"Being here without you is like I'm waking up to only half a blue sky, kinda there but not quite."

Her cheeks flamed, and Mairen discerned that she would likely never grow tired of Theodore’s compliments. Nor would she ever stop being surprised by them, it seemed. Mind, she hadn’t even known him for a full year yet, so perhaps that wasn’t true. She desperately hoped that it was more to do with the man himself than the words he spoke. After all, other people complimented her now and again, but when Theo did so, it felt more sincere and more flattering. The fact that he could think those things were true about her made her stomach flip giddily.

His assurances were appreciated, but his next comment threw her off, sending confusion across her features and raising a gentle, “…Theo?”

The redhead followed him nonetheless, more concerned with what might be upsetting him than with quickly sinking into her chair. It probably wasn’t helpful, but Mai couldn’t help but follow him with her eyes, a worried expression stuck on her features. He started off his attempted speech with a negative and her shoulders sank a bit as a bit of uncertainty hit her. But he had gone to somewhat extreme lengths for whatever this was, so surely he wasn’t going to say something that hurt her. All she could really do was watch him and try not to fidget.

She nearly jumped when he provided a drink for them, but she was thrilled, actually, because she was given the chance to reach for it and thus have something to do with her hands. It also made it less likely that she would just sit there rolling her lips together or chewing on the lower one. Part of her wished they were having this conversation on a couch, or at least next to each other, because all she wanted was to reach out and touch him. She wasn’t confident that it would help, in truth, but it would have comforted her considering she still wasn’t sure what he was trying to say.

But then he started on the story of Esme’s mother, and Mairen found herself impossibly happy that she had never asked about it. It meant much more to her that he was willing to tell the story without having been pushed into it. Her heart broke a little for Esme, and a bit of an ache did register for Cressida, despite never having met the woman. She didn’t see what was so different about her as compared to Cressida, but she supposed that maybe it was just that time had changed him as it had her. The difference, Mai supposed, was that he had changed for the better.

A gentle smile tugged at the left side of her mouth, but as he kept on, Mai became a bit more anxious. She wasn’t sure what exactly he was after, but it sounded like he might be trying to ask her something that she didn’t realize he was prepared for. It wasn’t true to say that she had not thought of it, given their situation, but despite how much she really did care for him, she was afraid to claim that she loved him. The last time she had said so, the other person had left her, after all. She couldn’t expect things to be any different this time, despite how badly she hoped for it.

He took her hand after she set her glass down, and she gave him a gentle, nervous squeeze in return. There was that bit of contact she had been so desperate for, and for that she was grateful. Theodore was being really quite comforting in the way he tried to convince her that he actually wasn’t going to be like Scorpius at all. He wasn’t going to leave her now that she needed him most. She could feel her eyes brimming with tears, and her chest rose and fell with the emotion as it stirred within her.

He dropped her hand, and Mai let it fall back to the table, where the other came up to lace her fingers together. He held up the box, though, and her mouth fell open, her eyes stuck on his. Was she supposed to be staring at the ring? She was too caught up in listening to him speak, and in trying to memorize what he looked like in that moment.

Her pulse was thundering through her, and she couldn’t fathom what she would possibly say if he asked what she expected him to. But he didn’t at first, instead choosing to flatter her again and set her cheeks aflame once more. “Theo-“ she attempted, the name coming out at nothing more than a whisper. And when he suggested that he would have done more for an actual proposal, she shook her head and cut in with, “more than this?” She couldn’t even picture it. She would never have imagined Theodore – or anyone, for that matter – would do something even this nice for her. Yet, here she was. So she couldn’t help but get absurdly giddy about the possibility of it.

All she wanted was to kiss him, but he kept on and she felt a more shocked expression take over instead. He wanted her to go with him to a ball? She had no problem with dressing up, particularly now that she apparently had some fancy jewelry to don as well. But she hadn’t so much as met his parents, so how was she supposed know how to act? She nodded, though, hoping to reassure him, finally looking down to stare at it all. The last bits were much more up her alley, and she very nearly smirked at his approval of her outfit.

