Cigarette Burns and Humiliation

There was a time for everything in life and for Elijah it was time to just shut up and let Robert do his job because he could say no if he wanted to and he could have his hand heal improperly if he so wished. That would only happen if he was desperate to claw some control back but he didn’t need that at the moment. He just wanted to be fixed so he could go back to the party or go home or just flake out on a park bench somewhere.

The Bulgarian yawned loudly and pushed himself up onto the bed in the treatment room that Robert had taken him into. He held his hands in his lap and watched the man get a potion and pour it into a glass. Elijah looked at the potion bemusedly but he trusted the guy not to kill him so Elijah lifted his glass before abruptly tipping the entire contents of the potion down his throat. He swallowed and ran his tongue across his teeth, taking whatever was left of the potion. It tasted like Firewhisky which was brilliant for the Slytherin.

Elijah shook his hair and rubbed his face with his hand again before saying half-way through a yawn, “Where’s Dan and his magic fingers?”

(Are Daniel and Brienne able to come in and visit Eli yet? I'm bored XD)

OOC: Not yet, Brienne. Just a minute.

"I kicked them out," Robert said, more or less telling the truth. "I thought we needed to talk a moment, man to man. I presume we can talk while I fix that mess your hand got into." He got some basic equipment and cleaned it gently so as not to cause him pain. From there he would move on to heal it. It would be relatively minor work once he undid the improper healing jobs. He knew when the potion took effect, it would sharply decrease whatever psychological distress had made Eli become so dissociative. That should allow him to return to being himself in a moment or two.

"You mind telling me a couple of things? First, how'd you originally hurt your hand? And I'm not talking about whoever messed it up trying to heal it. How'd you do it in the first place? Once you tell me that, then, maybe you can tell me what awful thought or memory entered your mind that caused you to, more or less, in laymen's terms, go so numb emotionally. That's not normally you. You're generally a very resilient fellow. That must have been something truly ugly."

Elijah raised his eyebrows at Robert’s reply but he shrugged all the same. However, Daniel’s fingers on his neck would have been nice at that moment in time. Elijah ran a hand through his hair and looked at the hand that Robert was cleaning. It was looking less angry than it had been and Elijah was glad it was being looked after now. Elijah thought back to hell the whole thing started and his cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment. “I was smoking and I was ...err...distracted I guess.” The crimson colour deepened and Elijah bit his tongue.

“I...” Elijah trailed off not exactly sure what he was supposed to say and he sighed. “Brienne said I was a good person and I guess my mind just flew away from me. It’s not as if I agreed of course but I guess it was the disagreement that got me going.” He shook his head and bit his lip to keep any involuntary emotions at bay. “It’s August for Christ sakes! It’s- I’m not meant to think about her yet. I shouldn’t be angry, frustrated and distraught because of her I-”

A strangled cry came from Elijah’s throat and he let his head drop. “I watched my best friend die. I was nine-years-old and all I can consciously remember of her are her last moments, her screaming. Everything else is blurred and wrong. I can remember her though...some part of me can which is why I can still draw her but if I try to remember her all I can hear is her screaming. Every night at some point my mind will replay the night she died. Every single bloody night... December 21st she died.” Elijah sighed shakily. “I hate that I could do nothing. I was a kid, what could I do? She was a witch like me...she died because of her talents.

“The Muggles were scared. F-cking terrified apparently.” Elijah snorted. “They somehow got onto the grounds of the Manor and took Alice away from me... stupidly and naively I followed thinking I could do something but what could I have done? Nothing apart from get myself killed, right? But they made me watch, leering that ‘we’ were getting rid of scum when that’s exactly what they were.” Elijah laughed a cold bitter laugh and shook his head. “Bet they regretted it afterwards,” He said, thinking of the burst of accidental magic that had come from him. He’d been distraught, he’d wanted them dead and so his magic had acted accordingly.

Robert sighed. Eli had been entirely too young for such terrible trauma in his life. And knowing Viktor, that prat hadn't been able to show his son a moment of compassion or any sort of support that a real father would have. Well, he hadn't had the best rolemodels. Dumstrang was notorious for creating "men", not fathers. Viktor was, really, only doing what he had been taught. Not that it made it any more right for Eli to have grown up without any kindness.

"Eli," Robert said gently, now addressing the burn properly, "You were nine. There was nothing you could have done differently. Nothing. I am so very sorry you went through all that. Muggles have a habit of killing anything they don't understand. Its unfortunate, but its true. Wizards learn to be more tolerant. Well, let me correct that. The good wizards learn that. You have a couple of warped apples in every basket." He had seen clearly that Eli's outrage as a young boy had caused some serious accidental magic somehow, and it had had dire consequences. "It was not your fault. Not any of it. I am sorry you lived so many years without anyone helping to support you through that. But I will help you however I can.

"Sometimes the people that we are with or the circumstances that we are in trigger memories of people that we loved that are no longer with us. Could that young woman you came in with or her friend have somehow reminded you of your friend when you were nine?

