Sand and Snow

Cassidy didn't awsner but stood up and stepped back seeing steven shake his head saying he'd gone to bed as Angus had sujested and fallen asleep as she folded her arms across her chest. it was then she realised she could have been the reason Khaat left but then she shook her head the negativity had been there befor she'd gone down to the gym. Cassidy looked at Brian face seriose as she spoke.

"she got the wrong idea in her head about Angus and I, I could see it in her eyes, a woman knows the look , she thought I was flirting with him and I was not " she said looking at him "all i was trying to do was make a freind, just like she sugested but I guess thats impossible around here. " she said and turned to walk out the door glancing at angus "Sorry " was all she said .

Brian sighed heavily. Cassidy believed that, without being a seer, she was a mind reader? And she hd clearly gotten upset last night about what she believe dKhaat had been thinking. Whether Cassidy had been flirting with Angus or not was not the issue here at all. The issue was that Cassidy had gotten ticky apparently not even because of a thought she knew Khaat had,but rather, she was getting angry for a thought she believed Khaat was thinking.

And it didn't sound as if Khaat had said anything. It sounded like Cassidy hadn't given Khaat the chance or that either of them had tried to talk anything out. Cassidy had somehow gotten angry, and Khaat had picked up on it or seen it, one or the other.

And then Brian saw where Khaat's brain had gone. She had needed distance. She did not believe that any woman was capable of working for her. And Khaat was feeling very alone. It had started when Ronata had fallen apart. And she was directly responsible for Jess's falling apart and for a good strong friendship that just didn't exist anymore. Khaat believed that being around her destroyed lives. And she was feeling that people were better without her. He could see clearly where her thoughts were going.

The more he thought, the more he understood. "I know where she is," he said softly. "I'm going to go talk to her and maybe take her to breakfast and get her out of the house. Cassidy has until dinner time tonight to get her act together. She is not a seer. She does not have the right whatsoever to act out because of what she thinks someone else is thinking. I depend on Khaat's bodyguards to be mature, and that was immensely immature. One of you needs to get her the message. Either you do it as the Caretaker of the estate, Angus. Or, Steven, you do it as her partner. Either she gets it together, or she gets out. Its very simple." He picked up his winter coat, put it on, picked up his crutches, and apparated out.

Cassidy stood out side the door and listened to every word each like a knife digging into her heart she moved to her bed room and grabbed a bag throwing things into it she realized where would she go, she had nobody. She thought she had a family here now she realized it was just a job, nothing more, she still lacked a family to call her own the more she tought about it the more she fought her own fears of remaining alone all her life and feeling like she had been cursed that anything good would crumble at her touch everytime , her freind taken and abused now this her life now threataning to returning to how it once was. She sat on the bed looking at the floor . She wanted out she wanted a life and her curse lifted .

"Resigning already?" Angus asked, standing in her doorway. "And I thought you were stronger than this. You certainly can't be doing this because of your love of family because running isn't generally what family does. Especially when someone else is in trouble. And certainly no bodyguard runs out when their client is in trouble.

"What's this about? Really? Did someone say something that offended you? If they did, I certainly don't remember of hearing it, and as of dinner last night, as far as I knew everything was fine. And as far as I knew, I was in the same room you were in for the most part all evening. So unless something happened after we all went to bed, besides Khaat going out for a bit by herself, I really don't get it. And no, I'm not condoning her going off by herself. Not at all. But I understand that from her. I've known her longer. You--I don't get you. What's the issue?"

Cassidy looked up at him and shook her head "had to be you didn't it " she said softly and stood up " I was, but not any more , thats giving in and I don't give in " she said unpacked her thing s and turned back to him as he spoke again . she walked over to him confidently. "no, you don't, I tried making freinds, learning new things as Khaat sugested but what happens ..." she folded her arms across her chest " Khaat looks at me like im making a play for you and is that so wrong, is it , that some one should want to be freinds with youe , who happens to like cooking too, now that i know I can " she turned her back to him

"Okay, so listen to what you just said. First, you've decided not to run. Good. Thats a start. Second, we both agree I don't get you. Third, Khaat was right that you do need to make friends and try new things, and I"m glad you are. Fourth--I don't know that its so wrong to make a play if you really feel you need to, but it doesn't make me like you any more than when you just be yourself. You don't neeed to work so hard at it. Yes, we have some common interests,and I'm guessing we have a lot more than you think. But you truly do just need to be yourself. Look, I don't know about you, but I've had a couple of romances go wrong, and I don't need it to happen again.

