[OPEN] On Borrowed Time

Adrienne shrugged as nonchalantly as possible, trying to pretend she wasn't still slightly in shock. Perhaps the alcohol really was getting to her; she would never have wanted to appear so visibly confused or concerned. She may have been the sort to show her emotions without meaning to, but that incompetence was not something she cared to let anyone else see.

"Um," she attempted, her cheeks coloring vibrantly. "Well, the legal side of things has been taken care of. So, yes we've said our 'I do's and all that, but the emotional connection? It doesn't exist, really. It isn't as though we've ever...

"Well."

Adrienne wasn't about to come out and say it, but something told her that Selwyn could figure out what she had on her mind. She wasn't the sort to actually go through with something like that unless she really wanted to, and clearly, with Kaiden, she didn't have the patience to so much as consider it.

"I guess you could say we're stuck because my parents think we care, and his parents are pureblooded and are the kind to be uninterested in a divorce," Adrienne concluded with a sigh, staring down at her glass.

"And that's what upsets you, not having an emotional connection," he filled in.

"You... you're lucky he didn't make you, Addie."

His voice was full of pain.  Selwyn's breathing was shallow and he could feel himself trembling, though he doubted Adrienne would be able to notice the last.  Dear Merlin, he hoped she wouldn't notice.

Selwyn would have said he was out of touch with his emotions, and deliberately so.  That was why he had so many problems, why he was so screwed up, as he liked to put it.  But at times he could be terribly in touch with himself.  Usually when someone else was there to make the whole situation that much more complicated.

"Lack of consummation is grounds for annulment.  If he's a pureblood, he doubtless knows that.  Do you think maybe he wants out of it as well?"

Until moments ago, the need to find a wife of his own had been a burden hoisted upon him.  It was a responsibility that, if he fulfilled it properly, would end with himself married and a Lady for Sìth Brugh. He'd never associated it with genuine feeling, indeed was perfectly content to accommodate the paramours of whomever he ended up with.  She was supposed to love the land, not him.

He'd felt burning desire before.  That was just lust, that was how he'd felt about Eli when they were at school.  This hollow space where his heart should be was new, though.  It was caring and wanting what was best for a person and being willing to put what you wanted on the backburner for their needs.  Selwyn knew without needing to ask Adrienne wouldn't want to step out of one marriage just to be locked into another.  He didn't even know if she was interested in him that way.

The trick with the barmaid really was going to be interesting.

Adrienne drew in a shocked breath, worry clouding her features. It was something she had been concerned about in the past, but Kaiden had made it quite clear that the intention wasn't there. He was about as into her as she was when it came to him. Particularly in that sense. Something about him seemed slightly off when he replied, but Adrienne didn't really know the nuances of his personality to know if she was reading him right. In the end, it didn't matter if she did or didn't understand him correctly. The conversation was still about her, and she wasn't sure how to change the direction at that point.

"It isn't as though people think we haven't, though, is it? Who in his family's circles would look at us and just go along with it? Particularly his parents? I mean, I think my father has figured out how frequently we argue, but as much as I want to believe you're right, I'm not sure we could actually get away with it," she replied gently, her lips turning down in a sort of pout.

Adrienne shook her head, deciding that, if he could take the time to be serious about her problems, she could at least try to have a bit of faith in him. "There's a part of me that is grateful for him. We live in a house that is... comfortable. I've had rough times with work lately, and goodness knows how long I'll actually be able to keep it up. I thought I would be living on my own, working in a job that would lead somewhere better -- Not married and in some crap job where people can use me to get what they want. It's just... not what I was planning on."

It took a moment, but she realized just how much she was talking about herself. It was something she tried to avoid, if only because it didn't always make her many friends. Besides, she didn't have many pleasant topics to cover. So she sat up straighter, lifting her drink again to draw in a large gulp. If she was going to deal with the whole barmaid ordeal, she would need a bit of help. Setting down the glass, she met his gaze again, hesitating, but lifted a hand before looking to see if she had managed to get the attention of the woman in question. If nothing else, she mused silently, Selwyn could probably get her attention...

Selwyn smiled wryly.

"He's pureblood.  If his parents are that worried about divorce, it's because they need an heir.  I'm only halfblood and I need an heir.  I managed to avoid the marriage law and you should see the kind of rigmarole I'm going through now."

His traitor tongue slipped the fact so easily into the conversation, as though it was a point of comparison and nothing more.

"Sorry, my point is that even if I married someone I wasn't attracted to, I would still need to sleep with them, because I need an heir."

"I wasn't joking when I said you were lucky he didn't force you.  Purebloods take this stuff seriously.  There are fertility potions and love potions; if he was really twisted, he could have just body-bound you.  Or used the Imperius.  There's a reason I damp down the allure when I'm around humans."

Selwyn's words were earnest.  He was frustrated, both at the perverse methods he'd heard described in the common room which were doubtless being put to good use by some, and by his own instincts that he could feel crying for release.  

"Trust me, if he hasn't even tried to have sex with you, it's because he doesn't want to. You should at least ask him what he thinks.  You can't stay with someone because not being with him might be worse.  You deserve to be actually happy."

Selwyn gave her his patented impish grin as she drank, presumably to fortify herself against what was to come.  That probably wasn't a good idea, she'd need to be on her toes in a moment.  

He angled his body away from hers, so as to be facing the waitress when she arrived at the table, and watched the woman approach.

Dark hair beneath fingertips.  Blood on moss.  Back arched just so.  Hips crushed together.  Tangled limbs.  Taste... He wondered what she tasted like...

