Sand and Snow

Khaat took some time with her coffee, and it did help to reduce the stunning that she attributed to Brian cuffing her. She'd certainly taken worse hits in her life and didn't think a whole lot about it. Brian left her alone for her to rest up and get herself together.

She opened a small hidden pouch in her bag and produced locket. She opened the locket and found a bottle of her potion that she had miniaturized over and over until it was small enough that she had been able to use a pair of tweezers to put it in her locket. She took out tweezers, got out the bottle, returned it to its normal size, took a dose and then reversed the whole bit in order to put the nearly microscopic bottle back in her locket and put it back in her jewelry box. The potionmade her head spin for a brief moment. She paused, letting it settle. It made her feel more like herself. She sighed, feeling relief. The clutter of her mind faded and she felt more like her old self again, more ready to face the world.

She got up, found a short fuschia robe that she put on and tied it around her as a beach cover up and checked herself in the mirror. The potion actually had seemed to reduce some of the stress from her face. She didn't look drastically better. The change was very subtle. But she did feel a lot better. Rob really did know how to formulate some worthwhile potions, and she was grateful for that.

She went back up on deck, checking to see Angus handing Brian a dose of pain potion. She had forgotten. He had strained all those fractures for her. She went over to Brian. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he smiled. "That 'not thinking' thing is my fault. I hit you harder than I thought." She laid her hand on his shoulder and returned his collarbone back to proper alignment and then checked his ribs.

"That's better," she said. "I'm sorry, everyone. I"ve been such a wet blanket. I think Burke and Gelding bothered me more than I thought they would. I'll try not to do that again."

Steven and Cassidy sat sunning, or so it seemed, when jack and Jess walked up but their red cheeks made jack and Jess look knowingly at them even more .

"please, don't look at us that way " said Cassidy and stood up moving to the front of the ship away from them hearing Khaat's voice, she turned and smiled "good to see you up again Khaat " she said and moved back knowing Brian and Khaat would take her mind of Jess and jack , what did did or did not do with Steven was none of there business, but she knew it was because they cared both about her and about Steven.

Steven stood up and was about to follow when he saw Brian followed a few minuets later by Khaat who looked much better. " feeling better?" he asked just as a crew man announced lunch was ready in the galley. "I'm hungry after that swim what about you guys?" he asked smiling his arm wrapping around Cassidy's waist as she moved to stand with him.

"Sure," Brian said, "I'm always hungry." He led her to the lunch table.

Lunch was a perfectly prepared chef salad with fresh crab in it. It looked like it could have been a photograph in a gourmet magazine. It was delicious. Khaat loved fresh crab, and Angus was a master with all kinds of seafood. She squeezed the wedge of fresh lemon over her crab and added the special seafood dressing to it that he had made. It was delicious. And he'd put a huge basket of fresh, warm crusty bread with it, and fresh iced tea.

Brian offered her a piece of the bread, and she took it. "Where are the girls?" she asked.

"With my brother," Angus said. "Being very spoiled and fed like little princesses. Not to worry, Khaat."

"Thank you," she said. She felt like a terrible mother, like she was being neglectful of her daughters. LIke they were being raised by others. She liked the help, but she really did want to be a good mother. She listened to all the joyful lunch conversation and how much they all were loving the crab salad and Angus's fresh bread. It was simple but it was gourmet quality. When Khaat thought about it, her life was far better now than it had been for a very long time. Brian treated her like a queen, and she loved him for that. But she alone knew what she was doing, and she was ashamed and guilty. And when all these people who knew her found out, Khaat fully expected them to leave her entirely. She felt that she would end up totally alone.

Her father would be outraged. So would her mother. Brian would feel betrayed and confused. Rob already was angry. Her friends would be no less, she believed. But they didn't know the horrors that she had in her head, the stuff that she had never unleashed. The stuff she couldn't discuss with any living creature. She was going to do her best to enjoy the time she had now to have fun with her friends and the people who loved her, because, as far as she knew, that time was going to run out very, very soon.

Jess looked at Khaat as she ate something ate at the back of her mind "Khaat stop panicking both girls are not going to think you bad for leaving them alone fore a few hours , god if that was the case what do my three think of us leaving them with there gran this long" she said now frowning at her," what ever else you have going on drop it for now " she said but her head started to hurt " ok I'm sorry i got to go rest " she said holding her head as she stood up and left her eyes fixed on Khaat as she passed.

Cassidy enjoyed her food some what confused as Jess left but never the less enjoyed it "wow this is wonderful " she said smiling at them all "I never had crab like this before , gonna have to learn how to make it " she said

Steven watched as Jess moved to leave leaving jack sat at the table "aren't you going to make sure she's ok?" he asked him , jack shook his head "best to leave her for now when she gate her head aches " he said Steven looked at Cassidy and smiled as she said she'd have to learn to cook the salad.

"I'll get the recipe from the cook " he said finishing his food and sipping his coffee. He watched Khaat she seemed to him too back to normal for some one who had been threw what she had , it had taken him almost a year to get over his coma and the realization his Janet was gone, yet here she was only a few weeks after being found almost normal. He sighed feeling Cassidy's hand touch his leg. turning to her he saw a look of worry on hr face and he smiled , sliding his hand under the table he took hers gently squeezing to let her know he was OK.

