To Hell and Back

Jess frowned as she turned to face Khaat standing jess headed for the kitchen "Im on it Kate " she walked back out with the tea and handed it to her "this will make you feel better , its not a good aRobert makes but its as close as I can get it" she said and stood waiting hoping it would do her some good.

Jack moved to Jess and took her hand "come on, stop the seer thing you do" he siad "she will be ok she has kate " he said taking her to a chair and sitting down .

Jess chuckled and held his hand tight "ok dear , but you know I can't just turn it off , doesn't work that way"

Khaat took the mug from Jess. She didn't even know how to say thank you for a simple tea without her words. "Thank you," Brian found the words for her. He always knew. He got up and went over to Khaat.

"Let me, Kate," he said. He came between Khaat and Kate and put one hand on either side of her head. She felt him drawing off the pain from her head. She felt her eyes filling with tears. The first she'd been tempted to shed since she'd been back. She couldn't look up, her eyes staring into her cup. She simply blinked back the tears and sipped silently on her tea.

She felt Brian's frustration as he realized in the fraction of a second, how very close she'd come to not being able to hold all that inside anymore. How close it had come to escaping past her defenses. And then, at the last possible second, she'd reeled it back in tightly again out of her own terror. He sighed heavily and kissed her forehead very softly. She felt all his great love for her. This was pushing it for him. She was afraid she was going to lose him. The terror of that ran deep for her.

"Get some rest before we eat," his soft voice came to her. "Drink you tea. It will help." She nodded. "Thanks, Jess," Brian told her. "Seer's stress. You know what that's like, I'm sure."

Jess smiled at Khaat "your welcome" she said loking from Brian to Khaat as she held jack watching she felt it all and knew what was hapening inside Khaat , she knew time would let her soon enouph let it out whitch is what Khaat needed but right now she was holding it and that was not good. She nodded to Brain when he mentioned seers stress "yes I do, all to well , rest is good you'll fell tons better trust me, im sure we'll all under stand, won't we jack " she said.

Jack looked at Khaat and then at jess and nodded "sure, rest is important, jess was out for several days when she had it" he said

Kate called them when lunch was ready, and Brian coaxed Khaat into eating some salad. Khaat liked Asian Chicken Salad. Particularly Lizzie's. She had a fondness for the dressing. She wasn't overly hungry, but she did truly try. She actually pushed herself to eat more than she was comfortable with. Until she was very very full.

She made herself get busy after lunch and cleaned up all the mess from lunch and form making cookies. And without her magic, she had to do it all by hand. Every spoon, every fork, every dish. It was good therapy for her. It made her focus on something else.

After she made it to clean up the kitchen, she went back in and sat down, suppressing an urge to start some deep fall cleaning, muggle style. She knew Brian wouldn't agree to it. She was just staring to fade off into a light doze, when she felt her father's hand on her cheek.

He was up, showered, changed, looking well rested and like he felt a lot better. "I didn't mean to wake you," he said softly. "You're pushing a bit, arent' you?" She just looked at him. She didn't know how to get her life back without pushing forward.

"Not too much, huh?" he asked. She shook her head, promising she would try to do whatever he asked. "Anything you want to do this afternoon?" he asked her. Shopping. She wanted to get her life back. She wanted to force herself out of the house. Perhaps she needed to go shopping. She looked at Jess, hoping that Jess's seer's abilities picked up on it.

Jess loked over at Khaat and smiled "hey why don't we go shopping later, I know the kids need some new clothes thats if Jacks bank balance can handel it" she said grinning as Jack looked at her in mock shock but then he smiled at her "of course I won't go over dear , Khaat you want to come with ?" she said standing and walking over to her "after your rested first " she said smiling and looking to Robert then back at Khaat hoping she would "I'll finish the kitchen chorse you got get some rest" jess glanced at Jack "you too dear , kitchen bet the florr could do with a mop after all that flour " Jess turned to face Robert "goods to see you looking some what like your self again , sir" she smiled to him she was glad he was getting better but like Khat it would take so much time to be 100% again.

Khaat nodded. Shopping was just what she wanted. Jess had gotten the message. But she had gotten Jess's message too. Jess wanted her to rest first. As a healer, Khaat knew Jess was right, but she was afraid of sleep. She didn't want to close her eyes.

