221B

Bentley's fingers darted over Baldric's spine when he neared once more, finding himself as amazed as ever that Derek and Nancy weren't the type to judge the pair of them for what they had chosen. Ben's eyes felt almost trained on the soft carpet beneath their feet, but his chin lifted as Baldric moved away to help Nancy in the kitchen. Swallowing hard, the dark-haired man turned to find Derek watching him with an almost knowing expression on his face.

"What is it, then?" Derek asked finally, pushing his hands into his trouser pockets and shifting his weight uncomfortably. Bentley would have sat down were it not for the sheer discomfort that the question brought.

"You asked why I hadn't ever tried to find my birth parents." He began after some hesitation. Ben knew full well that Nancy could hear him, considering the kitchen was only cut off by a bar and lowered lights. There was nothing to block sight or sounds between them, and the openness of it was slightly disheartening. Derek nodded, seemingly aware of where the discussion was going. "I have someone who can find out, and she's working on it."

Nancy stiffened across the room, staring down at the pan she had going in order to make Bentley's favorite: frittatas with ham. When he caught the motion out of the corner of his eye, Ben's lips moulded into a straight line. If Baldric attempted any sort of eye contact, the older man refused to find out. Instead, he looked again to Derek, waiting for a reaction.

Mr. Ashford just stood there for a moment, looking at the floor, and Bentley wondered for the first time if Derek and Nancy had just wanted to know if Ben was curious about his folks. His eyebrows tugged together, eyes sparking with pain regardless of his attempt to hide it. Had he just gotten himself involved in something that would hurt them, too? That idea showered him in guilt, and Ben let out a huff before sinking into his usual chair.

"I thought you wanted me to," he muttered finally, looking very like Derek as he stared at his shoes.

"We wanted you to think you could." Nancy explained, releasing the pan and walking around the bar. Her hips rested against it as she faced him, waiting for Ben to look up before continuing. "There are things we don't know about you yet, and we're always finding new sides to you that we didn't expect, so we just-"

"Nancy."

Derek's expression was cold suddenly, but it took a moment for Ben to understand what Derek expected him to think. Ben's eyes jumped to Baldric finally, a sort of hollow feeling gnawing at him. Not minutes ago, Ben had commented on their acceptance mentally, but did they? It seemed like they did, even if they were surprised by it. Nancy, though, didn't understand the implication, and looked thoroughly confused. "We just want to know you like normal parents would, Ben."

Bentley nodded slowly, his mouth turning down in a frown. "Well, it's already been started," he told them, leaving his chair and walking around the bar to stand next to Baldric. Even under the pretense of intending to help with breakfast, the need to be close to his Gryffindor was incredibly strong. "But I actually need to speak with Bae for a second, if someone can take over for him?"

Nancy just nodded, giving Ben leave to nudge at Baldric's back and lead the younger man upstairs, to the room farthest from the kitchen. As soon as the door closed, he pulled on Baldric's arm, tugging the blond into his arms and dropping his forehead to Bae's shoulder. "I think I offended them," he breathed. "But now I'm so close to knowing that I just have to."

Activity for the hands did nothing to busy the ears and thus when the discourse began across the kitchen island, just in the living room, between Derek and his son, Baldric could only do but listen, his eyes half closed, forced to slits in determination not to hear. Doing so only made his hearing sharper, however, and he took a steady breath as he continued to move the items round in the pan, absorbing the words passed between Derek and Ben.

When Nancy left his side at the stove to chip in, however, Baldric could not ignore the situation under a pretence of being focused elsewhere. He turned, relinquishing his hold on his own pan and pressed himself back against the counter, folding his arms over his chest as he looked between the family members, trying to discern whether he could see anything of his own family in them. Nancy and Derek remained level-headed, however, and therein he decided that there was no comparison worth making.

