Finding Femininity

"I'll track her, Kate. You know I will," Robert said.

"Now, you listen to me, Robert Thomas Lupin," Kate pointed a finger in his face. "You leave her alone. She's damaged enough. She needs to know she can still take care of herself. And right now, Brian is going to be trying to undo that message you and Remus put into her head until she could see nothing else. She's left everyone who could have been helpful to her because she thinks that she needs to spare them from being with her! She thinks that she's too dangerous for anyone to be able to be with her without being damaged or killed. She's left them all to protect them. You know that as well as I do. Its what you trained her to do. Always throw yourself under the bus for someone else, right? Well, that's nonsense. Khaat knew that the day Remus was murdered. And now she's going right back to it because she doesnt know what else to do."

"It was that very training that got her through dealing with Barker and you know it," Robert frowned at her, not backing down either. "We taught her how to survive."

"You forgot a lesson! You did not teach her how to live with anyone who loved her in her life! You taught her to throw them all away if she had to. Living alone? Is that what you want for her? Really? Well, Brian's a smart boy. He's going to prove to her that she doesn't need to lose it all. You leave them alone right now, Robert. If you're needed, I will let you know."

Meanwhile, Brian had portkeyed to the hotel. He had gone in, registered as Khaat's husband who was joining her, paid the difference in the bill, and gotten a key. He had gone upstairs and knocked once, and then used the key to get in. He had not wanted to startle her. He went in, closed the door and put his bag on the floor. He found her sitting alone, curled up on the sofa, with a Waterford crystal glass in her hand, with muggle whiskey in the glass. His heart went out to her. She looked cold and alone. He opened his bag and got out the oversized warm, red cashmere shawl that he had brought for her. He returned it to its original large size and had taken it to her.

"Here," he said. "You look cold." He wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Why did you come?" she asked honestly, looking up into his face, truly seeking answers, She curled the shawl around her and took a sip of the whiskey glass.

"Khaat," he said sitting beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "I am not afraid to be with you. Nothing bad has ever happened to me because I was with you. Not ever. In fact, because of you, I have everything I could ever want for the rest of my life and everything our children and grandchildren could ever want. I am not afraid to be here."

"No matter what we unleash?" she asked, knowing he'd come to meet her demons headon with her.

"I have you. The demons are nothing. We've faced them before. They're ugly--that's all. Nothing more. They have no power over us whatsoever. Are you willing to trust me?"

"To do what?" she frowned. "Its all me..."

"I want you to trust me to take care of you. Whatever you need. I want you to trust that I will provide anything you need. Look, Herrods is just almost right across the street. We can go over there and buy whatever groceries we need for the room. Might be good for us to get out. We can send for room service for everything else."

"Herrods does not have firewhiskey," she said. preferring firewhiskey to muggle whiskey.

"No, they don't, " Brian admitted, "But I do." He motioned the bag over and put it in the coffee table. He summoned a bottle of firewhiskey out of the bag. The expensive top shelf brand Khaat loved. "Let me fix that for you." He took her glass, dumped the muggle whiskey down the sink, grabbed a second glass and poured them both a glass of firewhiskey. He paused, and then he kissed her slowly and passionately. He could feel her deep love for him and her desperation to be loved--truly loved. "Khaat," he whispered, his face close to hers. "I love you. I'm not leaving because you're hurt and in pain. No sooner than you would leave me. I want you to hear me--really hear me. Nothing anyone does to hurt you is ever going to drive me away or make me love you less. Khaat, I'm only going to love you more, like I do every day of my life. I am still here because I want to be, because you're the only woman I want to be with. "

"How can you possible want me now?" she stared at her glass, her tears instantly falling. He wrapped her tightly in his arms, drawing her close into his chest. He unbuttoned her shirt and found the bruises that Burke had left there. "Khaat, these will fade," he said softly, touching them lightly with his fingertips. "But my love for you? That won't ever fade away. That only gets stronger every single moment I breathe. You share my house, you share my bed, you share my heart. You always share with me everything you have. You simply share this with me too, and we'll walk it out. Just the two of us. Together we can do anything."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I'm still here, arent'I? Yes. I believe that. You want to protect everyone from knowing how deep that pain goes. I'm asking you to just simply trust me and let me be here with you. You've never kept one single secret from me. Lets not start now. Don't tell me you didn't purposely take this hotel so you could go to Herrods like you started out to do that day. Thats the whole reason you chose this one. You want to prove you can go do that without incident, don't you?"

