What Do You Buy the Wizard Who Has Everything?

"Hm..a frame up. Well, that sounds very interesting. You can't do it unless I can be hidden someplace and watch. No, wait. Forget that. I'd end up feeling sorry for one or the other of them and ruin your whole plan. I think I ought to stay out of that. As far as using Rob for art for your door? he has a lot of very small parts that might be more than sufficient to work for your art. You'd have a whole variety to pick from.

"And, well, I"m sure you would probably see my father as being old. He's older than you, but I guess I don't see him as overly old. I still think you'd get along. And, yes, if we can get rid of Rob out of my life, I would marry you--except if you're determined on Cambodia. They eat all sorts of things that we think are fish bait. I'm not sure i can do that."

She looked at her stack of books and set the two new biographies on Nicolas Flamel and set them onto her stack of books that she intended to purchse. Those were "musts" for Robert.

"So what do you like to read, when you'r enot seraching for textbooks?" she asked him.

''You know, I do my best performances in front of a live audience'', he said, smiling. ''Oh, now you're just tickling our imagination'', he said, smiling mischievously at her small body parts comment.

''I think I know your father, personally even... but not that good, met him once, formally... he wouldn't remember me probably... although, he might remember the cane... Wait, you sure your father isn't Franklin Delano Roosevelt?'', he replied. ''Oh... but Cambodia is soooooo radical, dude... like, all those big planes, and war and that stuff... and the poor, man... that is just sick... I always wanted to visit such places, dude'', he said with a mocking surfer accent. Although, was Cambodia really that bad? ''If not Cambodia... then Africa? I think those Toto guys said it was raining down in Africa... or was that ABBA?'', he wondered.

''What I like to read? Not rubbish, and all of this is mostly rubbish... especially these textbooks... only a few were acceptable, one of them being Snape's redone version of his textbook... yes, I have it... stole it from the Room a long time ago... and no, you cannot have my precious'', he said, mockingly again. ''I like to read Muggle books... they can be fun... our books are just to... surreal, don't you think? And you... you do like those crappy teen books, do you?'', he asked.

"Well, if you met my father some time ago, then I will really have to reintroduce you. My father has an impeccable memory. I am quite sure he would like you and would remember you. Especially if you were a friend of Remus's. Besides, perhaps it is time for a whole Potionsmaster uprising or something.

Actually, as I hear it, you have bought the old Slugs and Jiggers. I do hope I can bribe you somehow to set my husband's illegal potions empire on its ass. I was hoping that if I ever met you that I might somehow talk you into charging cheaper prices for legal potions than what Rob makes on his illegal ones so that he finds he might actually have to work like any other human being over the age of majority. He has ruined far too many lives and killed too many with his poor quality illegal clones of the legal thing. Of course, I do realize it is entirely up to you if you choose to make your own illegal products, but do please, as a potionsmaker who has a reputation of infallible work, do your best to churn out superior quality illegals--if you choose to do that at all. It would mean a lot of me if you could shut him down. You'll find Rob's brain is sometimes one of his smallest body parts.

"And, honestly, having a conversation with a man who is able to make more than one brain cell spark at a time is quite refreshing indeed. I could get to like this a great deal," she smiled. "Oh and you were correct. The song is Africa, by Toto, and I believe it was 1982. We could do Africa. But perhaps some coastal region? I really find beaches so romantic. If I"m going to marry you, I'd like to have it at least look deceptively romantic for a day or two.

Khaat laughed out loud at his humor about Snape's book and his accuracy about most textbooks. "You mean my father and I are not the only ones who like Muggle books? You are a man of good taste then. I don't like teen books, generally. I prefer the classic muggle books. You may laugh at me but my favorite muggle author is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. And I like several of the muggle poets. I like Frost, Dickenson, e.e. cummings, Poe, and some of the rest of that ilk. I like Plath, but she can be dreadfully depressing.

