Decision Making

Khaat wandered her nursery in her house. This was going to be where her baby slept and played and grew. She felt her still flat stomach, and wondered where Rob was. He had disappeared without a word. She wore his ring faithfully, but he hadn't even sent a word to her. Her ruby ring showed Ruby every day, so she knew whereever he was, he was alive and well. But that was all she knew. She didn't understand why he left or if he was coming back at all. And, as she wandered through the room, touching baby quilts and baby toys, she wondered if keeping this child was a blessing or a huge mistake. Did she want to raise a child from birth by herself? And at her age? And had she done something to drive him away? If so, why didn't he just tell her? DId his fear of committment interfere with his ability to love her? Was this nothing more than his rejection? And what if this child looked exactly like Rob? She would see him every day in the face of her child. Did she really want that if he never came back? Was her life destined to be nothing more than taking care of other people, and would no one ever really care for her?

The pangs of lonliness and depression were deepening each day within her, and the only one who seemed ot know was her father, Robert. She moved Remus's wizarding portrait to her room so she could try to find some sort of comfort in having him close. It was something her father had vehemently opposed, and had warned her she woudl start living in her illusions of Remus, much like spending her life in front of the Mirror of Erised, and would not be liviing in reality. But the ache in her heart that Rob had left was deep. She wasn't sure she wanted to ever love again. She had fallen for him so deeply and so hard and fast, that it had surprised her. Even let herself get pregnant because she simply wasn't thinking. And now here she was, alone.

Jack had come to Khaats house to check she was all right Robert had contacted him as he knew he was the closest person he knew . Jack aperated in front of the house he could sense she was inside and moved to the front door he knowcked but getting no awnser he frowned and moved inside "Khaat you here?" he said moving further into the house. He saw her in the nursary and lent against to door frame his arms folded across his chestas he watched her for a moment seemng to be lost in her thoughts. "so this is where your hiding " he said with a soft smile , as he walked in he lokd around the room "we only have half the suff you do guess were just slow at getting things together with jessica being ill and all " s he moved closer he could sense that somthing wasn't right with her "ok whats wrong?" he asked his voice now softas he would talk to jessica or andrew.

"I just miss Rob, that's all," she said softly. "It's got my thoughts stuck in a rut, wondering if I made a mistake, wondering if I want to do this all by myself. Wondering why he left without a word and hasn't even let me know why? Just a thousand and one questions that I don't have any anwers for. Daddy's not happy that I brought Uncle Remus's portrait here, but sometimes I feel like if Uncle Remus were here things would somehow be quite different. I don't know how. Most of the time, the portrait doesn't talk. It just smiles and poses, like those awful trading cards in those chocolate frogs. I need him to talk more to me. I guess I'm just frustrted and lonely. I spend my life taking care of everyone else. What did I do that drove Rob away from me?"

Jack moved to face her talking his arms he wrapped them around her "maybe the reason he dosen't talk is theres nothing to say,because you have done nothing for him to speack to you about, Rob left because he chose to , not your fault , and your not alone you have your father and mother jessica, me , mis and gar "he paused feeling a hug was what she needed "your surounded by people who care about you, jess needs you as a freind as some one she can talk to, same gose for me to , who else can i get to sneek off with and grab sneeky cups of coffee with out your father knowing" he rubbed her back gently as he softly chuckled but with a sigh.

"True," She smiled. " I didn't figure Daddy would leave me alone for long. But sending you, now that's just sneaky," She laughed softly. "Speaking of coffee, lets go get some. Standing in this nursery doesn't make my choice about whether I want to keep and have this baby or not any easier. Let's get out of here." She walked out of the room and headed downstairs. She waved her hand and started the coffee preparing itself magically. She normally made it muggle style, but just didn't want to be bothered with that today. 'Uncle Remus would have liked you, Jack. I think the two of you would have been good friends. You believe a lot in the same things. I would have like to have seen him meet you. That would have been nice."

Jack watched her "I read about him when i was in the minstry he was a good guy, yeah I think we would have "he said with a smile "shame we came from different times , it would have been intresting, me and him battling for dominace " he chuckled " thought I don't think we would have, he seemed a forthright kinda guy" he watched the magical tea making nd chuckled again as he moved to sit down. "Tell me more about him, like i said i only know about him from what I read ,I know he participated in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries and defeated a number of Death Eaters including their leader, Lucius Malfoy" he said "but its all offical stuff nothing about the man himself"

Khaat poured coffee for them and set a cup in front of Jack. "Remus was warm and kind, and he had a real hunger for adventure. He was warrior more than anything else. And I never saw a man who loved life more or loved his family more. He wsa completely devoted. He used to teach me dueling games with just twigs he broke off of the trees before I was old enough to hold a wand. he bought me my first wand when I went to Hogwarts my first year. I could tell him anything and everything--and did, too. When he was murdered, I thought I was going to die too. I was Harry's age. He and I were in the same class, in the same house. But I had to take a leave from Hogwarts when Remus died. Part of me never did get past his being gone. I spent a lot of years hiding from the world up at the farm because I saw no point in being in a world that would take the only thing I ever loved. I suppose that's sort of the way I have been feeling about Rob's being gone--like I'm back in that world that steals away the things I love. Anyway, I saw him at his best and at his worst--when he'd gone through his 'illness' as he called it. My necklace just never lets me get too close to a werewolf in their natural form. It wards them away. My father wasn't so lucky. Remus bit him once when Daddy was trying to help him. It makes me wonder if my child will carry the curse or not."

Jack listened to her he understood her worrie "Khaat you do know I am a wearwolf?" he said "and andrew is not A Wearwolf and hes my son " he said sipping his coffee "the baby you carry is half Robs theres also that chance the baby won't look at jessica and me, she's human and well you know what i am" he blew acrss the top of his coffee "I try not to be around them when the full moons out but apart from thet everythings fine" he looked at her again hoping his words would calm her in some way.

"Remus did the same thing, basically," Khaat said. "My father had a very safe place to imprison him when he as going to change. And then he would come and get him when it was daylight. Remus learned to hate it. So did I. You know I don't actually know if I am a werewolff or not. The necklace forbids the change from ever happening if it does exists within me. So nobody truly knows. Remus had Nicolas Flamel make it before I was born, when my mother was pregnant with me. You realize, I'm not afraid of werewolves in the least. It's a Lupin thing, you know. But--if Rob even comes back, how could I possibly tell him his child is maybe half werewolf? If he runs off just knowing he's going to be a dad, goodness knows what he'll do if he knows the rest of it. Promise me you'll pummel the crap out of him if he comes back.... well, maybe pummeling. It sure sounds good at the moment."

Jack laughed "sure I promise, but would n't you rather have him alive than pummled " he said smiling "but if thats why he's left then he's no father if you don't mind me saying, when jessica was pregnat with Andrew I didn't run off i accepted my responcibility and I am glad i did , hes a wonderfull boy, who i hope will take after his mother and use his magic wisly, thats what he sould do not runaway" jack grunted as he took a drink of his coffee "hes no man or wolf if he dose that, not in my eyes" Jack became slightly enraged at the thought of some man leaving Khaat , the only freind he had out of the ministry"like i said I know dozens of good men who would be willing to take you and his chid on, and they would only see a child in need or a father nothing else "