Second Glances, Second Chances

"Nice," Brian smiled, riding beside her, as they left the stables and the horses headed on their own for the blacktopped riding trails. 'Very nice. It isn't going to take you long at all to learn enough about this to be able to ride the unicorns. I don' know why this pair we have are a bit persnickety, but they prefer to go out riding only at either sunrise or sunset. And then only if they feel like letting you ride. They always let Khaat's mother ride, but I always figured it was because she could actually hold a conversation with them. I don't have that ability.

"The only other person I've seen them let ride in broad daylight is, ironically enough, Abbey. Robert had her in the corral with them one afternoon, and the unicorn stallion let Abbey sit on him and then let Robert get up with her and ride. But clearly, the permission was for Abbey. He allowed Robert so Abbey didn't fall off. He looked up and saw Archangel flying their way. He smiled.

"Somebody let the bird out for some exercise. What's he got..oh. I see," Brian said, noticing there was something in the bird's tallons. "His toy. Robert somehow got some sort of a magical fetch toy for him when Archangel learned to fly. The idea is simple. He drops the toy, we catch it and throw it. It flies like a bird and he goes after it. But, if we throw it in the water, it dives and swims like a fish and he has to catch it out of the water. It mimics hunting behaviors so that he doesn't have to hunt the wildlife on the property. And..here it comes." Archangel dropped the toy almost directly onto Brian. Brian was used to this and reached up and accio'd it into his hand. He reached back and pitched the toy with as good a pitcher's throw as any amateur baseball player and the eagle took off like a shot after it as the toy disappeared into the distance.

"That will keep him busy about two minutes," Brian laughed. "So, if you dont mind me asking, what are your magical skills? I do think you have some potential for animals. And the way you took to Abbey, you have the personality to be a really good healer. I think you could do just about anything you wanted to do, and you certainly have a wide variety of skills here to apprentice under if you choose to."

Faith smiled slightly and looked around, feeling the odd movement beneath her, it was exhilarating and exciting, and comforting all at the same time. "I don't think I could ever ride a unicorn.. I don't think they would like me" She laughed, and looked around, looking to be more at ease then she had been the whole time she had known Brian. Moving along with the horse, her hand sometimes moving to pat it's neck, or move the reins so the horse stayed where she wanted it to go, and didn't run into Brian.

Faith looked up when the Eagle came soaring down, and she nearly ducked, watching the bird was amazing. It's wingspan was gigantic, and it looked beautiful in the sunlight, as Brian tossed the toy off again, and the bird flew off after it. "That's pretty awesome." She said lightly, her eyes following the bird as it disappeared from view. "You guys must be really good at magic to do stuff like that.." she said smiling, and her gaze turned back to the view she was getting. The horse was high up enough that she could see farther then if she had just gone for a walk, it was faster, and she was slowly becoming accustomed to the constant movement.

"My magical skills?" she asked frowning. "I don't know if I have any.. I'm a Ravenclaw if that helps.. I read a lot.. and I'm pretty good at retaining facts.. that's about all I know.. I like to read, and that's what I mostly do at Hogwarts, besides homework anyway, and with OWLs coming up.. I've had the most homework I've had in ages.. well, I get it done really fast, and most people procrastinate on it.. but I'm usually done quickly.. and I read once I'm done with that.. I've never really given much thought to any magical abilities.. specially not something like magical creatures or healing.." she said.

It was the most she had spoken since she got there, since she had met them even, and she found herself blushing again, but she couldn't help it, the movement of the horse under her, and the excited feeling she was getting from being around so many animals, well it made her feel so relaxed and at peace, that she felt more comfortable in talking, even to Brian. "I really like animals.. I've just never been able to get close.." She said smiling. "I like plants too.. in fact I like growing things.. and.. and.. colors.. and.. Dragons, and helping things out.. and.. I don't know.." She went red again and shrugged. "People kind of scare me though.." She looked away from Brian, and gently pet her horse's neck, feeling some sort of odd connection and peace with the horse that completely calmed her down, got her heart rate to normal, and she relaxed back into the saddle, a noticeable calm falling over her after the brief contact with the horse's hair.