"Obviously you know that anniversaries of deaths, birthdays, special occasions can all cause that sort of trigger or flashback. But other things can cause it too--especially sensory triggers. Smells are the most powerful. Sight, touch, taste, all of it. Our memories are like muggle DVD's or videos, except that it records for us multisensory sorts of things. Not just visual or auditory.

"When you start to figure out what you were doing or thinking about at the time that the memory came up, you'll start to unravel what it was that triggered that flashback for you. Over time, you may be aware that there is more than one thing that reminds you of her. And once you know what those things are, you'll be able to start to keep them in a bit of perspective so that it does not throw you so badly.

"If its any help, I do know what that's like. You aren't the only one who has bad dreams.

"However, if you like, I can help you with some of that. We have a few choices. First, if you are having trouble sleeping, I can help you with a nonaddictive but very effective sleeping potion. Second, I can blurr some of those very painful memories for you so they are not as powerful for you. I won't take them completely away unless that is honestly what you want. Or, third, I caxn help you learn how to handle those things so that it does not affect you so strongly. That simply means a few conversations over a bit of time so that you learn to understand the past a bit more effectively and also so that you learn how your past effects your present and how you can control that.

"Eli, I don't say this a lot, but when you came to live with Khaat, you and Fauve became part of our family. I am sorry that Viktor never learned how to treat you like an appropriate father should have. You deserve far better. I don't know what your relationship is with your mother or the rest of your family, but I truly do hope they treat you well. And I see that Jen has taken you underwing. That's a good thing. She has a very compassionate side that she has not liked to show, but she is a good woman. Don't ever forget that Khaat and Katherine and I love you very much. Our doors are always, always open to you.

"Answer me this. When was the last time you got a good night's rest, without nightmares, enough that you felt truly refreshed in the morning when you woke up? Perhaps that is where we truly need to start."

Elijah squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. He refused to believe he could have done nothing in that situation. He needed to believe that he could have because otherwise that meant that just like her he was a victim. He knew he had been but he hadn’t done anything until it was too late. Perhaps a part of him had thought that they would spare her and let them leave. But he’d been wrong. Faith in people was something he hadn’t had even as a child but he’d had faith in human nature. Even that was shattered at a young age where naivety was allowed. “No,” He shook his head. “Alice I lose sleep over. Their deaths? No way. No they deserved to die. It was an intentional accident and I’m glad it happened because otherwise they would have done it again.”

The Bulgarian shrugged. He wasn’t sure. He had been sure that it was Brienne’s careless wording that had triggered it but thinking about it now he didn’t think it had been. He’d been consoling Daniel. He’d been sympathising, telling him he’d been there and back before. It was that that had gotten him started but when he’d gotten himself lost in thought she’d crept upon him like she’d done so many times before. “Quite possibly.” He said softly, not quite ready to make a decision as to whether he was right or not.

Elijah let the next bits blur through him as he tried to figure out whether that was his sympathy and understanding that had triggered the flashbacks. It was entirely plausible and it even fit right. He swallowed and listened to Robert speak about the dreams. Elijah’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. He didn’t want to lose her. He couldn’t bear to lose her. She’d been everything to his nine-year-old self now he couldn’t even remember her smile. He couldn’t remember the way she laughed...all he could remember was her screaming. Eli’s eyes glistened with tears and he let his head drop. “I don’t...” He sighed shakily and blinked a few times. “Even though they’re nightmares...they’re all I have left of her.”

“My mother?” Elijah snorted loudly and wiped his tears away. “Bloody woman. She’s only useful when I need something.” He smirked a little to himself and shook his head. “My grandfather was the only one that really understood me. He was the only one I told. But he’s long gone now.” The Slytherin sniffed. “Thank you, though, for being there I mean. I guess I didn’t realise that ‘til you pointed it out.”

He lifted his head to look at Robert and shrugged sadly. “I don’t know...I guess it was when Fauve last had a bad dream.” He said quietly. “Do you think...I could see my friends now?” ‘Friends’ was a loose term really. His pupil and the pup would have been a better title but Eli didn’t really know how else to describe the two of them. Truthfully he wanted Daniel’s hands on his neck and Brienne...well he wasn’t sure about her. She could stand and make gooey eyes at him if she so wished but either way he wanted and needed those magic fingers.

"There," Robert said, finishing work on healing the young man's hand. He had removed much of the damage to his hand and the traces were now little more than first degree burns. Redness that would disappear in a couple of days. He might have removed it entirely if whoever hadn't buggered up in the first place.

"I am not admitting you because of this. Its a burn that will clear up entirely in 2 or 3 days, max. And if I admitted every witch or wizard who experienced what you just did, I'd have to quadruple this hospital and install a revolving door. My point is, you are far from being alone. Think about it. The wizarding world is not always the rosy place that muggles believe that it is. It is very, very easy for wizards to end up seeing things that muggles cannot even fathom. It is quite unforunate that it happened to you so early and without anyone there for you who really gave a damn.

