Sand and Snow

Khaat closed her eyes and fell into a light sleep. She didn't know why,but she felt really tired today. She wasn't sure that she even really felt well. She slipped into a deeper sleep quickly as the sun warmed her skin in the sun.

"Hey, Mate," Angus said, sitting on the other side of Brian, his voice was soft so he wouldn't wake Khaat. "Have you really had Robert look at her? I mean, really look at her?"

"He knows. He presumes its just that she's having a hard time snapping back from Barker."

"Nonsense. She's a fighter, Brian. She was born and raised to know the odds, to handle whatever was dished out at her and still stand. Somethings not right. And you'd better get it figured out soon, Mate. Before she just withers away from you altogether."

Brian sat for a long moment, in thought.

"Just think about it," Angus said, getting up and going back to the bridge of the ship

Jess sighed and looked as the two men spoke, she could not deny that she felt Khaat now more scared than she had been but on the other hand she could understand it with all she had been threw she herself had been threw something similar when she saw taken it had taken her several years to get over it and the birth of her twins to finish it with the dark man who had taken her , yet she still wondered why she was the one he took. Jess looked at Khaat and wondered if she too felt the same fear deep inside her.


Cassidy sat up and cursed " God dam it " she said flexing her hand again as the pins and needles seem to become more intense, she looked at Brian and Angus hoping they had now seen, nor that khaat had been disturbed.

"Come over here," Brian told Cassidy. He knew exactly what the issue was, and it was a minor thing to fix. He did understand her annoyance with it, but after all, what was the point in being a healer if one couldn't fix such little annoyances?

He looked over at Khaat. Cassidy had not disturbed her. In fact, it didn't seem as if anything would disturb her. Khaat was in a deep sleep, and he was glad. She needed the rest. He planned on letting her sleep.

"I think we can fix that, Cassidy," he told her.

Cassidy stood up and walked over to him sitting facing him she winced as she held out her arm "it feels as if it goes a little numb " she said feeling it start again and she bit her lip at the painful sensation. Steven turned to watch her his arm folded across his chest.

"so what is it?" he asked moving to sit on her lounger while he watched he wasn't concerned if Brian said it was nothing it usually was nothing. He looked at Khaat and Jess who both seem to be enjoying the sun. He couldn't help letting his eyes wander over Cassidy's toned body though he felt something for her he felt he could not act on it yet.

Jess sighed and looked at Steven her face one of I know what your thinking "Steven if your gonna look like that at her like that control your thoughts " she said and chuckled at him then looked at Brian "or is that your thoughts for Khaat " she winked at him. Thought Khaat was next to her she felt a distance between her and khaat one she could not explain this worried her.

"Its just a little nerve damage," Brian said. "Its a normal part of healing. A normal part of healing." He folded her hand in his and repaired the nerve damage there and up in her shoulder where the damage started. "There. Fixed. Its more common than you know. You won't have any trouble with it now. Stretch it a few times and go enjoy your swim."

Angus brought Brian an icy cold soda with a tall glass of ice. "I'd bring one for Khaat, but she seems otherwise occupied," Angus said.

"Let her go," Brian said. "She needs the rest. Part of this for her needs to be rest and recharge. She has a lot on her mind. I want her to be able to let go of that for awhile. If she lets go of it for awhile, then maybe she'll learn to do it more often."

"I'm concerned about her. She's not herself."

"I know. I'm keeping an eye on it as best I can."

Cassidy breathed out as she felt it leave her and her hand felt like its self again "thank you Brain " she moved it and then moved back to sit next to Steven.

Jess looked at Brian "you felt that too Angus " she said looking at him " there just something I just can't put my finger on and its annoying me about it" she sat up to look at them "she's my best friend yet... I feel distant from her as if shes hiding something, something she doesn't want any body ,including you Brian to know" she sighed "maybe its just me"


Cassidy lay back down thinking about the swimming as she looked at Steven "I don't know if I could swim in the sea " she said as he turned to face her.

"nothing to it , I'll be there so will Jess I'm sure" he said laying on his front so he could tan his back "and maybe sleeping beauty there " he said smiling looking at the blue sea around the ship "so Brian when do we stop for the swim?" he asked

"Of course I feel it," Angus said. "And I know her. So does Brian and Robert, but their attentions have been so divided by needing to protect her that they haven't been able to see everything. It just isn't humanly possible. She hasn't been the same since she had that out of body experience. In my book, I see her as not having dealt with something in that last bit with Barker. Something is just so haunting for her that she can't stand it. I think she's doing her best to move forwards, but it isn't easy for her. She hurts. She's trying to be, I think, what she thinks Remus wanted her to be. I just want her to stop trying to measure up and be herself."

He heard them ask about swimming and ordered the boat to a stop. "You can swim whenever you want," Angus told them. "Now if you want."

Jess sighed and nodded she agreed "your right, we all need to remind her that she has stop trying to be something she is not and to just be her self, those kids down stairs won't appreciate a nerve rattled, stressed out mother , but how to do that?" she said feeling the motion of the boat slow to a gentle rocking. " do you two have any ideas apart from just being her friends , because thats what is already happening " he sat looking at them "shes more than a friend she to me, she's like a sister " Jess looked down at Khaat it actually pained her to see her that way.

Cassidy sat quiet feeling the boat stop and hearing the conversation that was going on, she felt Steven sit up and so leaned on him "its strange i haven't know you all that long , yet i don't want anything to happen to you...I mean any of you" she said correcting her mistake as she looked at him then the others. "in such a short time, I feel like for the first time I have a family" she said and looked at Khaat " even two big sisters"

"Not at the moment," Angus said. "I am just doing my best to give her what she seems to want at the moment. Until I know for certain what's really going on, I don't know that there is anything else I can do. She isn't talking. She's working, taking care of her kids, trying to get back into shape, and going through the motions of doing all the right things. But there is something else. Something below the surface that keeps her from really connecting with us. I don't know what it is. But she isn't herself. Brian just is accepting it as lingering trauma, and I think Robert is taking it that way too. And I think that was true perhaps for awhile. But Khaat's better than that. I really don't think its that. There's something else eating at her, and I don't know what it is. Jess, I see her eat a week of full meals. I mean, a clean plate, three times a day.. And she's losing weight at the end of the week. Its not a lot, maybe a pound or a part of a pound, but she's still steadily getting thinner and thinner and weaker and weaker. Brian says its just stress. I dont' know if I buy that."

Jess looked at her and nodded "I know how you feel ,ever since she came back i feel a distance between us and its not because of the incident I feel it too something....just something " she said frowning " I can't even sense what it is shes got barriers up so even I can't tell what it is" she lay back showing her frustration.

Steven looked at them all not really knowing what to say about it all , he felt Cassidy lay against him and looked down at her as he saw her watching the others . "OK can we get back to some R and R please, I'm sure in time it will all revel its self " he said placing a hand on Cassidys shoulder as he looked at them all.