Pain

He chuckled slightly about his life being compared to a book with the word Jungle in it. "Well judging by the title it musn't be to far off from the truth. But I had no need to ever leave my home. My parents and I lived in a cottage in the forest as a loving family and I always had everything I needed." It was the truth. He had never truly gone wanting until he lived in the Wilderness with Leah for three years after Hogwarts. Though even then he had never been uncomfortable.

He noticed that he had struck a nerve with the reaction he received from the Healer about his thoughts on Aurors. He spoke calmly as if he had had this conversations many of times as it seemed he had. "I don't like being at someone else's beck and call. We have our own agenda and we don't need to be bothered by the Ministry for any reason." His feelings were strong and he didn't expect the emotions to runaway from him, yet it had been an emotional night.

He hadn't expected to see such a stunned and curious look on Mari's face when he mentioned Jess's name. He knew now that Jess was a well known teacher at the school and the Leader of the Order of the Phoenix, but he didn't expect him to be well known throughout the world. In the few times he had spoken to him, he seemed well enough but not someone who wished to be known by many people. The thought still made him curious before he spoke, "Yes I know, the infamous it seems, Jess Potter. If you don't mind me asking, how have your paths met? I haven't heard of your name before so it must not be in the way I am thinking." He hadn't heard of her name in any of the Orders meetings so he thought it to be rather impossible to be apart of the order. His memory caught the word she had spoken when she introduced herself to him and instantly the pieces began to connect.

Silvyr seemed to miss the point of her comment though she was more then willing to make it more clear. "Well the boy in the jungle book didn't have to live there either. He was just a little child when the tiger stole him from his all loving family so he was brought up by the family of wolves. If you were a muggle you would have made a fine investigator." she commented smiling as she remembered she needed to move to the broken and mislocated ribs.

It was a short moment while she observed Silvyr that took her to decide something. "You might not want to look for the next part." she said drawing a scalpel from her inside pocket, but did not use it untill she saw if he was going to look away. Even the bravest people did not like to see their relatives and friends cut open if they weren't doing so by profession.

"Yes it's a little tricky. I had a friend who was the head of aurors, but she was under too much preasure. It is hard to work for common good because people want different things." she said not wanting to press subject if Silvyr had no wish to speak about it. She considered very hard which part of Jess was she allowed to tell, discussing about order with a stranger she just met seemed like a bad idea so she decided to tell him what she was sure was only concerning her directly. "Jess Potter would be my husband. Yes i am not as famous as him, and i thank heavens for that, if i was i would be 5 meters under earth right now. When did you meet him, he hadn't mentioned you at all?" she asked watching intently to see him stunned or comprehensive face.

Silvyr nodded in agreement with Mari, he would have made a great investigator had he been in the muggle world. "I understand but I guess my thought was that it never occurred for me to leave. My mom and my dad were loving and kind and taught me everything I could have hoped for as a child. I learned much about the muggle world. Though little of their literature, and they filled the home with warmth and magic day in and day out. Honestly I hadn't wanted to leave for Hogwarts but that's a choice that we all must make." He liked speaking with her about his parents and enjoyed having the images of them run through his head. He had forgotten how amazing they had been and the love they showed. "I was born to my mother and father in Sweden, and that is where we stayed in the forest for the beginning years of my life. I believe they are traveling right now actually. Last I heard they were somewhere in Africa enjoying themselves." He laughed at them in his head, seeing his mom trying to pick up a 'cute' lion cub without thinking it to be a problem.

Mari advised him to look away knowing it would be difficult to watch though this wasn't the first time he had seen her in bad shape. "I'd prefer to watch if you don't mind. She'd watch if it were happening to me." he said. Knowing that the statement was true. She then began her next step in her work.

Silvyr enjoyed that she decided to put the talk of Aurors to rest. He did not care for them much and it seemed she had taken the hints he undoubtedly gave through their conversation. He was shocked though when she spoke of Jess in such a tender way. Questions filled his head as she spoke of him though he remained calm on the outside not wanting to make her alarmed by his thoughts. "I met him a month or so ago now. I'm sure he would have no need to talk about me though. We work for the same business, and who really likes to bring their work home." He said. Enjoying his play on words. "I do believe I owe you an apology though, I had no idea I was digging up your past feelings in any way when I mentioned his name. I am truly so sorry." He truly regretted the fact that he had brought up such a strong issue in this strong woman's life. She showed no sadness on the outside, though he wondered what was underneath.

