too much , but another blanket might feel good. He watched her huddle under it and curl up in a little uncomforble ball. He was moved to pity. He brushed her hair and felt her cheek and her forehead. "Can I get you anything?" he asked. She shook her head slightly, closed her eyes, and tried to go back to sleep. "I'm just going for a cup of coffee. I'll be right back. I promise."

He went downstairs, smelling fresh morning coffee and some sort of scones baking in the oven. Angus was a real asset to them. He was glad he'd brought him. He was also glad Steven and Cassidy were here. He felt very alone. He needed companionship. He needed to know he wasn't a screwup. And he was glad Robert was here. He was depending on Robert's knowledge to help Khaat survive. Brian couldnt' even fathom his life now without her. It just wasn't even in his thinking anymore. But first, coffee.

Cassidy watched Steven leave and lay quiet slowly die drifted asleep waking to foot steps taking out her wand she lent over the back of the couch relaxing when she saw it was only Brian and sat back down.

Steven walked into the ranch house humming and smiling to himself he was feeling pretty good with himself his mind now on other things as he smiled to Brian "Hi Brian , Khaat any better today?" he asked knowing he'd found out about the potions and flipped while he'd been on his day off enjoying the company of Delilah his new girlfriend and Dylan her son that he now felt father like to.

He moved to the kitchen and pored a coffee while smiling and giving a slightly humming happy for once in his life. He moved to sit down and blew across his coffee "I had a perfect night last night , we talked she coked a perfect meal , Dylan was very hansom in his suit and Delilah..." he grinned "she was so beautiful" his face lit up when he spoke of her.

"Well, we just have gotten started at this," Brian said. Angus came out of the kitchen and handed him a mug of coffee. "Thank you, Angus. She's just started with the fever. I asked her if she wanted anything, but I think she just wants to try to sleep. We've got a long, long way to go. I'm glad you had a good evening, Steven." He wasn't sure who had watched the house if Steven had been gone all night out on a date, though. That had not been his request. he had asked that Steven and Cassidy stay and watch the house so Brian could sleep--so that he could fight this battle alongside Khaat. He said nothing, though. Steven had disobeyed his orders, but that was last night. Brian didnt have it in him to deal with that today. He'd have to let this one go.

Robert came downstairs a few minutes later. Angus quickly brought him a cup of cinnamon tea. "Good morning, Robert," Angus said.

"Thank you," Robert said. He looked at Brian. He knew Brian--inside and out. Brian was afraid. And he had good right to be. "She's alright, Brian. She's half asleep, half awake. It makes it easier to deal with the fever. Let her rest, Son. I've got this for now." He laid his hand on Brian's shoulder supportively. "Did you work out? I missed you there if you did."

"No," Brian said quietly.

"You will go work out after breakfast," Robert ordered. "That's not a request."

"Yes, Sir," Brian answered automatically.

Steven picked up on the tension and groaned he had not returned there for not following orders he turned to give his apology but on seeing Robert kept quiet walking into the living room he placed a cup of coffee for Cassidy down where she slept on the couch .

"you could have gone to bed" he said and she opened an eye at him "thought I did , and what happened to you last night , nothing happened but still we have to be here just in case "she said scolding him like he was a small boy.

"I had something to do I promised some one i would do something and I did " was all he said and sat down "I don't brake my promises Cassie " he sipped his coffee

Brian was sorely tempted to defend Cassidy by telling Steven that at least she was onshift when she was assigned to be and hadn't missed her shift. He resisted. He stayed silent. Brian mentally was regearing. If Steven was already moving onto another woman, then Brian already knew by experience Steven's head was not in the game. He'd deliberately missed a shift for a date--to be out all night with a woman. And he had planned to be out with her. Missing his shift had been a premeditated act. For Brian, that hurt. Made him feel more alone.

"Hey," Angus called, "Breakfast."

"Thank you," Brian said. He did what Angus did not expect. He picked up a small plate and put two scones on it, picked up his coffee cup and went back upstairs. He could feel eyes on him as he went upstairs.

"Let him go," Robert said to them. He went over to the breakfast table. "It looks good, Angus. Thank you." Just then Archangel flew in with a note and dropped it almost in Robert's plate. Robert laughed. "That important, is it? Okay, Boy." He took the envelope and gave Archangel a bit of a piece of meat from his breakfast plate. He opened the envelope and read it. He sighed heavily. "Its a note from my secretary. Khaat rewrote her will last night and refiled it. It appears she's given everything she owns to Brian if something happens to her, including full custody of her girls and the guardianship of all the kids she takes care of. It seems she really believes she wasn't going to survive this."

Cassidy walked in and stood next to Angus as Brian rad it "good bout time " she said "though why now did she think she was that close to death she felt she had to get her affairs in order ?" she asked looking at them both then picked up a scone "nice scones " she said as she stood eating it in front of them "what, I like scones, I have a sweet tooth " she said and finished downing a generous helping of her coffee.

