when peace shatters

Lily had been sitting with the information Kole had given her for a few days.

It had dogged her, and she wasn’t sure why. Not just her innate sense of right and wrong, but something deeper. That she hadn’t seen it? That it was not a side of her sometime-Potions partner she had ever seen. She supposed that was the point though. How else do people get away with such things?

It made sense she had not seen it. The loose friendship she had struck up with the boy had been coincidental, enough run-ins in the Potions dungeon and an interest to share notes. That was it, really. She was not in his house, nor his year, so she did not see him often. She’d been working alongside a stranger.

She pieced together that the day she ran into him, so upset, must have been the day Kole referred to, when Teddy had confronted him. He’d been so angry… and then they had worked alongside each other, peacefully. They’d even opened up, somewhat. Talked about their parents, even if it had been done so somewhat evasively. Lily knew that, at least for her, it’d been more than she usually trusted people with, and she had the gut feeling the same was for the Slytherin boy.

The whole not-being-in-his-class-or-year came in handy. Despite the unsettling feeling pounding in her skull, she had not run into him in days. She didn’t know what she would do anyway. She was the sort of person to keep her head down, so unlike her famous parents, so unlike her feisty brothers. She stuck to herself and stayed out of trouble.

But she couldn’t ignore this and just work alongside him either.

She’d avoided going to the dungeons, but she was running low on her pain potions. Besides that, potionmaking was one of the few comforts she had, and she could use the distraction.

So, naturally, it was a cruel twist of fate that Alexander was already in the workroom when she slipped into the Potions.

“Oh,” she said, stopping dead. What should she say? What should she do? Hey, by the way, are you like… a total arsehole?

“Sorry I wanted to work on something alone,” she said, beginning to turn away. “I can come back.”

Alexander had been seeking refuge in the potions workroom ever since his encounter with the Kane siblings, his left eye still surrounded by a faint yellow bruise from Kole's blows. Lost in his potion making, he was startled when the door suddenly opened, revealing Lily standing in the doorway. His lips curled into a small smile at the sight of her.

"Hey," he greeted her, slightly confused as to why she seemed to be leaving. "What's up?"


Alexander shook his head, his brow furrowing in confusion. "What are you talking about? There's plenty of space for us both to work here. Please stay."

He gestured towards the workbench next to his, hoping that she would take the invitation. Alexander couldn't deny that he had been thinking about Lily a lot lately. The idea of having her nearby while he worked on his potions was a pleasant one. It was nice to have someone he could talk to.

His smile was genuine, his confusion palpable.

And the corroboration of his encounter with the Koles was right there on his face.

Her eyes briefly darted right to the shadow of the bruise around his eye, bringing the story she had heard into the harsh light of reality.

She didn’t like this. She didn’t like the shift that truth could bring to what would have once been a comfortable, inviting scene.

She swayed on the spot, wanting desperately to leave. To make some deeper excuse, she forgot she had an essay due, she was supposed to meet someone here and needed to find them. Because she minded her own business.

“Okay,” she said, a sense of defeat sinking over her. Ever since she’d been turned, she’d found the curse had not brought any of that aggression werewolves were accused of having, but rather the opposite, forcing her into a state of meekness even her quiet self did not find comfortable. As though unable to refuse, her feet walked forward, heading towards the spot he had offered.

”It's kind of nice, not having to make a decision."

The memory of this statement stopped her in her tracks.

She couldn’t keep her head down forever.

“What happened to your eye?”

Lily had uttered the same line for the second time in Alex's presence, and he couldn't help but ponder over its meaning. As he continued to work on his potion, he sensed her gaze upon him, and before long, she questioned his appearance.

"It was nothing," he replied, his voice strained, hoping to brush it off. "Just a misunderstanding."

But he knew that he couldn't keep up the facade for long. He felt uneasy, like he was hiding something from Lily, the one person he could almost call a friend. They had a unique bond, one that he cherished. He didn't have to pretend to be someone he wasn't, and he could talk to her without any inhibitions.

But the lie weighed heavily on his conscience, and he knew he couldn't keep it from her for long. He took a deep breath and looked up at her, his eyes meeting hers. "Actually, there was a fight," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I got into a fight with some guy from the other house, and...I got punched in the eye."

