Thinking on mistakes [[Darren]]

Walking around the grounds Zoe had a millions things on her mind. Should she really be out and about? But Zoe didn't care she needed some fresh air. The lake was the best place to relax. If you could call it relaxing. She was trying to think on way to many things at once to truly relax.

Not only did she betray the Dark Lord his self but she also betrayed people whom she thought of as friends. She knew that they would never forgive her. Could she really blame them, no. Would they give her a chance to explain, no. Not that they would actually listen if she tried anyway.

What to do. Looking out across the lake, Zoe was lost. She hadn't felt this alone since she was kicked out of the burrow. Tossing stones into the lake, she stared across it. Just then a sound behind her made her turn.

Darren strode out the castle, wearing jeans, and a thin blazer over a t-shirt. He had his arm stretched out infront of him and was tapping it with his wand. He was still injured from yesterdays duel in the forbidden forest with the Death Eaters. He had been allowed to skip the classes due to that. With the whole school inside, he had decided to take a walk outside by the lake, his favirote place at Hogwarts. Somehow being by the lake usually kept him in a good mood. Perhaps it was because of the good memories he had there.

As expected, the lake was completely empty, it seemed like that from a distance anyways. A closer glance showed him there was a person there. Wondering who that would be he made towards the person instead and soon recognized her at Zoe. Eyes narrowing, he wouldn't forgive Zoe for what she had done yesterday, not anytime soon anyways. He had trusted her, and look what she had done.

Approaching her, he kept a firm grip on his wand. "Traitor," he snarled as he walked to where she was sitting.

Betsy who was completely oblivious to the going ons of Zoe and Darren because of her nine month search for a chocolate frog peered from behind a rock and watched the scene unfold.

The sound behind Zoe caused her to turn around. She really hoped that it was only an animal. The mood that she was in wasn't something that she wanted to share with anyone. She was beside herself with anger. But there was really no one that she could blame but her own self. Looking behind her, Zoe's hopes hit the ground an audible thud. Of all people that she would run into it was Darren.

Zoe didn't stand at first. What should she do? Run was the first thing that came to her mind. Her imagination took off running at the thoughts of what Darren wanted to do to her after her actions. Of course, none of them were any kind of fun. Throwing the last few rocks that she had in her hand into the lake. Slowly, very slowly she wiped her hands on her pants.

Staring out across the lake, she took in a deep breath, Zoe slowly raised her hands. Showing Darren that she was unarmed, wand still in her pocket. "My wand is in my pocket Darren. I'm not going to attack you." Slowly, she stood. Trying to show that she meant no harm and that she didn't have any attack planned.

Standing face to face with Darren, Zoe saw a look that she had never wanted to see pointed at her. "Yea. I know you hate my guts. You don't have to say it. You want me dead. Get in line, because if I'm caught someone bigger than you will take care of me." Looking back at the ground for a moment. "But then again, I think I might actually wish you would take me out than him. Because he won't make it quick and easy."

Darren watched her silently, his eyes narrowed and hand still in his pocket. She looked surprised, but as he watched her, she didn't reach out for her wand. Odd, he had expected her too, if she could attack him surely she would at least defend herself. But no, she just stood up, unarmed. Still, he doubted whether she would last long even if she did try to attack him.

Raising an eyebrow, he didn't want her dead, no. The only person he wanted dead was Voldemort. All he wanted to do was ask Zoe why she had betrayed them yesterday. He had his wand clutched in his hand as a precaution and if maybe she needed a little persuasion on telling him why. Really though, why was Voldemort after her? Hadn't she actually helped him, so why did he want her dead? Darren was confused.

"I don't want you dead," he said stiffly. "I just want to know why you betrayed me yesterday and why you helped those scum kidnap Gin." Zoe was also Gin's friend, so that just made it worse.

Zoe looked back up at Darren. Just the look he was giving her was enough to make her want to run. Run as far from Hogwarts, far from this place, this person as she could get. But to do that was being a coward. Truth be told, some could say she was already one. At least that is what seems to be the thought around. She slightly shook her head and looked back down at the ground.

Darren's comment took Zoe by complete and total shock. He didn't want her dead. She couldn't help but look back up at him. She knew that the shock was shown on her face, yet she did nothing to hide it. "Now I know I'm hearing things. Because there is no way you are truly going to stand there and look at me and say that you don't want me dead. After all I betrayed you. Isn't that what you think."

Zoe shook her head and looked back at the ground, playing with the grass with the toe of her shoe. Taking in a deep breath of the fresh air, letting it out slowly. Might as well enjoy the last bit of fresh air while she could get it. "If it is ok with you, I'm going to lower my hands. If you want my wand to prove I mean no harm, then so be it. But my arms and hands are starting to cramp."

Raising her face, Zoe looked back at Darren. "You want to know why I did what I did." She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. "I knew of their plans. I knew what he wanted. I also knew that if no one went that even remotely cared about either you or Gin, that the entire thing would end badly. I went only to lend aid." Zoe looked back at her feet. "I had to play along and wait for the perfect moment." Glancing back at him. "It was I, who released her. It was I, who put my life in danger to free Gin." Zoe shook her head and let her eyes fall back down.

