Resurrection

Robert stood in the doorway of Eli's room, leaning against the doorjam, just watching Eli calmly as the boy had his little mini-meltdown. At least he wasn't screaming anymore. No one, though, who was otherwise well could walk with both ankles broken. Not unless they were stoned out of their mind. And nothing Robert could find in Eli's chart showed he'd had enough pain spells or potions to make that likely. Unless--well, Jen or one of those Paris lads might well have slipped him something of Rob's design. Either that, or being with Barker had been entirely too much for the Bulgarian. One or the other. It merited watching, at any rate.

"Your mother. The woman who fought off death for no one else but you," Robert said with a firm quietness. "Not Marina. She'd have never done that for you, and you know it. I meant Khaat. You know what happened back there, and you also know she could never, ever leave you. Not even then."

Robert saw out of the corner of his eye one of the orderlies walking his direction and motioned to him. Ian Brennan. Ian stood 6'4", and weight about 250 pounds of solid muscle. Ian was a bodybuilder and tangling with him just generally didn't work out well for most. He was just the man for the job. When Ian arrived at the doorway, Robert pointed to Eli.

"Mr. Lupin?" Ian asked.

"Handle this, would you?" Robert asked quietly, his sense of humor returned but well stifled for the sake of performance. "Don't hurt the boy, but lets rid him of whatever little preocupation he has so that hopefully he won't risk himself any further. I do realize he would much prefer the young lady to assist him, but he has too many injuries to leave him unattended when he refuses to behave. He can have his bath if he wants, but then we really will have to most likely sedate him again to repair all those fractures once he ruins the immobilizations." Robert sighed. "Make sure he gets back to bed without hurting himself and then call me. If he gives you difficulty, just sedate him earlier."

"Yes, Sir," Ian said, eyeing Eli as Robert walked away. "So, shall we get this overwith then, Mr. Krum?"

Khaat was awakened by Eli's shouting. It jolted her--hard. And that was painful. But the auror guarding her door looked in at her and said. "Your father is already on it, DIrector." Khaat tried to take a few breaths to calm herself and to resolve to let her father handle whatever it was.

A few moments later, he came in. "I'm sorry that woke you, my dear," he kissed her bruised cheek. "I'm sure he woke half the hallway."

"What was his problem?"

"It seems he got it into his head he wanted a bath."

"I know that feeling," She said softly. "No matter how clean I am, it still feels like there is more of Barker to wash off. So is he going to get his bath?"

"I turned it over to Ian."

"You didn't!" The thought almost brought a grin to her face.

"I did," he laughed.

"Eli is going to learn the hard way. Daddy..." she began

"What is it, Khaat?"

"He took my wand."

"I have it. The Prime Minister returned it to me. Its not the sort of thing they need at the scene. I have yours and Eli's both."

"And..."

"What is it? Something else?"

"My ring. Brian is going to kill me."

"No," her father soothed her, brushing her hair out of her face. "He won't. It seems you took it off yourself and laid it on your desk. He has it. It never left your desk." She closed her eyes, tears burning. "The ring would have been replaceable anyway, Khaat. I know it wouldn't have been the same, but I know he'd have much rather replaced it."

"Is Eli really alright?"

"Physically? He's going to be fine. I do want to keep an eye out for how he's coping, though. I'm not sure he's quite himself."

"He wasn't back there either."

"With Barker?"

"No. Not quite. Seemed to be almost walking that fine line. I should have been stronger...."

"Khaat, listen to me. How you coped with it would not have made any difference in how he coped. Let it go. He'll be fine. Really. Khaat, we need to talk about you for a moment."

"I know. Its not going to be easy working with all these broken bones, is it?"

"Working?" He frowned. "My dear, I am not likely to release you back to duty before well into January as it is. That's the last thing on my mind. You have a long, long way to go this time, Khaat. It's all added up for you. That's what I wanted to brace you for. This is going to be awhile--and a lot of hard work." She sighed heavily.

