The Master Becomes the Grass Hopper?

Jack had just hit up Zonko's, restocking her supply of fireworks sinche she had used most of hers at the welcoming feast, and before that when she had been working on modifying them. The first batch had failed, the second had transformed the sparks into a dancing squirrel which, while epic, was not what she had been going for. The large, color-changing dragon had been the coolest thing for the night.

She hitched up her bag; she had also grabbed herself another Fanged Frizzbee, having lost hers after a bad talk by the lake. She had grabbed more dungbombs, as they were always useful, and was feeling as though she was destined to be better off now that she was restocked.

She continued walking before the itch to prank had become to great. She could not feel so laden down with tools of chaos and not cause some sort of trouble. It just did not feel right. However, she did not want to use up everything she had bought so she extracted her trusted laser pointer and turned around in her seat, pointing it at a shiny surface and grinning as it rebounded and shone on someone's face. Elementary, but fun.

Michael was off to the local shop. He had chosen a pair of jeans, some sneakers, a black cotton shirt and a suede sportscoat. He still thought he looked more like a muggle professor than what he had truly been at one time in his life. Today, though, he had to buy more freaking socks for that enchanted ottoman of Khaat's. Stupid thing had continued to eat his socks when Michael ignored it. And now, not only was he sockless, except for the pair he had on, but there were little bits of socks all over the cottage. Khaat really had owed it to him to tell him the footstool that believed it was a cocker spaniel ate socks. What was it about Lupins and socks, anyway?

He saw a precocious looking little student leaving Zonko's. Her backpack was obviously loaded down with pranks. It made him smile. He repressed a serious need to laugh out loud. Instead, he walked up to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulder and said softly in her ear, "That will never do, you know," he said. "Zonko's is so entirely beneath your potential. If you want to do it right, you'll need to amp those little bits and bobs you just bought quite a lot. So--who exactly is our mark, my dear?"

Michael loved a good prank. And this little playful spirit needed some professional, seasoned guidance. Today, he felt more than up to the task. Albus would be turning in his grave if he knew that Michael had teamed up to teach one of the Hogwarts students some of the finer points to mischief. Ah, well, he couldn't keep his secrets hidden forever, now could he? Besdes she might be just the one to appreciate them.

Jack felt an arm come around her and she snapped up her hand to shrug whoever it was off, sure that it was some cocky boy on a dare to go mess with the shrew, but when she turned it was... an old guy. He seemed to be amused by her plans for her hijinks rather than scolding, as most older people Jack had meant usually was. She felt her eyebrows go together.

However, she felt her curiosity and her troublemaking spirit overthrow her confusion, and she quickly decided to dismiss it. "In all honesty, I'm going for whoever is unfortunate enough to land in my path." As far as small pranks, she had begun to fall up short. She had a few large pranks planned, a few under way, but nothing small enough to pass off between classes.

She rolled the chain of the laser pointer on her fingers, saying, "Not too many wizards expect a floating red dot to begin harassing them, but it's not too effective today without any cats to help me out." She sighed, a smirk on her face. The last time she had utilized the laser pointer, she had had a cat and a moody poltergeist target... Fun times.

"Muggle toys," he laughed. "Those make great pranks because wizards generally don't mess with them. I think we can spice things up back at old Hoggy's for you. I come from a long heritage of great pranksters. And from what I hear some of the stuffed shirts that are teaching your classes just don't have much of a sense of humor anymore. Well, perhaps its time we livened things up a bit in the old castle. I'm Michael. Michael Tremaine. And what I can teach you is definitely not on the Hogwarts cirriculum. Come with me."


He turned on his heel and walked the other way, leading her to the Three Broomsticks. He went inside and saw his friend Rufus O'Brian tending the bar today. He waved at Rufus as he chose a table and invited the young friend with him to take a seat. Rufus followed them over to the table.

"And what will you be having today, my friend?" Rufus asked in his thick Irish brogue.

"Just a pint, please, Rufus, and whatever my young friend here would like--on my account, of course."

"Of course," Rufus said. Then the Irishman's face lit up. "Oh! I have just the thing. I have a new pumpkin spiced ale for Halloween. Would you be willing to try a pint?"

"Pumpkin ale?" Michael frowned. Now that sounded like a prank all its own. Some things, like beer, just didn't need to be messed with, and Michael couldn't fathom pumpkin in his beer. "On one condition--that you give me a regular pint if I don't like it."

"Done and done," Rufus beamed. "You won't be sorry." He turned and looked at the young woman with Michael. "And for you, Dear? What can I get you? The butterbeer is quite lovely, and we have hot spiced cider as well. Or sodas."

Jack felt a smirk come onto her face at his words and he introduced himself. She opened her mouth to say her own name but he turned and walked away. She ticked her head slightly, her lips pursing in slight irritation, but mostly intrigue and curiosity. It was not often she met someone as bold as her nor as randomly awkward.

She hurried after and followed him into the Three Broomsticks, staring at the back of his head as though if she stared hard enough she would be able to see into his skull and see what the strange person in front of her was thinking. Instead, she was shown only a table and a waiter, and she took a seat across form her new friend, Michael, curious to find out what knowledge he had to offer her.

The waiter turned to her and she grinned. "Sodas are sort of my staple, so yeah. Just something cola-y, I'm not really particular." As long as there was caffeine and caffination, she was pretty much completely content. She grinned, saying "Thanks." She turned back to Michael and quickly said, "I'm Jack Dyllan, by the way."

"Very nice to meet you, Jack," Michael said. "Rufus! You forgot something." He called his friend back. Michael rested his elbow on the tabletop and dangling from his index finger was Rufus's pocketwatch, dangling by the watchbob.