“Honey,” she breathed finally, “I- I’ll admit that I’m a bit surprised. I didn’t expect anything like this, you know.” She pushed back her chair, breaking form a bit to walk around the table and stand beside him. A bemused smirk crossed her features before she sat herself in his lap, facing him. One hand found his cheek and Mai lifted the other to his neck. “Theo, you are amazing. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, even if you haven’t realized it. I only recently have, and I’m so glad for it. So thankful. And I’m not at all worried about you. I promise I’m not. You love that little girl so much, and there’s no way you won’t love our new little one. I know you will, sweetheart. I love Esme, too. And-” she drew in a breath, trying to summon her Gryffindor courage, “Theodore, I- I love you. I’m terrified, and I know it’s kind of mental to say it now instead of before all of this, but it’s true. I do.”

There had been a few times in his life when Theodore Rookwood had known genuine terror – white in the face, sweat down his back terror. It was pure and unadulterated. This was one of those times. As he studied Mai’s face he searched desperately for approval and it was only really when she came to sit in his lap and his arms went around her middle, his face coming to press against her belly, his lips pressing a kiss there through her dress.

When Theodore lifted his head again and met his redhead’s gaze, his breath caught at the back of his throat. A smile grew on his face, lifting up from the sides of his lips through his features to his eyes which flickered with emotion in the candlelight. He hugged her close to him and brought one arm underneath her legs before tipping her back, his other arm going underneath her back so that, though still sat, she was dipped enough for him to kiss her properly.

“And I you,” he murmured against her mouth. Then he kissed her properly-properly. It was slow and thorough and thought into it he infused all of the love he held for her, he also found his hands wandering as he lifted her back up right-ways again, the one draped over her legs sliding up them as his hunger turned from material to something a little bit more – or, at least he thought – profound. A silent request and he deepened the kiss, drawing his fingers across her cheekbone before cupping his hand around her jaw.

When Theodore finally drew his lips away, peppering her with two last chaste kisses, he sat back a little more heavily against the chair and smiled contently, his hand twirling away some loose tendrils of hair.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, bringing her hand to his lips. “You deserve the world, Mairen Tierney. If I make you happy then I am the happiest man on earth.” He popped a kiss to her index finger and then loosely linked them together. “Would you like to see the last bit of your surprise and take dinner somewhere a little warmer?” He offered.

Theodore picked Mai up, merely by the virtue of having her in his arms already, and he curled her in against his chest as he so often, so easily, did with Esme – though Mai was longer than their daughter by a long way but he made it work. He twinkled his fingers ahead and more candles lit the way up a winding path which, not far from where they were, buried within a copse, would lead them to the cottage he’d spent the afternoon painstakingly renovating in order to make perfect for that evening – to make perfect for her.

“Do you want to walk or can I keep you like this?” He asked with a wry smile.

A bit of a squeak escaped as Theodore tipped her backwards, her arms wrapping around his neck. She didn't really expect him to say anything, so when he offered the sentiment in return, she felt like crying again. Her hand cradled his cheek, and Mai did all she could to match the fervor of his kiss. A gasp parted her lips as his hand drifted upwards, and she was reluctant to let him pull away. But the feeling of just holding him as he held her was enough to make up for the loss. She probably would have blushed at the compliment if it wasn't for the fact that he then said her name and she realized that, someday, she would have the same last name as the man she was curled up against. There was a part of her that was absolutely frightened and confused as to how they had gotten to that point.

But she didn't care a whit, provided Theodore would be there to hold onto her, just like he was in that moment. She wanted it for always. This, she determined, was what she'd wanted. But, equally, it surprised her that she'd not seen it coming.

After a pause, she realized that, if Theodore had been set on Hallie and that had gone wrong, things could go just as badly for her. It made her heart clench and her body tense. If that day came, Mairen wasn't remotely sure what she would do. Weep, probably, like a sailor's wife staring at a storm. Except she would be without husband, and thus even more alone.

