"Being here without you is like I'm waking up to only half a blue sky, kinda there but not quite."

Her stomach had started to settle, but the worry remained, and that anxiety refused to allow her any peace. So it was on the couch that she found herself, her fingers running through Esme's hair. She felt a bit bad, considering there was still a chance that she could affect the little girl with whatever she had. But it seemed that the brunette had no intention of moving away, and something was truly settling about that. Although Esme likely didn't read into it as much as Mairen herself did, the redhead took it as a pretty good sign regarding her place in Esme's life. Even illness couldn't scare the little girl. Granted, they didn't know what it was, and there were worse things than being sick. But the warm smile she gave Esme upon hearing Theodore talking to the new arrival was one of appreciation and, not even close to being hidden beneath the surface, there was love.

Mairen looked up, her eyebrows lifting slightly at the sight of the blonde woman. Despite the fact that this Vic seemed rather put out, Mai couldn't help but feel uneasy about the fact that Theodore had previously referred to her as 'his.' What on Earth did that mean? She couldn't have known what title Theo had given Victoire regarding what she meant to him, which perhaps would have helped her feel less awkward about the whole thing.

Pulling her knees a bit closer to her chest, Mairen sent Theodore a confused expression as he carried Esme off, though it had nothing to do with wondering where they were off to. She thought the animals were rather cute, albeit annoying. She was mostly hoping that Esme wouldn't start impersonating the little squeaks they made almost incessantly. That would likely have done her in - especially after everything else that morning.

Her gaze turned on Vic when she sat down, and Mairen turned off the television in an attempted show of politeness. She actually had no clue what program was on after having more or less stared off into space for the majority of their time on the couch. Probably a children's show, she assumed, the thought interrupted as Vic began speaking.

She felt silly, but Mai could feel that her eyes were wide and slightly fearful, despite the implied assurance that nothing would go wrong. Perhaps it was the fact that the redhead had no clue who the blonde was. With healers in hospitals, the idea of their being a stranger to her did not seem to matter as much. The setting helped, to be sure. This felt weirdly personal, and she didn't care for it.

"I- yes, of course," she agreed finally, her tone lacking the strength and confidence she preferred to exude normally. Particularly around strangers. But it appeared that strength had abandoned her for the morning. Mai held her hand out, taking the vial from Vic carefully. Raising it to her lips, she tensed, expecting something unpleasant tasting, but took it as was expected of her.

"You want me to list off the symptoms?" she asked after a moment, having confused the instructions a bit in her mind while she was attempting to get used to the situation at hand. And, to be fair, she had been a bit out of it all morning, wondering what had happened to her. "I, um, I woke suddenly, and felt nauseous. I threw up," she blushed, looking down at her hands. It probably sounded so simple to the healer in front of her, though Mairen had always prided herself on knowing which words to use in writing a document or arguing her point. Her nose scrunched up a bit at the memory and she shook her head before continuing.

"I suppose the queasiness was the main part. But from what I can tell, and what they've told me, I was pretty pale at the start. Not that I'm not fairly pale usually. But, you know, more so today. I'm not sure what caused it to come on so suddenly. I very rarely feel ill, and even then I can typically ignore it enough to get things done. It's just odd," she conceded, tilting her head to the side, "because I thought it was a food thing, but his daughter ate the same thing I did last night, and she's feeling fine."

Sickness was not indicative of anything, really, in Victoire’s point of view. If it was nothing, she was more than tempted to hex Theodore for getting her up on the weekend for nothing at all. If he was worried, though, it was definitely because of what Mai said at the end about not being ill often and the paleness that she was being told she was being reduced to. There was only a faint bit of colour in her now and even that wasn’t particularly encouraging. Nevertheless, there was more to be explored yet and Victoire was determined to get to the bottom of it – if only because hexing him would get her sacked.

When the diagnostic potion began to work, glowing a faint pink around the abdominal area, Victoire felt as though she hadn’t been really helped any more than before. The symptoms were vague but she decided to note them down and then began to probe for any more, inquiring after things that might have also been out of the norm such as fatigue, dizziness, and aversion to food, the answers to which Victoire scribbled down on a notepad in one column, the other being left for her to suggest to herself what it might be and she went through a number of different things before arriving one particular option that gave her pause.

