"Being here without you is like I'm waking up to only half a blue sky, kinda there but not quite."

There was a part of Mairen that wanted to open the door and act as though the treacherous and frightening thoughts had never even crossed her mind.But they had, and she had seen what happened to her when she didn't pay attention to her instincts or fears. It never turned out very well for her, while the other person seemed to get what they wanted. So she didn't know where she stood in this case. Theodore had not seemed to her as one of the men she had to be worried about. She had put her faith in him, and she did not want to have to take it back and hide it away somewhere. It needed to be placed somewhere, and she thought he was safe.

She heard him walk away, and although she was tempted to just leave without addressing anything, he had tried to talk to her but she had ignored him. It was possible that he had a perfectly valid reason and she just didn't understand. So she lifted her gaze to the ceiling, finished getting dressed, and made her way downstairs. If nothing else, if she couldn't properly form words, her intentions for the day would be clear, and perhaps Theodore would say something so that she wouldn't have to.

A gentle smile attempted to pull at her lips when she caught sight of the tea cup waiting for her, but when she realized where he was, she frowned deeply. This was something she had never seen Theodore do, and she wasn't nearly skilled enough at cooking to have bothered digging around in drawers. She realized, though, that her fear was more for him than for anything else. Sure, second-hand smoke wasn't helpful for anyone, but that was nothing comparatively, and something was badly wrong if he was resorting to this thing he never bothered with otherwise.

"What are you doing?" She asked, stepping out behind him. The cup in her hand was both there because she wanted it and because she hoped to perhaps give a sort of show that she was accepting of his gesture. Mai hesitated, looking down at her cup for a moment as she tried to decide the level of anger she was technically allowed to feel. Finally, she cleared her throat and looked up at him. "What if you hadn't come back before she woke up this morning and I hadn't realized you were gone yet? What was I supposed to tell her? It isn't as though I had an answer when she asked where you were."

The sound of footfalls on the stairs had never made Theodore feel better than they did in that moment. He looked up from where he was watching the birds bicker in the trees at the end of the garden and offered her a hesitant smile, unable to get rid of the pale weariness of his face no matter how hard he forced his lips up into a curve. Bed was summoning him like an underwater radar system. With every beep of his heart it was drawing him back and it took all of his strength not to pick her up and take her with him.

When she asked the question, Theodore’s brows rose, and he looked at the cigarette then back at her as though the answer to the question was a rather innocuous and obvious one. He smirked despite himself but his expression soured when she continued. Theodore shook his head and turned away, throwing his gaze back out into the garden in the hope that maybe there he’d find an answer and he wouldn’t have to lie to her. He didn’t suppose birds lied, although if they were bickering he supposed one bird must have wronged the other in some way.

“I don’t know,” he murmured. “Maybe that I’d gone out for milk or something?” They had milk but it was a good enough reason. Milk. He wished it had been milk the night before. He wished it had been something for Mai because their little one had set her in a mood for something strange. He’d wished it had been anything other than what it had actually been. Running his spare hand over his face, Theodore tried to find his words. Birds didn’t lie. Did they? Either way, humans shouldn’t.

The cigarette came between his lips and Theodore turned, resting his back against the doorframe. His right hand came to rest on the inner swathe of soft skin on his left arm and he closed his eyes. Then, whipping his palm across it, he reopened his eyes to see the Dark Mark shining grotesquely against the lightly browned skin. He sucked in a breath and realised that it had been years since he’d properly seen it. It had been under wraps since the first day and in small ways he’d forgotten it was there.

“Duty called,” he muttered, dropping his arm. He took the cigarette from his mouth and tipped his head against the frame, sighing out the smoke. “Wood accused me once of having a lack of conviction because even though the Death Eaters own me I’ve been selling my soul to the Order for no good reason. Hallie … Hallie thought it was a wonderful idea that we both join the Order and conduct the greater good or do the greater good or try and ensure it or some rubbish. I don’t know. So, last night I had to leave you to sit in a draughty manor I can remember loving when I was a little boy and to try to protect Athena.