"Hm. Ravenclaw. Tells me you're smart. And quick. A quick thinker. The fighters I've trained who have come from Ravenclaw are some of the best I have at strategy. Thinking things through. Particularly when the pressure is on. They're good at multitasking. And they sometimes underestimate their own strength. Some of the ones I trained didn't think they were 'all that' because they didn't end up to be Gryffindors. But, there isn't a house in the school that can compare with the intelligence of a Ravenclaw and how well they use it.

"To be honest, sometimes we Gryffindors can be a bit stupid," he shrugged. "We love fighting for the greater good, and we love family and we're ridiculously loyal. And that has, at times gotten us into trouble. Instead of pulling someone out from under the proverbial bus, we're just as liable to jump under said bus in an effort to martyr ourselves for them. Our own kneejerk to save those we love is admirable, but not always as well thought out as it should be. But--it is what it is.

"But I do understand what you mean about not being so comfortable with people," Brian said. "I didn't like people when I was your age either. The only people I cared about at that age were Khaat, her parents, and her uncle. And as far as I was concerned, the rest of the world could have evaporated into dust. I just didn't care. I did work it out,but it took me awhile." He wasn't going to lay his whole childhood on her, but he did want her to know that she wasn't alone in feeling that way.

Faith blushed when he said she was smart and a quick thinker. "I'm not the quickest thinker ever.. I was in the forbidden forest once! And spiders were chasing us! And I mispronounced Stupefy.. I felt like such an idiot.. cause the girl I was with was also a Ravenclaw, and she pointed it out, and I felt dumb.." She said with a sigh. "When I get in the heat of the moment, my first instinct is to run, not charge in and fight." She said and then realized what she had just said.

Faith looked at him, her eyes wide. "But don't tell anyone I was in the Forbidden Forest alright? Student's aren't supposed to go in there, and I wouldn't have gone in, but this girl was in there, and I followed her in because I didn't want her to get in trouble, and then a three headed dog appeared, and spiders, and we found a maze." She said, almost out of breath at how quickly she was trying to explain exactly why she was in the Forbidden Forest.

Faith looked down at her horse when he talked about Gryffindors. "I've never been a big fan of Gryffindors to be honest." She said, her voice now soft again, placing her hand on the horse's neck for comfort. "They can be really mean sometimes.. and stupid.. not saying you are.. just a lot of them can be.." She said shaking her head. "I once saw a bunch of Gryffindors dump water on this girl just because she was a werewolf.. she ran off like, crying, and I felt bad, but there wasn't exactly anything I could do.. but I did tell a Prefect on them, and they got detention.." She said with a small smile.

"I don't like many people because they've never given me a reason to like them.. I don't have many friends at Hogwarts.. I read most of the time, so they kind of ignore me.. My teachers just know me cause I do my work, and don't cause any troubles, I'm not the most super smart girl in Ravenclaw, but I do retain facts pretty well.." She said looking around. "Like.. facts from books, I read a lot of books that have to do with a lot of different things.." She said and then sighed. "And then there's my dad..." she froze, and then went silent, her eyes gazing straight forward as she let her hands fall into her lap, letting the horse take the lead, and just walking calmly down the path. Faith's face was red, and she was slumped down slightly in the saddle, she looked worried.

Brian decided he had laid one card on the table. Perhaps he dared lay another. Carefully.

"You know," he said, "I don't know your dad, but maybe he does love you in whatever way he understands love. But sometimes people are just wrong. Parents are not supposed to put themselves first in a way that is unhealthy for their kids and themselves. Period. Khaat and I both know what its like to be hurt by people. Probably not in the same way you understand it. But--just so you know. We do know what its like.

"Whatever you choose for your life is cool with us--as long as you're safe and you're happy and as long as you have what you need. When Khaat and I offer to help someone, we're in it unconditionally until that person doesn't want us involved anymore. No strings attached. Its not because we have to. Its purely because we want to. We've both sorta been there, in our own ways, and if we can keep somebody else from dealing with some of the stuff we did, then every bit of it is worth it.

