Tea Time

"Sit down," Khaat told him with a serene quietness. Eli needed to hear someone who had that serenity amidst the panic he was feeling for whatever reason. She poured him a cup of tea to calm him. It was a new herbal tea--a spice blend that was full of a lot of fall flavors but also had a base of calming herbs to it. It was quickly becoming a favorite right now, and they were having troubles keeping enough brewed as quickly as it was selling. She took Eli's hand and pulled him gently into the seat on her right, the other side of her.

As she did, Dakota decided she'd had enough of being quiet and started to try to fuss. At the tiniest little squeak from her, Brian rescued the beautiful little girl and grabbed another bottle from the diaper bag, warmed it and began to feed her. Khaat cast a quick and calm smile at Brian. He was such a wonderful father. He had learned almost instantly to detect one child's cry from the other, and he seemed to know each one's little quirks and personality traits immediately. She was glad Brian had come today. His idea of making it a family outing had been a good idea.

She redirected her attention and put the mug in front of him. "A calming tea," she said very gently. "Drink. And then, after you take a moment to pull yourself together, tell us what's wrong." Fauve climbed up onto her lap and motioned to her cider mug. "More, please?" she asked Khaat.

"Certainly," Khaat said. It was healthy. It was, after all, apple juice, basically. She picked up the pitcher of cider and added some more to Fauve's mug as the child settled in to make herself at home on Khaat's lap. Khaat could not have been more pleased. She loved to have children around. She was starting to think that perhaps she and Brian might try for another child or two. She was, secretly, hoping to have a house full of children running around. More girls and definitely some boys. A whole tribe of them, if she had her way.

The table had fallen silent and it was Khaat that spoke through the silence. Elijah was grateful it was her and not Rob or Jen. Khaat was understanding. He didn’t think she’d go off on one when he confessed to her what he’d done. It wasn’t as if he’d killed someone. It was the opposite actually and it was that prospect that made things worse for him. He’d accepted what was happening but only now was he realising what was happening; what was changing. Elijah wasn’t sure if he could deal with it on his own either.

He night on fell down into the seat and his eyes fell to the table. His eyes glazed over and he looked unseeingly at the table. He didn’t like it, he decided. He wrung his hands together a few times and when Khaat put the mug in front of him, he took it from her hands. He looked at Fauve and watched the little girl interact with Khaat. He smiled a little and wondered whether she’d be like that with Chase or not want anything to do with either of them.

If it came to that, Elijah would be torn. He had a responsibility and it was to look after the baby but he loved Fauve more than anything in the world. What would he do? Elijah sighed shakily and brought the mug to his lips. He truly hoped it wouldn’t come to that. He drank the tea in a few gulps and put the mug down on the table, pushing it away from him. “Chase is pregnant.” He announced after a moment. Obviously Khaat didn’t know who Chase was – or did she? – but she could put two and two together.

Khaat had watched Eli intensely. She saw, above all things, intense anxiety. Panic, really. She listened to him, and absorbed quickly what had happened. He'd gotten a girl pregnant, and the weight of it was overwhelming for him.

"Eli," she said softly, laying her hand on his arm, "It'll be alright. Listen. You are one of the finest young fathers I have ever, ever met. You'll do just fine. I don't know Chase from Adam's housecat, but I do know you. And I know this comes as a shock to you, but we'll help. You are not alone.

"First of all, do not make any rash or quick choices about your relationship with Chase. There's time to sort all that out. What do you know about Chase's family? Does she have a good relationship with them? They will have to know and be involved in the planning. And I know you haven't had the best relationship with your own parents, but if Brian and I, or my parents can help, we're right here. You've been a part of our family for a very long time. We'll stand by you with this--no matter what.

"Take a moment and breathe. Fauve is an excellent example of what a good father you are. I don't know Thierry, but he looks like a really bright young lad. What I do know is that I've seen you with Fauve. I know how loving and patient and giving you are. You will be a wonderful father to this child too.

"Brian and I understand part of your anxiety. I brought Abbey home and was tail over teakettle in love with her and then here comes Dakota right after her. But what we've learned is that, no matter how many children we have, we will love them all the same. And if you and Chase ever need a hand, all you need to do is ask. It'll all work out. "

There was a smack and Elijah looked up to see Rob’s legs dangling in the air. Laughter bubbled up from the floor and Elijah looked to see Jen holding Abbey, her face reddening as she got angrier. Elijah looked down at his hands and tried to drown out the laughter that Rob couldn’t stop. Elijah blanched and kept his eyes on his hands as he listened to Khaat. He knew he could do it...he could do the dad thing again but it was just the whole concept. He didn’t want this. He’d been happy the way things were before. Now, everything was out of control.