“But as a gift,” he swallowed, flicking away some ash. “A ‘thank-you-for-attending’ prize was that I got to watch someone I called ‘friend’ bleed all over the rug because my own uncle was getting twitchy about not offing Order members lately or getting to flex his muscles against the Muggles. And I had to sit there and look at her and pretend I didn’t care. All I could think about was you and Esme and how I’d carve this out of my skin if it meant they would just leave me alone but I can’t because I need to make sure Athena doesn’t get hurt and at the same time I’m still playing go-between for the Order and I’m keeping an eye on Ben, too, whether he knows it or not because Bae will go spare if something happens to him and …

“It was milk.” Theodore decided, suddenly changing tact. “I went out for milk. If she ever asks, that’s what you can tell her. So what am I doing? I’m trying to calm down. I’m trying to calm down enough to sleep if you’re going to work and I’m trying to order my thoughts and I’m trying to not feel so damn guilty and I’m trying to … I don’t even know, Mai. I’m trying to find a way to apologise to you. I’m trying to … I’m trying to work out how on earth I can be the man that you deserve, that our children deserve, when I can’t even get out of that. I just …”

Theodore flicked the cigarette away entirely before turning to her.

“I’ve let you down before we’ve even begun, haven’t I?”

She had never seen it in real life before. Never on a real person. But now the most important person she knew was showing it to her and claiming ownership of it. She didn't understand it until she was stood there staring at it and staring at him and seeing the effect of it with her own eyes. She didn't understand the majority of what he was trying to say, but none of it made her feel comfortable or okay with the idea of him being a part of it. Why would he want to be involved with them? That was the part she least understood.

Equally, she felt a wave of discomfort wash over her at the mention of Hallie, only pleased to note that the sentence ended with mention of the Order. For that she couldn't dislike the blonde. But he didn't seem to appreciate it, and she just found herself getting more and more worried for him as he spoke. Particularly when he turned to her and dropped a question that genuinely hurt her when she understood the gravity of it.

She hesitated for a moment, then turned around and walked back inside to set down the cup of tea. Mai swallowed hard as she gazed almost blankly down at it. She needed to understand why he had joined in the first place. Other than it being just a family thing, and other than whomever Athena was, why couldn't he just leave them? Why didn't he tell her before and clarify that he wanted out? She had a name, though, of someone she could trust, because Theodore was trying to protect him. If nothing else, maybe this Ben person could help her understand.

For now, though, she could tell that her man needed to get some sleep. She wasn't about to send him off without making sure he took care of himself, though. There didn't seem to be a point in going to work now that she needed to ensure that he was alright. He didn't need to spend the day thinking she wouldn't forgive him. So she drew in a breath and went back outside, reaching for his arm.

"Come on," Mai offered gently, tugging him inside before closing the door behind them. "You need sleep, Theo. And you aren't going near Esme with smoke on your breath."

She led him into the bathroom, pressing his toothbrush into his hand silently, then moved into the master bedroom again to pick out casual clothes instead. She couldn't go to work while feeling like this. Like someone had stuck a dagger into the heart of the man she loved but she didn't have the slightest clue which spell would heal it. She was glad to note that Esme had yet to wake, so she changed quickly before returning to the hall, heading back towards the bathroom.

"Honey," she murmured, wrapping her arms around him from behind (as best as she could manage, mind you) and peeking around his left shoulder to try and meet his gaze in the mirror. "You haven't let me down, okay? You haven't. I just wish," Mai added, reaching a hand down to run her fingertips over the mark, "that you hadn't kept it quiet. I don't understand it, but you don't need to explain it, okay? I just want you to come home to me, and for you to be safe."

Turning her chin towards him, she pressed her forehead against his shoulder. "Please tell me before you leave next time. For a moment, I thought..." Mai pulled away, shaking her head and releasing an almost tired-sounding sigh. "Nevermind that. You're back now. I don't want to strike a nerve or anything, but it might be smart to cover that if you don't want Esme to see it and ask questions. I won't ask it of you, though. So... decide what you want to do about it, and I won't say anything if she wakes before you do and asks me. I haven't forgotten my place. But I'm not going to work, I don't think. Not today, anyway. When you're ready, come back to bed, okay? You must be desperate for it, now."

