The Pilot Episode of 'Poe and McDonald: Roommates'

Today was the day.

Jack had actually gotten up at a decent time. She only slept in when she knew she really had the chance too. She had already done her daily work out (always prepared to take the Falmouth Falcons up on their recruitment offer), let the animals out, fed them, arranged the shifts at Weasley's, and eaten her breakfast. She had considered allowing him to show up while she was still asleep. To see a grumpy, tired, messy-haired Jack with a hoarse just-woke-up voice... Well... She would have one that bet.

Instead, she already had her stereo blasting. The mix CD was currently projecting You Making MY Dreams Come True by Hall and Oates as she brushed her teeth. She could smell her eggs burning but that was fine... Until she smelt the bacon burning. She spit out the toothpaste in her mouth and straightened up immediately.

Not the bacon.

She ran downstairs, running through the short hall that only contained three rooms. A room that had been for any visitors (never used of course), her own, and a tiny little studio office, barely bigger than a closet. (okay. It was a closet.) Downstairs, she passed the main bathroom, the living room, and hurried into her kitchen. Everything in her house was not new, and while messy, she did not have much, nor was it too dirty. The only thing that looked like trouble was a blue striped ottoman named Mongo that was chasing after her sock-clad feet.

She quickly saved the bacon, but the eggs were pretty black. She dropped the eggs into Fred's bowl and the Jarvey immediately investigated. She walked back to the living room and pulled her shoes on, as though she had something to get ready for.

This was new to her.

For three months, Nemo had endured the disadvantages of residing on a daily basis within The Source; his business which consisted of a makeshift tent located in a wood on Hogsmeade’s edge. With little complaint he had woken each morning to the creak of angry joints and the twinge of pinched nerves as a result of his having slept upon a haphazardly crafted pile of throw pillows and bean bags. He had outlasted the rain, which had a canny knack for creeping past the defensive spells that he’d cast over the tent and had frequently drenched him in the midst of achieving a comfortable buzz, or otherwise attempting to reach contentment. Nemo had fought off the creatures of the forest which had taken up a particular interest in him. And he had drudged each morning through the mud-sopping forest to Hogsmeade’s train station, so to travel to the Ministry of Magic to report for duty.

But three months; 12 weeks; 84 days had broken Nemo and had driven him towards his favorite clown companion in search of a more achievable accommodation. The likes of who had surprised Nemo with her enthusiastic agreement, which had been shortly followed by the placement of a bet. Aye, the bet; that which Nemo believed himself more than capable of winning without any effort made and heavily looked forward to beholding the results of.

A torn and beaten duffel slung over his left shoulder and his turntable stowed away neatly in the case which he gripped in his right hand, Nemo jumped the stairs of Jack’s porch and halted before her door. The assault that had been made on his senses in the manner of a wall being thrown forcefully against his face elicited from him a wild grin and a warm collection of chuckles. Burnt bacon and rock ballads, he identified the forces at work on his mood and decided upon the method with which he would make his presence known to his hostess at once.

He began to sing in his infamous, helium-high voice, calling to the woman whose attention he sought:
“'Cause You make my dreams come true
I'm down on the daydream
That sleepwalk should be over by now
I know that You make my dreams come true!”

Jack had just finished scooping the charred remains of the eggs into Fred and Elliot’s food dishes, struggling to ignore the face that Mongo was attempting to eat her socks straight off of her feet. She hopped from foot to foot to evade the hungry mongrel of an ottoman. As she moved the bacon that wasn’t too incinerated to a plate, she reached into her pocket to pull out the spare sock she always kept to distract Mongo with out, when her ears were suddenly assaulted by a new voice.

Elliot, in his favored white Irish wolfhound form, lept to his feet and bristled cautiously, intelligent eyes trained on the door. Fred, meanwhile, let loose a string of cursewords and other swears. In the confusion, Mongo succeeded in biting off the heel of Jack’s sock, devouring it without her notice. She was busy hurrying out of the kitchen, through the living room, and towards the front door to notice the insanity surrounding her. Besides, she was much to used to it.

She threw open the door, and revealed Poe, having just finished the last note of the refrain. Jack grinned up at him and managed to say, “Hi!” She was suddenly bowled over by an anxious ottoman intent on sniffing out new socks. She barely stayed upright by grabbing onto the door frame, before she hurried forward, seizing Mongo. “No! Bad Mongo! Leave Poe’s socks alone!” She withdrew the spare sock and waved it before the ottoman before tossing it further into the house. Mongo chased after it, and Fred lept onto the ottoman for the ride.

She looked back at Poe and announced, “Welcome to the zoo! Come on in!”

Weasel tossed and turned within the hood of Nemo's jacket, his curiosity evident when a familiar, yet notably different tantrum of curses was thrown behind the door that remained before them, acting as a shield between the pair and the chaos that undoubtedly awaited them inside. "Da fck?" The jarvey inquired as it nipped insistently at Nemo's ear, an assault to which he promptly responded with a backwards swat thrown in the creature's general direction. "Stop doing that, Ferret!" Nemo commanded, which did little to calm the jarvey, due to his loathing of the many nicknames that Nemo had assigned him.

"Wuzzup?!" Nemo returned the greeting that he had been offered, only to hastily retrieve the air that he had spent on the word in a gasp of surprise when he was introduced to a creature quite unlike anything he had encountered in his lifetime. "Jack," Nemo's tone was one of poorly suppressed panic as he jumped and scuffled his feet in an attempt to free his boots from harm. "Is that a footrest, trying to eat my feet?" In preparation for his decision to kick the thing he drew his leg back - only to watch as it hastily retreated indoors.

With wide eyes, Nemo looked up from the ground to meet Jack's gaze as Weasel climbed aboard his shoulder. And there was a moment of silence during which Nemo and his jarvey simply stared at Jack, before Nemo abruptly belted the following line, "Old McDonald had a farm!" And into said farm, he sprang.

Jack could hear the unmistakable signs of a Jarvey companion and grinned. Fred, though rescued from other Jarveys at the Ministry, had rarely ever been other animals in general, let along his own species. He was quite happy to run amok with Mongo, as the ottoman was rather brainless and loved the mischief Fred let him too, and he liked to be parented and protected by Elliot, who could go as far to become a great hulking wolf and scare away hungry hawks. A new Jarvey would be fun.

As Jack tried to restrain Mongo, she could not help but laugh at the panic incited in Poe at being attacked by a sock-craven blue striped ottoman. "Not your feet, your socks," Jack said. "I should have mentioned that, huh? Mongo does need a sock donation, so I suggest you pick up a pack of argyle socks the next time your out to bribe him against future attacks." She smirked knowingly. "You seemed a little unnerved. This bet might be over sooner than it started."

For a moment the two newcomers stared at her, and she thought she might actually have won the bet- but maybe too well. Could it be she already lost her new roommate? But before the oddly approaching sadness could hit her, Poe burst into song and entered, leaving Jack to laugh and close the door behind him.

She turned and said, "So this is the living room." She pointed to the connected open space that was the kitchen. "There's the kitchen. There's a door there that leads to the side yard that goes around back. Tell Weasel he can use that door to go do his business. The kitchen is also where, as you might have guessed, I ruin every meal I attempt to make." She moved towards the stairs and pointed out the bathroom door. "I was going to make you do your business outside too, but you can use that. And your room is up here." She led the way upstairs, calling a tease over her shoulder, "Hurry before Mongo gets your toes!"