He choked up a little when Khaat mentioned Chase’s parents and he desperately wanted to snap at her. He knew it wasn’t her fault though. She didn’t know. He rubbed his face with his hands and groaned loudly. He couldn’t believe what was happening. He realised that either way it was but it hadn’t hit him until now. “I never knew her family.” He said quietly, rolling his fingers over his temples. “They died. They...they were murdered by that effing Poltergeist in Knockturn Alley. He just picked a random house and killed all of them.”

“It’s not as if I’m going to have some irate wizard chasing after me with his wand...it’s just us! My parents won’t give a toss. Viktor will be pissed that I didn’t go into the ‘family business’ and mother will be upset because I didn’t follow pureblood protocol or whatever it was. Well that and the fact that I didn’t shack up with that stupid B**** she wants me to marry. It’s just us...” He mumbled the last part to himself, not quite believing his own words.

Elijah felt Thierry’s presence beside him and he lifted the boy onto his lap. The child was smart and beautiful – a little too pretty to be a boy. He had flyaway hair that never stayed away from his face, it always fell into his eyes and no matter how many times Camille cut it, it still grew back the next day. Elijah swept the dark locks away from his son’s face and smiled sadly at the concerned looking boy. The child whispered something to his father in French and Elijah’s smile lost some of its sadness. He wrapped his arms tightly around the boy and pulled him close, muttering ‘Thank you’ in his ear.

Elijah rested his chin on top of Thierry’s head and sighed. “I just...I’m scared I’ll let them down. I’ve done the toddler to young child thing but never the baby part – there I’m lost. And I ...” He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of Thierry’s hair. It smelt as if Camille had been squeezing strawberries over his head. It was a wonderful smell. “She told me I have a choice...if I want to I can walk away from them but I don’t want to...I just...I don’t want to disappoint either of them but I’m scared I will. I’m scared everything will go tits up and I won’t be able to fix it.”

Elijah felt Thierry pick up one of his hands and he looked over the boy’s shoulder to see him playing with one of the rings on his right hand. “It’s a love knot.” Thierry said in a way of explain why he was looking at the ring. “The charmed ones are quite rare actually. This is charmed to fit the wearer’s finger exactly. Where did you get it, dad?”

The boy looked at Elijah for an explanation but he was at a loss. “I ... don’t know, Thierry. I just...I’ve always had it. I think it was my grandmother’s...” Elijah’s eyebrows knitted together as he tried to remember how he came by it and he recalled the day almost perfectly. “You see it always used to sit in her jewellery box. It had its own little place within the silk and I always admired it. I’d spend hours staring at it, turning it over in my hands. They weren’t any bigger than yours.” Elijah slipped the ring off of his finger and placed it in the boy’s hand. Just as he used to, Thierry turned it over, inspecting it closely. “One day my grandmother caught me looking at it. I thought I was in trouble. I would have been had it been my mother but she laughed at my worrying and slid it onto this finger,” He showed the boy the white skin where the ring had been all those years. “Told me to keep it until I deemed it appropriate to give it to someone else.”

“You never knew what it meant?” Thierry asked, his eyes alight with the need to learn more. Elijah shook his head. “Hm. You’re weird.” Thierry declared, placing it back in Elijah’s palm. “You should have asked her, dad.” Elijah slid it back onto his finger and looked at his son, smiling slightly. Thierry was good at lightening moods. Thank Merlin. “Why should I have asked her when I could ask you?” Elijah shot back. Thierry rolled his eyes and reached forward for his mug of cider. “Because it’s not as special. Maybe you should look it up yourself.” He said tartly.

“This child,” Elijah said, nudging Thierry playfully. “has yet to be influenced by me.”
“Not that I’d want to be!” Thierry shot back quickly.
Elijah became solemn again. “Khaat...I just don’t want to muck this up. I know it sounds stupid because I’m a father to these two but this is mine...I don’t want to corrupt it.”

"You won't," she smiled. "And you know what? Every parent of every infant has those feelings. Those feelings are all perfectly normal. I didn't realize Chase didn't have any parents. I'm sorry. But here's the thing--we all feel pressured to live up to other people's excpectations, especially our parents, and especially if they come from a family of some fame. I do know what that is like. I went through some of that--always being compared to Remus in some way or another, just as I'm certain you were always compared to your father. You do not ever, ever have to live up to anyone else's expectations. In fact, I think your own criticism of yourself is tougher than anything your parents could dish out at you.