Nothing more was apparently going to be said on the subject. Theodore hadn’t for one moment thought she’d take it well. He wouldn’t have done, had their roles been reversed. That said, if he’d been Mai he would have found every reason not to fall for a man with as many visible problems as he had. Perhaps he’d just gotten better at hiding them, or maybe she didn’t mind. He couldn’t believe that, though. He was certainly several shades of mad but he didn’t think she didn’t mind. That was mental.

The door closed and Theodore vaguely registered its sound. He took a swig of his tea, washing his mouth out with it, and drained the rest of the cup before abandoning the ceramic in the sink. He followed as bidden and took up the toothbrush, wanting to point out that it was a bit of an overreaction and that the tea would do the job nicely. Still, he’d rather not incite an argument with her and so Theodore brushed, cynically considering whether or not he should floss and use mouth wash.

His eyes lifted when she spoke to him again and he brought one hand down to rub across her arm in a way he hoped was somewhat soothing. His lips twitched a little and he nodded, lowering his gaze as the brushing slowed. He supposed he’d done enough. Leaning down, Theodore spat out the toothpaste and turned on the tap, washing off his brush before shoving it back in the pot. He rubbed a palm’s worth of water across his face and sighed softly before turning and pulling Mai into his arms.

“Thank you,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her crown. “I will … or try to, at least.” Theodore looked down at his arm and immediately the mark was pillowed by glamours as though it hadn’t been there in the first place. He leaned back and inclined his arm towards Mai with a half-smile, one that was resigned to the fact that he didn’t need reminding of such a necessity. The glamours would always stay on, now. Mai had seen. That didn’t mean he was going to ever be comfortable having them off for any extended period of time, though. He had a feeling she wouldn’t have wanted it anyway. “C’mon, then, love.”

Bed. His last hiding place. When he reached it and slid under the sheets he felt all of the tension drain out of him at once. He curled his arms around his daughter, even the abominable Godric, and hugged her close to him as though somehow she was going to slip through his fingers if he didn’t keep her close. With the arm that was on top of her he reached out to Mai, his fingers searching for hers as his feet, as carefully as possible, kicked up the covers over them once more. Sleep was the only way to forget this. At least when he woke up again next, he could pretend none of it had happened after all.

A part of Mai felt like she shouldn't let it go so easily. That same part didn't feel like she quite belonged there once he had pulled Esme to him. But she hadn't slept all that well, and he quite clearly was asking her to join them, so she couldn't turn the invitation down. Although she left a bit of room between the Rookwoods and herself, her fingers laced with his and she gave his hand a gentle squeeze before attempting to quiet her thoughts enough to drift off again.

It was so strange, Mai decided in the coming days. In the Muggle world, something like what was tattoo'd on Theodore's arm might have been interesting or 'cool' or whatever other adjectives one might choose to apply when speaking of it or sharing with the person who bore it how well they liked it. But here, in their world, it brought out fear in others instead of curiosity - well, except in Mai's case, it seemed. She was genuinely interested, and perhaps a bit too much and too clearly. If they sat with Theodore on the right and the redhead on the left, after noting that he wasn't working on anything, she would slip her arm under his and lean against his shoulder as though it might cover up the fact that her fingers were running back and forth across the inside of his forearm. She had been making a show of assuring him that it didn't bother him, but Mai didn't think that she had actually made her plans obvious.

According to Ben - who she had found through Keiran - Theo always entered with Athena, which made sense when she considered the explanation she had been given. The next time a meeting was called, Ben was supposed to bring her in and ensure that nobody had into her. At least, not physically. So when the next meeting came around, she counted herself lucky that Theodore left before Ben arrived.

Pierson frowned at her when she greeted him, desperately thankful that she wasn't expected to keep an eye on Esme that evening. Apparently, she looked a bit too innocent to be taken seriously, so he demanded that she at least try to look cranky when they arrived. She couldn't pull of intimidating, he supposed aloud, making her lift up to her full height and cross her arms over her chest. "Excuse you," she grumbled. "I do just fine in court, thank you. I can handle it."

