Delving into Another World

Zoe watched as Catalina seemed to frown at her comment that it was ok, and not to worry about it. She tried to give a smile so that she would see that Zoe held no hard feelings from the comment.

Listening to Catalina talk about rejection and being ignored made Zoe focus a little closer. What was sure really talking about. Then she let it slip. "Falling for the wrong me." This made Zoe smile and let out a small laugh. "I know more than my share about falling for the wrong guys. Trust me on that on."

Nodding was all that Zoe could think of to say that wouldn't be rude. She really didn't like talking a lot about her sisters. They both bugged her. Now Louis, she could talk about her all day. "I think so. But I guess it depends on who you ask. My family, oh no, he is way too nice looking to look anything remotely like me. But some of the teachers think we do."

"I try to be nice. Of course it doesn't always work. But I try." Zoe said. It was the truth. And toward most of the student body she was actually half way decent toward. Now, there were some that she wasn't even anywhere close to that.

The look Catalina gave her was the reason that she didn't really like telling people that she was a Death Eater. "Now you see that the look I try and stay away from." Grabbing her bag and coat Zoe prepared to stand. But she stopped as she let the other finish her questions.

"Why did I join? Was there anything important at stake? Was there a threat?" Zoe repeated each question with a small laugh. "Well when your about 12 or 13 and your mother packs a little suitcase and tells you to get out of her home and never come back. What are you suppose to do? I went to my grandmother but she refused to see me. After about a week on the streets during the winter I saw a women. A women in a nice warm black cloak. She brought me a small piece of bread and took me home with her. Mrs. Malfoy was the nicest woman I had ever met. Finally I had someone to look up to like a mother. I didn't know what Death Eaters were. But I was told, if I wanted to stay there I had to become one. In fear of being kicked out I took it. But it was only recently that I started questioning my actions. Grandmum Weasley gave me the Manor when she found out who I was living with. I took it but that is as far from the Death Eaters I can get."

Zoe let out a deep sigh. She hugged her bag closer to her body. Catalina's comment on staying took Zoe by surprise. "Are you sure?" She tried to relax a little but knew that it was be hard to do. "What do I stand for? Right now, I'm standing for whatever will keep me alive. I have seen to many people hurt and killed. I'm sick of it. I just want it all to stop." At the mention of the Dark Lords name, Zoe grabbed her arm the mark was burning. "The Dark Lord, stand for himself." Zoe said through very strained teeth.

Zoe smiled a little at Catalina when she brought up the guy issue. Zoe knew all too well what it was like to have issues with guys. "Trust is a tricky thing. If its lost it is almost impossible to get back." This she knew all too well. Not necessary with a love but with people in general. "It's hard to look or trust anyone after an emotional blow like that. But somewhere there is a someone that is right for you. You will find each other. At least that is what I keep telling myself."

"Yea. That is the one thing that connects us. A lot of people say we have the same eyes. We have a lot of actions that we share. We act a lot alike. It's what use to drive mother crazy." Zoe smiled at the memory. "She always did hate when I acted more like a boy than a girl. I shouldn't have been acting like that. But Louis was always with me. How else was I suppose to act? I mean I learned the most form him."
Zoe nodded at Catalina's comment about being too nice. "Sometimes being too nice can get you in trouble. People will take advantage of you. Just be careful." She knew this little fact very well. She had started out being really nice to everyone, but that ended pretty quickly actually.

Zoe watched Catalina's reactions very close. "I worry and wonder every day. Did I make the right choice? I know now that it was wrong. But at the moment, I was hungry and cold. Also being small and knowing no better, I did what I had to do to survive. When all your life you have been treated as a cast away, not even a person, then someone comes along and treats you nice. At that young of an age, you do a lot of things that a mature person wouldn't have done. Had I known then what I know now, no I would have rather died on the streets. But all I ever wanted was someone to actually care about me. And she did that one thing. I lived the life. I saw what I was doing to people. Finally I smartened up. Only issue now is getting out. It's a lot easier said than done. Especially since he can find us all at any moment without any type of warning."

It seemed that Catalina didn't understand that Zoe wasn't a normal Death Eater. That she wanted out of it. "At the time I joined the Death Eaters, I didn't' know as much as I do now. Being shelter from the violence left me ignorant. I ran to the first nice face that I saw. Mrs. Malfoy was very nice to me that day. So I went with her." Taking a moment to take in a deep breath. "But now. Now I want to do anything I can to destroy them. If I can't get out. Fine. But I can destroy them from the inside." Turning back to face Catalina. Zoe knew that her rage against the Death Eaters filled her eyes. There was no way around it.

"What does the Dark Lord want? He wants the world. He wants everything and everyone. He wants all Muggles killed. He wants to rule." That was what he was all about after all.

Zoe watched with edger eyes as Catalina seemed to be taking in what she had said. "Love itself is a hard thing to come by. But it's even harder when you have it and then lose it. Or at least loose the trust in the person." The topic wasn't something that Zoe knew a lot about but she could guess at least.

Catalina's next comment made Zoe laugh. She couldn't really help herself. "Do I live on the idea that someone is out there for me or whatever?" She had to stop herself. Laughter was too much for her at the moment. It took her a few moments to regain herself. "No I don't really believe that. Everyone tells me to have faith, but it just isn't meant for me. I am the worst when it comes to love. I think I will end up alone." That was the first time Zoe had actually said it out loud.

