It takes two to tango

Nym watched as his face turns pale and dumbfound expression replaces the usual, smug. She did it, true, she wanted to erase that look from his face with some other theme, not with her father's death. The blonde would do everything to bring her father back, but she couldn't do it, you can't raised people from death naturally, someone will die instead of them, the price must be paid.

"They told me it was car accident. But...." Her voice was more hysterical than usual but she hoped he wouldn't notice. He doesn't care anyway. Nymeria wonder was any word he said to her earlier was true or he was bored and played some wicked kind of game to keep it interesting. That was something she'll expected his brother would do. She met the older O'Sullivan when she was 16, maybe 17, Nym and Sebastien spoke only for about 15 minutes and yet she got the feeling he doesn't care for anything or anyone, he would do anything if he's bored. Maybe his little brother was more like him then she noticed. Blood is not a water, after all.

"Nothing. Forget it." She added. She doubted that her father died the way they told her. Nym knew her father, Adrien Evanesco hated cars, and he would never drive it alone. He claimed he never learn how to drive, although he had his driver license, approved by muggle police in France.
It was raining that day when he killed. They fight and he ran through the door. She never saw him again.

Later, at 2AM she got a phone call from muggle police. They told her he had a car accident, that roadway was slick, breaks didn't work properly, his car skidded and hit the rock turning on its roof. Emergency didn't came soon enough, he died surrounded by a curved sheet.

She saw the car few days later, one day before his funeral. It was devastated. Crumpled like an old paper, and the driver's side was unrecognizable.

She took his tea and drank half of the cup. Nym didn't notice its taste this time, or she simply didn't care. "The truth?" The blonde glanced at him confused. "Oh, that truth, yes, he told me all about that, it's kind of stupid, you know." In truth, Nymeria had no idea what he's talking about, but she thought she could play along with it, maybe he won't notice she's bluffing and she could find out what was that they were hiding from her. She thought her father didn't keep secrets from her, Nym guessed she didn't know him.

"I just asked, what's gotten into you?" he looked her like she's a stranger "Listen, I have no interest fighting with you, we both know who's better." Of course, she was. He knew it and she probably knew it too. But looking her now makes him realize that she changed a lot. She become more like him. He didn't really knew how to talk to her now, he didn't knew what she's capable of. "You've changed." he said finally.

He was still shocked and confused. He was expecting whole bunch of things but this? Adrien is death? No, he didn't expect this at all. Yes, he was old but not that old. He was about what, 45-50? And why no one told him about it? He was in the order too, they were in contact after he left. "When?" he asked. He had to create time line, it was his thing. He had to get some more answers but he was too scared to ask Nym. She can't be involved, it may be nothing but if the time line was as he thought it is, then they had a problem.

He tried to relax, but he didn't really care anymore, if she sees him like that. It may be better that she learns the truth about him. If Adrian didn't told her about the attack, neither will Chris. But there's one other thing that she deserves to know.

Nym thought he was a liar, which he was. But it wasn't all lie. Yes, he never told her about his mother, every time she tried to ask him about her he would changed the subject. And his father? He told her only that he's a Muggle. He also told her that aunty Jenna took him and Bastien but he never told her that Bastien was the one ho raised Hayley and him, since Jenna was very busy woman. And he never told her the real reason he joined the order. He even lied about where he lived and what he was doing. She knew he was a reporter but he told her he quit when he came to France. His feelings was real though, so maybe that's the reason he decided to finally tell her the truth about himself. He was late, he knew it, but he decided to tell her anyway.

"You know, I lost my parents too." he started whispering. He didn't expected forgiveness and understanding, he didn't asked for compassion, he just wanted her to know. "My mother.. she was killed by a werewolf when I was 11. Bas and I.. we found the body in our living room." he smiled sad, remembering that moment when boys came home from park. Their father was out that night. "And Thomas, he's alcoholic. When our mother died we moved to aunty Jenna. She was very depressed, maybe more than me, if that was possible. She wasn't there you know. You met my brother, Sebastien? Well, he's the one who raised us." he looked at her, he was calm like when he's talking about weather. "Nymeria, I don't need your forgiveness, to be honest I would feel better if you're angry with me. But you're the only one I trust right now so I need you to understand why I never told you the truth about my family." he silent when the waitress passes by their table. He ate the rest of his sandwich and then ordered two apple pies.