Swallowing a lump in his throat at Nancy’s words, Baldric buried the twinge of hurt and turned back to the stove, trying to force off the colour that had risen in his cheeks with focus on something else. What was worse was Derek’s warning shot, in a tone that was hard and indicative of a desire to tread eggshells rather than face the double-entendre of her words. Baldric took his hand off of the pan handle, recognising the seizing heat of the metal in his palm. He flapped it down by his side, biting down on his tongue to keep from vocalising his pain and he reopened his eyes.

Before Baldric had a chance to continue nursing any kind of offence in regards to Nancy, he was stolen away and pressed into thinking about something else, something more important than his own fragile need for acceptance. He followed dutifully, wandering after Ben in some sort of vague daze as Nancy’s words continued to rumble around his head. He couldn’t decide what it meant, whether she was for, against or ambivalent towards them. It wasn’t important, though. It wasn’t the point of their being there in the first place.

The door closed behind Baldric and he stumbled out of his thoughts, casting his eyes quickly around the room before being dragged into Ben’s arms. He went willingly and without a second thought brought his hands up to the elder man’s back, leaning his head against Ben’s. He couldn’t say he understood but he felt he got it, even if it wasn’t in the same degree. He supposed that in finding his parents, Ben would be able to orientate himself better in the world. In understanding where he came from, he could figure out where he was going. It wasn’t healthy, necessarily, but it was natural and Ben was only human. They were all fallible.

“Probably,” Baldric sighed into Ben, breathing the elder man’s musky scent as he lifted his fingers up and down his spine. “But, hey, think about it. They’re probably scared shitless. I mean, hypothetically, say you’ve adopted, eh? So for the sake of the argument we’ll call him Tim and imagine he’s sweet and clever and made for success and looks like you when you’re a little bit sullen or have that mischievous glint in your eye and just think how'd you’d feel if he turns around and says he’s going to look for two people who haven’t been there but you have. You’re going to back him, aren’t you, one hundred per cent but it’s going to hurt at first because as far as you’d be concerned they could never do a better job than you. It’s a kick in the teeth a bit, isn’t it, because what happens if he decides he’d rather have them than us, right? It’ll be a nightmare. So just … give them a little bit of wriggle room on this one.”

Baldric brought his hands up to Ben’s shoulders and leaned in, teasing his head towards Ben's as his fingers probed across his lover’s cheek. Baldric’s lips found Ben’s and he kissed him with all of the gentleness in the world. It wasn’t a lustful embrace of the lips. Rather, it was slow and gradual and even when his tongue slipped in to coax at Ben’s he did so in a way which inspired no rush of southerly blood and though his hands did slip underneath Ben’s shirt to brush across the warm skin of his back he poured not desire, albeit it was there, but love without preamble or solemnness. He needed Ben to know it and to feel it in every fibre, in every cell and believe that it would never, ever change.

Slowly, Baldric slid his lips away from Ben’s and he reached up to comb his fingers through the front of the man’s hair. Baldric slipped his hand down to Ben’s chin and brought him forward again, kissing him once, chastely, before smiling at him, an easy, slow grin that gradually made its way up to Baldric’s eyes. He dropped his hands down, back to leave his arms loose around Ben’s middle and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against that of the darker haired man.

“They love you, Ben,” he said in a low undertone, as though it was himself admitting such feelings rather than reminding the other man of the way his parents felt about him. “They just don’t want to see you hurt by whatever outcome, uh,” Baldric paused, his face changing into one of curious befuddlement as he tried to find the word. “You know what I mean,” he decided with a little chuckle. “They’re just worried – that probably isn’t a strong enough word, to be honest. I’m worried but they must be really, genuinely upset. You want this, they’re not going to begrudge you of it – none of us are – but we are concerned, that’s the thing.”

Baldric squeezed his arms around Ben and smiled a little again. “You’re going to find out,” he promised, “and it’s going to be alright.  But it doesn’t change who you are, okay? You are still theirs at the end of the day and unless I’m really off the mark, that’s all they want to be sure of. Hell,” Bae lifted his hand to Ben’s face. “I want to be sure of it too. I’m with you, alright? You know that, don’t you? I’m going to be in your corner on this. I know it probably sounds like I’m being a bit one sided but please know I do want this for you. I want whatever you want, Ben – but moreover I want you to be happy and if this is it then I am going to be behind you every step of the way, okay?”