Ben clearly wasn't so sure, but he seemed to decide that it wasn't worth risking their arrival coming after Theodore and Athena's. So she took his arm and tried to ignore the fact that Bentley practically ignored the fact that his mark was showing, as opposed to Theodore actively disguising it. She couldn't decide which one was more brave, so Mai decided not to think on it anymore.

The Manor was nearly silent when they arrived, as though no one else had arrived yet. It was untrue, of course, considering that the room Ben led them into wasn't empty. He gesture towards one of the chairs at the far end of the table, between two men that, although clearly strangers, seemed frighteningly familiar. Still, she merely nodded in return before crossing the room, not bothering to actually look at either of them. Perhaps if she looked exceptionally disdainful, they would keep quiet. And hopefully Theodore wouldn't kill her - or Ben - when he walked through the door.

Duty called. For a long while, Theodore sat in his chair and watched as his skin reddened, smarting with the pain that was shooting through him. His fingers furled tightly into his palm and he close his eyes, desperately wishing that he had not been as flagrant with his thoughts only moments before. He’d been praying for divine intervention, for some sort of distraction, to deliver him from his paper work but he’d not really been looking for deliverance to some sort of fresh hell. Yet, to finish off the analogy, after all of the sins he’d committed in his time, Theodore felt that it was almost apt.  

With a grim look on his face, he found himself walking up the steps to the front doors of the former Malfoy Manor. Dutifully he’d gone to fetch Athena. White with fear, she was clinging onto him for dear life, desperately trying to compose herself. He was quietly trying to find a crevice somewhere in his mind that he could hide in until the meeting was over. He selected one with a memory of a holiday to the Caribbean on a yacht with his mother and her friends but before he could drop himself into the warm bath water that was that memory he was sunk into the icy rooms of the manor.

“Do you remember when this was so beautiful?” Athena asked quietly, though Theodore couldn’t claim to have really heard her. His stomach was churning within him and he was sure the wine and cheese he’d convinced a Hogwarts House Elf to get for him while he was working was going to be turned out right onto Lorcan’s nice paisley rug. Mind you, Theodore wasn’t entirely sure he personally would care. It would feel more like he was scoring cheap points than anything else and that was bound to be oddly satisfying – even if it was disgusting.

Thinking up a myriad of ways to harass the vampire seemed to placate the tension in the young Rookwood. It was enough to get him into the meeting room himself where Kendall and Augustus were sat, the former idly picking through the nails he had left with the replacement hand that he’d been given. His father had forbade him from having his hand regrown, Augustus determined to show him a lesson or two. But, it wasn’t those two that really caught Theodore’s eye. Though he recognised the clench of Athena’s hand around his arm, it didn’t hold a candle to the way he grabbed for her hand, desperate in search of some sort of anchor.

Mai.

“Theodore let go of me,” Athena’s voice bit at his cheek as she hissed at him and some part of him was lucid enough to obey her.

She led him to a chair, seating him between Kendall and herself. Kendall shot the pair of them a nasty look but didn’t say anything, merely shifting a little closer to his father, the metal hand coming to rest over the flesh one as though he was afraid Theodore would take the other one from him. He managed a smirk in his cousin’s direction and Kendall averted his eyes. That, at least, was some consolation for what waited for him over the other side of the table.

If looks could kill, Ben would be dust. Then, in about forty-eight hours – conservatively estimated – Theodore himself would be trappings once Bae was through with him. The dark look could have made even Voldemort quiver, that was for certain. Theodore’s expression softened when his eyes fell to Mai, though not by much. Instead of sharp anger, it was open confusion and though anger ran through it he let hurt wrinkle between his brows.

This … she … she was the last thing to expect. It was meant to be another normal night. Normal. Ish. He’d wanted to go home to her, not … not this.

Settling down, Theodore took a shaky breath in through his mouth. Lorcan began to speak a bit, some nonsense preamble and a general complaint that not everyone was there yet. Theodore found himself looking around as he gently lifted his foot from his shoe. He lifted it up and extended his leg underneath the table before prodding Mai’s knee with the ball of his foot. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smirking and then let his foot rest on her leg, absently prodding her with his toes.