"I think it scared her far more than she let on that she dropped Abbey yesterday," Angus said. "I've seen how much she loves that child, and I saw something in her eyes that I haven't seen since she got back from Barker the first time. I saw true horror in her eyes. I think she realized yesterday she dropped her because she no longer has the strength to pick her up and carry her. I think it registered with her that she was more affected by the potion than she knew. I think it was why she packed that bag yesterday."

"Packed a bag?" Robert echoed, eating. "Where the deuce was she to go with no bloody magic?"

"It seems she must have packed before she remembered she couldn't flick a wand or use a portkey if her life depended upon it."

"Most likely. You all realize that keeping Brian together is going to be a job in itself, right? Truth be told, he's as frightened as she is, and feeling abandoned, alone, wounded, and a hundred other things. Thats' going to take awhile to work through for him--especially why she didnt' trust him to tell him. He feels betrayed, and I can't blame him. But I don't seem him able to walk away from her either."

she looked back at Steven and snuck a second scone and chuckled "I just can't resist " she said to her self and grinned as she stood back and sighed "I got nothing and no where to be " she lent back on the counter ", ow damn this dance thing I'm kinda date less " she said and took another bite of her scone but shrug her shoulders .and walked to look at Robert "so what's the next order sir?" she asked still holding the scone in her hand.

"The idea behind the dance is to go and participate in the date auction. Let people bid for a night out with one another," Robert told her. "Its one time its alright to go alone. As far as orders go, the best you can do for me is to keep my family safe. Help take care of my granddaughters. Keep the house going. If you guys can motivate Brian to go work out, that would be a huge help. He's just about ready to explode. He needs to go wear himself out. Any of you feel up to the task? I'd go do it myself, but someone needs to take care of Khaat because this isn't going to be pretty."

It had been 4 nights since Brian had slept. It had been a long journey for Khaat away from the potion that she had used to numb away all the horrors that still dwelt in her mind. It wasn't that Brian didn't understand her need to numb herself. He did. He got that part. He did not understand the part about her distance from him in the process or the secrecy.

And even when the detox set in, she hadn't made a sound. Not a a syllable, not a groan. Nothing. From what he knew he could tell she knew what she had done and was either facing the consequences as stoically as she knew how, or she had shut down and didn't feel anything. She hadn't asked for a thing. Hadn't accepted anything. Had stayed entirely silent, and the deeper the detox had gotten, the more distant she had become. When the fever raged its worst, he wasn't sure she was connecting with him at all. She didn't seem phased by the stomach problems or the congestion or the sneezing, or the rest of it. For Brian, her behavior had been keen insight on just how she had managed to survive Barker. He had witnessed something he did not think he would ever see--and now he wasn't sure he would have ever wanted to see it, given the choice. But he understood her and the very secret of her strength in a whole new way. The odd thing about it was that the very secret of her vulnerability lay right up against that.

When she slept, he often had had to check her breathing and her pulse to be sure she was still alive. And while it all played out, he didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't leave her--except if Robert shoved him out to shower. Robert had moved in temporarily to help. He forced Brian every so often to shower. Brian hadn't taken the time to shave. He hadn't been able to leave her.

And he had just checked on her again. There was still a pulse, but he couldn't see if she was breathing or not unless he laid his hand on her chest. He had gotten a cup of coffee and had gone back to the sitting area in the bedroom. His eyes burned from exhaustion. He sat down on the sofa, sipped the extra strong coffee and looked out over the estate, watching the sun start to creep above the eastward horizon. Another day was dawning. His eyes fluttered shut without his knowledge.

And then a hand very gently touched his forehead while another took the cup from his hand. He woke to see Robert there. Robert sat beside him on the sofa. "Brian," Robert said, clearly a man with something on his mind. "She's asleep. You can't go forever without sleep."

"I can't leave her. She needs to know I"m still here," Brian said.

"She does. She will. It may take her awhile to make peace with herself, and she's going to want you to be there. I want you to be ready and up for it."

"I am."

"No. You're not." He gently brushed Brian's hair, a gesture he hadn't done since Brian had been a small boy. "Son," his voice was gentle. "I'm right here. Let go. Let go of her and give her to me. I won't let anything happen to her if you sleep. I swear. She's mine too." Brian was silent for a long moment, overwhelmed. Robert folded him into him in a warm, comforting embrace. Brian could again feel Robert's immense strength and for right now it felt so different from his own. "Go to bed, Brian. Get some sleep. Then do us all a favor, would you?"

"What's that?" Brian frowned.

"Shave," Robert smiled. That made Brian smile.

"You won't leave her?"

"You have my word," Robert said seriously.

"Alright," Brian said, getting up. He got a change of clothes and went to a guest room and allowed himself to go to bed, and finally, to sleep.