Unable to contain himself, Baldric tightened his grip around the Slytherin and pulled him tight to him, pressing his head into Ben’s neck. He could smell the freshness of the elder’s shower gel but underneath it was Ben in his entirety, every pore had that intoxicating scent he loved. His kisses against that skin were feverish, loving and insistent. As far as Baldric was concerned, Ben just needed to know. He needed to be reassured. He just needed to be shown he was loved.

Bentley lifted his head in surprise, lips parting as his breath escaped. He probably looked the fool for staring at Baldric, but he couldn't help it. The name, the exact descriptors, the Us. His forehead relaxed, shoulders fell, and yet his fingers gripped more tightly. Could they really-? Could Ben ever-?

No, he wasn't sure he could. He didn't even understand what it meant to be a son. He had no sense if he thought he was the sort of person to comprehend parenting. But the Us. That word changed things, didn't it? With Baldric, what would his life be, really? They were almost together but not properly, and that made all the difference. His breath was stolen, his thoughts halted as Baldric moved forward. Ben's fingers curled around the younger man's bicep, and he hummed quietly in return. His eyes remained shut long after Baldric started talking again.

He understood every word that was given to him, but instead of finding a way to answer, Bentley's fingers drifted up and down his Gryffindor's back. His. That word meant more than it should, really, but his head fell back as his torso arced towards Baldric.

"Bae," he attempted. "I don't know exactly how it happened, because it was incredibly fast. But I love you. Especially because of our problems and fights, but also because I - I want you in all parts of my life, not just this one. Because I really would want a Tim if you thought I could handle it."

Ben's hands came up to Baldric's cheeks, ensuring that the blond was looking at him. "Thing is, if I don't find out, I'll wonder and it will come between me and them, and me and you, and law or not, I refuse to let go of you. I can't. I wouldn't know who I am. I'm not even sure who I was before you, anymore, if I had actually been anyone or anything at all. It sure doesn't seem like it."

He knew they had to go back downstairs, but he didn't want to at all. Ben would have been content to just lock himself in the office with Baldric forever. Without the Ministry or parents or anything. Just them together as he was growing more and more convinced they should be. That drunken first night wasn't an accident by any means, even though Bentley had apologized at the time and been completely lost as to what he was doing. It was a strange twist of fate or something along those lines, and Bentley decided to just accept it as such. His eyes found Baldric's again, and he opened his mouth to say they should go for breakfast but that wasn't what came out. "God, I love you, Bae. And I would love our Tim, I'm sure of it. But I think we both know it can't happen yet, even if you really meant it. Yet, obviously, being the key word." Ben's gaze dropped for a moment, but he blinked and found a determined strength within him as he reached a hand for the doorknob. "I'm yours, Baldric. No matter what comment someone might make, and regardless of the damn Ministry. I'm convinced that this can't last forever, which is why I wanted to be wary and... Just us, last night. So we need to go back, but I had to just say, y'know?"

Ben swallowed, nodded to assure both of them, and stole a kiss before moving to open the door.

As Baldric embraced Bentley’s words he reflected upon his own and his pale cheeks so in need of some summer sunshine coloured scarlet as he realised what he’d said and the presumption that he’d made. He’d not intended on saying ‘us’ – it was a maddening through even to himself. There were too many obstacles in the way to think about something like that, to pin his hopes on something like that. He hadn’t ever known what he’d sacrifice – love or children. Combining the two had been such a far off, crazy sounding thing that now it was in the air, much to his dismay Baldric found that he wanted it, desperately.

The fear that scorched through Baldric, however, was one which had made him intently consider choosing the latter to sacrifice. There were conventionalities to romance – arguably he and Ben didn’t embody any of them but it wasn’t a difficult concept. He could do romance in his sleep. He was in love with the concept just as he was in love with the people who he was with. It was something that he could orientate himself around even though really all he wanted was a family, something to replace that which was so broken in his own life.