She held tight to him as he stood, and her mouth opened in surprise again when she realized there was something else waiting for her. Again, she murmured that it was all just too much. "Wait," she added suddenly, her fingers spreading over his chest so that her palm rested over his heart. "You forgot." Mai pointed to the ring box sheepishly, wanting the feel of it around her finger. She wanted to twirl it around while she worked - or pretended to look over files, if nothing else - and although she wasn't entirely sure what the thing truly stood for, it was immediately the most important thing she could call hers. Perhaps besides Theodore and his daughter. But it was the most important symbol, if nothing else.

"I don't mind walking," she clarified belatedly, "but I'm not exactly complaining." A broad smile arced across her face, and Mai tilted her head so she could drop a kiss to the juncture of his jaw and his neck. "Just, Theo, know that you don't need to do anything more over the top for the real thing. You're the only person I know who would do something like this, and it's just another reason why I love you so much. But I didn't expect anything from you. And that hasn't really changed. I hope for things, but I don't lie in wait of them. It's you that I want. And Esme. Not a fantastic story about how it happened or anything. We've got ages and ages to get there, and even longer to make memories. And those will be worth plenty enough for me."

“I did forget,” Theodore conceded, leaning his face down to hers to nip at the end of her nose playfully with his teeth.

He was in no mood to release her yet. The candles were burning down and though he was hungry, he knew that the food he’d wanted to eat on the bridge with her would be waiting at the second part of the surprise. He leaned down to the table and scooped up the ring box. The House Elf he’d enlisted for help would see to the rest and as he readjusted his hold on her, she began to speak, his heartbeat flittering in his chest as her mouth found the skin of his neck.

“Temptress,” he muttered under his breath, smiling at her despite himself. “Ah, but you see … I fancy a great story because if I manage to instil in our baby girl an unreasonable set of expectations in her men or … I guess, in her women, both terrify me equally mind, then maybe she’ll never get married and she’ll spare me those grey hairs, hm?” He grinned, winking at her before adding, “and anyway, I want to spoil you rotten. You deserve it.”

And with that, Theodore began to walk along the winding path. A candle came on more or less with every step, igniting the woods in brilliant light that made it seem like something out of a fairy tale. And a fairy tale it was – particularly the cottage which he soon approached, coming down a slippery bit of path he had to be careful on because he didn’t want to drop his redhead. But, with a tap to her hip, he nodded forward an sure enough there was a little cottage, like something out of a book.

Its roof was thatched, its walls whitewashed. Flowers were absolutely everywhere and it seemed like a little fairy nook where sprites might well hide. The windows were few but they were latticed and were glowing with candlelight of their own. The sound of birds in the trees lingered on, evidence of summer’s burgeoning influence despite the chill in the air, and as he drew up to the door, Theodore fluttered a bit of magic towards it, opening it so that he could carry Mai over the threshold.

It was a tiny cottage, the main room made up of kitchen-diner and living room in an open plan fashion. There was one diverting corridor which on one side was a bathroom and a small storage closet and on the other a bedroom. Theirs for the night. It was all done in a homey, wood finish and with a crackling fire and candles, again, all over the place, protected by little wards that would stop them setting fire to anything – or anyone for that matter – it was idyllic all over again and even more beautiful in daylight.

Gently, mindful of making sure he set her down properly, Theodore lowered Mai to her feet and he held up the box, taking hold of her left hand, loose in his right one. He pulled the box open and took out the ring. He threw the box towards one of the arm chairs by the fire and held up the ring. He lifted her hand and with the upmost care he slid the ring over the tip of her finger and down its column, the metal and jewels fitting perfectly around her. He then brought his lips to her knuckles and couldn’t help but smile.

“There,” he declared quietly. “You’re all mine.”

Dinner was, as promised, waiting and there was dessert in the fridge. Theodore had decided to go for something relatively simple – a carbonara – but he’d not forgotten the egg on the top. He took up her hand again and led her to the table in the window. It’d be most beautiful in the daytime, he was sure, but for now it was just as intimate. He opened the chair out for her to sit and after tucking in went to retrieve the plates. He set them down and clicked his fingers, making the champagne flutes reappear. The other boxes appeared, then, too, landing neatly on the counter and Theodore smiled in their direction. He returned his eyes to Mai where the belonged - after all they were now solely for her and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

“Good surprise?”