The blonde witch looked up and then down again, rolling her pencil in her fingers wonderingly. She put her things down and then got up, returning to her bag to have a rifle inside to see if she had the potion she wanted to hand. It wasn’t the tastiest thing in the world, so she’d been told. It was sickly sweet, apparently, and not at all in a pleasant sort of way even initially. Yet, she took the stopper out of it and encouraged Mai to drink, taking her seat once more to see what would happen. Just like the diagnostic potion from before it took a little while to enact and by the time that it did, Theodore and Esme had already returned, the latter running upstairs to get some toys – which she announced to all of them, rousing smiles – while the former began to make drinks.

When it glowed its bright gold, Victoire circled the one solution she’d found that made sense and she privately congratulated herself for working it out. She looked at Mai and let a fuller smile light up her features, immediately putting Theodore, across the room, on the protective offensive. He’d seen that look before when announcing that one of the Slytherins only had a broken his collarbone rather than his whole arm and that was somehow better, for one reason or another.

“Well, Rookwood,” she glanced over to him. “Congratulations are in order. The potion isn’t far short of a hundred percent accurate,” she turned back to Mai. “There’s room for error but not much. By all accounts, by your symptoms and the potion that is, you appear to be pregnant.” The sound of ceramic hitting the floor sounded from Theodore’s portion of the room and Victoire brought a hand to her forehead, willing herself not to smirk. She couldn’t believe this hadn’t gone through his mind.

“Say again?” Theodore stuttered out, his head poking up over the counters as he scooped up the cup he’d broken – though thankfully it was one of his favourites rather than Mai’s.

“Pregnant, yes.” Victoire decided to ignore Theodore, whose jaw had fallen to the proverbial floor and looked at Mai who she figured was going to be the more sensible. “What I can do, it depends what’s easier for you, is either keep you with me and we can go through it all together or I can put you in with some of the midwives at St. Mungo’s and organise scans and give you all of the information you need to know.”

Theodore had no idea what to say or what to do. He felt utter horror and complete jubilation hit him at once and as he put the last of the ceramic on the counter he left the kitchen area and moved over to the girls, sinking down on the sofa next to Mai. He ignored Victoire’s glare, which plainly told him how stupid he was being, and he swallowed, drawing his hand over the small of Mai’s back.

“I’ll leave a few vitamin potions. Theo can set up a floo when you’ve made your decision. I’ll see myself out.” Victoire smiled gently and turned away, disappearing back upstairs after setting the potions she’d promised down.

A few seconds of silence elapsed and then Theodore turned round and kissed her, holding her face in both of his hands. He released her, not wanting to chance a moment too long and he sat back, running his hands through his hair as he let out a breath of air. He was happy, decided. Though, it did make the situation a hundred thousand times more complicated.

To say that Mairen had a temper would be... well, a bit of an understatement, really. Theodore had never gotten the brunt of that - she had made sure of it - but, for an instant, she felt sure that there was nothing she could do to stop it. She wanted to shout, to explain that they weren't really stupid enough not to take care of something like that. But then, there had been a few times when she hadn't thought about it for being so swept up in the moment - in him. When they had been interrupted by whatever the case - typically Esme - right when she was getting ready to consider doing something about it. She had no excuse.

They had no excuse.

So she just sat there, staring. Her vision blurred as she allowed her eyes to just sort of look, though they didn't truly see. Something shattered, but Mairen couldn't have told you what. Theodore's voice cut through her attempt at zoning out, the panicked undertones in his voice making her heart beat faster in a strange, battered rhythm. She realized as Vic spoke again that it was fear hammering within her, not anger. Not at him, anyway.

Mai felt a slight need to pull away when Theodore touched her, but at the same time, she needed him. He was the only one who would be there after Vic left. The only one who would understand and, really, the only person she had besides Esme. But Esme wouldn't get it in the same way. That little girl would probably be happy for her. Understandably, mind. But Mai wasn't at all sure what to do with herself.