Chase was starting to realize just how bad Elijah was. When he seemed to slowly get more and more insane, it made the tears burst into her eyes. As he complained about needing a bath, she touched his cheek softly. "What did he do to you Elijah?" She whispered, gently brushing aside a strand of bloodied hair. Tears leaked down her face as Elijah went on about the countryside or whatever, and she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Elijah was going insane, something inside him had snapped under Barker's punishments she was sure. Something was completely wrong with how Elijah was acting, and she had no idea how to fix it. When the Minister came in, Elijah decided it was time he got his bath.

Chase jumped to her feet, not knowing what to do as he managed to pull himself to his feet, on broken ankles, and make his way into the bathroom. Chase stood behind him the entire time, making sure he didn't fall, and if he did, she was there to balance him again, until he finally got into the bathtub. "Elijah, now stop." She said assuming a tone of a mother on him now. It was the only way to handle him. "Now, sit there for a second, I'm going to start the water up, we'll get it nice and warm for you, then we'll get you undressed." She said lightly, knowing that someone else was in the room with them now, but she wasn't about to let Elijah go to some other nurse, not in the state he was in.

Chase turned on the bathwater, got it nice and hot for him, knowing he would feel the warmth, before she let it fill up, she turned and looked at him again. "Now I'm going to be really careful, lucky for you, you're already half naked.." She said softly, smiling at him. "But I have to get your pants off okay?" She said lightly, not bothering with his privacy for a moment, as she carefully undid his pants, and pulled them off of his legs. She turned around, found a knife, and literally cut off his boxers, before pulling them out from under him, letting the water flow around his legs, as she threw the torn boxers onto the floor.

She turned and got some soap, and shampoo. "We're going to get you nice and clean, then we'll get you into bed, and you can go to bed okay?" She said softly. "You need sleep, and I"ll make sure it's dreamless, so that nothing can harm you there okay?" She said softly as she put body wash into a rag and started to gently scrub the blood off of his chest. "You made quite a mess of yourself Elijah Krum... and it's a good thing I'm here..." She said softly, staring intently at his chest as she tried to get every bit of grim and blood off of it. "And I don't care how much you protest, I'm helping you in the bath and that's final.. you shouldn't have walked all the way over here you know.. you probably rebroke your ankles in like, ten spots, it's a good thing we have magic to help in situations like that." She said and looked up at him with a smile.

"Here.." She said and handed him the bottle of shampoo. "Rub that into your hair, lather it up, I don't want to see a speck of dirt in your hair, or I'll get my fingers into there, and somehow I don't think you want that, I'll make your scalp hurt worse then you're ankles if I get at it." She said with a large smile as she turned the water off on the tub, and started to wash off the grim from elsewhere, trying not to pay attention to the bloody water in the tub, she pulled out her wand and put the tip into the water, watching the gross stuff be swallowed up into the wand, and the good stuff came back out, refreshing his water so that his bath would stay clean. She went back to scrubbing at his chest, getting the blood off, and uncovering the scars that had appeared there after the initial wound had been sealed.

Tunnel vision wasn’t nice, a tunnel mind was even worse and the latter of which was what Elijah had currently. His multiple personalities were busy trying to fix it but he was basking in the high he was feeling, loving how he could feel the numb of drugs in his body. He remembered oddly why he was so convinced it was a good idea to use. But in that same sitting he also remembered why it was a bad idea to. Seventeen hours later and a threesome, he was sure, he found himself slung out of a window with the French walking underneath it, not caring about the hung over artist dangling over them. That in itself was enough incentive to stop.

The booze still found him in strange places when he woke up though. And to think, Elijah professed it was Harry that got frisky when he was drunk. Both were just as bad except Elijah did tend to be more sensual in a way that confused him and the various pieces of furniture that got broken thanks to drunken stumbling. Harry was as poufy as a flipping fairy, springing about and launching himself into the air pretending he had wings. That was a load of bull but if you were still coherent then it was a funny thing to watch.

This type of high was a little bit different though. It wasn’t hurting his head but it sure as hell was hurting his body. Wait no, he was doing that and the potions he was drugged with were wearing off. Sad faces all around. But whatever was in that Chinese was keeping everything going. He blamed Pierre; or Cherie. No, Elijah blamed Pierre for this tom foolery. But he was getting his bath. So perhaps one of those frowns could be turned upside down.