"Angus whats the weather forecast for tonight , clear I hope" he asked .

Khaat looked at Jack and spoke before she thought much. "Jack," she said. "Don't let Jess go too deeply into my head. Going that deep into the mind of any Lupin is just a very dangerous thing to do." Then she realized she might have said too much. "You know what I mean," she added. "We have a lot of skeletons in our family closets. Jess doesn't need to see all of that ugliness that comes in our DNA."

Brian laughed. "Don't worry about it, Khaat. It's all ancient history now anyway. Angus, the salad is incredible. That's one of the good things about coming to Tuscany. We have a lot of fresh seafood here in ways we don't get it quite so inland at home."

"Well, we could bring more seafood from here to London. Its just, basically, a zap away, you know."

"Well, we really wouldn't want it to not be special when we came here," he said.

"I haven't run out of recipes yet, Mate. And I won't. Not for a long time. If you want seafood, we'll just get it. Its fine. Enjoy it. I'm glad you all like it. But I do have a dessert. Don't go away." He got up and brought a plate of almond biscotti. The biscotti was dipped in dark chocolate. And his brother served a pot of espresso for those who liked espresso, and coffee for those who liked coffee. He also had tea for those who were not coffee drinkers.

"That looks wonderful," Khaat said.

"Well, by the looks of that empty salad bowl, I'll have to make that salad more often," he laughed, pointing out her empty salad bowl.

"It was wonderful," she said. "Thank you."

"Espresso?"

"Yes please," she said.

jack looked at Khaat and nodded "she usually doesn't i guess she's worried about you as we all are Khaat , but I'll tell her to keep it low key" he said now confused himself at Khaats words they all knew about the lupin family history it was no secret , he finished his food and headed for their room and Jess.

Steven shook his head "and so we're down to two " he said softly to Cassidy still waiting for his answer as to what the weather was doing he wanted to show Cassidy the stars from a point where there was no light so she could see them all. Cassidy finished her food and grabbed an espresso and blew across it's surface lightly.

"I...I"m sorry," Khaat said, picking up her espresso. "I appear to be running people off."

"Its not you," Brian said. "Don't take it personally."

"I'm not," she smiled, sipping on the espresso. "Top rate espresso, Angus."

"My pleasure," he smiled. "So what would you all like to do this afternoon?"

"I think I'm going to tan," Khaat said.

"You're welcome to," Brian kissed her.

"How about a cookie?" She took a biscotti off the tray and passed it around. She dipped it in her coffee and took a bite. "They're awesome. Thank you, Angus. Can you make any chocolate ones?"

"How about quadruple chocolate ones?" he smiled at her.

"Yeah. Sounds great," she said.

teven looked at Angus and took a coffee watching as Cassidy took an espresso and blew across it.

"I might do the same I need to warm up " she said and smiled finishing hr coffee she openly took Stevens hand and moved from the table " you coming ?" she asked him and smiled as he followed her up to the deck and lay down with her she turned to face him .

"ok whats up?" he asked " you openly held my hand and that to me means your not hiding things any more" he said softly as he to turned to face her.

Cassidy shook her head "Nope, but if you want things to move on you have to tell your sons, both of them, I don't want to come between you and them there more important" she said " as for anything else , no way not till way down the line right now were on the clock , right?" she said seeing him with a big smile "what?" she said.

Steven grinned at her knowing nothing would happen. " you already saw them at the match remember the two boys with me that day were john and Andrew, but yes I'll let them know when we get back and you can meet them properly" he lay down in the warm sun.

"ow one more thing" she said leaning over him "we're not teenage kids hiding around every corner" she said and lightly kissed him before laying back and sunning her self feeling more comfortable.

Khaat watched Angus clear away the lunch dishes, and Brian accio'd a deck of playing cards. "Come on. I bet you stink at gin now," he said to Khaat.

"Me?" she asked.

"Yeah. If I recall, I beat you the last time."

"You did not. Deal those cards," she said. Angus's brother refilled Khaat's and Brian's espresso cups. "Brian, how is it that we're in one of the most romantic places in the world and all you can think about is gin rummy?"

He laughed. "Oh believe me, that's not all I can think about. Not at all."

"Just deal," she said.

They played for over an hour before Angus said. "We're in far better waters. You can all swim here if you like."

"I'd really like that," she looked at Brian.

"Ok. Go ahead. Enjoy yourself. Just don't get overtired."

"Okay," she said, getting up. She kissed him and went over to the side of the boat. She took off her robe and dove over the side again. She really wanted to find out how in shape she was or wasn't.

Cassidy felt the boat stop and sat up to watch Khaat dive over the side again she stood up and watched her swim. Cassidy sighed as Steven walked up behind her "I wish she would make her mind up" she said watching her "I guess I'll never understand her " she said.

Steven chuckled as he held her close. "only Brian can completely understand her " he said watching her too as she swum around , he wondered what it was that she hid but he had his own issues to cope with. "well you want to swim again?" he asked cassidy nodded "sure no reason why not " she said and moved to the ladder as Steven dove off the side into the water.

Cassidy took a chance and moved out a little away from the boat this time she moved only with a little help from Steven "hey look i can swim, look Khaat !!" she said happy but hr hands still held his.