Re: Thinking of You

by **Avery Bishop** Wed May 21, 2014 2:27 am

R-

I just wanted to stop wondering about it. That’s all. I mean, you know when something just gets stuck in your head?

Technically, baby, I think you left part out. But Keiran explained. So it’s okay. I just wanted to hear it from you… I wasn’t sure if he was being honest with me. Things are… rocky for him and Melissa, and by extension, for me as well. Especially considering the last time we saw him.

Thank you, love. I feel better for knowing. I’m sorry I asked.

xA

by Robin Ivanov Wed May 21, 2014 2:34 am

A -

I need to visit him, don't I?

- R

by **Avery Bishop** Wed May 21, 2014 2:41 am

You don't have to, love. I think he needs you, though. Needs us. We were his go-to people, you know? I know full well that he has Millie, but it hardly makes up for friends he's known for ages. I know the difficulty that comes with having a single person - or no one, for that matter - to turn to. So if you want to, I think you should. I don't expect you to, though. I don't want to pick, but if I had to you know I would pick you.

x

by Robin Ivanov Wed May 21, 2014 2:54 am

Don't be ridiculous. You don't need to pick.

He might be an asshole but he's still my best friend. I do want to see him.. you know I do. I just don't know what I could say.

He knows how I feel about you but he kissed you. And I really really can't apologize for what I did.

I love him but I can't forgive him.

I don't know if I could talk to him like nothing's changed.

R

by **Avery Bishop** Wed May 21, 2014 3:05 am

Robin… You know full well that he didn’t do anything. He shouldn’t get my blame in this. I don’t see why you can’t accept that he didn’t do anything. You can’t base your reconciliation or lack thereof on something that he didn’t decide on. Something he didn’t ask for or even want.

I… I didn’t mean to, you know. That’s why I never want to get fully drunk.

I just don’t know what you want me to do or say anymore, Robin. I tried explaining and I’ve apologized a hundred times. Just… just tell me what you want.

-Avery

by Robin Ivanov Wed May 21, 2014 3:32 am

That's what you don't understand, Avery. He did do something. Even if it was just for a half a second when you were drunk, he made you want him. And no matter what you say or how hard I try I can't get that thought out of my head. You went to him. You wanted him. But he's the one that bet me that he could make you.

I don't know what I want. Scratch that, I do know. I want you. I'm so incredibly selfish that I want all of you, all to myself, all of the time. And I know that's unfair and impossible to ask of you but at this point I just -

It's like you said.. it's difficult just having one person. Somewhere along the line you've become that person for me. I need you. And knowing that Keiran has even a small piece of your heart feels a little too close to losing you.

- Robin

by **Avery Bishop** Wed May 21, 2014 4:00 am

Baby…

Robin, love, I tried to get off work so we didn’t have to discuss this over letters. But Rivah really needs us in today to finish up this paperwork.

I don’t want you to just have one person, Robin. I don’t want to be what pulls you back, my love, or keeps you from getting your friend back. You two need each other. You know that. You don’t think he wants Millie to think the same of me that you think of him, do you? It goes both ways.

You want to know why it happened? I can tell you exactly why. You won’t like it, but eventually I suppose I have to say it.

I told you about his family essentially taking me in. You know that part. But after graduation, we went to a party, and I mean, it was essentially the same thing that happened this time only he started it then. Robin, if what happened at Christmas was anything, it was a residual memory of happier times. It wasn’t me truly wanting him. I mean, I was so far gone I may have thought it was you sitting there. I can’t remember. That, of course, is also entirely my fault.

It all happened because I was jealous. You can’t possibly think that I don’t wish I were home right now to prove how very badly I need you. How much and how desperately I love you. Don’t you think for a moment that I could ever leave you. Not really. I don’t care if one of us gets frustrated and walks off – I will do everything in my power to make you come back. Or to find my way back to you. Don’t dare think otherwise.

You need to be mine as I am yours, or I will actually go mad. So I need you to accept this. To move past it. To keep me. I cannot lose someone who is actually part of me.

xx

by Robin Ivanov Wed May 21, 2014 4:36 am

Avery,

You're right, I don't like it. But I also understand and there's absolutely no fault in what happened years ago.

As for you being jealous.. I'd like to apologize for that. I shouldn't have handled Christmas how I did. It wasn't right to lash out at you like that or use the past as a weapon. I really do want us to be able to talk about things like this. Maybe it's finally stopped being so hard. Ask me anything, anytime. I don't want to keep secrets from you. No more surprises, okay?

And Avery? I am yours. I'll always be yours. I love you, Mrs. Ivanov.

For you, I'll try and let it go.

-R

by **Avery Bishop** Wed May 21, 2014 5:12 am

Robin,

It just- I mean, you scared me, you know? I didn't think I could ever be afraid of you. But then you made that comment about me never having been even your girlfriend and I didn't know what to do. So I bolted.

We shouldn't have fought after we'd been drinking. Clearly we should only drink when we don't intend on talking....

And I agree; I've always hated surprises, anyway. Remember that next week - I will walk out of a surprise party if you throw me one. Do not.

I never wanted you to think it was hard to talk to me. The very idea makes me cringe. So, please, let's not think on it after today. There are things that will take time to muster up the courage to explain, I'm sure, for both of us. But don't think I would love you any less because of mistakes or choices. I choose you, law or not, and I will always choose you. Even if it comes down to my last breath I hope you're there for me to tell you how much I love you and have loved you. I could never even consider choosing anyone else.

I don't care how much you deny it, I swear that I love you more. When I finish this paperwork I intend to rush home, and you had best be there so I can tell you again in person.

Yours completely,
Mrs. Ivanov

Note:

by Robin Ivanov Sun Aug 24, 2014 2:26 am

A -

Lana
Elsa
Annika

- R

Spoiler:

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