Shock overwhelmed her when Theodore turned to face her, and she couldn't bring herself to kiss him back. She felt immobile, somehow. That is, until he pulled back and her gaze met his. Instantly, tears filled her eyes and she let out something between a hiccup and a sob, and her hand flew up to her mouth. Mai shook her head, astounded at her own actions, hating the tears that escaped.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, referring to her response to the news. "I just... I'm not sure what to do."

Something within the Rookwood man clanged horribly and he shrank a little, his shoulders folding over. He had to wrangle within himself and compose his form which was dangerously tempted to let out its own manifestation of raw emotion. He consoled himself by pulling Mai into his arms, if only because he needed something to hold onto. He hadn’t imagined that there would be anything other than happiness but then he considered that there wasn’t any kind of agreement between them regardless of how content he personally was. There was no mutually agreed dependence, there, even if it was tacitly done.

Theo leaned back and grasped hold of Mai’s face, his thumbs rubbing under her eyes to ward off any tears that wanted to fall. He kissed her forehead and lowered his hands to hers, lacing their fingers together tightly. He wanted to try and articulate properly what he felt in that moment but he didn’t think that he would do himself, or her, justice. He took a hesitant breath and brought her knuckles to his lips his thumb rubbing over the back of her hand.

“You don’t have to do anything on your own,” he murmured to her. “Whatever you would like, I’ll be beside you whatever if you want me to be. Keep it …” Theodore couldn’t quite form the words, settling for: “or not,” which came out in way that wasn’t very convincing. “I … I’ll support you, Mai, whatever you decide. I’m sorry,” he whispered, his eyes flicking to hers. “I didn’t mean for this to happen I … I should’ve thought but I …” Theodore closed his eyes and took his hands away, “Merlin,” he muttered, drawing his hands over his face.

“Mai I don’t want for you to have to be in this position,” he expressed, unsure himself how he was supposed to proceed. “Love, look … I … I’m not unhappy about this. I’m not. I just … I feel like …” Theodore rubbed his face, trying to get his words together. “What do you want me to do?” He asked, dropping his hands into his lap, screwing his face up in dismay. “I don’t want to impose on you … and I … but I … I wouldn’t … I wouldn’t mind and I … I … I don’t know …” he lowered his eyes to his lap, now entirely lost for words.

"You're mad if you think I'm going to give them up," she mumbled, unsure why she felt so defensive. It wasn't as though he was being rude to her in any way. "I could never. I've always wanted - I mean... I just couldn't."

If Theodore didn't know, how was Mai supposed to know what to do? He'd gone through something like this before, hadn't he? She didn't really know, which didn't exactly help to ease her worry. It just put into perspective how much she wanted to know about him compared to how much she had learned in her time with him. She had never asked about Esme's mother, after all. It seemed like a low-blow at the time, and although that was still sort of true, she did feel like they were doing things horribly out of order.

Still, he had asked her a question, and he deserved an answer. "I just want... Actually, yeah. I just want things to be normal. And I know they won't be, really. Not in the same sense. But I don't want things to change, and that's mad. I mean... Do you have any idea what this means?" she asked, the pitch of her voice too high. Mai paused for a second, furrowing her brow. "Of course you do. That was stupid," she frowned, thinking of Esme. "I mean-... It's just, my parents. They didn't have faith in me to begin with, and now look what I've gone and done? Hell, no wonder they don't. I'm a mess, aren't I? I can't even manage to-"

She froze, her eyes widening at the sides as she stared at him. She had intended to make a comment about how she couldn't even convince Scorpius to marry her, considering he had taken off before the time came. That definitely would not have been helpful, though, so she wasn't ready to let that stab to her ego escape any time soon. The last thing she needed was for Theodore to feel obligated to counter it, because he probably would, and that would not make her feel any better.