He looked away, feeling ashamed and vulnerable, but at the same time, relieved to have finally come clean.

It had made him uncomfortable.

That wasn't something she was used to. At the most, she was a calming presence. At the least, she wasn't even noticed. She didn't rock the boat or cause waves or whatever metaphor meant she did not get involved, especially if meant making a situation anything less than easy.

And she might have shied away from pressing further if he did not look... What was that? Mild embarrassment? She wasn't sure what was appropriate in this situation, but it didn't feel like enough.

"Was that before or after you fractured someone's wrist?"

As Lily mentioned someone's wrist being fractured, confusion flickered across Alex's face. "I might have done some stupid and cruel things, but I didn't hurt her," he protested, but he knew he had let slip the fact that he knew who Lily was talking about. He sighed, giving up the pretense of not understanding what she meant.

"Maddison," he said her name reluctantly. "She tripped on her shoelaces when I used magic to make them come undone. I didn't mean to hurt her, just knock her down."

He felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he revealed the truth to Lily. Why was he telling her this? He wouldn't have confided in anyone else, but there was something about Lily that made him feel comfortable sharing his secrets with her. He trusted her, even though they weren't exactly friends.

He immediately deflected the blame.

He immediately made it her fault.

He immediately minimized what had happened.

Lily might have been angrier about her lot in life, but Albus and James had claimed all the familial rage there was to offer. She'd been left with an indifferent sense of 'it is what it is'. Injustice didn't sting her, it seemed expected.

So where was this trickle of anger coming from now? Was it some long delayed reaction? Was it anger at herself? Or was it something deeper, the anger on behalf of other women, the anger that coursed though every woman's blood, at the indignation that men, even boys, thought it was okay to just do as they please. And then would treat it like it was just... well-intentioned mistakes.

"And so was that before or after you tried to forcibly kiss her?" she said, this time an edge in her voice.

(vibes)

Alex's eyes narrowed as he looked at Lily again, disbelieving what he had just heard. "You're listening to the lies of that stupid Hufflepuff now too?" he snapped, his anger bubbling to the surface. "I was just having some fun, and Lupin and Cuffe have already lectured me on what they think my behavior was, thank you."

He turned away from her, his tone growing icy with anger. Picking up an ingredient, he tossed it into the cauldron with more force than necessary, letting out a frustrated huff. He couldn't believe that Lily, who he thought was different from the others, was now turning on him too.

He knew he had made a mistake, but it wasn't like he had hurt anyone. He had just been trying to blow off steam and have a little fun. Why was everyone making such a big deal out of it?

He sighed and turned back to Lily, his expression softening slightly. "Look, I'm sorry for snapping at you. It's just frustrating when everyone seems to be against me. I thought we were almost friends."

She waited.

She was nothing but patient.

It was exactly like the last time she had seen him. He had been angry and she had waited it out, and then she could talk. Because she had no interest in becoming his next punching bag.

Even if it came to that. She was the daughter of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley. She could handle herself.

"I thought we were almost friends too," she said, nodding her head in agreement. "And then I heard what you did to that 'stupid Hufflepuff.' Do you know why I believe her, Alexander? Because I believe women when they tell me men were shitty. When they say someone forced themselves on them. Because it happens every day. It's happened to millions of women. It's happened," she steadied herself, keeping her voice level. "It's happened to me."

Of course it had. What little girl had not had some stranger be a little too comfortable, a little too familiar.

She cocked her head, her eyes cold, her expression firm, and her voice never rising above a calm tone. "I don't buy the excuse of just having a little fun because, at the end of the day, it's not funny."

As Alex looked into Lily's eyes, he saw something that caught him off guard. Her confession about being a victim struck a chord with him, resonating deeply within him. He felt a pang of guilt for his own behavior, realizing that he had been blind to the impact of his actions on others.

"No, it wasn't funny for the girls," he conceded, the anger within him threatening to burst out. "But Mason's reaction to it was. He didn't want to admit he had feelings for Kane, and now look at them." He spoke as if his actions had caused some positive change in the girls' lives, but he couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt that had taken hold of him.

He realized that he needed to take responsibility for his actions and make amends for the harm he had caused. He turned to Lily and spoke in a softer tone. "I'm sorry."