He raised his eyebrows. He told her but yet she's acting like Christian is the only one to blame. "If you know, then everything changes. You're clever, you know that leaving was the only way to keep you safe. So why are you acting like this?"

She looked amused in him. What did he expected, that she's going to say it's devil, Tinky Winky, something sillier? Nym is sure he'll be disappointed he didn't met the same Nymeria he left in Paris and never looked back. He didn't even send her a text message. That Nymeria is dead, died along with her father, the last person who abandoned her, at least he didn't go willingly.

Christian did. He left her worried for him. At first she thought he died in some Order's mission. She was scared to read the Daily Prophet thinking she'll find his picture in Black Chronicle. With description of some bizarre accident they made up to cover the real thing. The same way she thought they did for her father's death.

After some time she stopped thinking he's dead. If he is she was sure she would found out already, but she hadn't heard a thing from him. He just left. Nym knew she couldn't find him unless he wants to be found, but she tried a dozens of times, anyway. With no result. She didn't know for which papers he writes, every time she asked him he would change the subject, and she would assumed he's timid so she would drop it. Until next time. And next.

Nymeria even joined the Order partly because of her father but partly because she hoped she'll find some evidence about Christian, but they didn't mention him. Not a single time. Nym even thought he left it, but that didn't seem like something he would do. If she knew him, of course.
"Before a year, or so." Actually it was one year, three months and sixteen days. Not that she counts.

The blonde already went through all five degrees of grief.
Shock and denial came first. She tried to reach to him, his cell phone, letter send via owl, muggle post office, there's no way she didn't tried. And she didn't got any answer from him. The phone constantly send her to his voicemail, she hated the thing he avoids her, but she thought he'll answer when he listens all the voicemails she left. All 63. But he didn't, and after some time, when she dialed his number silence was the only one who suited her from the other side of the call. Christian changed his number. He didn't wanted that she can reach him, so he took care of everything.

Intense concern came second. She couldn't stop thinking about him, wondering where he is, why he left, why he hadn't said her he was leaving. Nym stopped eating, she lost almost ten pounds and been sick most of the time due to weakened immunity. She always thought the scenses in the movies when someone got sick after loosing someone or something, are nothing more than fiction. And then she became sick, karma really is a B

She was very quiet for few minutes so Christian used that time to review his own views, his opinions, this situation and everything he knew.

First of all, women of his life is sitting in front of him and what's he doing? Nothing! 'What am I suppose to do exactly?' Question number one, no answer.
So, Nym was the only girl Chris ever loved. He let himself some space, he loved her, he was planning to stay with her forever, he even told his brother he was in love (yes, he said it out loud). He lied to her but he was planning to tell her the truth. He even spoke to her father about what he felt, that was the only way to stay. And he was happy, first time in his life he was actually happy. And than, life happened. There was an attack, Sebastien went to wherever he went, tracking werewolf who killed Elizabeth. It wasn't his job but he done it anyway, so that Christian can be happy with Nym. Now, Seb went missing and Chris is everything but he's definitely not happy. And why is that? Well, it's because of Adrien. For some reason, he told Chris that he couldn't stay with Nym anymore.

"Why?" Chris asked hysterically, he wasn't ready for reality, for real life.
"It's not safe. Not for her." Adrien, Nym's father was so calm, like it's nothing, like he's talking about quidditch game, not about two lifes. "As long as you're here and as long as they're alive, she'll be in danger. You have to go, Christian."
Christian was terrified, why is this heppening to him? Where did he messed up?  He closed his eyes, holding his tears "Okay."
By the next morning, he was gone.

Secondly, he was broken. He was so broken and he didn't realised how much until now. This revenge took so much from him, so many lifes, including his brother. If anything happens to Sebastien, well that's on him. Why can't he just forget, like Bastien did? Why can't he just let go? He knew why. If he let go, he'll explode. He's not strong enough to keep it together. He's falling, but he still has something to hold to. If he let it go, well he'll fall hard, and he didn't want to fell pain that he felt when he lost his mother. He knew that killing that werewolf wont changed anything, but it become his obsession, he couldn't let go.
And because of that obsession, he lost love of his life, than his brother, his cousin probably and who knew how much more.