So… she was real, then. Not a figment of his imagination unless he was prodding Ben.

He brought his gaze to her briefly and offered a light-hearted wink. His eyes were set hard, though, giving the gesture a tempestuous edge. His simmering temper was only kept docile by the smothering influence of fear that was squeezing on tight to his heart. A vein was bulging in his jaw as adrenaline pumped through him, catching him somewhere between total calm and absolute panic, making it difficult to focus on Lorcan and only making him clutch on to the arms of the chair even harder to try and keep himself in the room.

To give into selfish anger would be that: selfish. He could wait to try and get to the bottom of why in Merlin’s name she was there. He could wait to lose his temper. He loved her too much to sacrifice her life and their child's just to shout at her. But Theodore knew one thing: in all his years, after all he’d seen, nothing in the world had rendered him as scared as he was in that moment, caught between fire and a shark tank.

Bentley noticed Theodore first, and it was because of the fact that he stiffened a few chairs down that Mai looked up, and it did not matter, really, that she had felt unsure. Now, she was just beyond terrified. It looked like he might murder Ben secretly from under the table, so she looked away, genuinely doing her best to cover up the fact that she had arrived with him. Her gaze focused down on her torso as she worried her lip, ruining the slight pink tinge she had afforded it before leaving the house.

She had just reached a hand down to tug at her shirt where it covered her little bump, intending to very efficiently avoid Theodore's gaze across the table, when a sock-clad foot found her leg. She nearly gasped, looking up at him from beneath her lashes. It wasn't nearly as charming as the action would usually have been, because she was slightly annoyed that he had surprised her. But her chin lifted when he winked at her, her head tilting to the side slightly. If Mai narrowed her eyes, she didn't truly mean to.

The topics that were discussed... they just made her sick. How could Theodore stand it? Mairen did everything she could to avoid looking at Theo or Ben, and when the woman next to her asked what she was doing at the meeting, Mai replied - quietly - that she had heard about their intentions and was considering getting involved. That she just wanted to know how things were run. The woman did not seem impressed by the young redhead, but at least she didn't seem unconvinced.

At one point, one of them men slammed his hand on the table and she had to hold herself to her chair to avoid jumping. Her foot, however, reached towards Theodore's, even though she couldn't bring her eyes to meet his. Merlin, she wished he was sitting next to her. Or that he had told her what all of this was. She could have stayed home and taken care of Esme herself. Oh, how she wished she had. That would have felt far safer. All she knew was that she was never coming back to one of these. And that every time Theodore came home safe, she would be so grateful.

An image of him coming in after the next meeting practically drew her out of the room for a few minutes. The idea itself was distracting - that he would come through the door (or the floo. in this case, she saw the door) and it would be all she could do to keep from literally jumping to her feet. She wouldn't have been thinking about much else, obviously. Not after this "meeting." Her fingers would bunch up the fabric of his shirt like never before, if only to feel that he was truly there. It was, obviously, lost on her that he had done the same thing upon arriving.

It was just lucky that the meeting finished right after she forced herself to pay attention again. Was Theodore watching her? She felt someone's gaze burning into her, but she couldn't do anything about it right then. Instead of checking, she stood and waited until the people on either side of her had moved out of the way before stepping towards Ben and holding out an arm.

"Can you side-along me home?" she asked quietly, hoping nobody would ask questions.

It was the instant before her feet left the ground that Mai found his gaze again, and as soon as her toes found the carpet of his floor again, she doubled over. One hand found the arm of the nearest chair, the other curling around her stomach. Never. Never again. She hated them and she hated that he couldn't find a way out if it. But she also hated that he was about to tear her to bits because of it, too.

"Go home, Ben." She demanded, not straightening her spine or looking up to catch the relief that flooded his features. "You're needed at home, I'm sure."

"And safer," he muttered before disapparating.

Dropping Athena home took longer than imagined. Theodore was ambushed at the door by children who had been up too long, were overtired, and wanted to have cuddles with him. Despite his poor temper he acquiesced and stayed for as long as it took him to have a cup of coffee and after kisses and cuddles the children finally released him so that he could go home.