"One thing we've learned over the years is that the wizarding world is as different from the muggle world is going from one planet to another. All Khaat and I can do right now is to offer you an alternative to that other world, and when and if you're ready for us to do more, you'll let us know in your own time. And if you dont' want us to do more, you'll tell us to bug out. And if that becomes what you want, we'll respect your wishes.

"Until then, just enjoy it while you're here and we'll try to help you live as safe a double life as we can. And if we want to provide what you need, let us do it. Its not like we're hurting. We're not in any financial jeopardy."

Faith listened as Brian spoke, her eyes downcast, her hands shaking. He was speaking about her father... and she didn't know what to do. She loved her dad, she knew she did.. he could be hard on her sometimes, but he was nice too! She thought that was what love was.. and not having been shown any other way, well.. she hadn't even complained until.. well now. Now that she saw these parents with their children, children who bore no marks on their skin, children who were allowed to do things she never would have been allowed to do.

Magic, family, money.. these people were so nice to her, but they didn't understand, she knew that her father loved her, in his own special way. But she loved this family so much, she didn't barely know them, and she knew she wanted to spend more time here.. she wanted to come here in the summer, and ride a horse, and meet nice people, and talk to the girls, and get to be friends with Angus..

Faith's hands were shaking, and she knew that Brian knew about her bruises and cuts. Maybe Angus had told him, maybe he could just tell. She didn't want to tell him to bug out, she at the same time, she didn't want her father to know about them, and that meant it all had to be secret, and she had to act like she wasn't amazingly happy with these people. She had never been allowed to be this happy, so now that she was, she was terrified of letting it go.

Faith was staring straight forward, and after a long moment she whispered, her voice clogged with suppressed tears. "I don't know what to do.."

"Faith," he said. "You don't need to do anything different right now. Not if i you don't want to. You have ties to the muggle world, and, as I said, I'm sure your dad does love you the best way he knows how. For now, just let Khaat and I be here for you when you need us. When you need a place to get away to.

"Remember your History of Magic. I"m sure you read a bit about Harry Potter. His situation had a couple similarities. His muggle world wasn't very pleasant for him but he went back when the situation called for it. And when he needed to be elsewhere, he used to escape either back to Hogwarts or to friends. As I recall, the Weasley family was one of the families that provided a home for him.

"Perhaps that might not be a bad solution for you. Use the school for what it can do for you when it can do it. Have whatever relationship with your dad that you want. And then let us fill in the spaces in your life where you want us to fit.

"There is nothing that says it has to be all or nothing--not on any of it. As far as I can see, you can have it all, if thats what you want. We aren't asking you to never see your dad again. I'm not even slightly suggesting it. If you want the best of all three worlds, we'll help you get it. Its that easy."

Brian knew that at some point, Faith needed to have some place where she didn't have to try to live up to someone else's expectations. Where it was fine to be herself. And that was always hard in Hogwarts. It sounded like it was even harder for her to do back in the muggle world. He wasn't sure she even knew exactly what it meant to be Faith. But he was hoping that she would slowly spend enough time here to find out for herself who she was and what she wanted in her life.

Faith couldn't help it, she was struggling to hold back tears that were threatening to overwhelm her. She laid a hand on the horses's neck, and took a deep breath, feeling almost a soft calming sensation rise from her hand and up into her body. She slowed her breathing and nodded, moving her hand back to where it was more comfortable.

She listened to him explain about Harry Potter, and she nodded. She loved the story of the beloved hero. Raised in conditions that were not that far from Faith's, except hers were a bit more.. severe, but he had the same issue. Grew up not knowing what magic was, but having magical parents, on Faith's part she had one magical parent, who was always away. He had overcome it when he got to Hogwarts and met Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, and they had become his friends.. and the Burrow was with the Weasley's home.. where he got away to.. a good place, a happy place, he was saved.

Faith had always wanted to be saved like that.

And here was her opportunity, and she was almost too afraid to take it.