The idea of her parents finding out was genuinely traumatizing. She had memories of the two of them together, but when she tried to find any spaces of time in which they both were there for her, all she came up with were long parentheses of nothing. Those times didn't truly exist. Worse, still, neither had truly been there for her when it mattered. Theodore, she supposed, had been, but this was a far more terrifying situation than graduation or getting her first job or even when she had been so confident in her engagement. So, between the two sides, Theodore won easily.

The thing was, she knew there was no getting away from her parents' finding out. It was going to happen eventually. But when that time came, she wanted Theodore to be there. She needed him. And, really, she cared for him immensely. But she couldn't bring herself to say anything about it. He seemed pleased, which she supposed was a good sign, but she half attributed it to the idea that he was going to find himself with another child. She felt guilty for thinking it, but that seemed a more likely motivation than the fact that it was her. Perhaps it was just Mairen being naive, but she was in a bit of a state, to be fair.

Safe in the knowledge that they weren’t going to be bereft of even the possibility of their child, Theodore felt himself relax a little bit. That was the start. Immediately, there was an understanding of what would come and based on that they could move forward. Theodore’s eyebrow rose, a half-smile lifting his mouth to one side, and he chuckled, drawing Mai to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her. He began to rub warm circles into her back and he popped a kiss between her brows, smiling a little bit.

“A certain amount of madness comes with the last name,” he joked, pulling her back against the cushions with him. “And mad for you, I certainly am. I only asked because it’s bad enough to have put you in this position in the first place, I don’t then want to make you do something you don’t want to do. That’s all I wanted to check. This option, though, definitely makes me a lot happier.” He chuckled again, though this time out of awkwardness as he felt that telling her such was still an imposition.

“It does take two to tango,” Theo reminded her gently, beginning to comb his fingers through her hair as another lopsided smile found his mouth. “Blame me. But look, if they don’t have faith in you, they’re the mad ones, even if I’m not entirely sure if I’m allowed to say that about people I haven’t met,” Theo clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he made that mental concession that though the craziness of his own parents was an easy measurement to make even by strangers, he couldn’t necessarily do the same for Mai’s.

“You are not a mess.” Theodore replied sharply, his eyes narrowing at the thought. “I’ve got you, okay?” He murmured, his voice softening again. “This is going to be okay. We’ll make your parents see there’s nothing to worry about and that we’ve got a handle on it and I’ll shout at mine when they get uppity … or, well, my father. My mother wouldn’t—“ Theodore decided to stop himself before he began trying to ramble his way through the sticky subject of blood status – knowing that inevitably it’d come up at some point.

Esme, daughter of a Muggleborn and the yet unnamed little Rookwood, infant to a Half-Blood and one of the most disillusioned Purebloods going. That was the marked difference this time, Theodore had decided. He was determined to create a family. He was older now. Not wiser by any means, mind, but he had more of an idea about what he wanted and he wanted Mai in his life, principally. He’d not really known in what capacity before, wanting to come up with something flash and impressive in order to ask her to be his girlfriend. Now, though, it seemed a little juvenile. He wished there was some sort in-between title – something that properly articulated the fact that the redhead was going to be the mother of his child and, more importantly, that he was going to make sure he did a proper job. Partner was probably the best option but, idiot like he was, it didn’t occur to him just yet.

“Can we stick to one middle name?” He inquired. “Because, I mean, Theodore Raghnall Tritonos Aeron Rookwood is charming and all the rest but it’s a mouthful and a pain to have to write when you’ve only just learned how. I could never get the loops right and then the twirl on the ‘T’ … nightmare,” he shook his head, glad that Cressida had the peace of mind to give Esme a singular middle name, also. Speaking of, the little girl re-entered the living room and, spotting her parents, abandoned her toys and hurried over to get in on the hug.

“Hey baby girl,” Theo murmured, enveloping her into his encompassing embrace. She snuggled in between them and reached up to kiss Mai’s cheek, making Theo pout and look for his own kiss which she giggled at him for, turning into Mai to avoid him. “Meanie,” Theo teased, tickling her for a moment before dropping his head back against the pillows, urging a little bit of relaxation back into his bones. The worst thing that could happen now would be if his sister turned up with a new problem for him to solve.