He took the Floo and stepped out into the living room, his hands immediately coming up to wipe soot from his shoulders. He peeled off his outer robe and dropped it down over the back of the sofa, his hands coming up briefly to draw over his face before scooping through the front of his hair. He tugged at the roots and sighed, the sound emerging from within him like a growl.

When he reopened his eyes, Theodore found Mai. She was exactly where she was supposed to be. Home. Safe. But she hadn’t been. He couldn’t help but cross the room to her, his feet moving of their own accord. When he was within reaching distance of her, he tugged at her, pulling her into his arms which he wound around her tightly, as though somehow she was going to slip away from him.

With her body against his again, all of the anger in Theodore evaporated. The first thought he had was how off he must have seemed to the children and he hoped that they wouldn’t ask Athena what was the matter with him. It didn’t matter how angry he’d been. He’d been bound up in it, blind with fury throughout the entirety of the meeting. He’d not heard any of it, in truth. He’d long since turned his uncle and Lorcan off, especially their bickering. He didn’t hear any of it anymore. He could feel the evil in his blood. He didn’t need to hear it.

Instead of anger, it was fear just as when he had first entered the dining room. He clung to her desperately, burying his head into the juncture of her neck where he could feel her heartbeat quickening there and the spell of her shampoo and her soap was on every inch of her. He felt as though if he held on, she wouldn’t take up and float away. If he hung onto her, maybe she would be safe.

“Don’t you dare do that again, Mai,” he told her, his voice hollow and raw. “Don’t you ever turn up at that manor again, you hear me?” He lifted his head from her neck and fixed her with a firm look. His hand found her cheek and he held her carefully, as though somehow she’d splinter in his hands like cracked porcelain.

“Mai…” he whispered, his eyes searching through hers. “I don’t know what you were thinking but I … I’m sorry,” his voice broke over his breath and his shoulder rose in a shudder. “I should have said … I should have done something to … We should have left so you didn’t have to hear any of that.” Theodore shook his head and brought his lips to her forehead before resting his against hers.

“Please don’t … don’t do that again,” he murmured, pulling her closer to him. “I love you, Mai,” he felt his heart constrict in his chest as the truth of the words rumbled through him. “And I can’t lose you. Esme can’t lose you. And I can’t protect you there. From them. I can’t. I don’t … I … just … don’t. I’ll tell you everything about the meetings … just please don’t be there. I couldn’t bear it if something happened … if they got volatile or if the Ministry came … I can’t lose you.”

Mai had never really found a reason to attribute adjectives to the concept of doing chores. But now she was washing dishes... Angrily. Where was he? She was still scared and still anxious but she was getting really annoyed at his absence, too. When there was nothing else to scrub at, she switched off the water and turned towards the stairs. She had just made it a few steps when she heard the floo roar to life, and Mai rushed to stand in front of him.

She wasn't really sure what he would allow after everything, so she just watched nervously as he found her and crossed the room towards her. When his touch found her skin, she was done for. If she had been stronger, she might've torn the shirt he had on just from the desperate and helpless say she began pulling at it.

All she could do was nod at his question, and try to keep her eyes from tearing up a little. "I won't, I- I promise," she whispered in return. She wanted to ask and to say so many things, but he started again and she could only scrunch up her features in fear and concern.

She considered cutting in to explain exactly why she had done it, but she could practically feel the fear in him, just as it bounced beneath her skin and made itself known. Her eyes closed at his declaration of love, even though it wasn't the first time she had heard it, and she only opened them again when he had finished.

"Don't- I mean... You can't say stuff like that! The Ministry might show up? They might decide they're angry enough to kill each other and lose a person on their side? Theo, why would you-?" A frustration sigh escaped and she shook herself a little bit to get her mind under control.

"I cannot believe you agree with them. I don't. Why would you just- just sit there and let them think that's okay? What if you pissed them off and they came here instead? I won't know what to do, Theo!"

Ah. There were the tears.