As far as he’d been concerned, it was never going to happen given his predilection for members of his sex. He’d half come to terms with that even though he was afraid that there would come a moment in time when in desire for a family he’d do the foolish thing and marry a poor, unsuspecting lady for the sake of it. He didn’t want that, for himself or for her, but all he wanted was to try and make good on what his own parents had failed to do with him. He wanted to make sure he was there for his child – children, he hoped – and he wanted to get them to adulthood still liking him, ultimately. He never wanted a child to look at him the way he looked at his father, ever.

For the two to come together, potentially, uttered as honestly as Ben was suggesting it could when and if the time came, Baldric felt utterly elated and simultaneously awed. He wanted to seize the man again and kiss him and lock the door of the office and hide there with him until Derek and Nancy had no choice but to check they were still alive. On the spot he wanted to prove to Ben how much it meant to him. It wasn’t about knowing when, it wasn’t said intentionally and certainly not to spur Ben into doing something irrational. Him taking that idea on though and consenting to it for when the time was right was all that Baldric needed. To know that it could happen, the bones of an idea, made him feel giddy. It was all he needed to hear.

“I love you,” Baldric replied simply, leaning into Ben’s hands. He kept his hands warming around the base of Ben’s back and he smiled at the man, turning his head into his left palm to nibble at it, pressing kisses here and there. He straightened himself up a bit and relinquished his hold on Ben’s back, reaching to tuck the shirt back into his trousers neatly.

“It was only an analogy at the time but I…” Baldric hedged his bets, “I’d love to have a Tim with you,” he chuckled a little – it was absurd to think about, really. “We have time. Even if things were better it’s a hare-brained idea. We’ve not got our stuff sorted enough for there to be a child involved and besides that we don’t have a garden,” Baldric smirked, leaning forward to press a few kisses to Ben’s jaw.

“You’ve got me,” he promised with a whisper into the elder man’s ear. He caught hold of Ben’s hands and squeezed them reassuringly, ribboning his fingers between Ben’s on one hand before relinquishing the other for the man to lead with. “By hook or by crook, you’ll always have me.”

Baldric followed behind Ben, releasing his hand just as they reached the bottom of the stairs. They made their way back into the living room and kitchen. Since they’d left, little to none of the tension they’d left behind had dispersed and Baldric was almost tempted to say there was more. He didn’t move from Ben’s side when he entered, electing instead to splay his fingers across the brunette’s back, reminding him that he was there. There had been far too much space between them before and it had left Ben exposed. He’d stick to him now, he decided, not only to reassure him but, also, to keep out from under Nancy’s gaze. Plus, he felt right there, by Ben’s side. There was nowhere else he wanted to be.

What the hell had he done?

Bentley was going to be in so much trouble, and he had absolutely no idea how to get out of it. Now he was running late and had far more to tell Baldric than originally intended. In truth, he was terrified, but a part of him was actually rather pleased with the whole situation, considering it meant that he would be closer to his father in the end. Because of what he had agreed to, and what he had done.

It had started with meeting Lorcan at the apothecary and ended with Bentley at Dark Manor, taking a sort of test with Veritaserum. He had given away too much, even though some of it he managed to hide and keep to himself, but now they knew more than they should have. And now his arm was permanently a sign of his choice. Bentley wasn't entirely sure he regretted it, except that his Gryffindor would not necessarily understand his reasoning. He hardly seemed the sort to approve of the Death Eaters or their cause. And while Ben wasn't, either, it was the means to an end, and even the elder of the two men knew that saying and how wrong it could often be.