"To be honest, Khaat and Brian have the sort of relationship that I would like to have with somone. An equal partner in my relationship. Someone who has been my very best friend before romance even entered the picture. Someone that hasn't pushed things and has taken the time to get to know me and let me get to know her. I know its a bit unconventional, but thats what I want. I don't want to go leaping into a romance with anybody. I'm not opposed to being friends. I would like that. But if romance comes, then, lets let it come in its own time. Alright? And in the meantime, stop being so defensive about it. Stop acting like you have one foot out the door. Khaat and Brian have never kicked anybody out. Never. Its not in their makeup.

"You don't have any idea how many kids Khaat is the guardian for, do you? They come back and walk right in. And they should. Its their home. It bugged you that her parents do that. Well, so does anybody else who's part of their circle. Anybody who is part of the circle is family. Lose the insecurity. It does you no big service. Now--any other questions?"

Cassidy listened to him as looked over her shoulder at him " I know how many lots I have read about them and kept tabs on them why do you think i did what I did , my freind was taken by burke and sold to a man who beat her and raped her regularly , i went in and got her out, I won't tell you what i had to do just to get close to her because you wouldn't like it , since that day i have done nothing but drag children out of hell holes and brothels, untill I came here, they showed me a diferant way , organised. " she looked at him "and as for Robert and Kate poping in they just made me jump a little thats all, nothing else , because i was not use to it , now im all right " she said "but i am not a quiter , and this is part of who I am , the other part im not sure I can get back "

"I'm not making any judgements about you and what you needed to do to save a life. We've all made compromises. None of us are that saintly. We're not passing judgement, believe me. Hang around long enough and you'll probably see us all do something or another that you'll wish we hadn't done. That's part of that being human business.

"I would think that you and Khaat could understand each other, then, rather than coming apart like you are. I know you've got some battle wounds. We all do. Khaat's going through a lot of the same stuff. The difference I see is that her wounds right now are so fresh that they feel like her emotional wounds are too raw for her to know how to deal with. She used to be almost as strong as Robert, and she knows it. She also knows she doesn't feel like that anymore, and she doesn't know how to make herself become that person anymore.

"And Brian is who she's depending on to help her find her way back. And Brian is depending on us. You wanna know where I think she went last night? I have a couple of guesses. And I'll bet you a cooking lesson its one of about two or three places."

Cassidy sighed and nodded "I'll take that bet , remus's grave " she said picking up her waist length black leather jacket "hay, don't even go there, I have had this for years, just never thought to wear it " she said and slipped it on "so we waiting or going, im sure steven can mind girls or should we let Brian deal with her ?" she asked looking at him then with a sigh she spoke again "ok, I admit it, Im worried about them both " she couldn't help but chuckle "hes not excactly able to help himself with that knee and her with her ankles " she said

"If she's spent all night in the snow at Remus's grave, she's grieving," Angus said. "That's the first place I figured she'd go. I don't know if I know what the issue is, but my bet is that he needs a moment alone with her. He said he was thinking of taking her out for a bite of breakfast. Dont forget that if he needs help, he has that medallion that will summon a whole platoon if he needs it. If I were him, I'd let her get it out of her system, whether she needs to shout or cry, or whether she just needs held. Then, I'd take her for some food--a hot meal. When she's starting to feel human again, I'd bring her back home, get her to soak in a hot bubble bath, make sure she has a big mug of chamomile tea, and then if she wants to get some sleep, I'd make sure she got it. And I'm betting he won't stray far from that.

"Our job will be, at least until he gets a chance to catch us up, is to get breakfast in, take care of the barn--which I haven't had chance to do yet, get the girls up and bathed and fed, and anticipate anything that they'll need. By then, he'll need probably some coffee himself, and he'll need off his feet and he will have been on his knee way too long. He'll need to elevate his leg and ice it again. We'll need to take care of him, her, the babies, and the animals, and everything else. Oh, and get ready for the party.

"That reminds me. I have to bake the bread you made up last night. It should make 5 perfect loaves if it's risen just right. And it bakes for an hour. We'll have to do that before we eat. While its baking, we can take care of the girls and maybe I can get Steven to take care of the barn for me today. I try not to ask him, but I could use the help.

"Those bezillions of fresh cut flowers will be arriving this morning, and we'll have to be using every vase we have and container we can think of to make sure they get put everyplace in the house. Oh, and I got some freaking box of streamers and balloons and ribbons. Pink ones and lilac colored ones. I presume she wants streamers and helium balloons everyplace.

"Michael will be here by no later than 9 with enough groceries to feed a small army, and he'll throw us out of the ktichen entirely. He will order some specific wines for the evening, and it will be our job to snap to it and fetch them and chill them for him. And he'll inspect the whole bloody house to be sure its perfect. When it comes to things like this, he's completely unmoveable about details. We'll be glad we had him.

"I guess I'm saying that we leave Khaat to Brian. Sound like a plan to you?"