Stuck in Second Gear

Adrienne's lips parted but all she could muster in response to his question was a shrug. Perhaps going on like that hadn't been helpful. But it had felt rather good to get out her frustrations once the opportunity had made itself known.

When he went on, she actually tilted her head a bit, a bright smile taking over as she fought the urge to laugh. Was he being serious? It wasn't until he leaned in that she sobered a bit, her bemused expression changing into a more curious one. She probably should have been blushing, really, considering how bluntly he had put his aims and goals for the future. But she knew all that, in a way. Not the reason, but the ends Selwyn wanted. The ends justifying the means, in this case, actually made a great deal of sense. He truly needed someone who could fall his shoes down the road.

Instead of letting herself focus directly on the possibility that he wanted her to step up and help him reach those goals, she decided to fire a question at him. So, leaning forward a bit to mirror him, she asked, "and what is it, exactly, that you think I'll end up leading? It isn't as though I would fit in with the Order, is it? From what I can tell, they need a commander, not just a leader. And I'm neither of those things.

"Besides," she added, rolling her eyes, "I've only ever met two people, besides you, who I know for sure are in the Order. And, while I don't like saying it about anyone, I sort of hated them. They ruined things for me when I tried to be helpful, so I don't know that I'd want to get involved there."

Fixing him with a bemused smile in an attempt to steer the conversation back towards the topic he had intended, she added, "I mean, that probably wasn't what you meant or had in mind, though, is it?"

"No!" Selwyn spluttered out along with a laugh.

"My God, Addie, you've spent too much time around Slytherins. Not everything has an ulterior motive, you know."

"I just thought it would be a bit of fun and give us something to do. And... okay, maybe I considered the possibility that it might improve your self-esteem. You seem really self conscious," he confessed.

He looked down to pick at at a loose thread on his jeans.

"And I suppose it didn't exactly escape my notice that you'd need to know certain things if you decided you'd like to come up to Sìth Brugh," he continued. "But it wasn't foremost in my mind. And I certainly wasn't thinking about the Order. You know I'd never try to force you to do something you don't want. Isn't that why you're here?"

Her cheeks colored, but at his comment, they reddened all the more furiously, and she looked away. She wished she could say she felt apologetic or embarrassed fully about it. But she was still so worked up from her little ramblings - which, it seemed, had not been what he was really after - that she was more irritated that she was being obvious about it. In all fairness, she should have known better, given that he had said it before. But somehow, her attempts at tempering her statements or appearing humble somehow had made him think she was making a point or fishing for something.

Isn't that what those comments usually were for, when it came to those who were inescapably self-depricating and self-conscious? Adrienne wasn't sure. But it often seemed that way. While she wanted to believe she had never been one of those people, she doubted it was true.

Instead of responding to that comment, she replied with, "I did spend several months learning from a Slytherin before starting to teach. You can blame him."

It surprised even Adrienne herself when she just nodded in understanding instead of getting embarrassed or feeling affronted. "I know you wouldn't. But I just need you to understand that my parents aren't really involved. And I can't exactly go and tell them what's happening, since we told them we wanted this. Kaiden and I, that is. So I was trying to get to the point where I was okay with doing things on my own. But I'm more of a realist, or a cynic depending on who you ask, so I have few illusions that this will all go over well.

"That's also why I pointed out that I couldn't lead anyone. I'm not foolish enough to believe otherwise. I might like to teach again, but that doesn't have the same feeling to it."

Selwyn's forehead creased.  He had a feeling they weren't only talking about a re-enactment of My Fair Lady any more.

He sighed.

"And I'm just saying I don't want you to command an army.  I just want to teach you a few things so you can hold your own when you have to see Kaiden again.  You're going to have to see him again before this is over."

He reached over and grasped her chin, turned her head back so she was forced to look at him.

"You're not the only one who's a realist, Addie."

"That's true," she conceded with a sigh. Now that the paperwork had been turned in, it was just a matter of time before someone showed up to have a 'talk' with her, or before they started receiving Howlers or something even more unpleasant. It was really good of him, she thought yet again, to let her stay when all manner of madness could occur any time.

His fingers reached for her chin, and Adrienne found herself looking up just enough to meet his gaze as he wanted. The inner corners of her eyebrows flashed downwards for just a moment before they returned to their normal, neutral location.

"I know that," she replied, her voice at more of a murmur than it was before. "I forget, sometimes, that I'm not responsible for everything, as I used to be."

As she spoke of responsibility, it occurred to Selwyn that he still didn't know Adrienne nearly as well as he'd like.

"I'm going to get the wine."

He stood up decidedly, but made no move toward the door.

"I'm going to get you thoroughly drunk and then we're going to play a game," he drew out the last three words, voice dropping as he did so, although his face remained impassive.

"Okay?"

When she'd come to stay, Selwyn had thrown out his stock of alcohol, but there was still one bottle left in the pantry. He'd held onto it and told himself it was only for cooking. It was a good thing he was so adept at lying to himself, he thought.

Adrienne knew what anyone who had known her from school would have expected her to do. They would have been completely unsurprised if she had told them they were ridiculous, before going up to bed and pretending such a question had never once met her ear. Now, however, it was surprise on her features instead of disdain. And, admittedly, curiosity lingered there as well.

"Um," she faltered, sitting back a little in her spot on the couch. "I- well, I can certainly understand the appeal of getting drunk, especially with everything that has been going on lately."

A mix of something like a scoff and a laugh escaped before she continued with, "so, I mean.. Sure," and she shrugged. This time, it actually did feel nonchalant and open, and she didn't even feel that moment of lingering uncertainty that she expected to.

Smiling, Selwyn shook his head as he made toward the door. From the kitchen there were brief sounds of cupboards being opened and closed, glasses clinking, and the pop of a cork.

He returned with his prize, poured for each of them and passed a glass to Addie as he resumed his place on the couch.

"Cheers," he raised the glass before lifting it to his lips, barely even taking a sip. Just because he said he'd get Addie drunk didn't mean he intended to as well. Well, probably not, anyway.

"So, lets play a game," the corners of his mouth twitched as he suppressed the smile. "Do you want truth or dare?"

For someone who thought she was observant, Adrienne didn't actually pay much attention to Selwyn's actions when it came to his drink. After the night he had been through, she wouldn't have blamed him for choosing to become utterly trashed. So she instead looked down at her glass before taking a drink from it after returning his gesture.

His question surprised her, though, and she turned her head suddenly to look at him. Her lips were parted as she tried to decide how to reply. Or, rather, which to pick. She had never known if it was cowardly to pick truth, or just as cowardly to pick dare. Neither side had zero consequences, after all.

She narrowed her eyes at him slightly, even as a smile quirked the corners of her lips upwards. "Truth," she declared finally, lifting an eyebrow and lifting her glass to her lips again to peer at him over the rim of it.

Truth was Selwyn's favourite. If it were up to him, the game would be called Truth or Truth.

"Hmmmm," he let the rim of his own glass rest against his lips as he thought.

There were, of course, heaps of things he wanted to know. That was the whole point of this childish entertainment. But it was early yet and Selwyn knew he couldn't dive right into asking the things he was most curious about until Addie's defences were sufficiently lowered.

God forgive him, for he was totally about to sin.

"So, these other Order members you've met, who were they?" he began with something easy.