What he didn’t want was to be washed. He’d been hanging from a wall for goodness only knows how long and he was more or less incapacitated after this little exertion. He wanted a little bit of independence even if that meant he could only wash himself. It seemed however, that he was being robbed of that because they were beginning to think he was clinically insane. Well that may have been strictly true, the odd speckle of inbreeding being harboured in his family tree, he didn’t want to be stuck with that label. He was an artist, they were far from normal. Erratic behaviour was something they were famed for, or at least Elijah was. Sparks of inspirations were always hitting him and it either enthralled or terrified the girls. The latter was more common than the former though sadly.

Apparently though, he was completely incapable of doing things for himself. Fantastic. That was the whole point of getting up. If he wanted to be pandered to then he may as well have stayed where he was.

Elijah sighed and rested his head on the rim of the bath. Nakedness was whatever with him. Clothes just kept you warm. If you were a nudist – great. He tugged at his bandages, frustrating himself needlessly even more and sighed heavily.

“Deep, deep joy,” Elijah deadpanned in reply to Chase’s mention of bed. Sod bed. He didn’t need to sleep. He was perfectly fine. What he did need was a few more potions to numb his mind and his body. Being coherent was a horrible thing; it meant he could understand that everyone was waiting for him to crack. “Will there be a nice bed waiting for my in the psych ward? I really want to know ahead of time whether it’s a good idea to Owl my mother or not.”

Ah yes, Marina who would remove Elijah from Britain without fail upon his request. It would come at a greater cost to him as she’d no doubt rope him into something particularly horrifying but it was better than hanging around with the nut jobs for the rest of his days. He’d rather marry Mira than do that. Mira, the woman he’d claimed to be a lesbian so as to get out of a betrothal with her. If ‘Mummy’ came to save the day then he’d be roped back in, thrown into dress robes and pushed up the aisle.

Elijah shrugged, “Nightmares will remind me that Barker was lying to me. Strange bloke he is. The irony is that one person knows what happened, one, yet he seems to know all. Perhaps he really was there then or someone was particularly careless. Plus, I haven’t seen Ali for a while. I miss her. Maybe it’ll be a good dream. Then again, maybe it’ll be the usual. The sh*t has hit the fan as the Muggles would say. I need a drink. Sod the potions. Sod everything. A drink and a cigarette would do me nicely right now. Where’s Pierre? He walked off with the fags the prick.”

“I can do it myself. I’m not completely useless shockingly enough. It’s only broken bones. Besides, it’s nothing that hasn’t happened before. I was still semi-mobile then too. Maybe it’s my bruised ego but I don’t particularly want to be incapacitated because everyone things I’m a lunatic.” Elijah stared at the ceiling, his jaw set firmly. “Being out to lunch is exceedingly easier than having to be aware of everything he’s doing to you. Has no one taken that into account? Also, baiting them so they hurt you more is fun. He’s incredibly touchy that bloke. One thing we seem to share is our opinions of each other’s crown jewels. I pity the poor Greyback for two reasons. The first is probably because he’ll be the worst lay she’ll ever have and the second reason is because when her brother finds out he’ll string Felix up by his imaginary balls for defiling his sister.”

Elijah hummed in frustration and sat up slightly, the water moving around him, adjusting to the movement. He put his fingers into his hair and began to leisurely lather the shampoo. Shampoo wasn’t one of Elijah’s favourite things. He usually used the shower gels that did the body wash stuff and the hair wash stuff so he didn’t have to faff around with all of this hair care rubbish that he didn’t actually care about. Shower gel/Hair wash gel-stuff, done. This stuff smelt like lavender. He was going to smell like an old woman. Joy. “Does the hair thing even matter?” Elijah asked wearily, less enamoured by the thought of a bath than he had been before. There would be no wallowing in warmth. This would be strictly wash then back to bed. Perhaps he’d drown himself while Chase had her back turned.

