I need you to tell me I can...

The Room of Requirement was a bigger manipulator than The Veil was. The Room had known exactly what Elijah had wanted to say to Chase and it had compelled him, pushed him to say it; it had pushed him to tell her the truth. Merlin knows he’d wanted to but that fear, that eternal fear had stopped him from telling her. Everything that ever happened to him in life, everything that he’d suffered through seemed to be the cause of that four letter word that meant so much. It was a huge word, one he dare not whisper unless it was to his own children. He’d lost Alice because he’d loved her. Still to this day he loved her and he didn’t think he would ever stop loving that her.

She was a massive part of him still even though she was dead and gone. But for some reason, this Chase shaped piece fit in the crater that Alice had left behind. She slotted into the space perfectly and Elijah knew that his subconscious needed something to grab hold of, something to pull it from the past and into the present. Chase would fix him, he was sure. Chase and their child, their little girl or little boy would fix him. He’d tried to fill the crater with Fauve but she had succeeded in filling the place in his heart that didn’t need to necessarily be filled. Chase...she fit but Elijah was scared that if he told her, if he let her in and enveloped himself around her, taking her as his, he would lose her.

Technically he didn’t have her but in the form she was with him...right now that was enough. He wanted more of course, he wanted her constantly in his arms so he could protect her, but he had had it drilled into him that there within his arms was the most unsafe place for someone to be. He’d been hugging Alice when she’d been plucked from his arms. The House Elves had taken her away from him as he what was left of her in the snow. He wasn’t separated from her, she was separated from him and Elijah was truly terrified of that happening again. He couldn’t bear to lose Chase and if the only way he could keep her was to hold her at arms length then he would torture her so he could keep her.

But Elijah wanted advice. He wanted someone to tell him that he was thinking a load of bull; that it was okay to let Alice go. He wanted to know this because every time he tried to fill the hole with Chase he could feel guilt begin to overtake him. He didn’t want to lose Alice but he didn’t want to lose Chase either. Why couldn’t he be selfish and keep both? Because the Gods wouldn’t let him, that’s why. It was one or the other and although he wanted to keep Alice there was nothing left there. With Chase...that was where the true adventure began. He could feel her, touch her, love her...but with Alice he could only love and think and relive. Chase was real. Alice was no longer.

This was why Elijah found himself in St. Mungo’s, sitting in one of the little square alcoves where a table and a few chairs were. He was cupping a mug of tea in his hands and keeping his eyes on the slit cut in the polystyrene. He’d asked for Robert and he’d been told to wait. That man was the only one that could help him now.

Hannah had told him that Eli was wanting to see him. He was delighted any time he got to see Eli. Eli and Fauve had sort of silently wheedled their way into Robert's heart whe they had lived with Khaat. He loved him lik a grandson. And he always delighted in every second he could spend with Eli or Fauve either one. He knew, from Khaat, about Eli and Chase's new problems. Khaat had wanted him to know since Chase would need ongoing prenatal care and since her father was the tre expert in such matters. If push came to shove and things became difficult, Khaat would not hesitate to bring Robert into the matter so that Chase and the baby got the very best possible care.

Robert found Eli sitting alone, huddled in one of the waiting rooms, with a styrofoam cup of tea in his hands. He looked so childlike to Robert. A young man suddenly thrust into more terrifying adult issues than he had any possible way of knowing how to cope with. Robert's heart was moved to compassion with Eli before Eli even knew Robert was there. Robert had almost forgotten that he had a way of being completely silent when he wanted to be. He softly cleared his throat to let Eli know he was there without frightening him.

"Hello, Eli," Robet smiled warmly. "It's always good to see you. You look like you could use a friend about now. Why don't we go someplace private and we can talk. You are, clearly, a man with a lot on his mind."

Actually, Robert was feeling like Eli looked like a young man who was feeling the weight of the world pressing down against his shoulders. Robert wanted very much to lift some of that off of him. The healers lounge and sunroom were both deserted this time of day. The healers weren't due for a break for quit some time. Their shifts had just started. They would be interrupted. And here, they ran the chance of being interrupted or overherad by just about anybody. He wanted Eli to be comfortable.

The stale hospital smell was something that took quite some time to remove itself from your nostrils. The feeling was quite unique and would have been borderline pleasurable if it wasn’t for the fact that it was dead oxygen and carbon dioxide that was being inhaled. There was smell to the gases, just the scent of the cleaning fluids that seemed to have mixed with the two. The hospital was unique in itself though. There it seemed as if Elijah could hide and mince through his thoughts. In Coffee shops he had irritating little witches asking him every fifteen minutes if he needed a refill knowing full well he hadn’t touched his coffee but were just looking for an excuse to talk to him. He wasn’t famous, he didn’t enjoy fame, but his father’s reputation preceded him. That was all the man was, a brand. Elijah couldn’t remember ever spending real quality time with his father. All he could remember was the father figure try and teach him how to be a man, starting with flying.

That was probably the only time Elijah had ever seen his father really smile at him. Elijah had taken to the air like a fish to water, as if he was made to glide through the air. That was exactly what he was made to do but even Viktor had been impressed by his son. Elijah could fly a broom while under the effects of the Draught of Living Death. The Firebolt and the boy had moulded together and for a few hours Viktor had been able to forget that the morsel of a human being on the broom was his son. All he could see was a flier, not what was on the broom – not his son. Elijah had seen his father grin widely up at him but when he returned to the ground the smile dropped from his face and would have fallen to the floor given the chance. He muttered nothing, not a single word of praise, before turning on his heel and storming back to the house, leaving Elijah with the broom.