"I won't know how to protect Esme from them. I had to-! I had to know what to expect and I just... I hate them. I shouldn't say that but I do! They're awful. I couldn't go back even if I wanted to. But I wish so badly that you wouldn't go, either. And I know, you have some... responsibility or whatever. But I've never been so scared in my life."

Not even when Scorpius left, she wanted to say. But that was a weird sort of blow, she assumed, and didn't seem very fair. Instead, she forced herself to stop rambling and sniffled a little bit. "I'm sorry," she whispered finally, peeking up at him. "I just needed to understand. I want you to be safe. And I want you to always come back to me and I-"

Mai shook her head, unsure what else to offer by way of explanation. So she just looked at him properly for the first time, registering the truth behind his words. Typically she was never one to assume anything, but she could see that he really did believe that he loved her. And that was why he was so terrified. Mai wondered briefly if she looked the same way, but she didn't linger on that thought. Her hands drew up, across the fabric of his shirt, to take his face in her hands as he had done to her.

"I love you," she promised firmly. "...You'd better be careful."

When he was younger, Theodore had thought that the reason why his mother and his grandmother(s) weren’t entitled to be in on Rookwood business was because they were stupid girls who didn’t understand. Well, that’s what his brother said anyhow. When he got a bit older, he was adamant that it was because his father and his grandfather were too bigoted to appreciate the good that they could do. At that time, it truly rankled with him. Now, though … now he understood. It wasn’t because they were stupid or because his father and grandfather were bigoted – though, they were mind you – it was because putting them in that position put them in danger and being utterly incapable of doing anything to save them was horrifying to the very core. It left the very people who made them whole exposed and vulnerable. Because, after all, who were they without the women they loved? Hollow murderers, really.

He didn’t doubt Mai. Not for a second. He knew that with time she could have accustomed herself to it all if she’d really wanted to. If she’d really wanted it, there was nothing he could have or should have done to try and stop her. He’d been instinctive: close ranks, protect, and survive. Once the panic began to subside he wondered if he was wrong to forbid it her. As she spoke, though, he understood. His thumbs felt for her cheeks, wiping away the tears. He found himself nodding, agreeing, wishing that he could just go and never return to them. It was too late for that, though. His heart was too black, his soul torn to pieces. A hollow murderer but for her. And he had to do it for Athena, for the Order, too.

“I’ve been playing their game for a long time, beautiful,” he murmured. “I don’t know that I ever agreed with them, in truth. I was just a stupid little boy trying to get my father to approve of me. Just like my uncle.” Theodore grimaced, imagining one of Lionel’s children trying to explain the same in twenty-odd years’ time. Like my uncle. “I can’t do anything about it now. The best thing that I can do is feed information back to the Order. That’s what’s going to stop them eventually. I promise you that.”

He smiled a little. “I’m always going to come back to you, Mai.” He turned his face into her palm to brush his lips against it. “I’m never going to be gone for long.”

He nudged his nose against hers and lightened his voice a little as he brought up a hand to rub away the lingering tears, telling her that “I can show you a good few spells that will do you the trick here. Though, here …” Theodore straightened up, looking around. “I made this place a fortress a long time ago. The wards are aggressive – they’ll keep out anyone the inhabitants perceive as a threat by any means possible. You are safe here. Our family is safe here.”

He kissed her, then. It was chaste but lingering – a physical ‘I love you.’ When he pulled away he dropped his hands to hers and lifted one to kiss the back before turning and moving into the kitchen. He took their mugs off of the hooks. He put them down on the side and got out a saucepan. In a well-practised fashion he took milk from the fridge and poured a glug into the pan before adding a vanilla pod and a cinnamon stick from the little pots he had in the cupboard. After replacing it all back into their respective homes he dug out some chocolate and smashed it against the countertop, ready to put in with the milk.

“Do you want to go up and get changed, love?” He asked her gently, his lips finding her temple as one arm wound around her, his hand coming to cradle the swell of their child. “There are blankets on that sofa with our names on it and hot chocolate to drink.” He smiled, the action becoming easier now the hold of D’Eath Manor was extricating itself from him. They’d be okay. Ultimately, there was no other way for them to be. This was one woman he knew he could no longer do without – and he had been fooling himself for too long thinking the opposite.