Mairen supposed that perhaps she should have said something on their walk up to the little house, but she really couldn't find anything that was worth interrupting the moment for. When he set her down, she could feel the excitement and impatience swirling through her because she could tell exactly what was coming next. And, to be quite honest, now that the moment had come, she was a little bit nervous about it. The ring he was offering meant she could have days like this one forever if she didn't mess it up, and she couldn't say why but the idea of his leaving made her just want to curl up.

This, somehow, weighed more heavily on her than her engagement to Scorpius. Perhaps because Scorpius hadn't really been given much of a choice in the matter, when it came down to it. This was something Theodore had chosen, something he wanted, and something she wasn't expecting. It wasn't as though she had ever spoken to Cressida in order to understand what the other woman thought about everything that had happened. And Mai hadn't yet talked to Hallie to know how her co-worker felt about it all. But this new sort of life she was starting, it just felt important in a way that nothing else had.

She wanted to be able to come home and call Esme 'theirs' as easily as Theodore seemed able to. She wanted to come back from long work trips and know that he still wanted her there; that he hadn't decided the waiting was too much and the distance was too great, and that someone else hadn't shown up for him to look at and think, 'you know, Mai might show up at some point, but this person is here now and that's way better.' She needed that security and that confidence in what they had, and Theodore was trying to give it to her. Mai wasn't sure that she had ever felt so loved by anyone. "Yours," she promised gently, nodding once.

A couple of tears escaped, sliding down her cheek, so she ducked her chin and curled herself around his torso in an attempt to hide it. They were happy tears, to be sure, but she seemed to be having a particularly emotional mess of an evening, didn't she? Her left arm wrapped around his middle while her other hand reached for his shoulder blade. She perhaps would have tried for his shoulder entirely, but she was a good deal shorter than Theodore, despite her heels and being slightly taller than most women her age. Regardless, that arm created a sort of perpendicular line up from her left one, and she was happy just to hold him there for a moment. She wasn't at all a hugger, usually, unless it came to Esme, so she tried to quickly rein in her excess of emotion and step back, looking up at him with a sort of chagrined smile.

So it was to the table that they went next, and Mai did her best not to tap her feet a bit while she waited for him to sit with her. It felt a bit awkward to be sitting there, not helping at all. When he returned though, she nodded more firmly than she had earlier, a smile pulling at her cheeks. As ever, Theodore's dinner was planned brilliantly, and executed so well she nearly paused to wonder if he had enlisted help. But she didn't think him the sort to do that when he had so meticulously worried after each part of the evening otherwise.

After a time, though, she registered that now they would definitely have to see their parents. Oddly, she was actually more worried about hers than his. Brea had a way of making people change their mind about her, and Mairen didn't want it to happen again. For a moment, she thought about suggesting that they bring Esme with them as a buffer, but that seemed like a terrible idea in hindsight. So she kept that to herself, instead pushing around what was left of her food and glancing up at him nervously.

"Theo?" she began finally. "Can I ask you something?"

There was a bit of hesitation within her, a few moments of wondering whether or not she could truly get away with asking it and somehow not get herself into trouble or upset anything. So she waited until he had given her some sort of go-ahead before deciding to just put it out there.

"It isn't very kind for me to put you on the spot or anything, but... Can I ask why you wanted to do all of this? I mean, you made it clear that you don't feel obligated to ask me, and I can't honestly say that I would change my answer either way. I'm just... I'm not sure I understand why you're so set on this," she frowned, fully aware that she probably sounded somewhere between needy and annoying. She couldn't quite figure how to finish off her attempted question that wasn't so much a question as a statement, so she just let out a quiet, "or on me."

The Rookwood’s spine unfurled and the wood of the chair cracked and whined a little bit as he deposited himself back against it to appraise the redhead before him. He wished he could have taken the time to hold her for longer when they’d been stood. He wished he’d had the presence of mind to kiss the tears from her cheeks. He reached out, opening his hand for her to take, and smiled a little bit, just a quick hesitant flash of the side of his mouth in agreement that, yes, she could ask him something. She could ask him for something, too, if she liked. She could ask him for the moon in the sky and regardless of whether Millie thought Keiran had hung it there, Theo would take it down, put it in a box and present it to Mai if he knew she’d smile.