But that wasn’t what Elijah was worried about. The possibility of turning into Viktor was always hanging over him like a dark cloud but he...he was terrified of this, this new thing. He had his family, he had Fauve and Thierry and the abundance of cats which Fauve refused to let him give to the blue cross. But that was on his terms. He’d chosen this...he’d chosen Fauve and Thierry because he’d fallen in love with them as soon as he’d clapped eyes on them. Fauve in her innocence surrounded by the women and Thierry struggling with the case of wine that Theo had made him bring to Elijah. They had been children crying out for love and he’d given it to them on a silver platter. He wanted his children with him always, no matter what the cost but this ... this wasn’t on his terms.

Chase was...well, growing something that he hadn’t exactly planned. He’d made a mistake but now he wasn’t sure he wanted to give it up. He was the first to admit that he’d mucked up and he regretted doing this to her. The sex, however, he did not regret. But this he didn’t mean to do. This wasn’t in the back of his mind when he considered bedding her. He wasn’t even considering it, thinking about it even. Nothing had clocked in his brain to make him stop and cast a charm. Nothing had happened, he’d been lost in the moment and he had a feeling she had been too. Now he was paying for it. This little bundle of joy would be theirs to contend with in nine months time and Elijah wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t care what anyone said, nine months wasn’t a long time and he knew that he’d be nigh on useless by the time it came.

He was panicking. He’d accepted this, told her that he’d be there, but now the force of this prospect had truly hit him. He’d talked things through with Khaat but that turned into yet another Rob affair with Jen storming off in a huff. Only Robert could man a situation without letting everyone else’s conflict getting involved. Thankfully Elijah was alone. Camille had decided to take Fauve and Thierry away from the Chocolaterie for an hour or so and she’d taken them to one of the independent art galleries Arnold owned. This particular one housed Elijah’s work. Why Camille was still so desperate to make it up to him was beyond Elijah.

The familiar voice shook Elijah from his thoughts and he looked up, his dark chocolate eyes searching out the man he associated the voice with. Elijah smiled gratefully and pushed the polystyrene cup away from him. It hissed as the friction between its base and the table became too much and Elijah winced. He got out from the booth and stood in front of Robert. “That would be great actually,” He said tiredly, seven years of stress and fatigue finally rearing its ugly head and becoming visible on his face. “Prying eyes and nosy parker’s is the last thing I need right now.”

"Let's go upstairs, then," Robert said. He motioned for Eli to walk with him. He knew Eli was displaying an incredible amount of stress. He could see it clearly. It was as transparent to Robert as window glass. Eli needed support. He needed someone to be who his parents had never been--the calm voice of reason, with a huge dose of support thrown in on the side.

Robert chose to take the elevator up to the top floor. There was never, ever as much confusion on this floor since it was restricted to healers only. Patients never came up here--not unless they were bearing a grudge of some sort and needed to see him or Khaat, but things were going amazingly smoothly as far as the hospital went. At this time of day, the only ones on this floor were Khaat, Hannah, and himself.

"Let's go in here," Robert motioned to the healers' lounge. The healers did know that if Robert or Khaat were meeting with someone in here, they needed to go get their coffee downstairs in the dining room or from the ever present coffee pot in Khaat's office. However, it took a strong healer indeed to drink Khaat's French Roast that she brewed to be delibertely very strong anyway.

"Can I at least replace that paper cup with something decent?" Robert asked, picking up two mugs from the refreshment bar. He handed one to Eli. For himself, he chose a cup of the Pumpkin Spice tea. It had been a new flavor Robert had come up with, and the flavor was selling out every place that offered it, much to his surprise. Sparks had to resort to brewing it continuously, as did the St. Mungo's kitchens. Robert had resigned to giving the recipe to Lizzie at Sparks as well as the St. Mungo's chef so he wasn't religated to doing nothing more than making Pumpkin Spice tea as fast as he could manage the task. He did enjoy the smell, with the rich pumpkin taste, with the backnotes of cinnamon, cloves, ginger, allspice, nutmeg, and orange. It was a warm comforting flavor, and it had a relaxing effect in much the same way that chamomile did. There was nothing magical about it, but it did seem to make people feel better just by sitting with it, drinking it, and smelling it.

"Help yourself to whatever you like," Robert invited Eli. There were several flavors of tea, several flavors and types of coffee, delicious hot cocoa made with whole cream that was thick and rich and decadent, along with hot spiced cider, chai tea, and an almost endless assortment of non alcoholic icy cold beverages. There were all sort of baskets of practically every snack and munchie that anyone could imagine. In addition, it was not unusual for light fare to be set out at the mealtimes of the healers--salads, deli sandwiches, or breakfast sandwiches and fresh fruit salads. The healers could eat, if they liked the day's offerings, without charge.

Robert took his tea, added a slight bit of sugar and a very slight bit of fresh whole cream, stirred his mug and walked over to a comfortable terracotta colored wing chair not far from the fireplace and sat down. It was a chilly day, and the fire in the fireplace was cheery and warming. He did not want to rush Eli. Robert was happy to take as much time as the boy needed to help him sort out the source of his distress.