"I would, however, prefer that you start getting a good night's rest. I have a couple of ideas for you. If you are staying with Jen, then I can supply you with a potion to take at bedtime that will help you have a pleasant night's rest. You would be truly amazed at how much better you feel, physically and emotionally. But its yoru choice."

"My other idea is that you allow yourself and Fauve to be my guest tonight at the farm and let Katherine and I spoil the daylights out of Fauve while you get some real sleep. If you stay at the farm, I can block those dreams a bit more effectively and be sure that you sleep all night peacefully.

The hand definitely looked better. There was still a fair bit of redness but Eli didn’t doubt that it would go away in a few days. He held his healed hand in his right one and nibbled on his bottom lip. He was thankful indeed but he felt that the whole thing could have been avoided somehow. Oh he knew it could have been but it wasn’t as if he was usually distracted while smoking. Elijah nodded at Robert’s words. When he got home he’d definitely put a bit of healing salve on his hand to speed up the process of the redness disappearing.

Jen’s house, that’s exactly where he wanted to be. He wanted to go back to the place the Dent siblings had liberated in Knockturn Alley and crash out for good. He needed the room that the woman had furnished for him. He needed that bloody bed. It felt like he was sleeping on clouds and that was what he needed right now. That and the potion that Robert was offering. But Jen’s house was familiar to him, the smells the sights and he knew where everything was. The only thing you could never be sure of was where Rob had ended up sleeping. But the strange place in Knockturn Alley that he’d made home for the summer was where he wanted to be.

“As much as I’d like to take you up on that offer Robert, I just want to go home.” He said as he slipped off of the bed. Elijah shrugged his blazer back on and mussed his hair up. “It’s familiar y’know? I mean I’m sure if I spent an extensive amount of time at the farm then I’d be there in a heartbeat but I guess Jen’s house is where I’m based now and I’d feel better about everything if I was there.”
Outside, Jen wandered back down the hallway towards Brienne and Daniel. She stopped next to the young girl and threw out some of her magic so she could listen to the conversation going on inside the treatment room. Jen caught the tail end of what Eli was saying and clapped her hands together. “Oh goodie!” She exclaimed. “I do like it when my boy comes home.” She glanced at Brienne and Daniel and the snobbish pureblood nature came out in Jen as she wondered where her surrogate son had picked them up from. But somehow her compassionate nature overrode what had been ingrained in her since birth and she suggested, “You two can stay also if you wish. We’ve got lots of spare bedrooms or you can stay in Eli’s room.” Jen shook her head. “Merlin knows it’s big enough.”

((^^ There you go Brienne! You can post now!))

Brienne looked excited, "For real? I'll go with you! Thank you!"

Daniel smiled, "I'll go too. Maybe while we're there, I can teach Brienne the trick of the trade when it comes to massages. She's got talent with her hands in other regards, but I think that it can be improved."

Brienne smiled, "I'll admit that. My hand-eye's pretty sharp, though. It's just trying to tame these wild things." She balled her hands, then opened them repeatedly. Balling and opening. Her dominant hand seemed to be quicker than the other hand.

"Maybe, Deej, I can teach you something. Like, sharpshooting. Or maybe something else if you need not know it. I'd feel bad for not teaching something in return, Daniel Joshua."

Brienne's black wolfish ears stood up on end, to indicate she was happy. She also wagged her tail, which thumped on the chair with each swing.

"Merlin, I need an animal form or something. It'd come in handy" Daniel said.

((YAY! I'm free! ^^ *shot*))

"That's fine, Eli," Robert said. "You know where to find me if I can help" Robert took a potion bottle from a cabinet and a smaller empty bottle and poured some of the golden colored potion into the bottle and corked it and attached the appropriate label with dosing instructions on it. This potion just always tasted a lot like scotch. He had not intended that, but somehow the two potions that Eli seemed to need today were the two that tasted like booze. Well, he didn't believe Eli would be bothered much by that.

He handed the bottle to Eli. "There is enough for you to try for tonight. If it works, come back sometime tomorrow. I'll give you more. No charge." He looked at Jen, trying not to glare. This was one potion that was extremely dangerous for a witch or wizard to try to duplicate. The ingredients were rare, and Robert had to go into remote parts of India to get them. A place he knew Rob could not go.

Some of the other Knockturn potioneers had tried to duplicate it, and had ended up only creating poisons. He figured Jen was smart enough to know that this was one of the very precious few that were almost impossible to duplicate illegally simply because of the cost factor alone. His hope was that if he offered to give Eli the potion for free that Jen was not out of touch with the potions industry that she wouldn't get Robert's message. Personally, if someone was going to buy illegal potions from Rob or Jen that could not be purchased legally, then more power to them. However, when the potion was available legally and cheaply, he did object to Rob wanting to sell those.

"You don't object to that do you, Jen?" Robert asked rather pointedly.