“Come here,” he put down his fork and hand a mouthful of the water before getting to his feet, lifting her hand and her arm into the air. He pulled her up into his arms and smiled as one wormed around her waist and the other reached up to comb a lock of her hair behind her ear. “You are a wonderful woman,” he murmured, taking up her hand and bringing it to his lips. “And I know when I am completely and utterly punching above my weight.” His smile grew wry. “And you can’t blame a bloke for wanting to keep something he doesn’t deserve because second to his daughter she’s probably the best thing that happened to him.”

He took her other hand and stepped back around the sofa, bringing them onto the rug in front of the fireplace. He extricated their fingers from one another and he settled his hands over her hips as he leaned down and tenderly caught his lips in hers. He then knew that he couldn’t just tell her. No, he had to show her. Twinkling his fingers, he summoned a mixture of duvets and pillows which strew themselves across the floor and very, very carefully he lowered her down against them.

“You make me want to be a better person, Mai.” He murmured, his lips against her jaw. “Because for the first time I really feel as though I have a family and it’s something I want to protect. I am set on you because you’re an important part of that family and I need you. And coming home to someone who’s actually awake and pleased to see me and who I can’t wait to go home to. It’s just … it’s like a dream and I suppose I’m not willing to give it up. Does that makes sense?”

Mairen didn't really understand, as much as she genuinely wanted to. Nothing in her could confirm the words he said, but he was being so straightforward, so frank about his feelings, that she didn't want to fight him on it. She wanted him to be right, wanted him to be speaking honestly. Mai felt like she trusted him, but she had been told pretty words like those before by people who just left her. Never had they been so articulate or endearing, though. Never had she before felt as though her heart would burst just from somebody's words.

His explanation was truly impressive. There was magic in it. There was love. She just wished that she could explain to him why she was so afraid. The good thing, though, was that Theodore made her feel safe, where others hadn't.

"You've no idea how highly I think of you, Theo. And, what you've said... it's quite possibly the most wonderful thing I've ever heard. I am, by the way, incredibly happy to see you. Always," Mai promised, her fingers reaching for his cheek. "I can't claim that I know every part of you yet, but I trust you. I have... trouble doing that, but it's easy with you. Thank you."

Once she quieted down and wriggled a bit into the pillows he had set out, she realized just how absurdly romantic he was being. Obviously, that much had registered before, but she turned onto her side a little, her free hand sliding up his arm to his neck. "You're my favorite part of the day," she whispered, unable to find any other way to properly explain to him just how lost she would feel without him. "I adore Esme - you know that. But it doesn't feel quite right until you're there, too."

Mai leaned up, seeking out his lips with her own. A sort of chill made the hair on her arms stand on end, but at the same time, the fire warmed one side while she was tucked against Theodore on the other. She rapidly came to the conclusion that the feeling came from knowing full well where they were headed, and the realization that, if she understood the plan correctly, they were to be allowed a quiet morning the next day. She would never complain about Esme running in to wake them, but mornings like that seemed like a precious commodity, especially given what they would be experiencing in a few months. She couldn't really predict how it would go, but she wasn't nearly as afraid of it anymore. On the contrary, Mai merely found herself looking forward to it - all of it. The sleepless nights, the days where she would most certainly be driven mad. The first words, steps, and even the first day of school. Those pictures, though - now they all included Theodore and Esme, and for once she felt like her future might actually be set.

“You’ve no idea how highly I think of you, Theo.”

It was a mistake. He should have told her as much. She had made a mistake to trust him. She had made a mistake to trust him with her heart. She had made a mistake to trust him with their child; their children. He hated playing protector of Athena when she could have confessed to Albus she was scared and didn’t want to be a part of the Death Eaters anymore. She had her out if she wanted it. More so than that he hated playing errand boy for the Order. He had no idea how Ben stood it. He truly had no idea how Lorcan didn’t know and Theodore would have loved to know why he hadn’t joined the cast of ghosts in the family mausoleum.