Talking about the jungle book was sure a strange topic to discuss with the wizzard. Mariana tried to remember how did she ever get to that idea, but her mind was blank. "Well i learned a lot about muggles, see my mother was a muggle-born so naturally her father was a muggle, my father was a pure-blood, but his family died long before i could meet them so i was living with my muggle grandfather and he told me all these stories. You have a great life, one that some would envy do not take it for granted. " Mari said remembering a bit about herself, she envied happy families aswell though she had no intention to make that clarification. "Do you ever see your parents nowdays? I wonder how would they feel if you brough a wolf as a pet at your house." she commented for herself, but it was a curious thought.

It was hard to pretend she was not too surprised about Silvyr's response though nothing about him was usual so she gave up in trying to understand him. As scalpel ripped through the thick fur and skin, her face stayed unchanged. She cleaned up the whole and took her wand to start fixing ribs. One was broken, two were dislocated so she fixed the broken one first, "I guess i never asked. What were you doing with a wolf in the center of London?" she remembered not sure how would one or two wolves not draw attention of the muggles.

Mariana looked confused at Silvyr. What was he apologising for? Did she make the wrong impression to him? Did he create a wrong picture misunderstanding her words? Questions flew in her head she did not know which one to ask first. She raised her look once more to check if he was kidding, but he seemed as serious as ever. "I am .. confused." she finally said, that worked she could not make sense of his words. "Past feelings?" she finally caught the source of the misunderstanding. "Jess and I are very happy together for your information. He is the one good thing in my life. What made you think otherwise?" she asked, disbelief present both in her voice and her expression.

Silvyr knew deep down how lucky he had been to have his parents in his life. yet sometimes he would forget until someone brought it up. He smiled at the comment knowing the thought of it was rather funny. "Well she's been by my side since I was nine and lived at home with me until Hogwarts where she stayed with me as well. They love Leah. They've actually accepted that she takes care of me as much as they do." He said remembering the many of times he stayed sane because she was by his side.

The tearing of the flesh and crunch of breaking bones squeezed at Silvyr's stomach. He almost doubled over in pain and nausea, not knowing if he'd be able to vomit with so much pain stabbing at his insides. He closed his eyes and began to sway. He felt Leah's soft fur under his hand and steadied himself before opening his eyes again. "We stroll through cities often. I tell people she's mixed with husky. It's a common dog that looks similar to wolfs." He said. The statement came out as it had the hundreds of times before to the muggles.

He heard the tone in Mari's voice and he knew he had made a mistake but he couldn't change the look of pain on his face. He gripped his stomach and tried to speak. His tone was filled with pain even though his words were kind. "I miss read you. I thought you were hinting in the fact that you knew him from your past." The pain began to be too much and he dropped. The room was spinning, he felt gravity take him, his body hit the cold tile, and his stomach felt to be gripped by an unrelenting iron fist. The room went black and suddenly he was back in the forest.

Nothing surprised Mariana anymore. There was nothing impossible in this man's life so she gave up in trying to understand him at all. "It's curious i think anyone else would bust a vein in his chin at the thought. I personally do love animals, but i can't say i don't understand some people who are scared of animals near their children. Do you understand her when you are in a wolf form? Personally i never tried to talk to a single wolf while in my wolf form though I don't spend much time doing it anyway.." she said thinking out loud again and talking hundred miles an hour.

Mariana did not see Silvyr feeling sick. Firstly, because she just relocated on of the ribs and her eyes were on the rib she was fixing and secondly because she was lost in her thoughts. She was usually perceptive, but now did not notice anything wrong with Silvyr's voice. "Well i don\t know how did you get away with that story it is obvious to me that this is not a husky, but be more careful just the same," she said with something that sounded a bit like motherly voice which surprised her a little.

One moment everything was normal, and then Silvyr fell on the floor unconcious. She did not notice anything untill she heard him crush on the wood. Finally she raised her head alarmed by the sound. Her stunned face when she saw Leah for the first time did not have anything to do with her stunned face now. She carefully removed her hand from Leah's cut and rushed over to SIlvyr. "Silvyr!" she was shaking him, but then remembered she was a witch. She lifted him on the bed right beside Leah and placed him there using her wand. "Reenervate/" she said looking anxciously at his blank face. "Silvyr Silvyr can you hear me?" she asked in the loud and clear voice though it stayed calm. She needed to make sure he was fine before she went on with fixing Leah.

Snow fell straight down towards him. He was lying in the snow, naked, staring straight up at the sky. The clouds were low and full. While the snow flakes large. He felt every flake hit his naked body. The snow flakes landed on him causing them to melt. Though before the water could drip off of his body, it would turn to steam all around him.

He tried to look around, though unable to move, while the endless cycle of steam continued around him. He could hear voices from his past speaking, Leah's feet crunching in the snow around him, screams, and crying. He couldn't understand why the people were around him or why he couldn't move. Trapped, he laid there staring at the sky and listening to the people he loved. Until their voices became nothing more than a normal flowing back ground to his state of mind.

