Regret

Chase looked at Jack and sighed, stomping out her cigarette on the ground, and leaning her head back against the bench. How often did Chase look like this? Not very that was for sure... Sure she might cry.. sure she might look foolish.. a lot. But it was very rarely she looked relaxed... sitting on a bench with Jack Dyllan, a still slightly burning cigarette at her feet, and a bottle of wine between the two. Memories flooded her system that she quickly pushed away from her, her eyes staring up at the sky, when suddenly someone appeared in front of them.. that man... Chase slowly pushed herself into a better sitting position, and stared at him.

"Do you not think.. that you've done enough damage?" She asked, her eyes locked on his for a moment, before looking down at her feet, and rubbing her toe into the burnt out cigarette on the ground. Chase glanced at Jack, and decided she had no say in this... it wasn't her battle to fight anyway, but still... this man... she had met some evil people in her life, and at this point, he was pretty high up on her list, one that included Felix Barker, and Nerezza. She wasn't very happy to say the least. "I just... don't like seeing people get hurt.. deliberately, by someone who everyone thought was good." She said, looking up at him, and glaring daggers. If looks could kill, this one would have. Make him for real dead, instead of fake dead. "Well... at least I hadn't heard any different to you being not good... but obviously if you could do THAT to someone... what else are you capable of?" She asked, and puffed out her chest.

Chase wasn't the biggest girl around, and puffing out her chest didn't do much.. in fact it was almost comical, the way she tried to make herself look fierce.. which in a way she did. Scars crossed her face, one eye was messed up completely (She could barely see through it at all), and her hair was cut short and jagged, and at that point seemed to be standing on end, as she took in this man. She had never really met him, she heard he had a wand shop somewhere, but she had gotten her wand from France (Blame her parents), and had never gone to him... so who was he? She had no idea.. He had worked for the school a while, but Chase rarely paid attention to school... though she had gotten some good scores, her memory was fuzzy of the last few years, and she couldn't even remember her teacher's names... So this man.. she didn't know what authority he had over her.. but she was angry, and had every right to be.. she didn't understand why Jack wasn't.

Jack looked up as Thaor approached and then he stopped. She scoffed and rolled her eyes at his words, grabbing the neck of the bottle, but simply pulled the bottle into her lap, cradling it between her locked fingers, staring at the label. Chase started in on Thaor but Jack did not really care about what was happening between the two of them..

She was remembering the day Elliot had gotten her a camera. Late birthday present. She proceeded to chase him around the apartment, taking pictures. He played along at first, jumping on the bed, striking poses. Then he got tired of it and started hiding, so she would sneak around to a hiding place, click, and he would take off again. Then she begged him to take her somewhere. They ended up exploring the woods behind his apartment complex and they found this cool old barn and explored. When theyreturned home, Elliot had collapsed and fallen asleep... like the lame guy he was. And Jack had taken pictures of that. Because when he was asleep, he was even more perfect than he was awake, and to Jack, Elliot's flaws were fat and few. He was the one person in her family who she could just sit next to and be comfortable with. And be happy with. She never acted like anything other than herself around Elliot. And now he was dead.

Chase was trying, she really was. Chase's one problem with dealing with Jack, is she tried to be the strong one when Jack seemed upset. What she failed to realize, was Jack was still playing tough girl. She was still refusing to acknowledge the existence of tear ducts, she was still refusing to let herself feel anything, because she was sure if she did.. it would destroy her this time.

"Stop," she said in a soft voice, almost directed to herself, though it was directed at everyone in the clearing. "What's happened between any of us is small. I can get over it. In time, I'll be angry I'm sure. But how can I be angry that someone is alive, when my cousin is dead?" She raised the bottle to her lips, knowing a bunch of sympathy was coming her way, and she'd need to be much drunker to survive it.

Thaor looked into Chase's eyes before she looked away. You must not know who I am very well Ms. Moor. There are only two people in this world that believe I'm a 'good guy'. Robert Lupin, and Michael Tremaine. Both of whom, knew me before my...run in with the Death Eaters. Thaor said, ignoring the fact that Chase was puffing her chest out. Now was not the time to be rude.