"Oh! You scallywag!" Rufus exclained, stomping back over to Michael, "You pilfered me watch, you did! You scamp!" He snatched the watch back from Michael and began to laugh. "You watch him, Miss," Rufus told Jack, "Or he'll have every sickle in your pocket."

"I'd never liberate a lady from her funds," Michael defended. He watched his friend start back to the bar, "Oh, and Rufus," Michael called, unable to resist, "If you bring us some snacks, I might even see fit to give you back your wedding band."

"What!" Rufus exclaimed and stared at his left hand. The ring was gone, and Michael had it, twirling it about on his finger.

"You dirty blighter! I'll set my Aggie on you, I will!" he said, charging back at Michael to retrieve his ring.

"No you won't," Michael said, "Aggie loves me." He dropped the ring into his friend's hand.

"Ah, that she does," Rufus laughed. "She does indeed. What else did you liberate from me pockets?"

"Just a marble. What are you doing with a marble in your pocket anyway?"

"Ah, found it on one of the tables here. Meant to throw it out. You can have it."

"Thank you. I have use for it."

"Well, I certainly don't. I''m glad to be rid of it." He walked away from the table.

"Well, now that I have something worthwhile, allow me to show you a couple of minor spells." He used sone spell to enlarge the marble and then a second to transfigure the marble into a cat. "Now, try your laser pointer. If you become proficient at it, you can have a cat in your pocket anytime you want."

Jack watched the humorous scene unfold before her, watching with interest as the two seemingly friends interacted, and as Michael played a joke on his friend. When Rufus told her to watch him, she smiled but said none of her usual cocky remarks, preferring to resume watching the scene unfold, curious to see how the situation was best handled.

She could not stifle a laugh when Michael revealed he had stolen Rufus' wedding band and she snickered to herself as they continued talking. She waved faintly, still laughing, as Rufus walked away, Michael left with his small marble trophy. She nodded her head in approval. "Very nice."

He offered to show her some spells and she felt her brain begin to quickly file them away somewhere where she would remember them as she saw the marble take the form of a cat. It was strange how hew mind could memorize a million spells about pranking and let her completely disregard spells pertaining to schoolwork. Maybe because she saw practicality in pranking spells.

She held out a hand and the cat ran its sleek, cool body under her hand, arching its back as her hand slid along its marble back. Such an odd sensation...She grinned and extracted her laser pointer, pointing at the table adjacent. The car arched its back and sprung onto the table, pouncing onto the table, much to the surprise of its occupants who let out exclamations. "That's brilliant!" Jack commented.

"He'll make a great pet, too, by the way," Michael said, "Except he won't be much for warming your feet. " With a flick of his wand and a quick spell, the cat became a marble again, and he accio'd it into his hand and handed it to her.

Rufus brought back the pint of pumpkin ale and Jack's cola, along with a tray of traditional pub snacks and glared at Michael, "Are ye trying to run off all my patrons, Mike?"

"Not at all. Just showing Jack the finer things in life."

"Blimey. Just what we need around here is two of you," Rufus shook his head. "Please, I beg of you, don't do the thing with the bats. Just not today. No bats." He walked off, shaking his head.

"Hm..."Michael said, the mischievious glint in his eyes flashing. "Well, I wasn't going to, but it really would be quite rude of me not to show you what the daylights he was talking about, now wouldn't it? He took a small notepad and a pencil from his pocket and wrote on the paper, "Bats, Bats, Bats, Bats, Bats." He tore the sheet out and laid in on the table. He glanced around to see Rufus shaking his head at him. "Can't help meself, Rufus," Michael laughed, imitating his pal's Irish brogue. He looked back at Jack and showed her the simple incantation to transfigure the words to the creatures. Black curls of smoke rose from the paper and each curl took the form of a bat that flew and screeched around the room. Michael laughed out loud.

"Just don't do it with elephants," Michael told her. "That one never works out so well. Smaller animals work out much better. Mice, rabbits, birds, that sort of bit. It was my favorite in study hall. Although you do need to hide in a dark corner or behind a classmate or they'll see the smoke rising up from your paper. It takes a bit to master this one and not get caught."

Jack watched with interest, bringing her arms to the table and folding her hands, bringing her head close to the top of the table, her eyes squinting on the paper as though she did not want to miss anything during a children's magic show. He glanced up at her and she met his eyes for a moment to, again, memorize the spell before looking back at the paper, waiting for the main event.

Smoke curled up from the papers and the columns of smoke transfigured into live bats which then began to flutter about the crowded room, pestering the occupants of the Three Broomsticks. She leaned back in her chair, watching the bats begin to dive bomb the people there, making Jack laugh, her eyes twinkling with contentment. "This is great."

She looked forward as he began to talk to her about it. She said not to do the spell with elephants and she burst into laughter. She listened to the rest of his suggestions and she replied, "Oh don't worry. I may be naturally obnoxious, but I can also be rather sneaky and sly. This is amazing. Did you think this stuff up?"

"Well, I can't claim all of them as mine," he said honestly. "I had a lot of friends, and we all really seemed to delight in making just a bit of mischief. We were quite fortunate, really, because Dumbledore, who was just a professor then, had a great sense of humor and would look the other way a great deal of the time or take things in stride. I don't believe you will have that luxury now.

"When we were 7th years, my friend got this great love for turning people into bugs. He delighted in turning one of us into a housefly and letting us go spy on faculty meetings or in meetings in the headmaster's office. It was great fun. He didn't quite master the art of leaving our memories entirely intact when he transfigured us back, so we from time to time got our facts a bit jumbled. I daresay he is quite proficient now at transfiguring people into bugs and back now. It's probably still his favorite spell.

"So, tell me about you. What are your favorite spells and pranks? Which ones are your best?"