And who was the prat in the room with them? Oh. He was going to play the orderly was he? Fantastic. So he was going to the psyche ward after all! Great; that was the best news. Boredom was creeping in now. He really couldn’t be bothered with the bath anymore. Sod it. Independence was out of the window. He’d be staring at a ceiling for a month. This was reminiscent of the Hospital wing but at least he was only coughing up his lungs and not anything else. He could draw on the wall there. He’d probably be reprimanded for hurting himself.

Tigers are independent creatures; they want to do their own thing. Elijah had a certain sense of anxiety relating to his own control. He needed to be in control of himself, of the situation he was in or he was completely shot to bits. He didn’t know how to control himself when he didn’t have reigns on situations. Barker was simple really. If he continued to antagonise him the he’d be in control to an extent. Otherwise he could keep breaking his bones on the shackles which he did do quite successfully. Elijah was not a tame tiger.

Said wild tiger dropped his head down onto the rim of the bath again. He figured he may as well start staring at ceilings now to get a head start. He’d probably see black for a while though while they fixed whatever he broke. C’est La Vie though. People broke things. Muggles didn’t have magic. They got on well enough. Elijah didn’t care about himself enough to really give a damn about what damage he was doing to his broken joints and such. It was shame really but he was bored of being the patient. He hated hospitals just a little too much, a trait he got from his mother. Perhaps she’d get him out of it. Ah yes, a Bulgarian physician was much better wasn’t it? No, the quacks were worse. They were frighteningly scary. Elijah could recall getting his leg patched up and the physician was sewing, not watching what he was doing, and having a conversation with Micah. It was astounding. But they were good.

“Have you ever felt betrayed by people that question you? People that aren’t meant to question you but do?” Elijah asked absently, allowing Chase to continue to scrub his chest. It was beginning to smart a bit now but that was just the friction. “Trust doesn’t seem to go both ways anymore,” Elijah stretched slightly, bending his knees and relaxing, allowing the water to pool over him, obstructing Chase’s job somewhat. He pulled his arm out of the bath and rested his elbow on the rim. He held his hand up to the light and watched as the stones in the rings twinkled on his fingers.

“The body is shot and the mind has to follow. He was horribly precise. The irony is that I’ll live either way whether that be a half life or not. This will be one of those dreadful full ones where every day is mentally, physically and emotionally draining because you wonder why you’re still doing this, why you’re still living. But it’s not living, not really. It’s just existing. Days are getting shorter and shorter, nights longer and longer. Then you realise that it’s one long night with a few comatose daylight hours in which you’re subjected to that fun thing called a hangover, a bruised ego and you wake up to find a woman beneath you. That’s what existence feels like. It’s disorientating, it doesn’t make much sense and you don’t know what the f*ck is going on. Living is a completely different kettle of fish that I can’t remember enough of it to explain. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel, though, especially for those too chicken enough to go in.”

Chase could almost feel the shift in Elijah as she started to scrub him. He was starting to let what happened to him catch up. Chase continued to wash him until he finally started to talk, lifting his knees, so that she had to stop what she was doing. Chase listened to him, feeling more sad by the second. Yes.. she had felt that way, after her family had died. She had gone into a depression so deep.. it was a surprise Andrew had been able to pull her out of it as he did. And then she had gone diving back in.. and she had been on the brink of it again, just as she had been called to say that Khaat wanted to speak to her. That's when she had been informed that her life for the time being was about to change, and now here she was, listening as Elijah decided it was time to let the depression take the better of him.

"Elijah.. stop it." She said firmly, grabbing him by the chin, looking into his eyes. "No.. listen to me Elijah Krum! Listen!" She said shaking his jaw lightly. "I will not let you go into this hole! No listen to me Elijah F*** Krum. Don't you do this to me! Don't quit on me now. Do you hear me?" Chase said, her hands now cupping his face. "Elijah Krum, I've gone through depression, and it's a scary place okay? Don't go there, think of Fauve, and Theirry.. think of Kitty! Think of ME!" She said her eyes watering now, but she swallowed, and the traces of tears disappeared, she had to be strong now.