He’d taken longer. After dropping Athena home, hanging about the Order and trying to form enough words to help feed information back to them was the second port of call. Thirdly, and he didn’t know how, he found himself being fussed over by Baldric who was feeding him hot cocoa that tasted like Theodore’s own recipe and delicious shortbread biscuits were being forced between his lips, his cheeks being pinched and rum added to the cocoa in order to get some life back into him. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t breathe. All he could see was Ellie.

Worse, behind every blinking eyelid he could see Mai and Esme.

When Baldric finally let him go, reluctant and dithering like a mother hen unsure which chick to be more worried about, Theodore picked his way home. The house felt empty when he opened the front door. It was dark and all sign of life was gone. He could feel the warmth of the presence of his girls, though, and he closed the door as softly as possible, almost resigned to the fact that he was found out regardless of which way he spun his rhetoric. He supposed it was better that it was chocolate on his breath, albeit with some rum involved, and not whisky.

Toeing off his shoes, Theodore abandoned them in the shoe box by the door. He hung up his coat on the peg above and then made his way upstairs, his mind continuing to churn like a murky sea as his fingers picked at the buttons on his shirt. When he entered the master bedroom, both girls were there, snuggled under the sheets with the heavier duvet draped over their legs. Theodore felt his heart warm and strengthen and all of the pain was simultaneously soothed and doubled. He was so ready to abandon the Death Eaters now, looking at them, but he was stuck. He felt almost irrevocably stuck. He was floundering in the water. Drowning.

Abandoning his clothes in the hamper, Theodore found himself left in only his boxers and he pulled his sleeping t-shirt off of the back of the chair in front of the dressing he’d restored. It had come from the attic, a beautiful old Georgian piece which had been left over from when he’d bought the house. A few Sundays spent lovingly bringing it back up to scratch had been his way of tempting Mai to stay permanently with him in the master room. He didn’t know if he’d really succeeded, mind you, but he’d given it a good go and the fact that she was there at all when he finally crawled into bed and drew up against her back gave him great cause for hope, he liked to think.

“I love you,” he whispered into her hair, closing his eyes against the splintering threat of tears. His hand stretched forward to rest on the crown of Esme’s head and with his arms around them both, somehow feeling as though he could protect them there like that, Theodore finally found himself, at the crack of dawn almost, drifting off to sleep.

It was Friday again, finally, and it took until the end of the work day for her to properly realize it. Upon leaving her room and being wished a lovely weekend by the blonde outside of Ms. Cabot's office, Mai found herself grinning the entirety of her short trip home. Nothing seemed particularly abnormal that evening, but at around 3 a.m., she woke to find that Theodore had gone off somewhere. At first, she intended to just roll over, assuming that he had gotten up for a drink or something. But she rapidly discovered that she needed to get a drink, herself. After thinking about it, the need registered properly and drove her out from beneath the sheets.

The bathroom light wasn't on, and curiosity convinced the redhead to check downstairs and see if Theodore was up working on something or perhaps going for something stronger. She had failed to register any anxiety, if that was the case, and the worry overtook her and she increased her pace accordingly.

But she reached the Kitching area and realized that the light was not on. Her brow furrowed, and for the first time, she checked the clock. Immediately, that confusion turned into irritation. She procured herself a glass of water nonetheless, slowly but surely making her way back upstairs before peeking into Esme's room. Mairen wouldn't have put it past Theodore to be inside, especially if the little girl had awoken from distasteful dreams or things along that line. Her initial thought was that perhaps he hadn't wanted to wake her. A disappointed sigh escaped through her nose when she realized he was not there, either.

Of all the strange times for him to disappear... A part of her wanted to be sat up in bed, arms crossed and lamp light on to give him a stern glare when he returned. For a time, she seriously considered it. But more than anything else, she was exhausted. She was just turning around to return to Theodore's room - theirs, now, sort of. There were days when she still fell asleep in the spare room, but those mostly came from attempts to work on cases somewhere that she couldn't be distracted. Confusion and all sorts of terrible and hurtful assumptions froze her to her spot, and suddenly a lamp light turned on from behind her.

