Inspired from the Evil Overlord list. Because every baddie in the world bloody needs it. XD
The Baddie List, or the Promises to Take if I Were A Dark Lord/Villain Or Someone Else With Sufficiently Evil Characteristics:
1. I MUST NOT GLOAT. If I have strong gloating tendencies, I shall express them in the privacy of my bedchambers, or in front of my evil minions. Not just when I'm about to defeat the hero.
2. After I have captured the hero, no matter how strong the temptation, I shall not narrate my evil plan to him. Rather, I shall behave reasonably, and shoot him immediately.
3. I shall remember at all times that I have a brain. Ergo, I SHALL NOT include a self-destruct button in my ship/castle/hideout of doom. If including a self-destruct button is absolutely unavoidable, then I shall make sure its not a big, red button labelled "DO NOT PUSH" XD
4. If there is an All-Hail-Weapon-Of-Destruction that can kill me, I shall not protect it with the best security in the world (which the hero ends up breaking anyway -_- ). Rather, I shall have it destroyed the moment I'm informed of its existence.
5. I shall check on all pieces of soul/One Ring to Find Them All,One Ring to Bind Them and any other item whose destruction might lead to my untimely demise, regularly; instead of conveniently forgetting about their existence until the second before the hero destroys them (*cough* Horcruxes *cough* LOTR *cough*)
6. When I hear of any prophecies prophecizing my imminent death, since I am so powerful and scary and awesome
, I shall send a flunky to kill the pesky prophecy baby instead of proceeding there myself.
7. When, and if the hero enters my hideout, I shall order everyone in the entire frickin' place to attack him at once, instead of letting them stand dimly in a circle, attacking him in ones and twos. Most importantly, I shall never ever scream saying: "LEAVE HIM TO ME!!!"
8. When I kill a person, I shall make sure to eliminate all younger brothers/sisters/sons/daughters. They have an annoying tendency of coming after you for revenge.
9. When my evil plan finally triumphs and the hero is at my mercy, I shall ignore all codes of honour which tell me to give the idiot a weapon and a last chance to fight.
10. I shall not have any sons. They have an annoying way of trying to usurp your position. I shall not have any daughters. They have an even more annoying way of falling in love with the hero -_-
11. If by any chance the tables are turned on me, I shall immediately run to my safety exit/parachute. I shall certainly not stare at my crumbling hideout in horror and exclaim: "NOOOOIES!!! THIS CANNOT BE!!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!"
12. Last, and most importantly, I shall not cackle evilly after plotting the hero's demise. It makes you look like a deranged idiot. After all, a Dark Lord/Baddie's reputation is everything