Finding Femininity

"Come along, then," Robert said, taking Angus into Brian's office. Brian could barely contain himself now. They knew. Someone had hurt Khaat, and damnit, they already knew who it was. It was his house, his fiancee, and he was going to find out what they knew. For Robert's eyes only? Horseshit. He started to head for the office, limping badly now with his one crutch. Kicking the wall had not helped.

Upstairs, Khaat's powers were working overtime. She felt massive rage from someplace. Uncontrollable amounts of rage. Either one person out of control completely, or several people who almost were. It pulled at her hard, even through her father's sedative. She hurt, too. That didn't help. She truly was in pain. She barely remembered that she was home, but the bed felt familiar. It wasn't the alley, wasn't the pavement.

She woke slowly, the sedative weighing heavily in her system. It made her vision foggy, and she wasn't certain of what she was seeing. She thought she saw Jess there, but that wasn't possible. Why Jess? Why would she dream of Jess? And why now?

"Where...am I?" she picked her words carefully. She felt filthy, and her mouth was parched and dry. She wanted to shower and never get out again. She wasn't sure she and Brian owned enough soap to take away the dirt. Not this time.

Jess looked at Khaat as she spoke " shush, its ok Khaat , your home " she said softly she closeing off her seers ability and smiled to her " we found you Khaat , jack and I " she brushed her hair from her face lightly "your safe here " she said poring ome water she sat her up a little as she let her drink some, before placing the glass back down beside her . Jess sat bauck down and watch brushing her hair to one side as she watched her feeling a sense of fear and being dirt all natrual reactions. " Khaat its not your fault stop blaming yourself , your stronger than that and you know it " she said moving to hold her hand and smiling .

"Brian..." her thoughts went to Brian immediately. "Please...don't tell him." She did not ever want to see in Brian's eyes that perhaps she was not as worthy to him as she had been before. "Don't tell him....Don't tell Daddy...." The water was heavenly and icy cold. It let her know that it was real. It had all been real. The water was real, and that made Jess real.

She was home? Home? It slowly began to sink in. Maybe Brian already knew. Her fear began to rise up inside her. What would he think? Of her? Would he blame her for going off alone? For being in an alley by herself? That was her fault, but did she deserve this? Would he think so?

"Daddy warned me...told me not to go...I just wanted to be out for awhile. Why was that so wrong?...." Her thoughts began to race, her fear began to escalate. What if her father blamed her too? What if it got out and became public? What if the stupid papers picked it up and published it? They seemed to notice everything else.....

Jess felt the wirlwind of thoughts spining around and looked at khaat her hand sholding her cheeks "Khaat stop it right now , do you hear me , nobody is blaming you for anything but you, now stop this and relax thats an order from me as your freind " she said looking at her in her eyes and smiled " nobody will know jack and I found you and brought you right here and we're your freinds and are going to tell nobody , brian is your soul mate and he will defend you as will we all now stop this once and for all, I didn't come back from jefferys just to have you fall flat on your face now come on pull it to gether Khaat ." she said hoping make her realise she spoke the truth.

Khaat nodded, her eyes fluttering shut again. "Brian knows? she asked

Brian entered, as if perfectly on cue. He had wanted to break into Robert's meeting with Angus, but his heart was upstairs with Khaat instead. He came in and sat down on his side of the bed. "Stay," he told Jess, figuring her impulse would be to leave.

"I know, Khaat," Brian said to her, taking her hand. He kissed her hand softly. "Nobody has that right. Nobody. It's not your fault. Khaat, listen to me. I'm not going anywhere. We're going to do this together..."

"Daddy," she remembered now that he had been here. He had tended her. "He knows. He already knows...."

"Yes. He knows. And its alright. He had every right to know. And you needed his help. Its alright. Enough now. Rest. Don't try to take this all in at once. Khaat, tell me one thing. Who did this? Who did this to you?" She shook her head. She didn't want him running off after Luther Burke. Burke wasn't worth it. She didn't want to lose any more at Burke's hands. "Khaat, I'm not going after anybody. But we need to know. Who was it?" Her grip on his hand tightened. He sighed heavily. "Alright. Enough for now. Go back to sleep." He soothed her back into a sound sleep.

Jess had started to rise when she heard him sat she was to stay and she sat back down with a soft smile she didn't speak but let him do it all knowing it would be better if he did ste wondered why she was stil there she could do little while she slept but make sure Khaat's thought stayed focused on her family ad nothing else.