"Ok, so you have me curious now. What about music tastes? I like pretty much everything except muggle 'heavy metal'. Sounds like two cats squabbling in a trashbin to me. I like what the muggles call 'oldies.' I also have some rather odd tastes as well. I love British skiffle music. I love Lonnie Donnegan and Long John Baldry and some of those fellows. I love old blues and jazz like Billie Holiday, Louis Armstrong, Nat King Cole, and some of those. I like almost all the Motown greats, most of what the Americans call members of the "British Invasion,"...big band, swing, some country music...just about everything. So tell me, what sort of music does Professor Doyle like? You seem to be about as unconventional as they come, so, well, I think if you were the true definition of an atypical professor, you would like jazz or blues. Am I even half right?"

''Well... it will be tough, though... with the cane and all, but I am sure there will be some slav... I mean associates willing to walk for me'', he said. ''How did that get out in the world? It was supposed to be incognito... but yes, I owe the shack now, although I shan't be running it... had a boy, Wilson's boy, Poe... a witty kid, but too stiff and polite, run it for me while I am at the school... can't be at two places simultaneously... wait... I can... yes, I do not want to be at two places simultaneously. My... illegal stuff is not for sale, at least not in the store... wouldn't it be somewhat idiotic of me to sell my Potions if they are at least five classes better than the junk I have in the sore or I had to deal with while working in the Hospital. My Potions have the same effects as the ones you can buy legally, but they are way more efficient... the majority at least, some of them are used for untraceable murders... but no, wait, I mean for making gummy bears... you know what I mean...'', he explained. ''Your husband seems to be an idiot... I can blow his store up, if you want... I just made a very efficient explosive Potion... dubbed it 'Jessica Alba'... it blows you up... but... I guess I could tell the boy to increase the quantity and decrease the price... if he isn't able to make that junk in the store, he does not deserve to work there... but he should be able to do it... so I guess we have a deal... that is how you call it, right?'', he said.

''Doyle was forgetful... good, but forgetful... I like him. There's also Agatha... I still remember when she died... wasn't pleasant, trust me. Personally prefer Continental literature... French, German... Soviet... now wait, they broke up... Russian, right? You can never know with them... British and American... depends on the author, like Spanish and Italian'', he explained. ''Music? You're right at one point... Jazz... Armstrong, Gershwin and Joplin, but I also like classical music... you ever tried rocking to Mozart or Stravinsky... and also rock, pop-rock, alternative rock...'', he replied.

''I knew it was someone... but, I had the tropical rain forests in mind... nothing like getting eaten by primitive cannibals, being beaten by some crazy unidentified monkeys and facing the most dangerous reptiles alive... and how is that not romantic?'', he said with a smile. ''His brain? Oh you... you... you're just mean'', he said with another toothy smile.

"Oh, come now, Professor," she laughed. "I am the Chief Warlock. Do you think much escapes my desk? Really? Trust me, your secret investment is relatively safe with me. There aren't that many others who apparently know yet. As for Poe, I like the lad. I had him in class briefly when I finished a term of Charms class. Bright boy. He should do well. But he always struck me as being strikingly ethical. You might find he needs a bit of perversion for your purposes. Call it, perhaps, giving him a sense of humor about the whole business of potions. And, yes, I think we have a deal. Its some little underground lab in Knockturn Alley in the catacombs . Would not be the first time it has been blown up, by the way. It's been blown to bits once, that I know of, fairly recently, and, oh yes, it was torn apart one time earlier--all in the last year. You'd think he'd learn.

"Oh, and now you've spoiled the surprise. I had so intended to take you to the London symphony to their next concerto. As I recall, it is, I think, Mahler. I like Mahler. He's one of my favorites. But some of his work can be a bit pessimistic. I had, mistakenly, taken you for a man who prefers a smoky little jazz club rather than a symphonic hall and all that pomp and circumstance. And here I thought our first date would find me wearing jeans perhaps sipping scotch over some scat singer or a trumpet player. I thought I might dust off my evening dress for our second date. We should have at least two dates before we run off to slice our way through the rainforest, don't you think?. I'll have to ask my father whether he still has his machete. Then I suppose we do need to decide whether I should divorce Rob, or whether you're going to off him, or whether we shall live in utter bigomy or some sort of sin," she laughed. "However, I do have one prerequisite. You must be able to drink real coffee. I could not possibly have any sort of twosome, threesome, or othersome, with a man who does not understand really good coffee. I would hate to find out you're some sort of teatotaler just when I'm getting to like you."