Third, when you're 11 years old boy, and when you find you're mom's dead body, then you create this whole thing in your head. You're scared to let people in, because you felt the pain, the worst of all, loosing your loved ones, the one who brought you on this world. You build the walls around your heart, inside you hold only few people. Outside is everything else. Pain, guilt, fear, passion, every single feeling. When you built thath walls, you stop feeling for everyone who is out side of that castle of yours. And then when you find love of your life, you have to be strong, but with that walls? You can't be. So you have to lie, to protect yourself on the other way, since the walls doesn't help anymore.
That is Christian.

When Christian left Nym, he felt lost. He was falling, and falling, and falling... he didn't had any support. He was ready to through his hands up, to walk away of everything but then he found his mother's notebook. He found it when he was moving to Jenna, it was an old book hidden in her closet. He never told Bastien, knowing that he'll do something stupid. When he found that book again, when he saw his mother's handwriting, he knew where to go. That night he was crying a lot, he never cryed before, not even when his mother died, or when his father beat him, or when Sebastien told him they're moving, or when he was sorted to Ravenclaw... he never cried.

As the time was passing, he persuaded himself that Nym was just an childhood love, though he never felt that way and he never belived in it. It was harder and harder, he missed her so much. There were times that he would go to Franch, hide behind her hous and watched her. She was broken.She'd be ok if she never met him, why is life so crule? 'She'll be good, she's the strong one.' with that words he would go. He never noticed that Adrien is dead, how did he missed it?
Her messages were the worst. He would listen to them all night, he knew them by heart. Every single of them.

So what? He lost his train. He had his chance. But he was right before, she was over him. Or at least he wanted to think so.



He blinked few times, to came back to the present. She was saying something and at first he didn't heard what she was saying. "I don't need your compassion." he said slowly "I'm glad you hate me Nymeria, becase knowing that you still have feelings for me, even if that's hate, makes me hating myself so muche that it hurts. And for what I did to you, I deserve worse than this." he thanked the waitress who brought them pies.

"Indeed we do. Have that issue, I fully trust only myself. And my brother. So when it comes to my family, I don't like talking about it even with him. I trusted you, but I was scared to let you in, one more issue. So yeah, I'm sorry that I didn't told you that. It wasn't trust issue, it was just me. I didn't lie bouth my job though. And about my feelings. I still love you, but you know that." he took a bite of the pie, he always loved them.

There she was, she broke him. He was about to explode. While he was looking at her he felt all his pain, all anger, love, fear... Make it stope, make it stop... he bite his lip, he never did that before, then closed his eyes just for a second. He open them before he spok.
"You have one more actually, I gave it to you. Did you forget it? That night when I kiss you first time, your laught when I said Nymeria incorectlly, and your smile when I gave you that nickname? Oh yes, I do remember. And maybe you should stop being so... so not you... and then maybe, just maybe you'll be able to see that you're not the only one hurt here." he did't really recognized his voice and in that moment he didn't really care. He take another bit than stood up "Enjoye your pie, Ny...meria." he wanted to say Nym, but he couldn't. He didn't knew her anymore, he loved her, her. Not this, whatever she was now. He loved Nym. While he was standing he let his walls up again. In the next moment the weakness was gone and he was himself again. He turned and headed towards the stairs.

Silence is towering above the table like an unwelcome guest. Just when words were most needed they keep silent, although the unspoken questions, accusations, all the things they wanted to say to each other were screaming out of their sight, their keeping, their conduct. They looked into each other, motionless, playing that stupid game, who will glanced away first and thus to admit the victory of the second. They were both good, not Nym nor Chris wanted to lose this fight, confess the guilt. Why would they when they are so good in accusing each other? Why waste all of that when they used all the effort to make the shuttle the ball from their part transferred into the opponent's? Tennis is a very hard and fatigue game, with that all punches and answers on punches, especially when you're playing it mentally. And now they are just a glance away from victory, winning imaginary tournament. The winner is the one who longer withstand. The loser gets second place, and second place is just a polite way to say 'You're not good enough.'
Nym fought hard to win, but she couldn't make it. His glance, it's just too much. She squeezed her teeth and sang the national anthem in her mind, but she couldn't stand it. She couldn't stop thinking about what Christian said to her shortly before. The blonde never met her mother, never seen her in person so she couldn't miss her alot, Nym thought that makes her a bad person. After all who don't miss their mother, except of her? She lost her dad too, but she was partly adult than, old enough to take care of herself. The blonde couldn't imagine what's the feeling when you find your mother dead in pool of blood. Especially when you're only eleven. When you're eleven parents meen anything to you, and their loss... She guess it makes you wanna die.