“You okay, Mai?” Esme asked softly, looking up at the redhead with wide eyes. “You can’t be ill,” she insisted, adding, “It’s play day!”

Indeed it was, too. One of those rare days when both adults were home together during the day with the little girl to give her undivided attention. Theodore did intend on taking her to a petting zoo the following day, with the proviso that he’d probably end up having to get her a goat or something else absurd. He was hoping now that Mai would still be up for going so she could stop him from doing it. He leaned over and stole a kiss from his baby before pressing another to Mai’s forehead.

“Daddy tell her!” Esme pressed, adding, not a beat later: “I’m hungry.”

Her talking had come all at once and Esme wasn’t going to spare using it, either. She’d been saying bits and pieces but now she was determined to use her new-found language to grand effect. Certainly it meant that Theo had to think twice before swearing quite so readily around her, just in case he got it in reply. Not that he did it usually anyway, no!

“Esme’s hungry,” Theodore mocked, leaning his head against Mai’s, his smile widening into a grin as his baby glared at him. “Is this why you like Mai better than me?” Theo teased, getting a firm nod from his daughter. He laughed more fully then and tucked his arms tighter around his girls. “Well I love you anyway,” he declared. “The pair of you,” he added. “So, how about some breakfast, okay?”

“Finally!” Was Esme’s dramatic reply.

She wasn't even sure, the first time, what to do or even to think when Theodore said that he felt something that strong for her. She sort of thought he was joking, actually. So she was grateful when he continued on, uninterested in having to face that idea head on. She wasn't sure if he meant it just yet. While she was distracted in her thoughts, Theodore seemingly took it upon himself to assure her that her parents were wrong. In fact, she jumped a little at his tone, her wide eyes watching him nervously.

She didn't want to guess what he was referring to when it came to his parents, so she instead went for: "I don't think my parents will take it well no matter how we frame it. And it isn't because it's you or anything. My dad wouldn't be opposed, per se, although neither would truly care who I chose. But I just mean that they'll be really disappointed, and my mother does not mind saying so. The idea of you meeting them..." Mai shook her head, releasing a frustrated sigh.

One eyebrow lifted as he listed off all of his names, and she couldn't quite help herself when the urge to laugh filled her. "You do realize that, legally, you can change your name."

Somewhere, perhaps several years later in an alternate universe, Keiran was complaining at Theodore for making fun of his names in public when Theo himself had so many.

"But yes," she agreed, unsure why she was even thinking about names yet. "Just the one. That would be preferable. But let's not worry after that for... a while," she requested, eyes showing just how uncomfortable she was with that idea.

The anxiety in her frame had dissipated for the most part, the warmth that Theo provided doing a lot to help her mood. But when Esme returned, a full smile changed her features. Wrapping one arm around the little brunette, a sort of astounded expression took over, merely adding to the proof that she was still surprised at the idea that Esme was so affectionate towards her. "Oh, honey, it's fine. It'll be fine. Don't you worry," she added, touching the tip of her forefinger to Esme's nose. "I would never ruin play day!"

Theodore brought up the suggestion of potentially having those feelings for her again, and Mai found herself exceptionally done in. After everything that had happened, part of her wanted to chide him, and say something like 'Don't you mean the three of us?' But it was a little bit too soon for that, considering she wasn't sure that she had fully registered her new situation or her new future. She relaxed her cuddle a bit so Esme could lead the way to the actual kitchen area, but reached for Theodore's hand before he could stand to follow her.

Mai's free hand curled around his neck and she closed the distance between them, covering his lips with her own. When she pulled away, her gaze found his and she hesitated. "Thank you, Theo," she released on a grateful sigh. "Thank you."

---

“I promise I’ve probably overdone it.”

A soft chuckle rubbed across the shell of her ear and Theodore leaned round, adjusting his hand so that it covered her eyes properly, his other coming down to grasp softly at her hip. He closed his own eyes for a moment to gather himself and in through his nose he inhaled the fresh sent of water and clinging dew on long blades of grass. The sound of the water rushing over the pebbles of the riverbed rose in his ears and he rolled his shoulders, feeling waves of relaxation trickle over him.