"Yes," she admitted softly. "Is that a bad thing that I want do to that?"

"No. Not at all. So, lets go together." He flicked his wand at the bag, and everything that he had packed floated out of the bag, resized and put itself away in the closets and drawers. Lastly, the bag put itself in the closet as well. "So. Shall we go? I'll go with you."

"You're serious."

"I am. Let's go."

"Um...Okay," she agreed, finishing her firewhiskey quickly. She began to think of what to wear.

"You're fine just as you are. I always did love you in the jeans and white shirt and diamonds. And the red shawl is a very elegant touch. Just wear what you have on."

"Add a glamour spell for me? Please? Hide the bruises?"

"With pleasure," he smiled. He flicked his wand to put the glamour spell in place for her. He stood and reached his hand to her. She paused a moment, reluctant. Then she took his hand and got up.

"Alright. For now--I trust you."

"Good enough," he smiled. He kissed her. He picked up his jacket and took her hand strongly in his, and they left the hotel and walked across the street over to Herrods together.

ooc: 1222 words. yay!

((ooc; nice Khaat))

steven say quiet as Kate went at Robert he wanted to calm things down but chose to let her have ehr say feeling she was right at letting khaat have her time alone with brian he knew how that was as he felt the same with Deliah he was glad of some time with her, now that she was showing he wanted to make sure she was not over doing it , he knew she liked things clean and liked playing with dylan his mother had said she would call that helped him relax knowing she would be there to watch over her some and take some of the worry about Dyla n especialy with Clay working for the ministy.

Khaat was totally amazed by Brian's devotion. He went with her to Harrods, and they started with just walking through the store. Khaat bought Brian a beautiful dark cherry handcarved walking stick to help him get past the painful limp he still had in his knee. She knew it wouldn't last much longer, but as long as he still had pain, the stick would help. He was obviously more comfortable using it than going without it, and he had brought hers to her. Khaat was a bit uncomfortable with both of them limping, but it didnt' seem to bother Brian a bit.

Brian loved shopping for things for the girls at Harrods, and buying more things for Khaat. Khaat was more interested in buying things for Brian, so he finally diverted her to the grocery section of Harrods, and they bought more than enough of all kinds of foods and wines and drinks and snacks that they really would not need to come out of their suite for a very long time.

Being able to make a pleasant and successful trip to Harrods did lift her spirits. Khaat was surprised at how much she enjoyed having Brian around for his company, first of all, and second of all, she was surprised at how much it restored for her of her confidence that she could go and shop there as long as she liked without something negative happen.

When they were done, he sent to the hotel for the consigiere and had their things delivered to the hotel and placed in their room for them. While that was being done, he took Khaat to a French patisserie for lunch. They had more of a formal tea, with delicate little sandwiches and elegant French pastries in a very calm and peaceful French setting. Khaat felt herself starting to relax in Brian's hands. And it confused her.

After lunch, they walked back to the hotel in an utter downpour. The clouds had just opened, and they walked back slowly, smelling the fresh spring rain, getting soaked to the skin. They took their time, savoring every step of freedom. The hotel staff seemed to be at a bit of a panic at seeing their new premier guests soaked like drowned rats when Khaat and Brian finally did return to the small, elite hotel, but Brian just smiled and kissed Khaat deeply and romantically in front of the staff and told them proudly that he and his wife were having an utterly perfect day. He ordered a pot of tea to warm up with, and took Khaat upstairs so they find dry clothes.

steven watched jess and jack as they rallied around playing with the girls and leavinjg him free to meand the fence that ahd come down . He knew it was a two day job moving out side he headed to the back paddock and began removing the old wood then the broken posts.


Jess played with dakota and Abbey rolong aball betwen them and playing peek a boo " ok I think its snack time " she said and looked at Angus then Kate hoping she had not mede a wrong asumption but she knew the look the girls had her own two had the saem one when they were hungry " maybe its dinner time ?" she asked.