Faith took a deep breath, and calmed herself down again, nodding. "Thank you Mr. Lupin.. it's very nice of you to help me.. I just don't know what to do right now.. I'm very confused.. I feel very.. happy here.. happier then I've ever been before.. but.. Dad doesn't like that.." She said the last part very quietly, and it was almost drowned out by the sound of the horses's hooves. After a long moment, Faith took a deep breath, and shook her head. "You don't hurt your family... is that normal?"

OOC: Hm. Megapost. 1281 words. LOL

"Faith," Brian said, hoping he wasn't going over the line, "Your father can only control what you do when you're with him. When you're here, beyond the boundaries of the muggle world, he cannot penetrate here. He cannot dictate what you do. By the time you go home, those bruises are going to fade. They would have even in the muggle world. Its just how your body heals. So--if you want Khaat or me to at least take the sting out of those for you, it isn't more than your body will do for itself. Its just doing it a bit sooner. You deserve to not be in pain. No living creature ever deserves to be hit, to be burned, to have its bones broken, to be kicked, hit...No creature that has breath ever deserves that. And, as an auror, have I ever done that? Yes, but in self defense or in the defense of someone I loved. Would I ever ever lift my hand to my wife or my children? I'd rather die myself than to do that.

"There are evil men and women in this world too. Evil thinking, most of the time, originates in self centered thinking, Greed. Selfishness. When that supercedes how much that person cares for someone else. If you believe your dad loves you, well, then, you know him better than I do. I trust your judgement. But--if we were in the same room together, would I ever allow him to hurt you? No. No matter what the reason. I..I couldn't. Its not in me. Its just not in me."

He said nothing for a moment. Then he said quietly, looking straight ahead on the trail. "If you want to ask someone about abuse, about pain, about being burned, and bruised and broken, ask Khaat. And no, it wasnt' a family member. But she knows what its like to be hurt badly enough to be sent to the other side of the veil. Her father interceded just in time to draw her back. All I know is what abandonment feels like. Aloneness. Grief.

"My brother and sister were old--much older--and they were Hogwarts. I was 8, and I was taking a summer holiday with my parents up through a muggle fishing village. Our car was hit by a drunk driver. My parents were killed. My siblings refused to come for me. I sat alone at that hospital for hours. But--I'd met Khaat the day before on the beach just down the road from the apothecary her father worked at, dispensing medicines to muggles and, in the back room, to wizards. I had met her on the beach the day before, and she had shared her salt water taffy with me. We had played on the beach together.

"I dont' know how she found me in that hospital the next day or what she was doing there, but I remember of seeing her come down that hallway, dragging her father by the hand. The hospital staff told Robert I had no family left. He took me home with them. And I spent the rest of my childhood on their farm growing up with Khaat and Remus and Robert and Kate. And for ahilw, I was so angry and so griefstriken and alone that the only person who could begin to reach me or deal with me was Robert.

"In many ways, he's still my best friend. They were the parents I needed when I felt like I'd been tossed out by the world. When I had no place to go, and didn't have one soul in the world. They stepped in and became my family. So, yeah. I do know what its like to feel very alone and to wonder what a good family is and does. I couldn't understand why my brother and my sister never came for me. They knew I was alone, and they chose to not come.

"Robert and Kate and Remus and Khaat taught me that there are all sorts of different kinds of love. And some sorts of love make a stronger, healthier family than others. I'm not saying you don't have a family with your dad because you surely do. But--I can promise you one thing. If you ever are hurt here, it will surely be a genuine accident. Not something you've had to later say was just an accident. No one here will ever raise their hand to you. Does it happen that parents hurt their children? Yes. Is it right? No. Healthy families exist where parents do not hurt their children. A part of you already knows its wrong or you would not go to such lengths to try to hide it. We only hide what we already know is wrong in some respect or another. When you get the chance, think about that.

"And just like Harry had the Weasleys, who he knew always had their door open for him, any time of the day or night, no matter what, you do have that here with us. The Weasleys never tried to take the place of the Dursleys. But Harry knew, eventually, where he was better off.