Surprised, Mai looked up to see that Esme was awake and tiredly rubbing at her eyes. Even before the question of why the new mother-figure in her life was standing in her doorway, Mai was trying to avoid arousing any worry or suspicion. Her feet no longer felt stuck, and she quickly moved to the little girl's side, sinking onto the bed and reaching a hand out to brush away the slight bed-head that had tousled it.

"Hey, honey," she murmured, offering the warmest smile she could muster. "Daddy had to go somewhere, so he's not home just yet," she attempted gently. "Why don't you come and stay with me tonight, hmm? You can bring Godric if you like."

And so the girls returned to Theodore's bedroom, wrapping themselves into the blankets there. When the question of where he had gone came up, Mai could only shrug and reply that, if he had gone out so late, it must have been important to him. A little bit more chatter led to Esme yawning and curling closer to Mai's bump, her forehead pressed into the lawyer's shoulder. It would be a good while before the redhead actually found her way to sleep, but in the meantime, she hummed a bit of Esme's favorite tune and pulled the blankets closer around them.

Mai had not intended to go to work that Saturday. Usually, it just didn't seem necessary. She could do research from home if needed, and also got to spend time with her favorite people. But there was a part of her that was furious. Particularly when she woke for need of the bathroom and found herself trapped between Esme, who she had brought in willingly, and Theodore after he had apparently - finally - returned. Irritation took her features once more, and Mai found herself thankful that Esme wasn't awake to register it. Unsurprisingly, her Rookwoods were out cold, and it was all she could do to keep from pushing him away as she tried to remove his arm. She had no idea how long he had been asleep, but she wasn't exactly interested in finding out unless he planned on speaking up for himself.

As it were, her immediate idea was to grab work clothes and dart into the bathroom to change and escape before he realized she was gone. So she lifted his arm and began wiggling away, dropping it almost carelessly behind her.

The inability of Theodore Rookwood to wake from sleep on any other terms but his own unless he was being shaken awake was an infamous trait of his. After a night such as the one that had taken place with him trapped in the midst, it would be a few days before he could sleep through a hurricane. He was full of fitful naps and nightmares that he’d long learned to button between his lips to stifle the cries that wanted to wriggle out. As such, he’d not gotten any true rest even if the hammering of his heart had slowed. He knew, though, when Mai had gotten up as panic set in once more.

Esme rolled over, curling into the waiting embrace of her father. Theodore’s eyes flickered open and he looked round, hoping that Mai had gotten up from between the Rookwoods for something to drink. He couldn’t see her immediately and closed his eyes, trying to will himself despite the exhaustion in his bones to get up and find her. He curled his head into his daughter, whining softly against her hair, and he sighed, cuddling her tightly to him before gently releasing her and wrapping her up in the sheets, handing her Godric to cuddle once more for the moment as he fully intended on going back to bed – hopefully with Mai, too.

“Baby?” Theo mumbled, lifting knuckles to rap gently at the bathroom door. No reply. Theodore sighed and let his forehead rest briefly against the door.

His eyes flicked to his side. His hand was shaking. Trembling, in fact, with every flex of his nerves. He inhaled sharply through his mouth and pushed away from the door, his feet carrying him downstairs and then down the second flight into the main rooms that they inhabited. His hand steadied enough to curl around the handle of one of the drawers and he pulled it open roughly. Inside was a packet of cigarettes, new, and a lighter. It was all he wanted, all he needed, but he started making tea first.

He left a warming charm on Mai’s when he went to the back door. He unlocked and opened it up and leaned heavily against the frame before lighting the cigarette. It felt weird, the flush of smoke in his lungs again. It had the effect he was looking for, though. He knew he’d probably only have one and then forget for a while what it felt like to be a compulsive drinker and smoker. He’d given up one for the sake of his daughter. The other was more bred into him, he felt. After a night like he’d had, though, he didn’t even think Esme, if she could understand, would begrudge him it.

As Theodore exhaled a chest of smoke, the world began to awaken. Birds began to sing and cars began to rumble in the distance. But all Theodore could think about was the pain his chest, knowing what was coming.