"Eli, you are, to me, as much my son as any of the other children I have. You always have been. I will help you get adjusted to doing the 'baby thing', but I am not the least bit worried. You're wonderful with children. You're going to do well with this too. You are welcome to come and stay with Brian and me anytime you want. And Fauve and Thierry too, you know that. There is more than enough room, believe me. And if you and Chase want to stay with us so we can help you, that's fine with us too. You do have time to both make some choices and decisions, but all you need is a temporary plan. You don't need any permanent planning this soon. I'll help you every step. That's what I"m here for."

Elijah was glad in a way that his anxiety was normal but that didn’t take the feeling away. He didn’t care if it was normal for him to panic of whether or not he would ruin his child’s life or not. He felt awful for it. It was as if there was nothing else. He couldn’t be happy about it until everything was under control again. He would feel better when everything was set; when he knew his son or daughter would come into the world and nothing would be wrong. He wanted everything perfect...anything that didn’t fit could sod right off as far as he was concerned. This was a big jigsaw puzzle and he needed time to fix it. Thankfully he had time; nine months worth to sort things out.

“Khaat I just couldn’t live with myself if I made another mistake. I’m not going to lie...I don’t want this but I know I can make it work. This child is surrounded by uncertainty but I know even though I don’t want this now...I wouldn’t have it any other way. I need to have everything sort of right... you know? I need it...not perfect but ideal! I don’t want my misshapen lifestyle to be the one this baby gets entered into. I want to be there...I want to create the perfect atmosphere. This is going to be crazy when the world finds out...I want my children away from everything...away from the world. Hell! If it means I can finally be there year round for my children then I’ll somehow get Doyle to let me take my N.E.W.T’s this year. I’ll probably only get A’s but I can live with that. What I can’t live with it the fact that I can’t be there...that I can’t have this child in the right sort of place...a place for he or she to grow. I want to be a part of my child’s life that’s natural and I’m willing to tear down everything standing in my way.”

"You know what? It isn't hard to do the math and figure out that Abbey was conceived before Rob and I were married. I don't regret it, and judging by that Cheshire cat grin on his face when he sees her, he doesn't regret it now either. But it hasn't always been like that. You wanna tell him how well you did with my labor and Abbey's birth, or shall I?" Khaat looked at Rob pointedly. "Jen won't have an ounce of trouble telling you I"m sure. No more than I would. We had a lot of the same anxieties. And we know what its like to be unsettled until that child is born. But as a father already, you know that even once you have your child in your life, you don't become anxiety free. Those anxieties and worries just change. Welcome to parenthood, Eli. This is what it is. And my father would be the first to tell you that you don't stop being a parent just because your child is grown. Once you're a parent, you're a parent forever.

"You are not to jeopardize your school. That's important. We'll make sure that Chase and you both have enough support in whatever way you need so that you can finish. "

"Khaat," Brian spoke up finally, laying his hand on hers. "Let me say something here. Eli, I don't know what you know or don't know. But Khaat and Abbey and Dakota live with me. Our home is more than large enough to take care of you, Chase and all of your kids. There is also a very large guest house that is not being used right now. That would more than accoomodate you and the kids for however long you want it. It is very safe and very secure. You're welcome anytime you want."

"And I don't want Abbey growing up any place else," Khaat said. "Well, you know what I mean. Its her home. Safe from all the wizarding world ugliness. And I want to keep it that way. Its as close to ideal for children as Brian and I have known how to make it. Believe me, we have the same worries about the girls."

Elijah knew that Khaat and Rob hadn’t been married. He didn’t want to marry Chase. It was a big leap even for him and he was bounding through his life at the speed of one of those Formula 1 racing cars Muggles drove. Well...it wasn’t that he didn’t want marry Chase. He didn’t know what he wanted. The only thing he felt he needed to do was be able to stand on both of his feet and manage his family without having to depend on other people. He wanted their help. He needed their assistance but he only in small doses. He wanted to prove to Chase and to himself that he could do this without falling over. He could do this. He knew he could.

Rob sat himself back into his chair and took Abbey from Jen. The woman got up and stalked into the kitchen, no doubt to rant and rave. Rob hugged Abbey close to him and looked at Khaat. “I’m sure we’ll look back on it in twenty years time and laugh!” Rob protested with a playful smile. Elijah smirked and looked back at Khaat. She knew what it was like for things to be unsettled but everything being unsettled wasn’t what Elijah wanted. He wanted a blank canvas so to speak. Currently everything was grey and murky. By the time the baby arrived he wanted something new to work with. He hoped to have something for them. He’d had a few places in mind and had already found some houses which would be ideal for them. For all of them, not just him, Chase and the baby. For Thierry and Fauve too.