She never guessed Sebastien O'Sullivan is capebale of raising someone. Nymeria couldn't imagine him raising anybody, not even an animal. Nym always thought Chris' older brother is messed up, even a little insane. He was too moody to call him normal. Always wore black so he couldn't be noticable. Always watching everything, studying people as a scientific experiment, not very interesting one. He rarely spoke, but when he did he had his twisted opinion, you couldn't not agree with him but you couldn't agree either. The older O'Sullivan was a person you can't say no to, everything he says it seems so logical and make you look like bad person if you're thinking otherwise.
It's miracle Christian grew up so normal while having a brother like Sebastien.
If Christian was eleven when they found their mom dead, then Sebastien must be about fourteen then. And fourteen boy is still too young to raise two younger children, at least at most of cases, but Sebastien handle it pretty well. Maybe raising them was a thing that changed him. She could only guessing, but she wanted to meet their aunt Jenna. Nym knew Christian love her but she couldn't understand her. She thought she never will.

Nymeria remembered the most beautiful day in her life. Her fish died the day before and she was crying almost all they. When she told Christian what happen he disappeared on couple of hours. It was almost eleven am when he came back, carrying two tickets for Disneyland Park in Paris. Although she lived there all her life she have never been in Disneyland before. First she was too young for going there. Then when she grew up a little she had no one to go with her. She had no muggle friends, they were all scared of here, and all her friends from school lived to far away, didn't wanted to go, or been on holiday already, in somewhere else.
So she went to Disneyland for the first time when she was eighteen years old, with Christian, who was even older. Nym thought they're going to be the oldest there, but they weren't, there was even older people who were already retired. They went through all games they had. Drove in carousel sitting on a white horses of princess' carriage. Eating pink cotton candy while watching firework. Competing in shooting bottle, he won, of course, she missed all of them, hitting even seller, it was luck that the ball was rubber one. He won a huge teddy bear for her after winning in archery, she didn't even tried, taking into account the shooting ball fiasco, she was sure she would kill someone this time. They were laughing so much that it hurt her mouth.

"I'm glad." Nymeria smiled listening all the rest of his speech. How much the time it took from him to wrote it and train it? She wasn't sure but if she needed to guess – a lot. "I'm sorry, too, because you think you love me. It must be painful, isn't it? But the truth is – I don't think you ever loved me, Christian. Maybe you thought you do, but you didn't. You were just the same selfish bastard you've been then, only I noticed that too late, now. When the damage is done. And it's over." She looked at him, she was a little satisfied to see hurt in his eyes. Maybe he is going to understand how she felt now. Probably, won't, but it was worth to try. "I didn't have it, you can't live from memories, Christian, I learned that on harder way." She glanced away. Nym couldn't stand his gaze anymore. "Maybe I wasn't the only one hurt, but I was the only one who did not have the right to vote about your decision. You made it all by yourself, I suggest you to learn how to live with the consequences. It's your fault after all, you made me like that."

Nymeria sat calmly as he stand up. Here we are again. If she doesn't do something he'll leave, again. Nymcouldn't let that happen, but she couldn't do something either. She turned on her chair. "I'm glad that one thing hasn't changed after all this time." The blonde stop speaking waiting for him to stop. "You're still running away when it gets complicated."