If his explanation to Baldric went badly, Ben wasn't sure he would ever make it to sleep that night. The idea had been that, since Rose wasn't due back until Monday morning, that entire weekend could be theirs at the flat. No sneaking about, no lying about business weekends. Although, really, that wasn't quite lying, considering the two got involved in what might be termed the oldest business. But it still felt like it made a difference when it came down to semantics. He needed Baldric there to be an anchor and remind him not to lose himself as he got further and further involved in things with his father. But if his interaction with Kip had shown him anything, it was that Fridays were simply not the best days for him. Fridays seemed to go wrong, reset by Saturday when he usually found a way to see Baldric in some capacity or other. Even if Bentley was meant to have his lover for the entire weekend, this could certainly put a wrench in their plans.

At the very least, Bentley could put forth the fact that he hadn't gone off to drink, no matter how desperately he wanted to. Instead, his shirt sleeves had been rolled down, cuffs buttoned to ensure that he could hide it for as long as possible. Perhaps drinking wouldn't actually be a bad idea, part of him mused. At least Ben could pass that off without any real reason, and it would give him time to figure out how to word it. The idea of purposefully getting Baldric drunk sounded like a terrible idea, though, so Ben tossed that away immediately. It was just the fear talking more than anything else, and he felt horrible for considering it at all. That thought was pushed to the side just as the door was thrown open, the Slytherin graduate walking in a good thirty minutes late, if not more.

As soon as his eyes found Baldric, Ben tried to relax but found himself tense and wary. He still extended his right hand, though, offering his apology. "Sorry, that took much longer than expected. Honestly," he added, bewilderment coloring his tone, "I'm slightly surprised you waited."

Eagerness had brought Baldric home early. Brandishing his old Quidditch duffel bag stuffed with some clothes or the weekend, though he perfectly intended to spend the majority of it starkers, he let himself in, calling out in search of his lover as he abandoned his shoes and the bag in the hallway. Rose had been gone since earlier on that afternoon and by the warmth of the flat Baldric supposed he’d only just missed her and he was grateful for that. But as he made his way around the flat, opening up the doors, even checking in the utility closet, he found that he’d also missed Ben, too. The dark haired Slytherin was nowhere to be found and so after shedding his jacket, he began to wonder what he was going to do.

The natural curiosity within Baldric, coupled with his jealousy, meant that he was going to start by having a wander through Rose’s things. While he did not pry further than entering what should have been the spare bedroom or a bedroom for their Tim, even – that alone made him feel too nervously upset to want to linger long. Thankfully a Quidditch match sufficed as to distract the blonde and he abandoned himself on the sofa, sprawling across it with his long legs limp over the end, an arm curled absently behind his head with the other coming to rest over his stomach. The game was mindless, dull really, but it helped pass the time and soon enough the door was opening.

Hearing Ben’s footsteps on the linoleum made Baldric perk up, rising up from his laying position just as the Tornadoes scored. He didn’t care – could care less – and scrambled to his feet, hurrying over excitedly to Ben who he immediately took up in his strong embrace, his lips finding his lover’s to declare wordlessly just how despaired he’d been upon arriving home with no one around. A hand travelled up to cup Ben’s cheek and Baldric sighed into him happily, pulling away with a contented smile to look at Ben, to smooth his thumb across the elder man’s cheekbone.

“Why?” Baldric asked, his eyebrows quirking up in surprise. “It’s our long weekend. Of course I’d wait. We have hours, yet, to squander. What’s half an hour or so in all of that, eh? I didn’t cook cause, well, I didn’t know what you had in mind if anything so I didn’t touch I’m just here and you’re here and this is going to be perfect.” Baldric kissed Ben again impulsively, pulling back with a grin.

In Baldric’s mind there was going to be nothing better than this. It would be like old times. Before the law. He was determined, also, to heed Bridget’s advice and confide in Ben so that the man was not in the dark. Thing were changing rapidly and Baldric knew Ben needed to know. At the same time, he just wanted things to be uncomplicated. He wanted to enjoy the weekend, he wanted to love being with the man he adored. Sans the complications. It was just going to be about them this weekend. He just wanted to be. Without all of the aggro.