"Let me give you a suggestion. Save the clothes you came in and use those for only when you go back to the muggle world. Let us give you better here. Thats what Harry did. He kept the better clothes for the wizarding world, and wore the rags the Dursleys gave him when he went back to them. And--if you really want to test us, when we go back to the house, take off the makeup and all the disguises of the bruises. See if those things that make you feel ashamed actually make us treat you differently. Test us. Its one of your fears. Its a natural fear. But test it out for yourself.

"If you want a preview, I think I can tell you. Bruises are what they are. We can reduce them, but they have to heal on their own to a given extent. We can quicken their healing but we can't make them totally go away. We could however, heal that burn you have. And, if you ever decide you dont want them anymore, we can make those scars you hide disappear permanently. But--we wont ever feel less about you.

"Sometime, when Khaat goes swimming, look at the scars she has. In my eyes, she is the most beautiful woman in all of creation. But--she has more than her share of scars. When she goes swimming next, look. Really look. When I go swimming. When Angus goes swimming. When Robert or Kate go swimming. Look. Really look.

"We're not that different. We're really not. What makes us different is that we are so tightly bonded that we would all gladly die for any of the others before we saw them hurt. The house, yeah, its a nice house. But wicked people have nice houses too. The Weasleys had litle more than a big shack. But Harry only saw a mansion in his eyes, not because the house was so fine, but because it was filled with treasures--with people who truly loved him. That what true treasure is. Its people. Not things. Be yourself. And see. See if we could honestly ever be disappointed in you. Its the only way you're going to know for sure. Its the only way I knew. I had to be myself. My angry rebellious 8 year old self to see if the Lupins were really who I wanted them to be. And what I found was that they weren't at all what I wanted them to be.

"They were more."

[ooc: *Cough* opps, some of it isn't very easy to respond to.. but my post was 1448 words long.. hope that's okay XD]

Faith listened to his words. He was being so kind, and speaking softly, and kindly. He wasn't harsh, or mean, he wasn't condescending, and he didn't sound disappointed in her, like she knew her father would have sounded. Faith couldn't help it though, her eyes darted to him when he brought up her bruises, burns and scars. Her eyes were watering, and she sat in her saddle, gently moving backwards and forwards with the movement of the horse, trying hard not to cry. He was an auror, who hurt people, but he would never hurt his family.

Faith nodded slowly. Her father wasn't evil.. he wasn't EVIL, he just.. loved in a different way. Loved in a way that most father's didn't.. or even in ways people loved others who weren't their family, or he let his friends love her in that way too, and Faith could feel her falling in on herself, her shoulders hunched, and she placed a hand on the mane of her horse, taking a deep steadying breath, she listened to Brian's words.

Khaat had been hurt too? How was that possible? Khaat was so beautiful, she shone with such radiance, there wasn't a possibility in the world that she had scars, or pain, or had ever felt pain.. she just didn't show it! How could she have.. "Would she be upset if I asked her about it?" She asked softly, her eyes darting to Brian, and then back to the trail, twitching her reins so her horse stayed on the track and followed alongside Brian's horse.

Faith listened to his story.. and was.. shocked. She didn't know how else to describe the gnawing aching feeling in her stomach. She was simply shocked that someone could do that.. just leave their sibling at a hospital with no where to go. The kindness showed to him by Khaat and her father. Faith had to make herself recall that Robert Lupin was actually the Minister of Magic.. meaning he had been saved by the Minister himself, maybe he hadn't been minister then, that was a while ago.

Faith knew exactly what it felt like to be alone, to be scared. After her father was done with her, she'd lay in her room and cry, and wonder if that's how other children felt every night before bed. Completely exhausted, the gaping hole in her chest growing wider and wider, she knew it was wrong because her father had told her not to show anyone. It was his own fear of other's seeing her bruises that she figured out that it wouldn't look good to others, and after growing up a bit, and reading on it, she realized that bruises were something you got from being hurt, and being hurt, that pain she had never really had a word for, that wasn't good for her. And it wasn't until after reading more, that she realized she was being abused by her father, in more ways then just physical.