Darren was surprised at the shock at Zoe's face. And annoyed. At himself. She was surprised that he didn't want her dead, was that her opinion about him to her? That he killed people? He might of, once, when he first joined the Death Eaters. He hadn't cared then, but he had matured since then. He didn't want to kill anyone now, he didn't. Just Voldemort. Or else he would have killed Sue by now. Zoe was, once, his friend, he wasn't about to kill her. He wasn't even going to punish her or lecture her until he heard why she had done that.

Getting more annoyed as she told him that she didn't believe him, he released his wand and took his hand out of his pocket. He wouldn't need the wand, not really. Shrugging, he didn't understand why she was so scared of him. He was angry at her, a lot, but he wasn't about to do anything to her.

Listening to her reason, his eyes narrowed. It wasn't bad at least, he could tell she wasn't lying, and she had tried helping them. But in the wrong way. It always annoyed Darren at other people's stupidity. Sometimes they did stuff which were totally stupid. No wonder they weren't in Slytherin. He let out a sigh.

"Whatever Zoe, what you did was really stupid," he told her in a stiff tone, leaning against a tree. "You didn't lend us aid at all! If it hadn't been for your cowardly attack on me, I could have defeated Ne'os easily and stopped him from kidnapping Gin! You didn't put your life in danger, you didn't even have to step in!" It sounded like she was being proud of herself now, that she was telling him that she had risked her own life to save them. Ha! "And you didn't save us, if I hadn't escaped and distracted Sue and Ne'os I doubt you would have had time to save Gin, I doubt you even would try. She would probably be on her way to Malfoy Manor if I hadn't come," Still, at least she had freed Gin, and he was thankful for that. But he wasn't about to say thanks to her now.

Zoe watched Darren. Part of her wished she knew what he was thinking as he stood in front of her. But a much larger part knew that she didn't want to know anything about it. So she let her eyes fall back down, onto the ground. It was much easier to look closely at the ground. At least she didn't have to worry about disappointing it.

After a few moments Zoe could tell Darren seemed to begin relaxing a little. Maybe relax wasn't the word. It was more like he wasn't ready to jump and attack her at any moment. Why was she suddenly so afriad of him? They had been close friends at once. Why all of a sudden was she worried that he would hurt her? The thought seemed very foolish but she also knew how his temper was.

"Sorry Darren. I don't mean to accuse you of anything. I just figured you would wish I was dead. That you would never talk to me. I know how your temper is. I also know that you have a very short fuse. You can't blame me for being worried." The words sounded foreign even as Zoe said them.

Zoe stood there and prepared for the lecture that she expected to follow. But this time it was a little different. Not that different than what she expected. "I know that I could have helped better. Honestly I wish I had never stepped in at all. I regret my decision to agree to help. But my actions, I can't change. I am also very well aware of the fact that I have to live with what I did." Raising her face and eyes till she was looking directly at Darren. "Even though you think I hindered you from whatever. He won't. He will think of it as a betrayal. No matter how small."

Had Darren been like how he used to be a year ago, Zoe probably wouldn't even be alive right now. She would have probably died in the clearing, as well as Ne'os and Sue. But he wasn't like that anymore, and it upset him to see how scared of him she was.

Zoe always surprised Darren a lot, maybe that was because he hadn't gotten her personality yet, it kept changing. He had gotten the image of her being an extremely nice person, but perhaps that was a wrong image. She was probably a little tougher and less kinder than he thought. Nevertheless, she wasn't yet as evil as Sue or Ne'os. Thats why he was friends with her, though he wouldn't forgive her for this.

But then again, was there anything to forgive? She had done an extremely stupid thing, but people tended to do that. She hadn't done it on purpose, she had good intentions when she had helped in their kidnap. And she had helped Gin escape.

A short fuse? Darren rolled his eyes, he might have a hot temper sometimes but not really, or else he would have killed Zoe at the clearing, or attacked her at least. But he had guessed she had a reason behind her act. Even if it was an extremely stupid one.

"I don't care whether you regret your stupid decision or not," he cut in sharply. "I just want to know why you didn't tell any of us about this plan. The Dark Lord must of told you at a meeting or something. You had planned this out, why didn't you tell me?" he asked. Was she such a coward that she couldn't risk telling him?

"I dont think anyone saw you helping Gin escape Zoe," he added thoughtfully. He hadn't noticed, and he thought Sue would have murdered Zoe on the spot if she had seen Zoe helping her escape.

Zoe stood watching Darren for a while. Then it was just to much for her and she had to look away. Knowing that she had betrayed such a dear friend was hard for her to take. But her stupid self had done it. There was nothing she could do to take back the mistakes she had made.

Looking around Zoe found a small fallen log. "If its ok with you, I'm going to sit. My leg is really hurting." It was the truth. The night she ran from the death eaters she had tripped over something in the forest. To this day she had no idea what it had been.

Darren didn't care that she regreted the decision. Why didn't that suprise her? A small laugh came from her. Why hadn't she told them the plans? Zoe looked back up at Darren. "Why didn't I tell you or someone? I didn't have time. We were told only moments before the dance about the plan. If I had been spotted talking to anyone at the dance, especially Order members, it would have only gone that much worse. This plan was one of those last minute throw togethers."

Looking away quickly, Zoe hoped that her thougts wouldn't be betrayed on her face. Darren's next comment suprised her. No one had noticed what she had done. "Really. I just knew that everyone had seen it. I guess that is why no one followed me away that night."