"Probably," Kate said. "Go ahead and feed them if they're hungry. Its fine with me." Kate looked at Robert, and scowled at him. "Stop it. You're about ready to start pacing. She's fine. You need to give me just a bit of credit here that I can deal with my own child. Just because you can't eyeball her doesn't mean she isn't alright."

"I know," Robert sighed.

"And Brian is with her. If you didn't trust his skills, you wouldn't have hired him to the post he has."

"I know that too," he said.

"She's a strong woman, Robert. She was trained that way. She'll be alright. Its only been a couple of days, for goodness sakes. Give the girl some time. Nobody gets over that overnight. She's entitled to feel upset and overwhelmed. Angus, can I help you in the kitchen with dinner?"

"I'm good, Kate," Angus said. He actually preferred for Kate to keep Robert from getting to antsy in the process of waiting on some news from Brian. Angus didn't expect it. He expected Brian to seclude himself with her until they had worked it through. He didn't expect to hear anything at all.

Steven hammered the final post in place he wiped the sweat from his browna dn headed back inside for a cold drink , heading for the kitchen he fund lemonade and pored a long cold glass and downed it " wow thats good " he said and placed the glass in the sink walking out he watched Kate and Robert and sighed heading abck out to finish the fence .


Jess sat watching and sighed and stood up moving she brought out two bowls of fruit she placed on infront of each child and showed them how to eat it which they did she watched carefully as they ate holding two bottles of juice for them to drink each time she saw them stop.

Angus occupied himself by working in the kitchen, working on fixing dinner. He had decided to roast a whole pork tenderloin with a fresh herb rub, and to put a wild rice pilaf with it, and glazed carrots and onions. For dessert, he was fixing a Mexican Tres Leche cake. He had started his menu plans when he had found the outstandingly good pork tenderloin at the market. He was debating on making a large tossed salad, but he wasn't sure he was going to have time to do it, unless he violated Khaat's rule about "no conjured foods" and used a spell to let the salad make itself.

He was considering making some Mexican coffee to go with the Tres Leche cake for dessert, but if he did all that, they were going to have to have some patience with him because some of what he wanted to do was a bit labor intensive and time intensive. But with Khaat and Brian gone, he did appreciate the help with the babies and with the estate, and he wanted to treat them well with an exceptional meal. Besides that, it gave him a good excuse to stay out of the way of Kate and Robert until they came to terms with things.

Cassidy aperated not her best right into a small coffee table that sat in the middle of the room, her mind spun a dozen quesions aminet as she stood up and sat down on the couch she wanted to hit something but she noticed a graze from where she hit the table . standing she moved to the kitchen pausing as he saw Angus , part of her didn't want him to see her with puffy eyes fromher crying she moved to the sink washing off the graze then placed a cloth over it her chest hurt as she fought to hold back her tears she felt foolish to fall for a guy she met in an alley but to her he semed nice till that day she followed him and over heard him tell every one she was ugly and no good trash.

Angus did notice Cassidy's return, and something had not gone well. He didn't like to press into anyone's private life. "Allow me," he said gently. He waved his wand at the tiny graze, "Episkey!" "So, you're welcome to talk about it if you want, or you're welcome to keep it to yourself if you want. I don't want to pry. So you know, Khaat and Brian are not here. Might be gone a couple of days. I'm just trying to keep the house going until they get back." He opened the over and poured a healthy amount of white wine over the porke tenderloin to add moisture to it. He put it back in the oven.

From there, he returned to his work on the cake, pouring the batter into the cake pans. He was, when things were chaotic, usually very calm. He didn't know what Cassidy expected of him, but getting upset because someone else was upset was just not something he did. It didnt' mean he didn't care, but he just didn't get rattled very easily.

her heart dropped when he said they were gone for a few days and she sat down her head resting in her arms on the table" he never cared about me, this guy i met, I thought he cared about me but he didn't , he said i was ugle and cheap trash" she " I moved in with him thinking he was the one , he made me look and feel like a fool , Im scared to go back to the aprtment all my things are there i have what im standing up in" she said " I don' know why im telling you for " she said and stood up " the coffee table in the frot room need fixing ill get to it since i broke it " she satrted to move out of the kitchen.