''Knockturn? I tried to blow the whole bloody Alley up, once... but somehow, the authorities stopped me... some nonsense about it being illegal and fatal... never understood them, to be frank. I could blow the pipeline, though... but.... I shall try to be imaginative... I also have 'Jessica Simpson'....'', he said, thoughtfully.

''Mahler? Too depressive... never liked him that much... to titanic, yet also too depressive... although, his variation of Brother Jacques is quite intriguing... somehow prefer Mozart, Beethoven and the modern ones, like Stravinsky, Shostkovich and Prokofiev... I was never fond of Romanticism, with some exceptions, but it was just too determined in some way. But, I do like smaller places, although, once you sit inside the Philharmonic, that big space just manages to conceal you... no one seems to care who you are and what you are doing there'', he explained.

''Well... actually, I had the rainforest in mind... I have to see if you can survive, what would I do if you cannot survive the attack of a big, two meter tall cannibal? I mean... what would I do with you, lead a life?'', he said, ironically. ''But... Miss Walters had just invited me for tea... just this morning, I'd hate to refuse such a polite invitation'', he replied, mockingly. ''I limp, does I look like a teacup to you?'', he asked.

"It would not bother me in the least if you took out the whole alley. I think I could arrange to look the other way. And since my father, while he is the head of law enforcement, has no love of Knockturn either, I believe I can sufficiently persuade him to look the other way very, very easily. However, I would much prefer you use some version of 'Brad Pitt' or 'James Bond'. Much more sexy, in my opinion. "Jessica Simpson' does very little for me.

"Stravinsky. That works. I like the others as well, but I like Stravinsky better out of that short list. And as for whether I can survive, you forget. I'm a Lupin. I positively can survive. Remus made sure I knew how to do that well before I enrolled at Hogwarts. My question is could you keep up with me? And no, I am not referring in any manner to your limp. You're a wizard--and a good one. A limp is hardly a hazard for you. I mean, how much of a hard core survivor are you? Can you hold your own, or will I be transfiguring that cannibal into a cheeky hat to rescue you?

"But you asked a very good question. What exactly would you do with me? A strongwilled, independent, and practical female? Hm...That might have some drawbacks for you, I would think. I do have one allergy at the moment that you should be aware of, howver. I am highly allergic to commitment. So, I would have to be with you strictly out of sheer mutual, unattached interest," she laughed.

"Oh, and no, you don't look like the teacup type. You look like the coffee in a practical paper cup type to me. I don't see you doing tea if you were held at gunpoint. I rather fancy you telling them you'd still not do the tea even then. I'm not sure there is a lot that moves Professor Doyle to do anything he does not want to do. Not ever. "

(Yes, I am sorry... just haven't had the time to reply and to my chores... you see that I have only just stared the classes... sorry, once again)
''Well... wait... Head of Law Enforcement? McCoy was also Head of Law Enforcement, not a long time ago... look at me, I am a very powerful person now.... buhuhuhuuahahahaha... but, let us forget that? Oh come on... that is so stereotypical... you do have to have a favorite amongst my potions... how can we have a threesome if you don't?'', he wondered.

''Stravinsky it is then... you know... I can make myself look like him! You are a Lupin? How long have you known that information? Well... could you make a cane out of him... really don't know what I would do with another cheeky hat... I only invite people to manifestations I can survive... that is why I do not invite people over to tea'', he replied. ''Isn't a threesome the definition of that?'', he asked, wondering.

''Well... you know... I do tend to drink a bit of juice or water from time to time... it does the body well... don't you think? At gunpoint... hmmm... I would use the cane... and yes, I am referring to this wooden one... this time. The thing is that there is almost nothing that could force me into doing something I don't...'', he explained.