Zoe smiled as Catalina talked about the similarities and differences between siblings. "True, very true. I think a lot of the reasons that Louis and myself are so much alike is because we are twins. As for the other two. Well. Yea I don't know about that." Zoe shook her head and looked away.

When Catalina commented on how she hated people who didn't accept you for who you were, Zoe couldn't help but feel she was talking about something personal. Of course Zoe would never pry. "I know. I hate it to. I can only hope that one day they will. But I'm not holding my breath on it. That's for sure."

"Losing faith in our race is not good Catalina." Zoe pointed out. She could understand how a person might become disappointed but to lose faith all together. That was something totally different. That was something she just couldn't understand. How could someone do that?

Zoe looked back at the other girl with a look of puzzlement on her face. "How do you know Mrs. Malfoy?" Fear suddenly filled Zoe. She knew the women on a first name basis, why. This worried Zoe to no end. Had she been sitting talking with another spy. "I might have to take you up on your offer. But I do have my own house. It was what allowed me a chance to get away from them."

Zoe shrugged her shoulders. "That is a good question. But only your parents can really answer it. I just hope for their sakes its that they might choose not to believe. It is probably easier that way."

"Really." Zoe said almost making it a question. "It might be very interesting to discuss some of the things you have heard. I will need all the help I can get if I want to bring them down." Zoe knew that the entire idea was very farfetched. Bringing down the darkness. How in the world would that happen.

"Do I think he will succeed? God I hope not. I would hate to see the world if he did." Zoe said as a shiver casscade throughout her body. It wasn't cold in the library but she was suddenly very cold.

Playing with the edge of her bag, Zoe sat at the table thinking. So much had been discussed in this small conversation, it amazed her. It turely amazed her.

"You are not the only person that has lost faith in the opposite gender. I have accepted that it will be me and me alone until the end of my days. Of course I have Kit, thats my cat, but thats all." Zoe said looking at her hands. When Catalina said that she had been in love with a Vampire, it made Zoe look up. She didn't know what to say so to be safe she kept quiet.

"How differenet am I from my sisters? Well I love the outdoors. I am one of the biggest tom boys you will ever meet. I do enjoy shopping but not for frilley clothes." Taking in a small breath, Zoe contined. "They are like my mother in that area. They feel that a girl should act like a girl and not a boy." Zoe shook her head trying to get rid of an idea that seemed to have formed itself in there.

Zoe looked back at Catalina for a moment. She was confused but then again, that wasn't something that should really suprise her. She was always confused. But why were they talking about breathing. Zoe didn't understand that comment.

"I question that every day. I wonder if there is really any good people around. I mean real true good people." Shaking her head again, Zoe looked back at her hands. "I mean after all that I have seen. Is there? If so where?"

Listening to Catalina talk, she realized that she had met them. So she understood what kind of person Mrs. Narcissa could be. "Yea. She can be nice. Sometimes I wonder. I mean one moment they act like they don't want to be a part and then the next they do. I have trouble keeping up." This was very true. But the Malfoy's had really been nice to her. Even though her family were what they considered as blood tradtors.

Parties. . .Dresses. . these ideas made Zoe frown. "Uhm. . .I'm not good with either." After taking a few moments. "But I would still love to go. I mean I can do the parties. Never know what I might learn or see." She tired to smile. But the idea of dresses worried Zoe. "I hope they would like me. Some parents do but not all. Especailly after they find out who I am."

Zoe laughed when Catalina commented that Ignornace was bliss. It was that was very true. "It is that."

Sitting forward in her chair, Zoe leaned closer to Catalina. "I think it would be a very intresting conversation. Sometime when we are not surrounded by so many unneeded ears you can tell me a few of the stories." She agreed with Catalina about not letting them come into power. They didn't need the power and must be stopped.

Zoë continued to play with the edge of her bag. It was something she did to keep herself calm. Not really paying any real attention to it. Just something to occupy her hands.

She listened to Catalina as she described how she longed and needed a man. After a moment Zoë finally spoke. "Yea. I don't really know what to say. I am the worst person alive to talk to about guy issues. I have never had any success with any. They always leave me or disappear all together. I just don't get it. Not at all. It's very frustrating." Looking at the table, Zoë was a little unsure if she should say anything about the Vampire issue or not. She didn't have any problems with them, but she was very cautious of them.

When Zoë hard that Catalina liked the outdoors as well, she couldn't help but be perked up a little. "Really. I love to be outside. You should come for a walk with me sometime. Or just hang out down by the lake." It was a little surprising Zoë had to admit. She just assumed that since she sounded so pampered that she would hate the outdoors. "I have to say I am a little surprised. Most people who are raised like you hate the outdoors."

Zoë noticed Catalina grow very quiet. She let her gaze look around the room at the other students that were gathered here and there throughout the library. "Yea. Maybe. But why would the good people be hiding? Shouldn't they be out helping others or something. I just don't know.

Catalina's comment about the Malfoy's made Zoë laugh. "You are so right about that. They think that Pureblood is so special. But that is ridiculous. I mean really. Look around everyone is mix at some point. If we didn't then the inbreeding would really catch up. That isn't something that we need. Not really."

After thinking a few moments, Zoë finally agreed. "Ok. Then count me in. I think it would be interesting. I mean it would be something I've never done before. But I also think hanging out with you will be fun too." A smile made its way to her face. Inside she was still worried but it would be ok. "I am far from a Muggle. Us Weasley's are an old family."

Zoë nodded as Catalina agreed to tell her what she knew. She didn't want to say much out loud for fear that someone was listening. The last thing either of them needed was the plan to get back to him.