Khaat wished she had the courage to talk to him. She wished she could bring herself to say the words. She went down to his office and drew out some of the legal papers she kept there and filled them out and authorized them. She needed them on file. Just in case. Then she went back upstairs, put her winter jacket on and went to the barn. She found Archangel there, settling in for a nap. He woke when he heard her coming, and he looked at her. She stroked him, and he nuzzled her. It was as if he sensed her sadness. He had always been able to figure her out. Always.
"Take this to the Ministry. Drop it off at my office so that my clerk files it. You know where to go," she told him. He made a small chirping like noise that was a quiet acknowledgement. She petted him again. "Thank you," she said softly. He nuzzled her.
"Khaat?" It was Angus. "You shouldn't be out here alone. You heard your father. You took a hard hit today."
"Angus, could you do me a favor?" she asked.
"If I can. What's on your mind?"
"I want to go see Remus."
"What?"
"I want to visit Remus. Please."
"Oh. That's a long way to his grave. You have a portkey?"
"In my drawer. There is a black sock of Rob's. It has a tan argyle pattern. Thats the one."
"I'll be back." He apparated out and returned with the sock. He took her there, and she went to Remus's grave and brushed off the snow and pulled away the dead weeds. She knelt there beside the tombstone and just sat, wishing she could talk to him, find out what he would tell her.
"Khaat," Angus said. "Robert told me once, in passing, that this was a place you went if you thought the world was just getting too hard. What's going on?"
"I just miss Remus," she said softly.
"You'll never find your answers with the dead. Come back and find them with the living," he told her gently. She didn't move. He stroked her hair gently. "Come on. You're tired and hurting and you don't feel well. Take the night off. Curl up in bed with a good book, and I'll bring you some cocoa."
"My mothers?"
"Is there any other?"
"Alright," she agreed. He smiled, kissed her forehead, got her to her feet and apparated them back inside the house.