Spring Flowers

steven turned to face her he frowned slightly to her "yes maam, i undestand, but there are certain thing a man needs, that I have had for 12 years, its difficult to get over not having" he said his hands clentching as he spoke the ring siting in the palm of his hand he could feel the cold of it against his skin as he stood "its like haveing your right arm cut off but yet you feel its still there , I see her every where a voice a sound sometimes a person might just look like her as they walk down the street and i find myself correcting my thoughts, tell me how do i forget that" he looked at her "You can't, becuse I can't" he said moving to pick up John "my kids are my life and so was janet nobody will replace her nor the fact I let her down"

"Then do as you like," Katherine said quietly, suppressing a sudden urge to be angry with him, "Soak in whatever of her you think you need. Do as much of it as you think you need for as long as you like. By all means. Excuse me. I have things I need to do." She dismissed herself to the kitchen. She had the mess from the pizza and the cookies to clean up. And she wanted to make sure that Khaat had a decent dinner. She wanted to make sure she had put together something for her daughter that she knew she would eat.

steven sighed as he listened to her talk then watched as she left for the kitchen, deep inside he knew she wqas right but he could not rid himself of the pain of her loss it sat in his chest like a caner eating at his very soul as each day went past , if he was working he would not have to notice it. He looked at Khaat then to John asleep on the couch. closing his eyes he rubbed the bridge or his nose as he sighed he could feel his head hurting just from fighting the thoughts he had.

Khaat watched her father walk out of the room to follow her mother to the kitchen. Khaat didn't know why Walker was sinking into depression now after all this time, but he was choosing to stay stuck in it. Cleary he wanted to be in it right now. That's why her parents had chosen to walk out of the room and stop talking to him. He didn't wan help. It was offered and he had rebuffed it. Khaat just let him sit with his son, hoping that just sitting with John would remind him of what was important. She knew how she would be if anything happened to Rob, but then again, she didn't have Abbey yet, did she? That would leave her completely alone again. And that was different. Her teens were never home anymore. Without Rob and Abbey, she was alone. IF she were his position, with his son, she'd have been grateful to have that left and would have used that to move forward. She said nothing. She sipped on her now cold tea. She flicked her fingers at it to reheat it.

steven finally decided he'd had enouph, standing he walked over to Khaat "Khaat will ya take something for me, it would help me a lot if ya would" he said looking down at her, he had decided as much as he did love janet he had to put it behind him once and for all he could not go back and she was gone and that was final , his head hurt as did his hert but he had no choice he could not stay as he was not if he was to look after andrew and john he ahd to make his brake now of it would be never.

"If I can. What is it?" she asked. If it helped him get unstuck, she would certainly try. She had no idea what he was thinking now. She looked at him with curiosity. "You know I'll do what I can to help."

steven looked at her when she said she would help anyway she could taking her hand in his he turned it palm up as he placed his wedding ring into her hand the last simbol he had that he had been in love with janet, other than john. he looked at her and again sighed. "time to move on" he said softly as he closed her fingers around the ring. he turned from her and walked to the back door standing for a moment he felt as if with the rain fresh ground and the flowers in bloom just as they were starting a new, so now was he and it was a perminat thing , he was singel and a father of two, he lent on the door frame as he looked out over the garden "flowers look nice" he spoke softly but no longer sad.

Khaat took the ring from his hand and watched him move through the house to the kitchen. Katherine and Robert watched him come into the kitchen and stare out the back door. "Yes," Katherine said, "They do look nice. The yard needed the color. It looks much better now. If I know Khaat, she isnt' done with the yard yet." "She's avoiding going into Sparks," Robert said softly, sipping on a fresh cup of tea. "Why?" Katherine asked. "Ah," Robert said, "She doesn't want to get into it with Jen or Rob either one. Seems as she took that welcoming gift you made for Jen over to the Blue Moon before it opened, and Jen told her they didn't serve 'pregnant Lupins' there."
"She didn't!" Katherine looked at Robert, flashing in anger. "She did,"Robert said. "Oh, come on, Kate, Lupins have been discriminated against for decades. Khaat knows that, and knows how to respond to that. Khaat didn't reply, she just left. She has resolved she won't go into the Blue Moon again, and she will have nothing to do with Jen. So she's avoiding going into Sparks so she doesn't drag Rob in the middle of it. If he gets there it will be Jen's doing and not hers. So, she's looking for a lot of things at home to do. I might release her off her leave. Maybe she'd be better off working." "Is that good for Abbey?" "Well, this may be worse than the working. I don't know yet. That's why I"m sticking close to her."

Steven tured listening to there converstion "The blue moon, mind if i check it out some time?" he said his voice and disposishion now lifted from what it was as if giving up his ring lifted the dark cloud that sat over him for that moment.he chuckled "purly for reco "he said now with a slight lop sided smile as he though maybe a night out was what he needed, some way to recharge his batterys since he couldn't work yet "Robert sir, when do ya think i could go back in active service?"he loked at him as he made himself a mug of tea "I know it won't be till after the brake when john and andrew return to school" he blew across the top of his cup leaning back against the counter, but looking at Kathrine he stood upright "sorry maam, bad habit" he said

"You are welcome to check it out, but you'll find that Jen is basically an assassin. She can take most men on in full battle and win. However--she also has a nasty habit of acting like an ass at times and certainly talking like one. Personally, I'd like to see Khaat beat the daylights out of her just once and take Jen off her high horse, but I don't see Khaat even wanting to do that. She's used to being called hurtful names because of just being a Lupin. Not that it hurts any less when it happens. She's trying very hard to avoid Rob feeling like he has to choose between her and his sister. She doesn't want him to ever feel like he has to make that decision. "