"Come on. I'll go with you," Brian said quietly. "I think they can handle it for awhile." He reached out his hand to her. She wanted to resist, but already, she was placing her hand in his, surrendering to him. "You'll excuse us, won't you?" Brian asked. "I think I'll make sure she feels safe enough to go stretch out for a little bit."

He took her upstairs and got her to stretch out on the bed by simply stretching out beside her. "You don't have to sleep," he told her. "Just rest a bit. Just lay here with me." She nodded. She huddled in his chest, and before long, she was slipping off into an exhausted sleep with her head on his chest.

Jess smiled as she nodded and more so when brian sugested she rest knowing thats what she needed most "we'll be find Brian I'm sure we can amuse ourselves for a few hours " she said and held Jacks hand as Khaat took Brians in her own. She lent back on him feeling some what tired her self from using her seer abilitys she rested against jack feeling the warmth from the fire and closed her eyes for a moment with a sigh wondering what jack was going to get her for christmas and hoped it would be wonderful and she could not help but smile.

It was a long couple of hours in their bedroom. Every time Khaat's eyes would flutter shut and she'd slip off to sleep, she'd wake a moment or two later with a hard jolt, breathless, her heart feeling like it had been so terror stricken that it had faultered and stopped altogether. Brian had been faithful and had stayed and had held her close. Every time her form jerked and tried to bolt before she was awake, he held her fast and reassured her.

Brian didn't like how thin she had become. The clothes hid it well, but he could now see her ribs and her hipbones again when the clothes didn't hide it. She'd gotten this way when she had nearly died after having Abbey. It was a page he had thought he could prevent them from revisiting. And things really had been going well. Until Felix Barker. Well, Barker was at the top of his list of people to kill at the moment. His boss, Luther Burke, and his boss, Tom Gelding, well, they were numbers two and three, respectively. The man who had ground Khaat's spirit into near dust was top on his list right now. Brian wanted revenge. Khaat was the strongest woman he'd ever known, and Barker somehow had scrambled her brain like an egg. Yeah, he was going to kill that ass, if it took his last breath.

Khaat finally gave up trying to sleep, feeling more tired than when she laid down. He couldn't blame her, really. He had tried a sleep spell, but it had only left her trapped in the nightmares with no way to get out. So he had pulled the sleep spells off. He could see exactly where her mind was going. She was shutting even further down and away. She was resolving to go back to work and to try to sleep as little as possible. And when that happened, it would create a natural lack of appetite because of the lack of sleep. He could see an intensely negative spiral coming.

He diverted her into a bubble bath, just for her relaxation. To let her soak in the tub with bubbles up to her neck. He treated her to a glass of champagne. He knew how she liked the taste of champagne. And while she soaked, he packed a bag for both of them. He tucked it away, but he did feel it was getting time to use it. After making sure she felt safe to soak by herself for a bit, he left her for a few moments and went downstairs.

"Hey, all," Brian said quietly. "While Khaat is busy upstairs, can I have a word with you?"

Jess suddenly sat upright and sighed she picked up on Khaats nightmares and sighed as she rubbed her eyes clean of sleep she knew she would have trouble sleeping if she staid but she would stay.

She watched Brian walk down and knew Khaat was awake she shifted to look at him watching as Ronata and steven stopped doing the puzzel and looked at him. She had an idea what he was going to ask but kept quiet she wanted to talk to Robert about something when she could catch him alone.

"Its more than obvious that Khaat is having a tough time," Brian said. "The longer she stays locked up inside herself, the deeper this is all going to get. Somehow I have to get her to be comfortable just letting go of whatever this is."

"Agreed," Robert said, looking at Brian through his glasses as he folded the copy of the newspaper he was reading and laid it on his lap. "You have a plan?"

"I do. I want to take Khaat for two or three days to Tuscany. Just her and I. I have to get her completely alone, I think. She's not going to let go of anything right now, but maybe, if I get her alone...."

"In someplace she loves," Robert added. "Its worth a try. Don't go without taking the sleep potion with you. You want one of us to watch the girls for you?"

"Please? Anybody? You're welcome to take them with you or stay here. Whatever works," Brian asked.