Selwyn's breathing had sped up again as images raced through his mind.  Usually, when he charmed someone it was a feeling of letting go.  There was a place in the pit of his stomach where a knot rested and letting the veela come out was just a matter of letting that knot slowly unwind.  Tonight, it felt like it was tearing him apart.

Selwyn didn't hear the woman ask for their orders, but his eyes snapped wide (he didn't realise he'd been looking at her through his eyelashes) as he turned the desire he'd been feeling for Adrienne all night on the waitress.

"Same again?" he suggested, before turning back to Addie.

"I need to use the little boy's room, I'll be right back," he told her.




((I know that's super long, I don't mind if you split it up to reply))

(ooc: I never mind long posts. I often post too much as is XD I just hope mine makes sense; I'm not sure I wrote it very well.)

She coughed slightly into her drink when he replied that he understood the need for an heir. She almost felt bad for him, but she was more astounded at the direction that their conversation had gone than aware of the anxiety she felt for him. That fear was almost immediately overwhelmed by the truth that he chose to level at her. He was right, it could have been worse. But that didn't mean she enjoyed the hand she had been dealt.

Was that an insult? Adrienne couldn't tell, but it made her feel oddly uncomfortable nonetheless. Sure, they disliked each other, but to be told he probably wasn't attracted to her in the least... she wasn't sure if that was meant to be positive or not. Adrienne probably looked slightly affronted, but she didn't truly mean to. He seemed to care about her happiness, which was sort of a new concept outside of her younger brother - the one she was in contact with, anyway - and her parents. She wasn't sure about Kaiden at all.

She had no idea how to respond to that, so she instead watched him turn towards the other woman. Something bizarre was happening and she couldn't really say what it was that she was feeling. Something twisted in her stomach, and she felt her lips part in a sort of confused surprise. If she felt so astounded and he wasn't even paying her any attention, what on earth must that girl have felt. Adrienne wanted to look over and see if the barmaid looked as stuck as she herself felt, but she just couldn't.

When he turned back to her, Adrienne could tell that she was staring and that her skin was flushed. "I-... Um, yes," she replied automatically, blinking several times. She nodded belatedly, registering his claim that he needed to leave for a moment. A part of her really didn't want him to, and she frowned slightly but kept quiet.

As Selwyn left, she followed him with her gaze before shaking her head and trying to clear it. She stared down at the desk, only half surprised when another round of drink showed up at their table and the girl didn't look the least bit concerned about waiting for any sort of payment. Drawing her lower lip between her teeth, Adrienne tried to steady her breathing and focus her thoughts, finding herself more and more frustrated when she couldn't manage it properly.

Selwyn turned and leant against the latched door.  Somehow, that didn't seem enough, so he tried slamming the back of his head against it a couple of times.

Think cold thoughts.  He really didn't want to take drastic measures in a public toilet.


When he returned to the table, he was feeling more himself.  And their drinks had arrived.

"It worked?" he checked.

Adrienne's chin lifted when he returned, her gaze seeking out his. "It would appear that way, yes," she returned, her manner of speaking far more professional, somehow. She didn't really know how to act after something like that. Particularly since he seemed essentially unaffected.

She had several questions on her lips, waiting to burst free, but she couldn't really bring herself to just put them all out there. Mostly, it was for fear of looking ignorant. But it wasn't as though she had known him well enough during school to understand that this was something he dealt with.

"Um," she started finally. "So that... is what's normal for you? I can't say I expected it to feel like that," Adrienne admitted quietly. "And that was just from sitting nearby. How on earth do you stand it?"

Her tone and manner had become more formal, and Selwyn instantly knew what had happened. Probably a good thing he'd run off, then.  It gave them both time to regain their composure.

"Told ya," he snickered. "Have both."

His first drink wasn't even half finished, anyway.

"Not exactly," he said.  "I have the genes for being a veela, so it doesn't effect me so badly.  Remember, we can shapeshift too; the species would have died out if we were effected as dramatically as you are."

He ran a hand through his hair.

"But I kind of lost concentration," he admitted.  "So it wasn't normal either way.  That's why I had to leave the table."

Well, it was almost true.

Adrienne would claim later that it was her Ravenclaw background. Her need for information. That curiosity was going to genuinely get her into trouble, as much as the cliché irritated her. Her eyes followed his hand, surprised by the apparent show of discomfort. Finally, she just couldn't stand it anymore. She had to ask.

"If that was you not concentrating..." She shook her head, looking for the best way to form her question. "How, um,..." Adrienne glanced down, hesitating. When she spoke again, her gaze jumped up to seek out his. "Intense, I suppose, does it get for someone like me when you really are focused on it?

"I mean.. Provided you know," she clarified hastily, clearing her throat quietly and toying with the handle of her glass. She wasn't sure she could manage the other two as well, but as least they hadn't paid for them.

His breath caught.  For a moment, he thought she was talking specifically about herself, rather than humans in general.

"Not everyone's the same. Some people are more susceptible than others."

It was an offhand comment.  Fact spouted while he tried to decide if this was an opening he wanted to take.  Whatever happened to the Selwyn Thorfinn who dived right in and damned the consequences?

"Um," he was flustered now, "When I was in sixth year, I was at a party and this boy ended up on his knees, begging for my affection.  That should give you some idea.

"It makes me feel like a creeper, to be honest.  I know people wouldn't act that way normally."

Selwyn bit down on his lower lip and watched her for signs of repulsion.  He needed to tell her.  He wanted to tell her.  He couldn't figure out if it would be the most selfish thing he'd ever done.