The Perils of Gingers and Flesh-Eating Slugs

Since the accident, nothing had panned out quite the way it should have done. In hindsight, James knew that he had been wrong. When he’d been discharged he should have gone home. He should have gone back to basics, taken up in Godric’s Hollow or occupied one of the rooms in the Burrow that had long been evacuated by the children of Molly and Arthur. To either places he should have returned and gotten his wits together. Instead, though, he’d sold his flat and had rented one out in Islington, trying to start anew where perhaps he shouldn’t have done. He had declined his own reality and had attempted to forge for himself a new identity, one which had been battered at every twist and turn. What he’d failed to acknowledge was that perhaps he was needed. Perhaps, when he’d hidden himself he’d left behind people who needed him to be there for them. As if the guilt at failing to acknowledge Jack as his friend was not enough, he suddenly felt ill as she spoke of his siblings. He’d abandoned them.

“Was I…” James pursed his lips, already half-aware of the answer before he’d even finished forming the question. “Was I a good person, Jack? Before? I don’t think…I don’t think I spoke to Albus or Lily much.”

James fiddled with the signet ring on his left hand as he thought. All he’d wanted to do was be better. What he hadn’t consented to acknowledging was that perhaps his redemption would have been in repairing what he had left broken or had broken himself in his former life. All he’d done by hiding was make matters worse. How could he stride back into the lives of his siblings, or of his cousins? The shoes didn’t fit anymore. He wasn’t the late, great and disgraced James Potter. He was just this little researcher in the Department of Mysteries. He had no right to them anymore. Had he put in the effort, had he admitted his faults and tried, perhaps he would’ve been a part of their lives instead of talking to someone he didn’t know currently, looking for information about them through someone other than their persons.

“What, uh,” James’ eyebrows had furrowed and he looked at Jack. “What pressure? Is there something that I can do, maybe? Would he even want to see me?”

James highly doubted it. He rubbed at his nose, sighing heavily, and sat up a little straighter. There was only one thing to be done. He had to retrace his steps. He had to figure it out. He had to make it better again, no matter how reluctant he was to begin. He didn’t have a choice. He knew that there must have been a reason why he’d originally embraced the role of the Potter man that the media and the Wizarding world wanted him to take. It must have been – or, rather, he hoped that it was – to protect his siblings, to keep them safe. There really was nothing Gryffindor about him anymore. Only a coward would have stayed away for this long.

“And Lily Luna… would she want my help? Can I even help her? I mean, I know a little bit about Healing magic now and I am a fairly good at brewing and …” James bit his lip, rolling it briefly between his teeth before pressing on. “Is it too late now? I’m an idiot. I should’ve… I should’ve tried harder I shouldn’t have hid. I guess I was just scared… I mean, I’m still scared that I’m not… enough. I mean, am I workable with? Am I malleable enough to be some semblance of the bloke that I was without all of the rubbish bits? Can I earn them as me or do I have to… I don’t know. Can I earn you? Can I earn Freddie? I’m not James Sirius Potter in the sense you knew him but I’m … I’m him. I just…”

James closed his eyes and took his glasses off, twirling them by the arms between his fingers.

“I don’t really drink now,” he murmured gently. “But I would still like to keep you company.” He smiled a little and reached up, running his hand through his hair. “I’m here for you still – you know that, don’t you? Whatever it is. A good day, a bad one … a row with the other half or something, I dunno, whatever it is… I’m here. Can we be friends as I am and as you are now? Like, I still feel a bit like I’m still in St. Mungo’s disorientated and confused. I don’t know what I’m doing, Jack.”

Here came the hard questions. She was used to helping James avoid these hard questions by drinking with him or getting his anger out on a one-on-one scrimmage. Sure, she had always complained that he would be better off just facing the issues than taking Bludgers to the head, but sometimes friends just needed to shut up and let you be. Life was hard enough without having an ally to help you forget about your problems for a little bit. Jack had become that friend to James Potter, so she would stay that way. But now... what was the point? It was much better to tell him the wrongs he now had the ability to right.

Jack looked long and hard at James, carefully taking him in. She knew her answer, but she was not sure how to tell this new man. This timid man. This meek man who had none of the vices of the old James Potter. "James... I don't know much about you now, but I could venture to say you are a good man. You were a good man before... before this, and I'm sure you still are. You made mistakes but..." she searched for her words, "but shit, who hasn't? You had your criticisms but of the friends who loved you best... you didn't lose a single one." She gave him a bracing smile.

He asked after his siblings, a subject that made Jack more uncomfortable. For obvious reasons, the subject of Albus Potter made her skittish, mostly because she just wanted things to be normal for the two of them. They were getting there - they were both coming to the conclusion that it was all for the best that they were nothing more than they were, that they were much better suited for friendship. They had not quite found a rhythm for that yet. And Lily did not seem to want anyone to look after her.

Jack shrugs. "Just... y'know. Potter pressure. To live up to the family name. That was sort of your forte, where Albus was always too quiet, too bookish, too not... you. And then you disappeared, and he was supposed to be man of the house or whatever, and he had to deal with Lily... It's just the usual. I think he thought it might be easier without your shadow, but he's not really fond of being in the limelight either." It was odd how it all worked out, but the very problem that James had caused for Albus could be fixed by his return. Oh... Albus was going to be irritated by this turn of events. James awkwardly stumbling in to save the day.