OOC: Not a problem at all. I hope your trip was wonderful, BTW! And, best wishes in Doyle's new position!!

"McCoy was Head of Law Enforcement? Hm...that must have been before I moved back to the area. I..sort of moved out of the area for a few years after I graduated Hogwarts...after Remus died," She avoided why she had moved away. The subject of Remus's death was painful for her still at times. Sometimes felt raw. But it had been the real reason she had hid herself away in the suite of rooms Remus had had on her parents' farm near a sleepy fishing village in the Cornwall district. It had been her father who had finally persuaded her to come out of hiding, and then she had dragged him back to work at St. Mungos. So far, it seemed to have all worked well. She had her job at St. Mungos, the ministry thing, and, oh yes, there was Sparks. She did enjoy investing in that.
And her father had St. Mungos and his new ministry job. "I must admit, I do not know McCoy well. I know his protege Wilson just a bit better, but not by leaps and bounds.

"So you feel it has to be 'Jessica Simpson', do you? Well, could we make it a foursome, then, and maybe bring, oh, I don't know, George Clooney or someone along? Unless that just isn't adventurous enough for you. You can transfigure into a likeness of Stravinsky? Oh, you must show me. He's rather antiquated looking though. Can you 'morph' into someone more contemporary? Although, I must say, I do rather like you as you are.

"So you don't invite people over for tea? Hm. Somehow that does not surprise me. I have invited people over from time to time, although my style for serving tea defies all the etiquette of true British high tea. I don't like all those fru-fru little fixings. The doilies, the Royal Dalton, the petit-fours...bah. Doesn't interest me a particle. If I am going to serve tea, it's going to be in a large, heavy handthrown, stoneware mug---very practical. And I'm more likely to serve you something truly a bit more aphrodisiac, like the new Chocolate Orange cheesecake that my bistro offers, or some chocolate dipped strawberries. However, I'm also far more likely to serve a truly good cup of coffee. I am rather addicted to French Roast. We will have to take a healthy supply of that to the rainforest or I'm afraid I"m not going.

"So tell me, what sort of food do you fancy? If I am going to be forward enough to ask you to dinner, I do need to know whether you are a beef bourguignon sort of fellow or whether I'm more likely to find you tucking in over fish and chips? Personally, I like either. And, yes, I can cook. None of that conjured rot, though. I much prefer doing it by hand. The flavor is much more authentic, I find. I think dinner and Stravinsky sounds perfectly wonderful. And, no, I'm not bringing 'Jessica Simpson' to the symphony. I would much prefer your company than to share you at least until later in the evening," she grinned. "Besides, I thought perhaps we might be adventurous and take my muggle car. I have a little red sportscar stored at my father's place. And it only seats two. Unless we can stuff our third in the trunk. When one lives near a muggle fishing village, one must at least attempt to keep up appearances. So, I have a muggle ID and driver's license, as well as my car. I haven't driven it much since returning to the wizarding world, but I do still enjoy racing it up and down the back country roads. Believe it or not, sometimes I can misbehave."

''McCoy is a lovely tyke... nice, even too nice if you ask me... but with the best sense of righteousness that I have seen in my life. Wilson... Wilson is the master of deception and disguise... I dare say he learned a lot from me, but still... in that field, he managed to overachieve... very intelligent, but a little... too formal, so to say'', he commented.

''I don't like to share... with others at least, but I do like to share other's things... especially if they did not allow me to do so. Now, as for Stravinsky... that is a little trick I like to perform, but more on that later...'', he replied.

''To be frank, I rarely attend tea invitations, never send them, rarely attend them. Too.... sociable for my taste... but I like big crowded halls... there's so many people that it seems that you aren't even there, especially if you're new. I like biscuits... think of it as joke... or don't?'', he added.

''I fancy eatable food... except pasta... I don't like pasta. Such a horrible taste... and if it is spicy... it's even worse, since I do not like spicy food or any kind of spices. Fish, meat... some soups... that is practically it. As long as it is plain, without any additions, and eatable... I shan't complain'', he explained.