If Ben could manage it, he would continue to let Baldric think everything was fine. Because prolonging the time in which the younger man didn't hate him sounded like a brilliant idea to him. What Bentley really didn't want was to lose his Gryffindor -- especially not after what had just happened. But he wasn't naive enough to consider the idea that their time together would extend beyond that night. He wasn't convinced that he had the ability to control himself when it came to Baldric's advances, so he would undoubtedly fail even if he tried. Besides, what would Baldric think when Ben avoided doing anything? Nothing good, he was sure.

Either way, if was just a matter of time before his lover left him standing there alone and conflicted.

Even with his inner turmoil, Ben found a smile for Baldric as the blond met his gaze. He could do this. He could pretend for a while at least that things were normal and that the person he needed more than anything would stay. That he wouldn't scare him off. Not thinking about it would make it easier.

Not thinking about it, though, led Bentley to do something fairly stupid. Baldric moved forward again to drop another kiss, but Ben's hand moved up the younger man's arm to cling to the collar of his shirt, tugging him back for a third. He knew Baldric would probably catch on, even as his lips parted and a desperate "I missed you" left him. It shouldn't have been surprising, then, when he followed it up with an "I love you" and let his fingers push into Baldric's hair. Lingering too long, he forced himself to back up, sucking in a breath as he stared at Baldric.

Blinking twice, he hesitated before nodding. "Right. You said food?"

He was ridiculous to claim, even mentally, that he didn't have something else in mind. But he just needed a distraction. He had been overly obvious in his affection, and could only hope it wouldn't leave any doubt in the other man's mind as he turned to walk into the kitchen. "Not pasta again, I daresay?"

Had there been a moment’s more between them, Baldric was half-certain that he would have grasped at his lover’s sides and pulled him into the bedroom. There he would have kept him until the small hours or until their stomachs gave up and set about rumbling. Whatever eventually took them away, Baldric would make sure that before that Ben would know without a shadow of a doubt that he was loved. But of course, Ben stole himself back before Baldric had the chance and the blonde man had to settle with smiling fondly at the brunette.

“Food!” Baldric exclaimed enthusiastically, bouncing off towards the kitchen, showing his age in that moment more than any other.

The Quidditch player’s appetite lingered on and though Baldric hadn’t started anything, having lacked a clue as to what Ben wanted doing. Now, however, he could start mincing about without fear of meddling where he wasn’t warranted because he’d be corrected with a gentle word. Smiling, Baldric opened up the fridge and pulled out the salad drawer, inspecting it curiously. He pulled out a bag of spinach and then reached down in one of the cupboards, pulling out a small bag of potatoes.

“I shan’t treat you to pasta,” Baldric grinned, dropping the potatoes on the side. He abandoned the spinach too and closed the fridge, moving happily back over to Ben around whom he wound his arms affectionately.

“I am going to spoil you, okay? My gran used to make homity pie for Christmas every year…” he pressed a kiss to Ben’s jaw. “And I know it’s not Christmas but this is a special occasion so I’m going to bloody make it for you. D’you wanna be my sous chef?”

Baldric kissed Ben tenderly again before breaking away, roving around the kitchen like a willow the wisp, pulling out pots and pans from here, there, everywhere. He set up the food processor, found a pie dish that he was pretty certain that neither he nor Ben had even known the latter owned. Nevertheless, Bae managed to get everything together and then looked at his Ben.

“D’you wanna do the onions and the leeks, babe?” He asked, reaching up to take the flour out of the cupboard. “And we can talk and stuff. How your day was – y’know, the works!”

It was vaguely astounding to the dark-haired man that Baldric had not asked after what had kept Bentley so late. Indeed, he had implied that something had lasted past its intended hour, but no curious questions had been raised about the event - or, meeting - regardless. Bentley's hips rested against the counter as he let his eyes follow Baldric around the kitchen. A small smile lifted one side of his mouth, fingers toying with the fabric covering Baldric's chest when the blond found his way back to Ben.