"Elijah Krum, you told me that you love me, and I love you... just because you are unable to help yourself right now, doesn't make you useless! It makes you in need of someone! I'm here baby! I'm here!" She said and pulled his head to her, ignoring the fact that the shampoo was still in his hair and was now all over the side of her face. "Elijah..." She said letting him go and holding him away from her again. "You listen to me right now, we're going to get you cleaned up, we are going to get you into your bed, where you will fall asleep, in the morning, I will be here okay? I will be here, and we will get you dressed, and we will go for a walk, we'll walk around the room if we have to, but we'll go for a walk! Elijah, I love you.. please don't leave me now.. I can't stand for you to leave me now!" She said fighting off tears again.

"Now lets just get you rinsed off, and I'd say we can get you into bed." She said lightly, pulling down the shower head, and gently spraying his body with the warm water. Washing out the soap in his hair, completely ignoring the fact that now she was wet, and had shampoo on her face and neck. "Erm.. Ian?" She asked suddenly, spinning on him. "Where am I taking him after this? I'll need to know where to put him.. he.. he isn't doing to good, could you tell the Minister that? Or Khaat? I think he's showing signs of depression, and we need to do something about that quick... oh, and don't let him anywhere near anything sharp okay?" She said and spun around again, grabbing the shower head, and his upper arm. Once the shampoo was washed out, she helped him to his feet. "Now, you seem determined to be able to do something by yourself, so stand there for a second okay?" She said firmly, and without taking her eyes off of him, reached for the towel.

Water dripping from her arms, some of it had soap in it, She wiped the side of her face with her hand, only being successful in wiping more soap on her face, as she grabbed the towel and wiped him down, getting him nice and dry, before helping him out of the tub. "Elijah Krum, stand here for a second." She said and grabbed some new clothes they had given her. Someone had obviously gone to his house or something, because some of his pajamas were there. She grabbed the boxers and went to Elijah. "Put these on." She said flinging them at him. She had to be rough with him, it was the only way to shock him out of his depression. If there was one thing Chase wasn't, it was rough, so maybe this would keep him on his toes, at least watching her. They could fix whatever damage he had done to his body later, for now, they had to fix his mind.

Chase grabbed the pajama pants, and helped him get into them once his boxers were on, and didn't bother with the shirt. "Come on.. we'll get you into the shirt later if you want to, but we do need to get you off of those ankles.. I want to be able to see you walking by Christmas okay lover boy?" She said lightly, and she pulled his arm around her shoulders, to help him out of the room. Mentally she was saying: "Please Elijah.. don't be like me... I won't let you get depressed, I won't let you have to take that medication, or any of that... You will not be like me, you will not need to be reminded daily that you are worth something.. to this day I still have problems looking at sharp things, without rememebering the numerous times I tried to kill myself after my parents died, I will not see you look at sharp things with that glint in your eyes. I won't do it." Chase helped him out of the room lightly, and smiled at him. "Just keep walking love.. you aren't useless.. you aren't.."

Robert had overheard that not all was going as he had thought it might. He looked in to see that Elli was still not where he wanted him to be. He understood the boy was traumatized, but Robert also sensed he clearly needed to take control himself now.

"Chase," Robert said, flicking his wand at Eli to keep him from falling. He was calm and steady, as always. At least that much, Eli would expect. "Do as I say. Go across the hall with Khaat, please. Its my turn now."

He looked at Eli. "Enough," he said quietly, flicking his wand again to cast a heavy sleep spell on him. "Ian. To bed with Mr. Krum, please. This spell will not lift until I lift it myself. Then let's get those fractures reset, and this time, lets just put him in casts. It'll provide him more support for his horsecrap and keep him from ending up disfigured for life by fractures he won't let heal."

"Yes, Sir," Ian said, lifiting his wand to take control of Elijah Krum

Chase spun around when suddenly the Minister was the room. Chase looked at Elijah, her chin quivering, before nodding once and moving towards the door. "I think he's starting to get depressed Minister.." She said softly, while she stood in the door, not looking at the room behind her. "Please.. don't let him hurt myself.. I couldn't... I Can't..." She took a shaky breath and nodded once before leaving the room and heading across to Khaat's room. Once inside she stopped and put her hands over her face for a small moment, before straightening up and looking at Khaat.