“N-no...no it’s not...” Elijah protested although said protest was pretty weak. “I’m not likely to get a job in the Ministry or anything. I’m an artist. Last time I checked you didn’t need a degree to paint a few pretty pictures. Look...I can live without a pass in my subjects. I’m sure I could get on some kind of course in the future if I truly wanted to. But it’s not important...not as important as Chase or the baby or Fauve and Thierry!” Elijah said passionately, his protest more firm now.

Elijah pinched the bridge of his nose. “Thank you Brian, really. I don’t want to impose though. Really I just want to stand on my own two feet. I know I’m going to need some help but I want to be able to do this on my own. If I become dependent on you or on Rob and Jen then I’ll have no clue what to do when the rug is pulled out from underneath me. I really appreciate it but I just want to support them by myself y’know? I think it’ll make Arnold’s day...he’ll actually get some paintings from me.” Elijah chuckled.

“I want to take Fauve and Thierry home. France is my home...I’d like it if I could have Chase and our child there. I think if I had a home advantage then I’d know how to tackle things more easily. I was thinking maybe the south...in the countryside. The middle of the no where...”

"I think that is a wonderful goal to have," Khaat said gently. "But do you know if that is what Chase wants? That is an important consideration. Second, you don't know if you even need to drop out of Hogwarts at this point. It would be premature to do that right now. If she is early in her pregnancy, then, frankly, there are an awful lot of things that could happen, and hopefully none will. But, none of us know what the next nine months will bring And that may well be time enough for you to finish your final year.

"And what if Chase wants to have her baby at St. Mungos? Most wizarding mothers in England prefer to have their babies there. It is immensely important that the mother be comfortable and confident in where she is going to have her child and in who is going to deliver it.

"Furthermore, you are really underestimating your own abilities. You are a brilliant young man. And you might well choose to paint for the rest of your life. If that's your choice, then so be it. However, if not, and for some reason it no longer appeals to you, you might find the wizarding world a difficult place without finishing your school year.

"Look, if you decide, after graduation, that you and Chase want to move to France, then so be it. But this just might not be the time to make that decision." She looked at Rob who was being no bloody help whatsoever. She was hoping he would jump in at any time and actually say something useful. So long as it wasn't "Good plan, Eli! Drop out! Well done, Boy!" Or something equally as illthought out.

Khaat had a point. Elijah still had to talk to Chase about his ideas...his plans. They needed to sit down and plot things out...decide what needed to happen. But honestly, Elijah couldn’t think of any place that rivalled France. If he absolutely had to stay in the United Kingdom then he’d buy a ruddy island somewhere near Ireland or off the top of Scotland and build a house there. He wanted to ground all of them and put some roots down. If they could secure something and gather some form of reality, maybe even a routine, then Elijah could work up from there. He could decide whether he wanted to continue painting or whatever he wanted to do.

Whatever he wanted to do...yeah that definitely sounded more likely. He was headstrong and overly impulsive but he was also stubborn and decisive. He’d made up his mind and for now he knew what he needed to do. If he could get to that point then he could relax for five minutes and work out where to go from there. He knew what they needed. They needed to be grounded, all of them. He and Chase needed space to breathe before the stress overwhelmed them and Fauve and Thierry needed a permanent residence.

“I just want to give her a home, Khaat.” Elijah frowned. “I’m not denying her the right to give birth to our child in a safe environment. I don’t want to hide her away, either. I know deep within me that everything is going to be alright. I want to bring us up to a point where we can work...where we can breathe. I need this...she needs this and Fauve and Thierry need this.”

Elijah sighed in frustration. The Wizarding World was fickle. It likes fame and fortune – he had both. He wasn’t being flippant but the Wizarding world could be bought off. In all truthfulness, Hogwarts a school that taught things you needed for adulthood. It wasn’t something that necessarily needed to be applied to jobs. If you were an Auror, yes, but it was all pretty random and hardly mattered in Elijah’s opinion.

Rob looked waited patiently for Khaat to finish. For once he felt he had something useful to say. Obviously no one trusted him enough to act sensibly. But Elijah and his sperm...it was an accident waiting to happen and Rob had found it amusing that the accident had happened. Was that such a crime? “It’s not a bad idea, y’know...” Rob chipped in. “To have something solid to weigh you down will be a good thing. I don’t doubt that right now everything is uncertain. To have something that’s yours and that you can have as a base...surely that’s not a bad goal, Khaat? It’s actually quite practical. It’ll be something to spend my money on. Think of it as an early baby shower-wedding present gift thing.” Rob grinned. There was the stupid answer... right at the end.