“The wood’s going to start arching up in a moment,” Theodore’s lips returned to her ear as he pressed her forward. “It’s alright. Just … keep going.”

The sound underfoot changed from dirty gravel to the clunking sound of boards and as promised it arched up and over. He brought them to a stop at the very top, his hand sliding around from her hip to cradle the little swell of her stomach. He inhaled through his nose sharply as he felt it properly. He’d had plenty of opportunities but stood up together, with her back against his chest, he felt as though he was almost holding their child. He rolled his lips together and swallowed before talking his hand away from her eyes, letting his arm curl around her.

Everywhere, on every surface possible, there were little tea lights in jars. He’d taken her to a bridge not far from where he’d grown up and he’d lavished upon it every splendorous simplicity he could. In the middle of the bridge, at the highest point, a table and chairs had been set out where dinner was already waiting and in a tall vase between the plates, one of the flowers that Theodore had gotten Mai at Christmas was waiting.

“How d’you like it?” He inquired softly, his fingers rubbing across her middle. “Told you I went overboard, didn’t I? I hope you’re hungry, love.”

Mairen wasn't fully sure why she had agreed to go along with Theodore's plan. But he seemed so excited, even if that included a little bit of nervousness - that is, if she was reading him right. Sometimes she still was slightly afraid she didn't get it quite as she should have. She didn't realize the importance that she should have given the situation, or the seriousness. So as they walked, she found herself practically giggling as she tried not to trip over herself.

"You're ridiculous!" she accused lightly as he stepped around and covered her eyes more effectively. Not that she was trying to peek, of course. She was generally up for surprises, although many she knew despised them. This seemed like a good sort of surprise, didn't it? She didn't see any reason to worry about it - at least not yet.

At the same time, with her eyes closed, she was vastly more aware of everything going on around her. As the rule goes, one sense was taken from her so all of the others were heightened. The hand at her hip felt oddly purposeful, even though she was right in assuming that he didn't actually mean anything by it. Everything around them spoke directly to nature, filling her ears with the sound of a tripping brook and the breath that Theodore drew in when his arm slid from her hip to cross around her middle. For a moment, the only thing she could feel was Theo, and the only thing she could hear was the movement of Nature and her dance as she drifted along and made the stream carry water to the flowers that so happily accepted her offering.

After he removed his hand, she hesitated, not really ready to give up the sort of out-of-body experience she was having just from standing in front of him. There was something to the way that Theodore was presenting it. It felt like something she needed to remember, and something she might want to remember years later. So her hands found his where they crossed over her little bump, doing the only thing she could think of to hold him there for a bit longer. Mai drew in a breath and finally opened her eyes. The inhale seemed useless as her breath caught, her eyes flicking about the bridge almost frantically. She could feel the jolt that went through her, and Mai could only assume that Theo could as well, considering she stood even taller in her spot.

She didn't understand, really. This was far too much, this was nothing like their previous dates. Most of those had been dinner or even staying in, if she had suggested it in the end. She realized that her mouth was open and that she probably looked something like a fish even as her fingers wrapped themselves around his wrists. "Th-Theo," she breathed, turning her chin towards him, even though her eyes were essentially trained on the sight he had created for her. "This-... I don't... I'm not sure what to say. Honey, I-"

Words failed her upon realizing that she had finally used a real endearment for him, and Mai was reminded that she had been standing there like her shoes were cemented to the bridge. Very suddenly, as though shocked into doing so, she turned in his arms and reached to toss her arms around his neck and meet his lips in a kiss. The fingers of her right hand delved into his hair whilst those of her left fisted some of the fabric of his shirt. When she pulled away, she didn't get very far. Her words were spoken near his cheek, her lips occasionally drifting over his skin.

"I don't understand," she whispered, her eyes still closed as she tried to absorb it all. "Theo, this is so much. Too much. It's beautiful," she added more brightly, leaning back to properly look up at him. "It's not that I don't appreciate it. This is the most... I mean, nobody's ever..." Mai shook her head, feeling foolish for even trying to put it into words. She didn't have any that fit. When it came to Theodore, she seemed to be feeling that way more and more.