I did what I had to, Jack happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time. For this, I apologize. I can guarantee no harm will be done to you Jack. At least, no further harm. Robert Lupin knows I am alive, and has called off the search for you. Michael told him you were innocent from the start, but you know how that goes. They had to have some sort of search for you, as you were the only one there. Thaor finished, before falling silent once more.

Chase was angry, and pretty much upset with everything right now. But when Jack told her to stop, she immediately turned to her, and then backed off, her eyes glaring at the man in front of her. But when Jack said something about her cousin, Chase immediately turned to her. "Jack? Your... your cousin died?" She asked, her eyes wide. Not sure what to do. Jack wasn't the kind of person to want comforted, but.. Chase's mothering instincts were blown into full action. She wanted to hug Jack to her, and sit with her as she let it out.. to bad Jack didn't let it out.. and so it threw Chase off.

"Jack.. when did it happen?" She asked, pretending Thaor wasn't there for a while. Her eyes fixed on her best friend. "What.. happened?" She asked, ringing her hands together. Jack... why didn't she cry? Why didn't she let it out?! Why couldn't Chase help? Was it all her fault... was it because of what she had done, ruined their friendship... ruined any chance they had to be friends again. Chase stared straight at Jack, and didn't know exactly what else to say though.. and she found her hand itching towards her cigarettes, but she resisted and waited for Jack to talk to her.

Thaor spoke to her about ensuring her safety and she nodded numbly, at this point not really caring for her own safety, though it had been long ago she had stopped caring. There were other people who needed to survive besides herself, people could do better things, and her job was to ensure their survival. She knew Elliot could have done great things if he had just straightened himseld out, and all she had needed to do was clean and fix him up and help him survive and it would be okay. But she had messed that up. She had let the battle happen, and had let people die, and now she had let her cousin die.

"Loan sharks were after him. He was murdered by a Death Eater though.. The authorities think it's Ne'Os Emof. If it is.. I'm going to murder him," she said, a venom in her voice that Jack rarely had. She was mean, yes, she was rotten, yes.. But evil she was not, and her voice was close. Her green eyes were shrouded by alcohol and darkness, and she gripped the bottle of her wine to the point where it was near shattering.

"He was all I had left of my family. You are who your family is. Now I'm nothing. No parents, no brother, they won't accept me as blood. Chip is gone, abandoned me, left me, probably dead. And Elliot.. I let him die and now I'm going to go to Askaban when I kill Emof." She shook her head, stating this all matter of factly, as though there was no argument.

A small smile layed itself across Thaor's face as Chase ignored him. It was funny really, it was obvious she desperately wanted Jack to confide in her. Why Jack wouldn't oblige, was also obvious to him. She was too 'proud' and too 'strong' to have a breakdown. To have to admit to anyone she was weak. She was very much like a young Thaor, and that is why Thaor decided he would help her.

Jack, you are not nothing. You are a brilliant young mind. You will go far in life. If your family wrote you off. Then are they really the kind of people you need around you? I know, it's hard to swallow. It's nice to have family there. But you need to build your own family now, a family of friends who will always be there no matter what. After my sixth year, I was virtually alone. After my father killed my siblings and my mother. I had no one, I decided I'd have to build my on little 'family' so to say. It consisted of Robert, Michael, and Jess. While Jess was more distant, Michael and Robert stuck with me through everything. That's what you need Jack. Build your own little family. Thaor said with a shrug.

Jack shrugged at Thaor's words. "I have people around me, but Elliot was a part of that." She was the last of his roots- they were all they had. She was his only survivor and now she had none to speak of. Had she not been so drunk, she would have recognized the information he was giving her about himself and she would have stored it away to think about it lately. But she was wallowing, for once, she was letting herself drown and not bothering to flail or try to pull herself out.

Sometimes, the best thing to do was to drown.

"Elliot was my last connection to my blood. To what I was before all this sh!t. Elliot was the last one who really knew me, before I become terrible. Before I became nothing. And now he's gone, he won't come back." She swigged more of her drink.