"Hello." She said softly, moving into the room to sit beside her bed. "I just got back from helping Elijah..." She said gently, running her hand through her hair for a long moment. Just recently she had chopped most of it off, but of course being a witch, it had fixed itself in a single night time, becoming what it had been before, which kind of sucked, but she didn't really care, she had half a mind to cut it off again. "He's not doing to good Khaat... I think he's getting depressed.. which.. is bad." She said softly, her eyes sliding down to stare at her lap. "I was depressed for a long time... and... well I'm not happy about what I did." She said and carefully tugged on her sleeves, as though attempting to hide what they already covered. "I just.. I can't stand to see him hurt himself.. Khaat is that how you feel about Brian? I just.. I can't stand it.. what if he does something bad? I don't want him to hurt himself!" She said shaking her head and looking up at Khaat carefully.

"And you.. you did so much.. You got out of there! You lived! You..." Chase suddenly sat up, looking at Khaat hard for a long moment. "When Barker gets caught.. can I see him? Can I talk to him please Khaat? I know he'll get caught! He's to stupid not to get caught, please! May I talk to him? I will.. I'll make him regret doing anything to hurt you and Eli.. I will.. he'll have to suffer as he thinks of me... maybe I"ll bring Fauve with me... yeah.." She said with a nod. "A teenager mother.. with a child.. " She smiled and nodded. "How are you doing Khaat? Is there anything I can get you?"

"Chase," Khaat said softly, "Listen. Depression is a very normal part of trauma. I understand that it frightens you, but as he starts to work through this, he may go through all sorts of feelings. By the way, you're not the only one who has some scars. You don't have to hide yours. I won't hide mine, so we need to lay our cards on the table with each other.

"There's something I've figured out that perhaps may help. Eli is very sensitive and spends a lot of his time trying to find someone to fill the gap that his parents never filled for him. The difficulty is for him that he never quite trusts anyone enough to let them in enough to actually give him what he needs.

"I survived because I was so very blessed to be surrounded with a lot of love my whole life. When I was a child, my family's very name was utterly hated and feared because of what my uncle had become. He and my parents raised me to understand that what other people say about you don't mean one heck of a lot. They taught me that the people you love--they're worth everything. They're the ones worth fighting and dying for. I learned how to stand up to people like Barker. Eli never had to learn that. While we were there, the only thing I could do is to try to let him know that he was never, ever alone. Never ever without someone to love him.

"And, something else, my father and I won't let anything happen to him. Not if we can help it. When it gets to the right point for him to want to deal with it instead of running from his own demons, I'll try to let him know he's not there eitther. Chase, this is not the first time something like this has happened to me. And I doubt it will be the last. But what I do know is that I understand how he feels. And I know that part of what he's dealing with is my fault--directly and perhaps indiirectly.

"Eli was taken because I love him. that was the only reason. He was taken because of me. He was hurt because of me. And, I..well, I accidently frightened him and made him feel even more alone and traumatized. I never meant for that to happen.

"And I understand how you feel too. It is how I feel about Brian, and, really, its how I feel about Rob too, in an odd sort of way. There are a lot of people that I don't ever want to have to live without. Someday, maybe I'll tell you about what happened to me when I was about yoru age when I lost the one person I loved more than anyone else in the world.

"But Barker? Oh no, Chase, This is no fight for you, my dear. This fight belongs to me and to my father. I don't want you anywhere near this. I want you keeping yourself and your baby safe. If the aurors kill him, then my father gets what he wants. If they take him alive, believe me, he won't leave my courtroom a free man. And I want him to know that there are people he has to answer to. People that are able and willing to stop him and aren't afraid of him."

Chase nodded as Khaat spoke, talking about scars, and she slowly slid her sleeves up, showing multiple scars crossing her wrists. It was obvious she had tried really hard to kill herself, only to be caught again and again, healed again and again. Obviously by someone without much healing ability, but still healed. She rubbed the scars and shook her head. "It was stupid.." She whispered, staring at them. "I just.. I wanted to join them... they had left me... left me to be the one who lived, and they got to die, they got to go into that bliss, and I was left here... to look at them as they lay there." She said shaking her head, and running her hand through her hair again.