He nearly commented on the fact that he had never done Christmas with people who actually cared or put in effort. Not until his last one, with Baldric. But that would have made things all the more unfortunate so he just nodded in agreement, accepting the kiss wordlessly. Questions were asked, though, and an endearment sent his way, so Ben pushed himself off the counter and prepared himself to be directed. Food lover though he was, he could let Baldric take the lead.

"I can do that," he replied, searching out the ingredients left for him to take care of according to Bae. "You're in charge tonight," he added, amused with the implication in his words.

His hands took up the leeks, spreading them over the chopping board, awaiting instructions. "My day?" He asked, finally realizing the topic was due to be set on him. "Mine was... Fairly disappointing, I'm afraid. Tiring, certainly. But it's better now," he conceded, tossing a smile Baldric's way.

The guilt gnawed at him, desperately hoping Baldric didn't chide him for his long sleeves potentially hindering his cooking abilities. Then again, the younger man had seen Bentley cook before without issue, so he could only hope it didn't cross his love's mind. Focusing on the task at hand for a moment, he turned his gaze to the vegetables. "I hope everything is going well at Keiran's," he offered, the sentiment dropped with the tone of a question. At the very least, he could hope that the topic could change. Every time the school was mentioned, Baldric could be convinced to chat on about it or whatever stupid thing Dylan had done to Nessa that week. Of course, Nessa had recently left to live elsewhere. So perhaps it wouldn't work this time. But he had his fingers crossed mentally, if nothing else.

Reflexively, Baldric wiggled his brows playfully at his lover as he filled a pot with water. Reaching up into the cupboard, he took out the table salt and liberally scattered some into the pot before adding a slight twitch of vinegar to the water. He set it on the stove before straying over to Ben, winding his arms affectionately around the elder man’s middle from behind, reaching to set his head on his shoulder.

“Mmm…” he mumbled into Ben’s neck, fondly pressing a kiss to the man’s neck. “You bet I am,” he chuckled. He rubbed his hand absently across Ben’s middle and squeezed him before letting go, reaching to grab a knife out of the block. He handed it over to Ben and smiled, instructing: “Just, um… circles will be nice, love. Nothin’ fancy. You might want to strip off the outer layers but it’s up to you.”

Baldric took a break and opened up the fridge, pulling out two beers, the caps from which he got rid of before handing over one to Ben. Baldric took a grateful swig of his and set it down with a smile to himself before stabbing open the bag of potatoes. He spilled them out onto the other chopping board. Then with efficient speed Baldric began to cut them up into fours, doing a fair few and chucking them into the pot as he went. Once finished he gathered up the potatoes again and replaced them back into the cupboard for later and the ones in the pot he began to boil, firing up the hob under the pot.

“Tomorrow’ll be better,” Baldric promised optimistically, reaching out to touch at Ben’s arm before whirling away to fetch the things to make the pastry dough. It was easy enough, all the stuff chucked into the processor. He let it do whatever he wanted and resumed spinning his arms around Ben, still enjoying the novelty of having the man back in his arms.

“S’okay,” he shrugged a little, leaning his head against Ben’s neck, watching as the man chopped at the leeks. “Busy and complicated, I guess.” He sighed. “I’m just weary in myself of it all, you know what I mean? It’s all so strained and not everyone’s happy. I don’t know. I just feel like we’re all on tender hooks. I don’t know whether I’m reading them all wrong or whether it’s just me … I dunno.”

Baldric shrugged again and tightened his hold instinctively on Ben, wiggling closer. This time, he didn’t feel the burning desire to talk about the school. In fact what played on his mind was what Bridget had told him but he couldn’t find the words somehow. He wanted to tell Ben, desperate too in fact. But it wasn’t going to come out of his mouth. Instead he met the idea halfway, expressing with a little bit of excitement the news he’d gotten that very morning.

“So, I got into my uni,” he said conversationally. “I start in September. There’s some sort of teaching thing involved too with all of the research but nothing’s been said about that, yet. It gives me a bit of purpose, though.” He smiled, closing his eyes and inhaling the soft smell of his lover. “Missed you.” He murmured, adding, “d’you wanna talk about your day?”