Dancing had always been the exception to Amelia’s constant need for control. Although she would never allow others to guide her path in everyday life, when she was dancing, she found that giving herself over to the lead was a simple task. This was especially true when her dance partner was an exceptionally good dancer, as was the case with Elijah. His movements seemed effortless, the work of a subconscious that had taken over when Elijah’s focus was directed elsewhere.
Focused on you, it seems her inner voice added, making heat rise to her cheeks once again. It seemed that no matter what Elijah did, Amelia managed to find a way to blush about it. Usually, Amelia didn’t find herself embarrassed, but Elijah brought that out in her, along with many other inexplicable aspects of her personality that she had managed to bury so many years ago.
Amelia waltzed with Elijah, a promenade here, a twirl there. The waltz was a quick Viennese, turning them round and round as they circled the floor. The constant spinning would have likely made her dizzy, but for the fact that she had found a focal point by which she could orient herself: Elijah’s eyes. They were penetrating through her, but not in the same way she felt those of other students did. When Elijah looked at her, he seemed to be looking for the source of something; when others looked at her, she knew they were looking for answers – the answers she didn’t readily provide. She found herself entranced by this attention, so much so that she began to lose track of the amount of time they had been dancing.
Amelia nodded as Elijah responded to her question, not really having heard the answer even though she had originated the line of conversation. She had meant to listen to what he said – it wasn’t as if she was intentionally tuning him out – but she was distracted. The elegance of the ballroom, Elijah’s hand on the small of her back, the smell of his cologne, his dark hair falling like silk curtains around his face – it was all a lot to take in.
It’s not as if there will be a quiz later, Amelia thought, attempting to excuse her lack of focus. She hoped Elijah would not notice how scatterbrained he was making her, or at least that he would write it off as a product of the multiple spins he had put her through.
As the song came to a close, Elijah spun Amelia one last time. Her dress fanned out around her, and just as the last chord of the song played she was closed back into his arms, the momentum carrying her just a bit too close to him, making their closed frame position even more “closed”. With their chests only centimeters apart, Amelia found herself having to tilt her head back to look up to Elijah. When she found him looking down at her, she suddenly felt very warm, her breath catching in her throat – which she suspected had very little to do with the exertion of dancing.
The moment lasted only a split second too long, Elijah’s suggestion of finding a table breaking the sudden tension between them. At his suggestion, Amelia took a small step backward, regaining the socially acceptable amount of space between them. Clearing her throat, she nodded, lifting a hand to tuck an escaped curl behind her ear.
“Yes. I think that would be appropriate,” she added, reverting back to her more technical responses to make up for the touchy-feeling emotions which were beginning to creep up on her. Dropping her hand from Elijah’s shoulder, she moved the hand that had been holding his onto his arm in the same neutral way they had been maintaining before the dance.
Hold his hand.
No.
Why not?
Because I can’t.
The internal debate was back and lingered through the journey back to the table. In the end, her hesitation ended the debate, because as the pair of them took chairs next to one another at a table a little ways removed from the dance floor, it was too late for her to reach for his hand. Mentally, she cursed her indecision, knowing that she had missed her chance to reciprocate some of the affection Elijah was showing her. Even though she was not completely in touch with the feelings which were swirling about her mind and body, Amelia did realize on a more logical level that Elijah was attractive and that she was at least physically interested in him. Holding his hand would have been a low-risk way of conveying that to him.
A regular romantic, you are. her subconscious retorted sarcastically, the eye roll suggested by the tone her inner voice had taken on.