"I promise I won't always be this terrible at finding words. You've just... surprised me. Very successfully, I might add. Theodore," she offered him a tiny smile, too overwhelmed to properly show what she was feeling. Her fingers brushed across his cheek, and all she could come up with beyond her attempted assurances was: "You astound me, you know. I'm so grateful for you."

“It’s not nearly as beautiful as you are,” he found himself saying unconsciously, drawing his knuckles across her cheek. His fingers swept down and tipped beneath her chin as he leaned towards her, brushing his lips between her brows. “I wanted to make it perfect for you. You deserve it, my love. So much hasn’t been … and it … I wanted to make you feel like a princess for even just one night.” He flashed her a tentative, sheepish smile that made him seem younger than his years despite the scuff on his jaw.

“You’re much more eloquent than I am,” he promised, bringing her hands to his lips. He took the time to make sure he kissed each knuckle. “Especially considering the jittery wreck I’ll be in a moment. Shall we sit down?” He felt he could speak easier if he knew he wouldn’t fall down and confess himself to be utterly overwhelmed by the prospect of what was to come. He clasped her hands in his, his fingers sliding through hers as he tugged her gently towards the table.

When they reached it, Theodore released her, his palms already mourning the warmth of her skin. His hands shook a little as his fingers closed around the top of the chair and slid it out from underneath the table. He licked his lips, a gentle furrow appearing between his brows and he forced himself to steady his breathing as he tucked the chair under her. He wanted to tell himself to calm down more forcefully and tell himself that it wasn’t as important as he’d wound himself up to think it was – but the fact is it was.  

As he sat down, he found himself meeting the gaze of the woman who was keeping his child warm and safe and loved within her. Their child. He roused a lump in his throat that he couldn’t swallow back no matter how hard he tried and impossibly his hands seemed to shake all the more as he reached for the ring box on his side of the table which was concealed, just, by the vase. He closed his hands tightly around it, willing himself to calm down, and he smiled at her despite himself, exhaling a breath of air he had been harbouring in his chest.

“I don’t want … see, this is where you’re going to be much more eloquent than me. I’m just trying to … I want to get the words right because it occurred to me that as much as I like to fantasise about doing stuff like this … I’m actually no good at it.” He reached up and rubbed his fingers across the back of his neck, a dull ache rising in his hands as anxiety lifted within him. He brought them back together and absently rubbed at the sides before offering her one of them, palm side up, to take if she wanted.

“I want to be clear about what we are. Though, granted … I don’t think this makes it clear at all. I want … I don’t,” he paused, sitting back a bit. “I don’t think I’m actually really qualified to talk about what I want because I don’t want you to think you have to put that above what you want because I’m really not all that important in the grand scheme of …” he took a breath and shook his head, pausing to take his wand from his pocket. He tapped it against the champagne flutes and they immediately filled with flavoured, sparkling water – so they still got the bubbles but the baby didn’t get the alcohol he or she probably didn’t need.

“What I do want,” he got out gently, his lips curling upwards a little, “is for you to know that I’m always going to be with you as long as you want me to be. I should’ve put this in writing, really. It would’ve been so much better, huh?” He smirked and clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, pausing to shake his head. “I wasn’t … first time round,” he tried out this method of explanation with more hesitance than the first, as though he wasn’t quite ready to explain that much but despite himself he found the words flowing.

“When Cressida fell pregnant with Esme it was the best and worst moment in my entire life. I was excited, I really was, but I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for what I wanted. I’d just started out in the Wizengamot. I remember the day I found out I bought my first suit with my first paycheque and I was on cloud nine about it but then it all came crashing down around me. My family told me I had a choice to make: lose my livelihood or lose her. I was so dependent on them that instead of picking my girls I picked comfort – I picked an easy life over what was right. And my father,” he laughed humourlessly. “He made it all go away as though Cressida was just a dream and none of it ever happened at all. I wasn’t man enough for them. I didn’t even try, Mai. So sometimes … sometimes looking at Esme nigh kills me because I think about when I failed her and I don’t want to do that to you. I can’t bear the thought of doing it to you.”

