Out of the Fire

Khaat sighed. "You're right. The marks do make me really, really nervous. Brian did a really good job healing them. I guess...I lost control one night. He only left me for a minute, but...it was all getting to me. I broke a drinking glass. He had to wrestle the piece of glass out of my hands. At least that's what he said. Its a bit of a blurr. All I remember was that I couldn't handle any more.

"I am surprised he stayed with me through all that. He deserves so, so much better than that. Especially from me. He never got impatient, never lost control, never was anything other than completely wonderful. It..was really, really ugly, Jess. Really ugly. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to let any of that out. Ever. No one deserved to see that. I tried to get him to leave--leave me there by myself. But he refused to go. I don't ever, ever want to put him through that again. He deserves more. He deserves to be happy. What if that's not with me?"

Jess sighed "he is happy with you, he would not have done all this for you, His heart it your heart, his soul is yours, " she held her hands covering her cuts with her hand and fingers "this isn't what he wants, your what he wants, your what he wants and who he loves , trust him and let him in, you have let your self be locked away long before the kidnaping, it's time you opened up to him complete and fully, you'll find things will fall into place , just enjoy tonight and forget the past, its why we're going" she said and smiled "we're looking forward to our aniversory of being together in 3 months" she beamed at her.

"I forgot it was that close," Khaat smiled. She was right. She and Jess were both coming up on their first year wedding anniversary. Jess was so fortunate that she would spend it with Jack. Her marriage had worked out. Khaat didn't regret her relationship with Rob. Not really. She loved him. She would always love him. But Rob didn't have it in him to be a husband. When it got right down to it, Rob didn't have it in him for home and family. He needed to be able to live like a college frat boy. Khaat did regret they had tied each other down. If nothing else ever came of their relationship, they did have Abbey, and Abbey was gorgeous. She was a wonderful child, and Khaat, truth be told, wanted more children. That was a topic she and Brian kept skirting. They would eventually have to deal with it, but they had backburnered it.

"You're right," Khaat said. "Brian never abandons anybody. Not ever. Not under any circumstances. I think you're right that I shut myself away when this whole business when Gelding started. I guess...I guess I thought it was some sort of way to protect the ones I loved. But you lot are more stubborn than that." She managed a smile. "And I"m glad. And you know, Brian doesn't seem to even see the cuts on my wrists unless he's deliberately looking for them. I know if the tables were turned, I wouldn't notice his scars. Well, I don't. He has all sorts of scars. Most of them from sparring with Daddy. But I honestly don't even see they're there 90% of the time. Somehow, I find myself wanting to always shine for him, always look perfect. I know that isn't realistic, but I don't ever want him to wake up someday and look at me and think, 'Ew!' Does that make any sense at all? I don't ever want him ashamed of me."

jess looked at ehr "hey both Jack and I have our fare share of cuts and scars , Khaat, my back is criss crossed with silver scars from when i was taken but jack doesn't see it, he sees whats in my heart as will Brian with you , now come on decide on a dress and a nice one" she said smiling as she still held her hands in hers and smiled.

Khaat smiled. She didn't hadn't paid any attention to any of the scars either Jack or Jess had. She had seen a lot of them in her work as a healer, but she hadn't thought one thing about it. They hadn't even registered in her mind, really. "How come I never really noticed those on either of you?" she frowned. "I just never saw them. But I guess that's your point, isn't it?' She went to the rod and pulled off two different dresses. "Okay. You tell me. Which one? And you're going to love the shoes." Jess knew all too well Khaat's love of really great shoes. She had a swiftly mounting collection of stillettos. It was just one of her great loves. Really tall, sexy shoes. She wasn't sure why, but she really did love them.

jess smiled as Khaat asked how come she had never noticed them "thats because were freinds and you didn't see the bad but the good " she said smiling as Khat still held her hand in hers and smiled "just as brian, jack and I see the good in you not the bad " she looked around the coset again "and boy are you lucky to have Brian I could never get Jack to do one of these for me " she said and grinned at her "ow if he could i would be so greatful, jack is always saying i need to hang my clothes up " she chuckled as she saw a red sparkaly dress this is nice ow and that one " she spun aro8und till she sat down "wow you have so many nice dresses"

"I'll have Brian come over sometime when Jack is out," Khaat smiled. "Then Jack will just have to live with it. You know, once you have that nice big closet, we'll have to fill it up for you. I don't think, though, that he'll say a word. Its just a lot more opportunites for you to look and feel incredible. Brian doesn't--except to encourage me to get whatever I want. That, and he seems to like whatever I wear. He did make me throw out all my old stuff--anything that was either worn out or outdated.

"He doesn't know it, but I'm going to go through is stuff and ditch all his worn out and outdated stuff and make him sleek and sexy. Well, I'll try to. He won't ever stop wearing jeans. And I don't think I'd want him to. Personally, I like him in jeans or in a really sharp looking suit. I made him buy the black suit he's going to pick up. Its probably the nicest one he's ever had. Funny how some guys can look so awesome and don't even know it. Brian doesn't seem to even see how gorgeous he is. He thinks when we hear whistles when we're out that they're for me. He doesn't know that a lot of the time its the girls whistling at him."

Jess smiled and nodded "I have to agree with that" she said and then listened to her talk of her own closet and brian she could not help smile "well he does have that certain... something girls go for " she said and now grinned " ow who am i kidding .. he down right dripping with sexyness " she said blushing having spilled her guts to Khaat "Jack would rib me senseless if he heard me say that " she chuckled "there are a lot of woman who would want to get their hands on him and are deeply jelouse of you for having him , as there are men who envy him for having you too , yes even now " she said "I love Jack and he knows that , I think hes sexy in his own way, you should see him with out his shirt, boy ow boy does he set my heart racing I bet Brian does that with you too?" she asked now grinning at her knowing what ever she said she knew he did.

"Well," Khaat said, "I like a lot of things about him., not just his looks. Actually, one of the things I love about him the most is how much peace he brings to my life. He brings a calmness and a steadiness that I think is important to me. Rob and I were, I think, aobut excitement and flash and passion. And Brian--well, things are just different, that's all. I know I'm probably always going to love Rob. I don't see that will ever change. But I don't think we're meant to be together. Not really. Rob needs to be free to come and go on a whim, and, well, that's not good for Abbey or for me either one. I want her to have a home and a family and a normal life. She deserves that, and Brian will do whatever it takes to give that to her.

She sighed looking at her dresses again. "Alright. I think I'll wear the chocolate colored one. And I have a pair of really nice heels to go with it. I think that's what I'm doing. I'll save the longer sleeved ones for winter. After all, it is just dinner. "

jess smiled and nodded 2thats how I feel about Jack at first i though he was just going to leave but he staid and i have nevr been happier " she grined "as you and Brian will be " she said holding up the hand with Brians ring on "I noticed " she grined and then nodded to her over her choice "nice choice I have ared dress i could wear " she said and smiled as she rembered the pair of matching shoes she had bought but never worn "so were set , I think the boys will think we got lost up here we realy should head back down"