He was resolute as he got up and walked towards the stairs. It took a lots of willing not to turned away, but he managed. Probably because he's already used to such things, many times he had to go and not look back. He used to leave the people he loves. He could not stand her answer, strongly wanted to turn around and to rebel. But what's the point? It would not change anything. Nym was stubborn, however he thought she had changed, as much as she believed she had changed, some things have remained intact. Her stubbornness, for example. She's always been like that, what she imagined it was not possible to prevent. If Nym believes that Christian had never loved her, he can not do anything. Maybe he can, but the real question is whether he wants. It is true that he did not have the strength to fight with her, especially not here in half full bar. They have already prepared a good show to many, Christian recognized some people. They were older wizards who were every night drinking rum or something like that. He didn't want them to watch him the next day, spreading the story of this performance. That's why he didn't turned when he passed their table. Nym is stubborn, but he was certainly worse. Thus the best, He tried to convince himself.

And he was right, so this way was the best. Nim doesn't believe that Christian ever loved her nor Christian believes that Nym no longer loves him. If she's over him, she wouldn't talk all this. Yes, she would be mad, but reasonable. Nym certainly didn't understood, she needed a reason to hate him but she could not find one. Christian knew it but he didn't wanted to admit it to himself. It was hard to watch that girl, remembering all the moments they spent together.
But as much as weakly and fragile she looked, she was strong. Time will pass and one day she will wake up, knowing that she no longer loves him. She'll be free and able to find someone who is worthy and who loves her. It may be difficult to trust him at first, but she will eventually relent. At the and she will fall in love and then they will probably get kids. She's young, there's time. Christian did not want a family, he was not ready for such things. That's right, at some point he will probably want a wife and kids, but it was not time yet. And he was young, he was only 24 years old. Marriage is not a Christian. He never understood these things, if the two loves each other, that's it, that's all that matters. A piece of paper with a stamp and some stupid ritual were the most irrelevant thing. Probably people just want to have fun and make circus of everything. Also, he believed that in marriage it's all downhill. Lovers start arguing, they probably fell regret. Maybe it wasn't like that at all, but he hasn't heard of a happy marriage yet. And maybe it all comes from the marriage of his parents, who were happy only in rare moments. They were happy when they were separated, but together they always seemed exhausted. They never really argued, or they did but Chris didn't knew.

He had just reached the stairs when he heard her voice again. First, he wasn't sure what she was saying, perhaps because he did not want to hear, or she was simply talking too quietly. However, it will be the first one. Something in her voice, a desire perhaps, or lust, something she didn't want to come to the surface, made him to stop. Do not look back, keep going. Even though he stopped for only two seconds, it seemed forever. He squeezed his fists, trying to stay calm and focused. She does not want him to leave, but does not want him to stay either. He wants to stay but he has to go. He can't stay.

He passed trough so much for her, rightfully, but it seemed that it's enough. Or so he thought. He could not stay there forever. The moment of truth was approaching, and he didn't know what to do.
Properly was to leave, as fast as he can. He could disappear again, to go to Austria to start a new life, change his name. He would never be found again.
But his heart was crying differently. He wanted to turn around and to go running up to her to hug her and never dropped her again.
Christian's mind has always been his best friend, and the first choice. That is why he sighed few times, letting his fists and head held high went to his room.

„Head in your plates, sniffers!“ Nym snapped furiously glaring at everyone who looked in their direction until they looked away. Why people wants to know everything? Every single tiniest thing that happens near them? Even when that's obviously not their business. Actually, especially then. She admitted to herself she was sorry now because of her reaction. Although they have no right to eavesdrop she also had no right to yell to them. Nymeria thought about apologizing, but no, she wouldn't. Once in her life she decided to be selfish. To choose herself over the others. Before she would always think on the others first, carefully deciding what will she say, or do, and she was too tired for that now.

Nymeria waited for Chris to stop, counting his steps. He would always stop so far. They could never be long angry to each other. Someone would always stop that, if not both at the same time.
Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen… She stoped counting. He would be on stairs already, if she properly assessed the distance. He won't stop, not this time. Nym held her breath and stood up. If she doesn't do something she'll loose him, again. She already loose all the people who ment something to her, all the one she cared about. Her dad, mom, even their houskeeper found a new job. They all left her, and now Christian's going to leave her, again.

She hurried after him and caught him by the arm, but she withdrew quickly. Nymeria studied him, for the last time and then turned away. „I…Nothing, keep going.“ The blonde ran into the night letting the tears she lingered so long.