Theodore swallowed and inhaled shakily. “I guess it’s selfish because it’ll feel like I’m making it up to Esme by doing this right and that’s a stupid reason and I’m sorry for it but that’s not … that’s not all.” He laced his fingers loosely with hers. “I want a family with you. I want this family with you and our baby and … our slightly bigger baby,” he smirked, liking the way the ‘our’ rolled over his tongue. “And what I really, really want is to make sure you know that I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to run away… I’m going to … I am going to be the man that you and need and the man that Esme needs and the man our baby needs. I want to provide for us and look after this family and I just …” he lowered his eyes to the box and touched his fingers over the top of it. “I just want to be better than I ever was and better than my father and my grandfather and all of those awful people that’ve made my family what it is. It’s not even … it’s not even right to call it that. It feels like some sort of business that I keep getting shunted out of every time I do something wrong and it’s happened again but I know that this isn’t wrong and, moreover, I don’t need them. What I need is our family and what I want is … I keep saying it but I just … I just want to make sure you know I’m yours, all yours, and that I don’t want anything else but what we have. Mad though it is, mind you.”

He grinned at her despite himself and released her hand before holding up the little blue box. His wriggled his brows at her and opened up the lid, starting a little at the way it clunked back awkwardly on its hinge despite the reverence with which he opened it. Then he turned it so she could see and he set the box down as the small diamonds began to wink their kaleidoscope in the candlelight.

“I wanted it to be classy,” he considered. “And I wanted it to be sort of understatedly beautiful … sort of something you really have to look at in order to truly appreciate its beauty. I wanted to capture you in that sense because it’s not in the conventional things that you are so captivating … it’s … I can’t even describe.” He ducked his head embarrassedly, reaching to rub at his neck again. “I thought I was going to have a heart-attack when I picked it out. I took Millie with me because I thought she’d be helpful but she was just cooing at all of the sparkles.”

He laughed a little and shook his head before tapping his finger against the lid of the box, adding with a wry smile, “I was willing to spend hundreds anyway but she managed to con me out of a bracelet for ‘helping’ when she didn’t do anything and I was the one that picked that out in the end.” He rolled his eyes in mock-exasperation and shook his head. “It’s not a promise ring because I can’t bear to call it that – it sounds absurd. And I’m not proposing otherwise I’d have gone for more than a bridge and candles and to tell you the truth I don’t think either of us want that just yet … so it’s … it’s … an I’m-always-going-to-be-there sort of ring and, yes, a promise that I will propose – when you’re least expecting it,” he paused to wink at her, grinning. “Sort of … out of nowhere one day. I wanted it in stone, at least – cause my words are not as effective as I’d like to think so …. I wanted it in stone and in diamond that I really am going to always be there. I also …”

Theodore reached underneath the table and pulled out a bigger box in the same colour, setting it on the table before opening it up to reveal the sparkling earrings and necklace that matched.

“Magpie Millie was helpful in that she made me spend an inordinate amount,” he told her softly. “This is just … hopeless bling but I think maybe … maybe if you’d like to go with me to one of those stuffy pureblood balls during the summer … it might be an opportunity to wear it? Though!” He reached down again and pulled another box out of the bag. “I told you I went overboard,” he chuckled.

“This isn’t hopeless bling, promise,” he smirked, opening the box. “I thought it would go nicely with that outfit you wear sometimes with the stockings with the line down the back … that one and the skirt that’s distracting and yep…” He trailed off, giving her a shy smile. “I picked these when I knew what I was doing after I’d harassed the poor attendant into getting out all of these gaudy things I knew you’d hate but I needed to look at anyway just ‘cause I needed to make sure you definitely would hate them before I bought something mental. Though, I think I’ve achieved that anyway.” He drew his fingers through his hair, shaking his head profusely.

“C-can I put it on?” He asked softly, gesturing to the ring box.