Chase listened to Khaat talk about her family, and she couldn't help but look up in awe at her idol, her hero.. this person, who just by looking up all of her accomplishments, had kept her almost sane. This person, who had so much more to her then the biographies said.. then what the newspaper reported. Chase looked in awe at this person, who had just been through so much, and yet.. could be so strong. She spoke, and she made Chase feel better, it was like everything about her was a healer, she didn't say a spell, but her voice was hypnotic, and it helped soothe Chase's tired soul.

"Khaat... " She said softly, staring into the distance for a moment, before returning her gaze back onto her. "I came from a family... who.. they gave me anything and everything... I was.. a model, I traveled all over the world, I had everything I wanted, and I was a spoiled brat... I was a nice person, but I was naive... about a year ago... my life started to take a dip downwards... when I had my first guy problems... and then... it got to the point where my mom kicked me out of the house, I was barely living... it wasn't life that I had.. so... I had a person I know, obliviate my memory.. and I was put back into my house.. with my mom... my dad... my family, even though they kicked me out because of a guy I was with.. I felt safe again.. I felt loved again.. and then.. they were torn away from my life.. after being attacked by that horrid woman Nerezza..." She shuddered unhappily.

"I guess I kind of know what it's like to be tortured... when you're in the hands of Nerezza.. you don't need to be kidnapped to feel it... I was on the ground.. unable to move.. and then someone completely different took my family away...after so much... I just couldn't... I couldn't deal with it.. and then I met Elijah... and it was like... a burst of wind had cleared away a spot in the clouds... and he was helping me, and I could follow that light to something better, even though it got cloudy again for a while there... after the baby was born.. I feel that sunlight.. and it.. it's so tempting.. but there's just.. one thing I feel like I need before I could ever.. truly be with him again.. Khaat.. I need a family... I'm an orphan girl, no family, barely any friends, and a baby on the way... What do I do? I need someone that my baby can look at and say Grandma too..." She said and shuddered. "I feel so alone.. and now Elijah is going where I went, and I don't want that! I love him to much Khaat.. I do!" She said looking up at Khaat finally, staring at her with wide eyes, small tears pricking the edges.

"Nobody can rescue Eli right now," Khaat said softly, "though heaven knows I'd like to. Chase, Eli has to get to the point emotionally where he has the desire to fight to do this for himself. Right now, he just really doesn't want to or doesn't know how or both. For right now, the best medicine for him is time and rest. We can try to protect the speed from increasing, but in the end, he has to make a choice."

Choice. That word echoed for a brief second through her head. The last she heard that word was when her father told her that life was a choice. Going back to her body was a choice. Hard as she tried, while she remembered making the choice, she didn't remember going back to her body. She knew it was not the first time she had brushed death that closely, but she did know it was the first time she actually was conscious enough to have memories of it. And every time, it had been her father who had drawn her back. Well, no, wait. That wasn't techically quite true, was it? Wasn't it Rob who had drawn her back a bit over a year ago? Wasn't it his love for her that had, almost singlehandedly kept her alive until her father came? That was part of what kept them bonded to each other still. Even now. It was part of why she would never ever be truly able to be separated from Rob.

"You know, you really do have some misconceptions about death. You know that? Sometimes it really isn't all that. Sometime you'll have to ask the ghosts at Hogwarts. Its about as close as you're probably going to get for awhile. It isn't always bliss, and it isn't always welcome. Sometimes it does not feel like a choice at all for anyone involved. All death is is a cop out. Its a thief and a liar. It takes away everything. Everything of value. Everything worthwhile. And it lies and does nothing but makes endless promises it cannot ever keep.

"I'm not saying I don't believe that there are some people on the other side of the veil who are happy, because I think there are. And I do think there is existence on the other side of the veil. I think, though, that there are some people who would give anything to not have gone across when they did.

"Brian and I are not the type to ever throw anyone out of our family. The only way you wouldn't be a part of that now is if you chose not to be. That's entirely up to you."