"Brian why did you want me to stay, I could have waited out side the door ?" she asked softly noticing Khaat had fallen asleep "wouldn't you prefer this time for the two of you?" she said looking at him then at Khaat .

"No," Brian said. "I wanted her to know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. And that we're all here for her. I don't want her to feel like she has to hide from anyone. I'll have time with her later, when she's more awake. Then it will feel a lot more real to her. That's when she might want a few moments alone. She's been spending a lot of her time and energy trying to shut her feelings away from everyone--especially where any negative thoughts are concerned. I want her to know that we're in it with her, good or bad."

The room fell silent for a moment, and Brian recognized it was Robert coming back. He looked up to see Robert in the doorway. Brian knew that look. Robert was up to speed. And it wasn't good. "Just tell me," Brian said.

Robert drew out his handout of his pocket. He opened it, and in his hand, he had the shards of her wand in his hand. Brian shut his eyes, sighing deeply. "Angus investigated thoroughly," Robert said quietly. "He's turned in evidence photographs. You should know--I am sure she used everything she ever learned to try to defend herself. She didn't make it easy..."

"It wasn't enough, was it?" Brian retorted angrily in an angry whisper, trying not to wake her. "I should have been there!"

"Brian," Robert said. "Every piece of evidence we have points to Luther Burke."

"I'll kill him....." Brian raged.

"Son," Robert said, his hand on Brian's shoulder. His words were deliberate. "Look at me. Listen to what I'm tellling you. I will kill Luther Burke. I promise you. He will die, but you are needed here. Nothing--nothing is more important that you and Khaat--and you two raising my granddaughters. You have another job now. My family. You leave the revenge to me."

"You can't ask me to stay out of this, Robert," Brian said.

"I can," Robert said very calmly, "And I am. I want you to devote yourself to Khaat. Nothing else." Brian snatched the wand slivers out of his hand.

"Look at this! You want me to stand by and do absolutely nothing? You cannot be serious!"

"Do I look like I'm not?" Robert asked gently.

"So tell me the rest."

"Angus found a lot of blood, some fabric scraps, And part of that really ugly red ascot that prat wears."

"That paisley thing?"" Brian curled his lip in distaste. "I hate ascots."

"The same."

"I'll kill him."

"No. You won't. You will stay with Khaat--protect her. Take care of her. Don't ever let her forget she is loved. That's what you'll do."

"Is that an order?" Brian asked sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact, it is," Robert said. "Get used to it."

Jess sat with him quietly thinking as he spoke and smiled she stil held Khaats hand in her own she understood brians words right now negative thoughts and feelings were not what Khaat need . What she needed was love reasurance and positivity . she stood up as Robert entered feeling his anger but supressed deep inside him . Jess looked down at Khaat.

"I would not have expected anything less from you. " she said softly to her as she sat back down with her , she focused on Khaat filtering out negativity and surrounding her thoughts with positve ones. Jess looked at them both as she sturned to face them.

"Gentelmen,your negativity belongs out side of this room" she siad " Right now she needs love care and positvity not anger and raging testosterone , calm down or leave the room " she spoke how and what she felt .

"You're right, Jess," Robert said. "Completely. We're just angry, but you're right. It doesn't belong here. Oh, Jess. She had put in at least a 36 hour shift at St. Mungos before this. She was going to Herrods to get herself a change of clothes so she could keep going. I think she felt like shopping rather than coming home and changing. Truth be told, I think she wanted to be able to go out by herself and be safe. She hasn't eating in almost 3 days. She hasn't had time. She's been living on coffee. We need to also be going back to taking care of the basics too. Sleep, food, love, rest...The rest will come. Brian, come on and let her rest. I have work for you to do."

"You said my work was here."

"Stop sassing and come with me," Robert said to him. Brian followed Robert out, sighing. He hadn't been told to stop sassing since he was about 16. But here it was resurfacing.

Jess looked at Robert and smiled " then she needs nutrishion and rest all of which she can get here , I will stay with her till she is better " she looked at brian then walked over to him " get your knee looked at , its inflamed and angry" she said her hand touched his shoulder and she felt his pain like a snake wrapped round his knee slowly she closed her eyes and drew it away like pulling it into her self and holding it there .

"That should hold you for now " she looked at Robert "Jeffery descovered a few things about me I didn't even know " she smiled and moved back to Khaat brushing her hair from her face and looking down at her.