Time didn't exist in this world. Silvyr laid in the snow for months losing thoughts, feelings, or care.

Silvyr was not waking up, that was obvious. Usually this spell never failed reviving someone who fainted, if it did it probably meant something was very wrong. This is not good, i can't go find a healer right now and leave them both here. Think think think.,, thought Mariana in a desperate attempt to arrange her thoughts and remember something that could help her. She was rarely put in this situation, only during mass battles which left so many injured people that she needed to work on more of them at once.

Her thoughts suddenly detained. She summoned a 'pick me up' potion from her office and took a deep breath. She put a few drops into Silvyr's mouth and waited anxciously. He needed to wake up, Leah would stay asleep only for an hour more and she was not nearly done relocating her ribs. "Silvyr Silvyr come on wake up Leah needs you!" she shoke him with determination though her confidence was going down. What if he did not wake up? Would she leave him there while fixing Leah or would she have to leave Leah to help him.

Darkness. He'd forgotten what the color black looked like. It had been nothing more than a vague idea lost in a past memory locked away in a small corner of his mind. He was content in his solitude. He didn't care where he was. He felt a new sensation that he had rarely felt before. Even down to the unknown fibers that wove together the inner and most precious pieces of his soul, he could feel this new feeling.

His other senses began to come to him. He could hear heavy breathing above him from what sounded like a woman. People were rushing around and speaking, yet he couldn't recognize any of their voices. Again he felt the spark of the thought in his mind that began to take over. He pushed away from the thoughts and moved on to examining the sounds the room held.

A movement of wheels, pens on parchments, foot steps on a wood floor filled the room with vibrations. Silvyr still could not tell where he was nor did the thought occur to him to open his eyes. His body began to wake from underneath him. He could feel his legs, back, arms, and head resting on a soft bed. He felt the soft touch of the sheets to his bare skin and the feeling of clothing that wrapped his body. It felt alien yet familure to the touch. He had known only nudity for the past...... his thoughts stopped.

He scanned through his mind quickly trying to understand. How long had he been in the woods, why was he steaming, where had he been? He couldn't answer any of the questions that came to his mind and his memories of the past months, or rather what felt like months, were fading quickly. Blowing away like sand on the road being swept away by a gust of wind.

Silvyr fought desperatly to hold onto them yet he had a better chance of catching the wind. Soon the woods he had been held captive in were nothing more than a shadow in the night. He opened his eyes. Light flooded them as the bright light was all that his eyes could see. He kept his eyes open and wide until his sight came back to him. He looked up at a woman standing above him. She looked scared and desperate, almost as if she cared for him. He had no memory of her though. Looked away from her to the bed beside him, he recognized Leah but she appeared to be resting. He tried to use his voice for the first time in months it seemed.

"What are you doing to my friend?" He said coldly. His voice was unfamiliar to his ears. He was angry that she had taken the liberty of touching his friend. Though at the same time he simply did not care. He would fight for his long time friend, but only because he must. If it were anyone else lying beside him, he would have not cared what so ever.

His body, mind, and feelings were consumed with this new feeling of not caring for anything. He had felt the pain of his family being tortured and Leah's pain for months on end, and now everything was a grey tone to him. He held felt all the pain he needed to. Now he knew what close ones really ment to him. A outlet for pain. A weakness that was waiting to be exploted.

The wait seemed endless, did the potion backfire? No that was not possible she used it many times before and yet Silvyr was still immobile as a stone. Patience, she needed to remember to have patience, potion took a little bit to give effect. Her mind was scanning through a lot of different possibilities each worse then the previous one. What if he was dead and she was just standing here doing nothing?

But no she could feel his pulse, a little aweakened, but it was still there. What if he fell into coma? Was there a magical way to disolve it, she knew nothing. The only choice was to stand there and wait, it stretched into eternity. It was not her favorite thing to stand around and wait, but nothing better occured to her in that moment.

Finally it was the end, end of silence end of anxiety at least for Mariana. Silvyr started to awake he was alright. She sighed in relief and watched him return to his reason. But her joy came all too much early, his eyes were empty at first like he just saw the sunlight for the first time. Then suddenly they filled with something Mariana could not understand.

Confusion, suspicion took over his senses. When he was finally able to speak, his voice sounded like he was about to attack her. Was he going to give her enough time to explain or he was going to do it before getting her opportunity to speak. She made a step back towards Leah's bed trying to understand his expression.

"Silvyr my name is Mariana Diggory and Potter do you remember that?" she asked still with a steady voice though she was starting to feel anxcious or worse scared. Silvyr did not look like he recognized her, she was well trained, but still never fought a patient before unless he was a death eater and those were rare nowdays. Her wand was steady in her hand all the same, she prefered not to risk it..