Finding Femininity

"If we're going into muggle London, I'd rather you took it now, please," Kate said. "I don't want you making muggles think their one of their greatest fairy tales about a werewolve getting loose in London has come true. That could be a bad thing. Jack, I've just found something else. Something in one of the conversations that happened just before Khaat left. I think we need to start by going back to where Khaat was hurt. Back to that alley. That seems to be where she thinks her life fell apart. I say we go there to start." She went to her desk and wrote a quick note and summoned an owl. She gave it to the owl.

"I'm updating Robert. Perhaps he has some ideas as well," she said.

jack nodded and downed his potion he sighed feeling it take hold " good choice kate " hes aid meaning both the alley and his taking his potion . he watched her with the note to Robert and nodded now feeling like his self again " i raly should ask Robert for a refill this has been my only botle gfor a month now" he said softly " though i think jefery did something because I didn't need it when i was there with jess" he said and smiled thinking of her.

"There's no cure for lycanthropy, Jack," Kate said. "I have no idea how you managed to get by without it, but during the week of the full moon, Remus had no choice but to take the potion. And I don't know of any other werewolf who doesn't have to take it unless they want to transform. And there are a few oddballs that do choose to transform.

"Alright. Then lets go to the alley," Kate said. She got a purse out of her closet. It carried muggle money and muggle identification for her in it. she didn't have to use it very often. "When in Rome,..." she shrugged. "Might as well look the part, I guess." She put her wand in the bag.

She apparated into the alley and was pleased to find it deserted. It was a dismal place. She hated to think of the terrible attack that happened here. She looked for any sign of Khaat, and didn't find a one. Not one. She couldn't imagine why Khaat might want to come back here when, really, she was safer in her own world. "God, what a terrible place, Jack," she said softly. She looked ahead and saw the intersection that led to Herrods. She could see why Khaat might have originally chosen it, but now there seemed to be no point. She didn't believe for one moment that Khaat was shopping.

"She's running, Jack. I can feel it. She's trying to run from all of us." She stood for a long moment, thinking. "You know, if she's running, she's also hiding. And if you were running and hiding, you wouldn't want to be noticed. But her injuries won't let her go very far. What if...what if she checked into some muggle hotel? What if she decided she just wanted to get away from everything for awhile? Now that, to me, sounds a lot more like the Khaat I know. What do you think?"

jack nodded " I know this is alife sentance i must have been so focused on jess but i know and I take it since that day in his offece when I nerly.." he paused not wanting to tell her he had nearly fully transphormed and would have killed him if he ahd come to it full tranphormation but thankd to Robert he ahd not . Now he moved with kate where ever she went he followed picking up the smells around them and nodding that he could smell her fear " she went west I think it could easily be drift from the wind " he said softly

Kate walked out of the alley, doing her best to focus on Khaat. When she looked to the east, she could detect nothing. When she looked to the west, all she could feel was shame, guilt, and intense emotional pain. "You're right," Kate said softly. "She went west. Let's go. She can't be all that far. The feelings are too strong."

They walked down the street several blocks, and to Kate, the feeling began to fade away. "We've missed it," she said. "We're past it now. We have to go back." She turned around abruptly and walked back the same way she had come, slower now.

Eventually she paused in front of a small, exclusive little hotel. It looked very upscale. "As many times as I've been on this street, and I never paid any attention to this place," Kate sighed. "The feeling is the strongest here. You don't suppose she's here, do you?"

jack folowed her sniffing he caught it strong at the hotel too and stood " yes i do, its strong her scent in here " he said and pointed up to aroom above them " she's here " he said forcing his eyes to be normal again he'd used his wear side to track her now he felt he didn't need it .

Kate went inside and knew immediately that Khaat was inside. "Let's go upstairs," Kate said softly. "I think we can find her ourselves." She went upstairs to the top floor and walked slowly down the hallway. Khaat's essence became almost overwhelming for her.

"Jack," she said very softly, stopping in the hallway. "I can feel so much suffering from her. She doesn't mean to scare us. She's just really hurting. She just...can't contain it all. Its all...been too much. I know her. If it had been just a crisis or two, she'd have weathered it out, but she's reaching her limit. She just wants some time. Are we doing the right thing by being here? Maybe we should just give her the time she wants." Kate hated to see her only child suffer, but as Kate saw into her daughter's heart, she wasn't sure that tracking her here had been fair to her.

"What do we do?" she looked at Jack.

jack looked at her as she walked up stairs to the very top as she began taking he picked up khaats scent and sighed " go and talk to her kate we need to know she is ok and she can cope " he said and touched her shoulder gently . his mind thought back to jess as he " i guess shes trying to make sence of it all we need to help her under stand we all still love her and want her home" he said moving down the corridor till he found the room where her sc ent was realy strong " here this room" he said.

"Oh maybe you're right," Kate said. She knocked lightly on the door. There was a long pause, and then the door opened just slightly. Khaat peeked out very slightly. When she saw her mother and Jack there, she sighed heavily. She stepped back and opened the door.

"How on earth did you find me so fast?" she sighed heavily, motioning them to come in. She had gotten one off the hotel's premier suites. It was quiet and peaceful and very elegant. "Would you like to sit down?"

"We'd like some answers," her mother said, closing the door and crossing the room. "Talk to us, Khaat. What happened to make you run?"

Khaat went to the fridge and opened it and got out three muggle sodas. "Here. Try them. They're something I don't remember ever having before. Its an American brand of something called a Creme soda. Vanilla. Very good, especially when its icy cold."

"Thank you, Dear," Kate said softly. She took the soda and took a sip. She frowned and looked at the label. "That really is good. We'll have to buy some. I'll have your father look into it. Now,come sit. You're not in trouble. Let's just talk."

"I don't want to go back."

"Did we say you had to? Just tell us what happened."

"Its none of you. Honest. Its me. I have to work this out. I...I'm not who Remus ever raised me to be. I'm about as far away from what he envisioned for me as I can get...."

"Darling," Kate took Khaat's hand. "All Remus ever invisioned for you was for you to live your life the way you wanted it. He loved you. He loved you from the moment he knew I was pregnant--before you ever got here. He was crazy about you. He loved everything about you before you took your first breath. This would not have done anything to change that. Do you truly think, that if he were still here, he would have let you come here and not followed you exactly like we did? Actually, he'd have just apparated inside. He wouldn't have knocked. You know that."

"I am such a disappointment now," Khaat said very softly, staring at her own soda. Kate sighed, leaned over and kissed Khaat's hair lovingly.

jack walked with kate into the room and shook his head at the offer he never liked the cream soada it always left a bitter after taste he asumbed because the that it clashed with his potion he took. siting down he sighed hearing her knowing it was not true " khaat thats so not true nobody thinks that but you we all love you and are worried about you " he said looking at her.