She wanted to inform him of Lily, but he was soon steamrolling her with questions full of doubt and concern. She shook her head and said, "Look. Lily is your sister. She's going to have to accept that one way or another. She doesn't really want anyone's help right now, but that doesn't mean you can't give her help anyway. And it's not too late, and if it was... you can hardly help that can you? Look, don't worry about us. We took you for better or for worse, in arrogance and in..." she gestured strangely at him, "this."

She took in a deep breath, rolling it in her mouth, releasing it through her body. "You don't need to know what you're doing. Just... you be you, and I'll be me, and we'll see how we all do."

((Sorry it's sucky, I'm super stressed right now))

( OOC: Sorry it's short and poo. :'( )

The right outcome would come from making the right choices and though the guilt would never fully subside, one way to soothe it would be to try and make things better with his siblings and with those who were meant to be his friends. He could do that, he was sure, but it would take time.

Everything had taken time for a man who had been so used to a quick fix. Even now he wanted instant gratification and he was loathe to wait on anything in the most time consuming job a wizard could take. He wanted to walk back into Albus and Lily’s lives and for everything to be right again.

He wasn’t naïve, though. He knew that it wouldn’t be that easy, regardless of however much he wanted it to be.

“Would there be a way to meet them, do you think? With me keeping my head that is,” James smiled wryly and rose from his seat, retrieving the newspaper from the floor. He folded it back up and dropped it down on the chair before placing his hands on his hips.

“Come and have lunch with me, will you?” He asked with a bright smile. “And I want to hear everything. Well, what you want to tell me… but yeah.” His smile turned bashful. “Uhm, if you want. Are you really busy? I just think, maybe, it’d be nice to catch up, eh?”

((Never apologize, you're perfect.))

Jack did not know what a full Potter reunion would look like, except that it would be rough. She knew that Lily was still transistioning back into home life, and that Albus was trying harder to be apart of his sister's life and trying to be better in general. In simple terms, it sounded like the family was back on a path towards love and healing, but Jack knew that it was more complicated than all of that. She knew that there was still so much to be worked on, that though everyone was safe and warm, they were still in danger and cold.

His request was a loaded gun. If she honored it, she could very well piss off the other two Potters. But as she looked at her friend, she could not help but think f*ck it. She knew that, in the end, they all needed to talk anyway. Even if it was to decide not to bug each other, they needed it to be decided amongst them once and for all. And they needed to know that James was safe, and that he did not abandon them because he just did not want to be apart of the family anymore. The whole family needed a nice big dose of truth right about now.

"I can just... take you there. One of these days. When you're ready." She shrugged, as though it wasn't a big deal. As though she had not told Albus that she was going to take a step back and remind herself that she had no reason to just involve herself anymore. Ah well. You could not be on the good side of all of the Potters at the same time. It wasn't possible. But you could be a friend to them all.

She smiled at his offer for lunch. She stood as well, saying, "I could do lunch. It 'd be nice to... reintroduce ourselves, if you will." She looked at the secretary. "Deb, could you make sure Fred gets his present? "

There was something in the body language of the woman before him that made James wonder whether his desire was one that he should have thought about before voicing it. Granted, it was a subject that had kept him awake more nights than not but he still didn’t know whether it was an idea worth pursuing or not. He didn’t want to walk away, sure in the fact that he could never talk to them again. He would have rather not bothered. Perhaps he’d been an idiot in asking. He supposed he had. But now he’d made his mind up, told someone who could tell Albus and Lily. He would have rather it all been on his own terms than them coming to him out of anger.

Swallowing, James shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” he shrugged. “Any time.”

James whipped a smile up onto his face when lunch became an affirmative event and he extended an arm, something in the back of his mind warning him he’d probably get a punch planted there rather than another arm curled around it. He retracted it after a moment and leapt ahead with a wide stride. James then turned and sent a smile in the direction of the secretary before walking out into the hall with Jack.

“So, where d’you wanna go?” he asked, falling into step with the redheaded witch.

His redheaded witch. His friend. An old friend. A missed friend.

((I asked Kiera about starting the Potter reunion thread!))

James was ready, sure – he did not remember what his family was like. Jack dearly loved them, of course she did, but she was not so certain that the sentiment was actually reciprocated. If she showed up at Albus’ house, there was no guarantee that he would answer the door, or that he would not pretend not to be there. The pair had made steps toward healing their odd relationship, but Jack could not be certain that it was enough, that they were indeed the friends and partners in crime they had started to become once upon a time. So, even if James was ready, she could not be certain that she was ready.

Jack would not call it a failure of courage, but an awakening of tact. She was, after all, delivering a bombshell. She had to make sure she would be well suited for the challenge. She did not want to fail James because she had not mentally prepared for the confrontation that might come. Worse than sticking around for the reunion would be dropping James off and running from the fray. She would have to find some middle ground.

James offered her an arm and her intitial reflex was to hit it or bump it with her shoulder. She restrained herself, but fortunately did not need to hold it in too long. This James was a much quicker learner than the one prior.

She quickly fell into stride with him, grinning back at the secretary who was eyeing the plant with a bit of fear. The door was soon behind them, with lunch before them.

"Anywhere. Sparks. The Leaky. Anywhere I can get a burger."