Faith looked at Brian slowly, and found herself nodding. She was welcome here.. they were going to help her, they weren't going to turn her away when they saw her bruises, they were even offering to heal some of them for her. When he suggested she take off her makeup that covered them, she couldn't help it, she let out a soft gasp, and looked up at him. People wouldn't want to see those.. not in a million years, she often stared at herself in the mirror, every night before bed, she looked at the ugly marks on her body, and she knew no one else would want to look at that. No one else would love that.. in a way, she was forced to love herself, simply so that there was some love in her life.

"You wouldn't hate me?" She whispered, her eyes wide as she looked at him. It occurred to her then that they all already knew about her scars, about her bruises, cuts and burns. They all already had guessed, seen, and knew exactly what was going on. She had been blind to it in her own pitiful attempt to tell herself it wasn't like that. He offered to take away the scars, and she quickly shook her head. "My dad would know!" She said, sounding almost panic stricken. He would know... because he counted them, like they were his trophies, he would have her take off her clothes, and he would count her scars, mark them, sometimes even make them deeper so they were more visible to him. He loved her scars, if there was anything he loved about her, it was her scars.

Faith's face was beet red, she knew that to look at the others, and see their scars, would be like invading upon privacy, but she was about to let them see her, the real her, not the one covered in makeup that hid the pain away. She would be able to see them as they were, but then it occurred to her that she might not get the chance to see that, because she didn't know how to swim, how could she look if she was sitting on the edge of the pool, to afraid to try and get in.

Faith knew she had stumbled upon a family that could very well save her life. She knew if her father got any stronger in his abuse, he could easily kill her, on accident or not, he could do it so easily it scared her more and more each time she went home. Mostly because he got upset when she was gone, he would scream and yell that he had missed her, and he'd make new marks, just to prove that she belonged to him. It was his way of making sure she knew, the burn was there to remind her of him, the marks, they were all there so she would think of him at school. Faith's eyes were brimming with tears, when she finally looked at Brian.

"Mr. Lupin.. I'm scared..." she said softly, her voice constricted with emotion. "I'm so scared.. if I go back.. he might kill me.." She was staring at him with large eyes, her breaths coming in small sharp gasps as she tried to sit up straighter in her saddle, and failed. "I'm afraid.. because it's not just him who does it.. his friends.. he brings them over.. and he counts.. he knows all of my scars.. and if they go away, even just too much that he thinks they didn't heal right.. he'll put them on again.. sometimes he tells me he misses me.. and then he'll make more marks, because he wants me to remember him while I'm at school.." Faith was talking quickly, trying to get it all out before she lost the nerve.

"Brian, I'm afraid to go back home.. but I have too! I don't.. I don't have a choice... I'm all messed up Mr. Lupin.. I mean.. really messed up.. I don't see how... you can look at me without the makeup and not see me differently.. because it's bad... I only know it's bad because I read about it.. I read a lot sir.. and I found out that what he does to me isn't right.. isn't right at all... I don't know.. if you.. understand.." Her voice got quieter, as though she was struggling to open up about the worst thing of them all. "Sometimes he lets his friends have me.. sometimes he has me himself.. Mr. Lupin.. I'm damaged.. and I know it can't be fixed.. he's scarred me more then my skin, and I don't think getting rid of the marks will help anything else.. I'd.. I'd like it if you could look at some of them though.. if you would.. some of them hurt.." she said, her eyes watering again.

Faith had gotten so used to the pain, that she pretty much ignored it all. In fact she ignored most of the pain, even the stuff that seriously needed looked at, she bound her own wounds, looked up healing salves, everything, because no one else could look at her wounds, for they would see all the others too. "Would you sir? Would you look at them? I think one might be infected.. I made a healing salve.. but it's not working... I think I messed up on the potion.. but it gets worse.. and.. and.. before I met you guys, I was about to give in and go to the Hospital Wing.." She said quickly, her eyes darting to Khaat before she looked back at her horse and twitched her reins again. "I'd like it if you could help." she said softly.