Cousins. Nah, Practically Brothers. Right?

"Sure it got cold and dirty, but it'w work- real manly work. The wages are your own, the fruits of you own seat and labor. Wouldn't it feel good to make your own money, rather than scoop from the family funds?" He had not made much money as a sailor, but enough to survive and to buy what he needed. You didn't need rent when you were at sea 51 out of 52 weeks a year.

"Nice kid," Milo repeated, rolling his eyes in an exaggerated motion. "You're smitten- that's your problem, Luce. You've always been waiting to fall in love." He smirked. Death Eaters these days- so ramped up with hormones. "The life is fun. Met some nice ladies really. Beauties, the lot of them. Settling down doesn't make sense. What about you? How are you going to settle down when you are being bossed around to murder innocents and screw the Ministry? You can't raise a family like that."

"Gross. Yes, I'd rather use family funds thank you." Lucifer shivered again. He didn't understand how Milo could do that. But, then again he was sort of admitting to being one who wants to be clean. He sighed. He never could win with Milo.

"I have not been waiting to fall in love!" Of course his statement was false, while Milo's was right. But he wasn't just going to let Milo win all the time. He folded his arms. "Who said I wanted to be a Death Eater all the time? Who said I wanted to settle down and raise kids? Milo, I don't even like kids! Hell, what if Darien doesn't like kids. Where am I going to get kids?" Lucifer stopped himself. He closed his eyes. Breath in and out. He didn't know why he was freaking out. Actually, he had a guess, but he wasn't going to bring it up. He's breathing returned to normal. " I can't, Milo. I'll probably never get to raise kids. Plus, dad's got Amaris. She can have kids. Why do I have to have kids?" He slouched and looked at the table.

Typical pureblood attitude. Merlin forbid anyone work for money. It wasn't Lucifer's fault, really. Laziness, complacency, entitlement, and selfishness were the traits simply bred into the purebloods. Milo was willing to bet he was the only d'Eath to actually hold a real job in a long time.

Lucifer was denying what Milo saw clearly. Milo was perceptive, he was clever- he had always seen through Lucifer's one night stands. He attached himself. Why did he still bring up Annabelle? Lucifer was a bit cold though- he acted like he didn't care, he treated them like they were nothing. The women Milo entertained might not mean the world to him, but he certainly made them feel that way.

Milo sighed and said, "Who said a family means kids? A couple can be a family so long as they decide to have a home and life together. But you're not allowed to love as a Death Eater, not if it gets in the way. Does Darien know he will always be second to your Dark Lord?"

Lucifer knew he probably sound a lot like most of the d'Eath family members when he said that, but he didn't feel like telling Milo about being Quidditch Keeper. Knowing Milo was Referee they'd probably end up seeing each other again.

"Don't say that. Do not say that." He closed his eyes again. Of course it was rule that the Dark Lord came first always, but Lucifer didn't follow that. It was the only DE rule that he didn't follow. If he was with someone, they came first. He reopened his eyes, staring straight at Milo. "Darien comes first. He has too. I don't want to f*ck this up. Darien knows what I do. He knows my obligations. But, he won't ever come second."

Milo had struck a nerve, which intrigued the older of the cousins. Most of them would not have batted an eye- they would have said they would kill for thee cause. Then again, how many of them would have risked bringing someone romantically into a situation such as their screwed up lives? No, Lucifer didn't want a lay, he wanted someone to love. Death Eaters hadn't the time for love though.

"And if you Lord knew that, who would he kill first, you or Darien? Or would he make it romantic, let you die together? You don't get to choose, Luce. If you want a boyfriend to be more important than your alliance, you obviously aren't a true Death Eater. What happens when your Lord finds out, tells you it's not acceptable? If you leave, you'll be just like me. If you stay, you lose him. It's going to come down to a choice- it always does. You're being idealistic putting it off."

"But why? Why does it have to be that way? Why can't I love someone?" Lucifer tightened his fists. "I am too a true Death Eater. I can't be like you. I respect the family rules. I listen to my father and mother. I do what I'm told! Unlike you! So, why do my responsibilities get in the way! Why? F*cking damnit." He hit his fist on the table. He didn't want things to be this way. He was supposed to be the older responsible, listens to his parents kid. He couldn't disobey their rule of being a DE. He couldn't, life wouldn't make as much sense.

"This isn't how things are supposed to go. I just.. I can't, Milo. I can't not be a Death Eater. I was made from the start to be a Death Eater. I've got problems, people won't accept me as a good person. I just.. UGH. I can't." Lucifer let his head fall on the table and rested it there. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt Darien." He said slightly muffled by the table.

OOC: STOP HURTING ME. ASADHJGDkFGS

Milo listened to the first half of Lucifer's speech, all of the ones excusing his behavior as fate or destiny. Milo shook his head. "Why do you think I left? It came to a point in my life where my goals that conflicted with the Death Eaters became more important than pleasing my dad. It hurt but... I lived for me. Have you ever lived for yourself, Luce, it is... I spent six years doing what I wanted. It was brilliant."

Lucifer continued and Milo said, "Who says you have to be good? You just have to turn your back on being actively bad. I'm not the pinnacle of goodness- I drink constantly, sleep with women without ever committing, and get into more trouble than I know what to do with. But you get bet your ass I am not hurting anyone, not strangers, not myself, and not the people that matter to me."

OOC: >=D

Lucifer sighed. He blocked out parts when Milo was talking about his time away. "Milo, I just.. Will you help me?" He looks at Milo. He knows this is something serious to ask his sometimes not serious cousin. He knew there was a part of him that wanted to be with Darien for a long time so he knew he had to be good. Like Milo had said, bad doesn't work out when you want to have a family. Not that Lucifer wanted kids, but he wanted Darien, and he didn't want Darien in danger.

"Milo, what would I need to do to switch sides." Lucifer said quickly, hoping to catch Milo off track. "I don't want Darien hurt. He needs to be safe. And in order for me to protect him, I need to be good right?" It all made Lucifer's head hurt. Thinking about the different sides. Lucifer had wished it wasn't so complicated.

Milo watched his cousin and sighed. He had broken through, but it meant hurt and heartbreak too. Milo had to escape the country to break ties. But he was older, more clever now, so he should be able to think of something that would better suit his cousin. But he had not exactly come prepared.

Milo raised his hands to his face and massaged his temples. With another sigh, he looked up at Lucifer and smiled. "I'm glad you see what I mean. Look, Luce... This is a really difficult thing to do. For now, hold tight. I'm going to try to help you out of it, okay."

Lucifer was so close to breaking down that he could practically feel it. He hated that all of this had to be so complicated. He knew Milo would be able to figure something out, Milo seemed to know everything. All Lucifer wanted to do was drop free from the Death Eaters and not put Darien in danger.

"Of course I see what you mean. I'm not daft. Well, I guess I sort of am. I mean, I joined the Dark Followers because of a girl!" Lucifer sighed and folded his arm on the table to rest his head. "How long do you think this will take, Milo?"